Category Archives: Bible Thoughts

Battle Plan for Comparison Blues – part 2

Battle Plan
An Antidote for Post Conference Blues or any Comparison Blues!

Every time I go to a conference, I come back with Post conference blues. I am so quick to compare myself and my children and my efforts with everyone else, and to take the talks terribly personally, that I am overwhelmed with my conviction, and am tempted to give up.

This year I recognized it a bit before going…with the issue of dress, and looks, and expected appearance. After we arrived at home, the blues hit again, and this time, I cried out.

Here is the antidote that God gave me: Part 2

I needed a battle plan….I was definitely in warfare!
I went to the obvious warfare passage:

Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

I was fighting with my husband’s flesh, my children’s flesh, and my own flesh (the latter being the most difficult!). I was falling prey to those fiery darts big time…and they were coming so fast and so furious, and I was so beaten down, my shield was almost too heavy to lift up.

Psal 3:2 (KJS) Many [there be] which say of my soul, [There is] no help for him in God. Selah.
3 But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

Somewhere I was missing something…but that goes back to part one…I was missing my promises! As my dear husband meditated on 2 Pet 1, he taught us on these verses – more promises to add to those God gave me (mentioned in part one)!

2Pet 1:2 (KJS) Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, 3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that [pertain] unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Promises:

11) Grace
12) Peace
13) both of those Multiplied through the Knowledge of God and Jesus!
14) I’ve been given All things that pertain unto life and godliness (I can do it through Him!)
15) other exceeding great and precious promises that will make me to be a partaker of the divine nature
15 b) and to escape the corruption of the world through the lust thereof

So, God has provided a way, and I just have to wait, and rejoice. I was already crying!

Phil 4:4 (KJS) Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice.
(James 1:2 always comes to mind when choosing to rejoice!)
Phil 4:6 (KJS) Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Ok, so I am taking thought, caring for my children’s futures, how to schedule our days, our seemingly endless failure to complete wisdom books(homeschooling) on time, and the fact that our marriage is not the ideal marriage, our life is not always lining up with what we say we believe…all this added to the health issues….whew. I needed to just get quiet! Rejoice?!? Count it all joy?!? I was trying hard not to grumble and complain!

So, how do I take on the enemy? Well, I’ll have to tell you that in Part three!

PART THREE

PART FOUR
BACK TO PART ONE

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #21 Let go of those broken chains

What do I mean by ‘let go of those broken chains’?

Ps 2:3 Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

I told my friend Mark that I was working on binding my will to God based on his comments in his Bible Study for Tuesday morning, on Genesis 12:1-3.

God moved Abraham. Literally. He told Abraham to move from the land and people he knew. In our moving away from that with which we are comfortable, God is able to bless us. It is our movement toward his will for our lives that becomes a blessing for us. Our own wills becoming bound to the will of God is what brings us happiness.

This 100 Spiritual Walking Steps has been all about moving towards God – and being IN the presence of God, IN His Will – is the fullness of Joy. (Neh 8:10)

I said I was trying to bind my will to HIS…but that I also need some work in James 1 – Counting all Joy when encountering trials.

He told me to watch out for the waves!
What waves? I had to go back to James!

James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

Wow…that smacked me in my face…
I’ve been struggling with this new injury to the old issue of my left ankle.

I told Mark “I feel like I’m seasick!”

I’ve been struggling with the old injury with my hips, the old injury with my lower back, middle back, and neck. I’ve been struggling with the newer injuries of my forearms(stress from walking and mobility devices) and now my elbows and wrists. I’m struggling with more and more medicine and why don’t I have the faith to do without? I’m struggling with daily disciplines that keep me in contact with my Savior. I’m struggling…and yes, I feel like waves keep overtaking me, and knocking me under…and I’m struggling to stay afloat.

Funny thing is, I love to lay on the water and just ride the waves. In fact, my husband was afraid the last time I did that I would be pulled out to sea by the tide. With each wave, I floated farther and farther away from the beach! I was so relaxed, I didn’t care! I told him that we’ll buy a long leash and tie it to my ankle so he can pull me back in!

Chains…we all started with chains that pull us back, pull us down, and keep us from soaring, or riding the waves.

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

That passage describes being set free to me.
Mature and complete, not lacking anything!
When Jesus died on the cross – He paid the sin price for me!
When Jesus rose from the dead – He defeated death and sin for me!
When Jesus ascended into Heaven – He became THE advocate for me!
I am set free!
And that is the truth…and the TRUTH shall set ME FREE!

And I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to dance!

It’s a choice…hold on to the chains that USED to describe me…or agree with the one that broke the chains and freed me.

I’m dancin’!!! Sing with me?
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance….
I just want to praise You!
I just want to praise You!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Battle Plan for Comparison Blues

Battle Plan
An Antidote for Post Conference Blues or any Comparison Blues!

Every time I go to a conference, I come back with Post conference blues. I am so quick to compare myself and my children and my efforts with everyone else, and to take the talks terribly personally, that I am overwhelmed with my conviction, and am tempted to give up.

This year I recognized it a bit before going…with the issue of dress, and looks, and expected appearance. After we arrived at home, the blues hit again, and this time, I cried out.

Here is the antidote that God gave me:

Ephe 6:10 (KJS) Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Who can be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might? Those that are the saved, called according to His purpose.

1John 5:4 (KJS) For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
Luke 10:19 (KJS) Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

He kept telling me to wait

(Isai 40:31 (KJS) But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint. )

and in meditating on that verse, I also came to:

Psal 27:14 (KJS) Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

So, what was I doing? My soul was disquieted…cast down, despairing!

Psal 42:11 (KJS) Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God.

And God says to me:

Isai 41:10 (KJS) Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
2Tim 1:7 (KJS) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

As an aside, I have been struggling with many health concerns. So, here I have God’s promise to

  1. renew my strength
  2. mount up with wings as eagles
  3. run, not be weary
  4. walk, not faint
  5. strengthen my heart
  6. my countenance shall be healthy through Him
  7. strengthen ME
  8. help ME
  9. uphold me with his right hand
  10. give me power, love and a sound mind

All of these promises spoke to specific items of prayer that I have had, that had burdened me down, causing me to believe that I was not capable of attaining the certain high standard.

I’m going to do this in sections…but God gave me a battle plan that may encourage some of you. Take it one part at a time!

Christi’s Bible Study Page

Graphics by Free Bible Studies

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Comfort From the Comforter –

Let me share something what the Lord led me to do, as I was in an MRI machine. I had meant to choose a verse to meditate on….but was met there by friends to stay with my son…and had not chosen one yet.

As I lay in the machine, with many strange noises, The Lord brought Ps 23 to mind.
Here’s how He did it:
The Lord (this is one of the acrostics He gave me)
L – oving
O– mnipotant
R – uling
D – ivine

IS
I AM that I AM, eternal, without beginning or end

MY
I was predestined and ordained to be elect,
He knows the plans He has for me!
He knew me before the foundation of the earth,
before I was formed in my mother’s womb

SHEPHERD
My sheep hear my voice and follow me (yes Lord, I will follow)
~ Saviour, Like a shepherd lead me…..

I SHALL NOT WANT
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
My God shall provide all my needs according to His riches in Glory
If I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (even more of Him!)

Do you get the idea? He gave me a few more hymns and spiritual songs to sing, along with other verses. We got through to the still waters (Be still and know that I am God, <well, I didn’t have much choice…I had to lie still!>). He ministered to me for the whole 1/2 hour …..all to comfort me, and to keep my mind on Him while they did the MRI.

Where ever, or when ever we find ourselves in need of comfort, He will meet us, and bring the word that we have hidden in our heart to comfort us. And, He even works in us to glorify His name! He is so Awesome!

May you dwell in the secret place of the Most High, and hide under the shadow of the Almighty……(Ps 91)

(written 2000 or before)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #20 – watch for signs of dehydration

WE NEED WATER!!!
I laid out the seriousness of the need for water in my post “Water, Water, Water!”

I have trouble recognizing that I am losing water.
Oh, the sweat the pours off my body is an irritation, so I just wear a bandana to keep it out of my eyes!

Sweating is a good thing…it cleanses the body…but it also takes the water, AND electrolytes OUT of the body. And the body needs electrolytes and water to keep things in balance!
What are the signs? The University of Arkansas lists these signs:

MILD:

  • flushed face
  • very thirsty
  • weakness
  • headache
  • cramping in arms and legs
  • dry, warm skin(no sweating)
  • crying with few or no tears
  • dizziness
  • small amounts of dark yellow urine

We have been given the water of the Word to keep us hydrated….but here are symptoms of being dehydrated from the water of the word:

  • flushed face – easily embarrassed by your recent behavior. Ezra 9:6
  • very thirsty – seeking something – Isaiah 55:1
  • weakness – from no time in God’s presence – Psalm 6:2
  • headache – no peace from activities – Psalm 7:16
  • cramping in arms and legs – No strength to DO for God Eze 7:17
  • dry, warm skin(no sweating) – life has ebbed away  Ez 37:2
  • crying with few or no tears – no remorse for sins – Eph 4:19
  • dizziness – playing in multiple playgrounds – James 1:8
  • small amounts of dark yellow urine – intensify sinful acts – Eph 5:3-5

If not taken care of…dehydration leads to death.

MODERATE TO SEVERE:

  • FAINTING
  • SEVERE MUSCLE CRAMPS
  • BLOATED STOMACH
  • DEEP AND RAPID BREATHING
  • POOR SKIN ELASTICITY
  • SUNKEN EYES
  • CONVULSIONS

Moderate to severe dehydration includes death.  It is best to deal with dehydration when you see the early signs.

If Spiritual Dehydration is not taken care of…it can lead to spiritual death.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #19 Water, Water, Water!

We need water!

SanFran 1998

San Francisco 1998 - a lovely moment watching water

On How Stuff Works, I asked, How much water is there on the earth?

There’s a whole lot of water on Earth! Something like 326,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons (326 million trillion gallons) of the stuff (roughly 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 liters) can be found on our planet.

I wanted to know how much water makes up our bodies. At Wikipedia, I found out that:

In medicine, body water is 90 to 94 percent of the water content of the human body. A significant fraction of the human body is water.

The University of Arkansas provided this summary about the importance of water:

You can live as long as six weeks without food, but you couldn’t survive more than a week without water. Water or fluids that contain water fill virtually every cell and the spaces between them in the body. Water accounts for approximately 60 to 70 percent of the total body weight in a normal adult, making it the most abundant constituent of the human body. In terms of volume, the total body water in a man of average weight (70 kg or 154 lbs) is roughly 40 L (10.6 gallons).

Of course, as with any science, they differ with the previous amount that makes up our bodies – from 90 – 94 %(which did seem a bit high) to 60 – 70%. I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but between 60 and 94% of our body is made up of water!

Author note: The University of Arkansas article, Water-Drink Up is excellent info on the importance of water – during all of this heat, please read this and be careful!

aT A yAHOO Answer spot, I got this wonderful breakdown of our body’s make up!

Here is a summary of the common molecules found in humans:

Molecule……….Mass %…Molecule %
Water…………….65% ………98.73 %
Other Inorganic…1.5% …..0.74 %
Lipid………………12% ……….0.475 %
Other Organic….0.4% …….0.044 %
Protein…………..20% ……….0.011 %
RNA………………1.0% …….3 x 10-5 %
DNA………………0.1% …….3 x 10-11 %

By weight, we are 65% water, 20% protein, 12% fats, and a few incidentals on top of that. By number of molecules, we are pretty much entirely water.

Of course there’s individual variation, but the bigger factor is exactly what you are counting and how – by molecule count, there’s less than 2% difference between a person and a glass of water!

Symptoms of Dehydration –

Dehydration symptoms generally become noticeable after 2% of one’s normal water volume has been lost. Initially, one experiences thirst and discomfort, possibly along with loss of appetite and dry skin. This can be followed by constipation. Athletes may suffer a loss of performance of up to 30%[6] and experience flushing, low endurance, rapid heart rates, elevated body temperatures, and rapid onset of fatigue.

I did find the seriousness of dehydration.

Untreated severe dehydration may result in seizures, permanent brain damage, or death.

WATER = LIFE

It is nice that there are many, many places that will tell you how much water you need to drink, and most of them are selling water filters! The point? Clean water is BEST!

On the Clean Water Blog, there is a summary of the historical effects on water.

For Homeschoolers!!!Exploring the Environment has a quick read on the importance of clean water, and may have study unit of the hydrosphere.

Many of the world organizations, and the missionary organizations go in to a place, and the first thing is to provide drinking water. Even one of our favorite charities, Compassion, has a program to provide clean water, and many articles about how clean water has ministered to the communities in which Compassion serves.

WATER = LIFE

There is so much to write about, when writing about water.  Importance, cleanliness, wonderful aspects, and the ability to take it for granted.

I have been VERY guilty of taking water for granted.

A few years ago, I became electrolyte imbalanced because of performing a practice sprint Triathlon. I didn’t do it for time, I did it for completion so I had time to take care of things.   I was maintaining track of my blood glucose.  I was drinking  1- 20 oz. G2 between each event in an attempt to replace electrolytes and water.  Apparently, something got messed up, because after completing this mini triathlonI just wasn’t ‘right’.  Because we didn’t know the dangers of a diabetic over exerting in exercise, and the ease at which electrolytes can be washed out of a system…I crashed.  The beautiful water that was sustaining me had poured out of my pores, and pulled potassium, calcium, phosphorus and other important elements out of my system.  I became suicidally depressed and almost lost my life. I spent several days in ICU with IV electrolytes and bags of water being pumped into my body.

WATER = LIFE

 

Compassion International – Water of Life from Compassion International on Vimeo.

 
This will be a multi part post….This is the importance of water. And, if YOU have access to clean water, Thank God, and Praise Him! And consider helping someone else who does not.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #18 – Stop and smell the roses

watercolor roses

smell the roses

I was reminded today of a post I wrote about embracing minimalism.

I had started a series at the beginning of the year called the First 100 days. 
I was not able to keep up with a blog a day for 100 days.   I need to go back and count how many of that series I DID get written. 
I quit, because I couldn’t keep up, 
I couldn’t keep up because I did not plan well enough for expected events.
The expected events had to do with minimalizing our life!
Very possibly, I should have MINIMALIZED my expectations of being able to write, even while packing(expected), physical therapy(unexpected), and travel(very happy event!).

In the post, The First 100 days – day 63….I wrote about minimalism. I quoted froma book, and recommended a blog post, A Short Guide to Consumer Disobedience..
I seriously need to read that specific blog EVERY DAY.

What does this have to do with stop and smell the roses? Sometimes in our lives, God gives us roses…and we look at them, nod, maybe even take a whiff, but we don’t go back and enjoy them. Days or weeks later, we walk by and notice that all the roses are gone, and wilted, and we wonder about the time we lost. We didn’t lose time, we gave it to something else…not the roses.

A dear friend, Trisch, reminisced about her daughters growing up in her blog “They Grow Up To Fast”. Our children, our relationships and our faith are roses, flowers in our garden of life, and we need to remember, that while we walk along, we need to take time to stop and smell the roses!

Butterfly

Drink from the flowers

I referenced another of Francine Jay’s blogs, “The Year of the Butterfly”.

The small butterfly
moves as though unburdened by
the world of desire

-Haiku by Kobayashi Issa
Today marks the first day of the Chinese New Year, which according to their lunar calendar is the Year of the Rabbit.

Well, I’d like to propose a special New Year for us minimalists: let’s make this the Year of the Butterfly.

Because I was ‘rushing ahead’ on my walk…writing down plenty of stuff about how I am growing…I had missed one of the roses God had given me at the beginning of the year.

“The year of the Butterfly”

A year, where the caterpillar turns into a beautiful Butterfly.
Her reference to her own book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide is a beautiful explaination of being a butterfly in the area of caring for the earth:

“As minsumers, we want to do the opposite. Instead of being bulls, we strive to be butterflies—living as lightly, gracefully, and beautifully as possible. We want to flit through life with little baggage, unencumbered by excess stuff. We want to leave the Earth and its resources whole and intact, as if we alighted just for a moment and barely touched them.”

I find this concept very much in keeping with the Genesis command to care for the earth in Genesis 1&2. In fact, the Bible sort of implies that God created man to till the earth….
Gen 2:5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and [there was] not a man to till the ground.
Gen 2:7 And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Chief Seattle said “Take only memories, leave only footprints”

As we walk along our path, we have a responsibility to care for what has been given us.
Sometimes, it’s people, and the relationships we have with them
Sometimes it’s beauty – like a rose or a butterfly.
Sometimes it’s wisdom – written in a blog that touches your heart.

This year is not over – so even though I forgot my commitment to make it the Year of the Butterfly…I still have time.
In addition to time before me, I have changed over this year, and I now choose to work on being more like that Butterfly!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Guest Blogger – Trisch – What about Job?

My friend Trisch shared this today, in light of several of us having multiple crises in our lives.  I asked if I could put it here…I want to keep this thought around forever! At least, while the internet exists! ~C

I used to wonder how Job did so well then spent 30+ chapters whining!

Almost 7 years ago, when Dallas nearly was killed in his bad accident (caused by a driver on cocaine and marijuana), I found out and understood Job better!

Worship is just what you’re saying, C(another person’s comment).  Saying, “I might not understand, I might not like it or feel good, but I believe You are still on the Throne, and although it doesn’t make sense in my world, You have a greater plan and it will be beautiful in Your plan.”

We can’t make sense of things here, because we’re seeing them temporally and through finite eyes.  We need His “eyes” to see the Eternal and the infinite.  By worship we say I trust You in this.

Just Friday the Lord showed me how I had a small piece of my heart still hardened from one of my miscarriages that was almost 22 years ago.  I felt “dead” emotionally.  At the time I just thought it was due to the loss, the hormones, etc.  It was right before Christmas, 1989, and of course, right before Jessica’s birthday (24th).   It seemed that although I got over it and have even asked God’s forgiveness for my bitterness over the years, I reserved a little piece for me–walled it off.  Deep down was the “how could God be good when we’ve given Him total control of our fertility and He keeps taking babies to Heaven?” (I’d lost 4 by that point…..little did I know….)

Friday morning I asked Him to show me, why. Why was there this little “dead spot” within me.  He had already told me a year ago my struggles were with His Sovereignty, especially since the last miscarriage (almost 3 years ago) and the unexpected death of my mom.

Ladies, when I asked Him that question, I had just been worshiping Him.  I have felt Him drawing me more and more into worship.  Worship as the main part of my prayer time.  Worship before petition, intercession, supplication.  Praise and worship.  I’m using Psalms, praying one Psalm a day and sometimes even half a one. Really slowing it down!

I read over the names of God in a little booklet I have–several for each day.  To remind me of Who He *really* is.

I’ve been giving a lot of things up to Him, my mom being one of them, and I thought I had given all our losses of babies to Him, too.  So when I asked Him that question, really wanting to know, really ready to give it all up to Him, that is what He showed me.

“Thou art good, and doest good; teach me Thy statutes.”  Psalm 119:68

The night of Dallas’ accident, when I couldn’t go to sleep in the ICU waiting lounge, I read my Bible and this verse stood out.

That is what I told Him when He showed me my heart Friday morning.  YOU are good.  EVERYTHING You do is GOOD. Whether I understand it, see the reason for it, like it, whatever, I will speak Truth in my heart.

I can’t trust Him if I don’t speak the Truth about Who He is in my heart.  That has really come out a
lot in the past week in my quiet time.

When I make the “faith declaration”, as our pastor calls it, it moves His heart.  David made a lot of faith declarations when things weren’t exactly going great!

The feelings come later.

I’ve  been making these declarations and feeling a bit freer each time, but Friday it was like I realized that *I* was the one holding the chains on!   He had already unlocked them….I needed to speak the Truth to my heart that He is trustworthy, even in tragedy, even in losses upon losses…..then I see that I can walk out of this self-made prison and be FREE and ALIVE!

I can’t begin to explain the LIFE I feel in my heart since Friday!

I am not saying I’m perfected now and will never sin again and not trust Him! 😛  I know it is a constant process. Remember Otto Konig?  How he thought he’d learned the lesson of the “pineapples” and then he realized that was first grade, and now he was in second grade?!   I think that is how it is. We learn it, then another layer is peeled back.  We confess, make a faith declaration of trust and worship, another layer peeled back.

I want to deal with the flesh, because I love Him.   Not to get anything from Him other than the openness of relationship with Him.

I can’t make anyone else change, but I can worship Him and pray Scripture for them (that way I don’t pray my own will!).

I am realizing that I am to be lifting Him up, and HE does the drawing of all men.  So the first place I need to lift Him up is in my own heart–to worship Him.

I am reminded that there is Eternity to live for–there are rewards and glories there that I can’t begin to fathom!  I’ve recently gotten tiny, tiny glimpses of the glory that awaits me there–of course Jesus Himself is enough of a reason!  But 14 children with Him….losing both my parents before I am even 50 years old…..the accidents, auto-immune disorders, Dad’s disease robbing me of his relationship for 4 years before he died….

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Well, I’m rambling, but I thought it interesting that this came up in light of what He’s been showing
me in my own life lately!

~Trisch
Trisch writes a blog called “Never a Dull Moment”
~ I commented to this thread ~

I have found in my experience that every time I fall down and worship, I have the right response to a situation.  I may be able to fake a right response sometimes.  I have gotten to the point where I am able to say to Jim, when I am ‘out of sorts’ about something, “I need some alone time with Jesus on this one before I say something I might regret.”

“We enter into HIS presence with praise and thanksgiving – and in HIS presence we find the joy and the strength to deal with the world – which definitely IS NOT in His presence!”

Thank you, Trisch!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #17 What if they TELL you, ‘You Can’t Walk’?

I almost titled this “Step 8 Part 2” because, this sort of comes on the heels of that work in my life.

Step # 8 What if you can’t walk?
At that time(oh so long ago), I was struggling with the what if’s.
Yesterday, I was faced with this conversation with my Dr.
“So, if I have the surgery, what is the downside?”
– if it fails, we will need to fuse your ankle
“So, if this progresses, what will happen?”
-if it collapses, we will need to fuse your ankle
“Fuse my ankle, just what does that mean?”
-you could walk, but you won’t have much mobility

I checked out this stuff online, as every 21st century patient does….and the explanation of Avascular Necrosis on Mercy MD’s site says:
” This is the range of up and down motion (called dorsiflexion and plantarflexion) of the ankle following the total ankle replacement after a fracture of the talus associated with AVN.”

So, I asked “would I ever be able to walk a 5k again?”
Dr. B looked very serious at me, and said, “I’d like to say yes, but the truth is, I just don’t know.”

The “standard of care” is to stay off the ankle/affected area to allow it to heal. In my heart of hearts, I don’t feel that is right for me.
I can use a boot to support my ankle…but the standard of care is non weight bearing – and I just don’t feel right about that for me.
So, I was willing to go through surgery…since the other surgeries on my other foot went so well.
“This is not the same.”

Avascular Necrosis – dead bone from lack of blood.
Osteopenia – not replacing bone
Christi’s prognosis – not a lot of hope to get bone replaced into the dead area, if I’m losing it in the live area! So, why am I so gung ho on traumatizing the good bone to hopefully regenerate the dead bone?

History lesson on MCW –
In 1978, while on convalescent leave from the Navy, a chiropractor measured my legs, and found that one was 21cm longer than the other.
In 1981, Jim, newly Baptised in the Holy Spirit, and wanting to pray for my healing, prayed for my leg to grow. As the leg moved down the towel we placed under it to catch the ‘annointing’ kitchen oil…it was evident that my leg grew. When I stood up, we could see my hips level in the mirror, and he reached down to kiss me, and missed my mouth, as it had moved up…about 21cm.
In 1989, I was seeing a chiropractor for my neck, and he did a full body xray, as chiropractors in that day were prone to do. He mentioned a boney growth on the lower part of my spine. Jim asked him if that was something typical for someone that had one leg longer than the other. “Yes, to brace the spine due to the angle, but Christi doesn’t have one leg shorter than the other.” Jim proceeded to tell him about that night in 1981! That Dr. B said “then you ought to get to praying to get rid of that boney thing…”.
I have had multiple spine xrays and MRI’s and no one has asked about any boney thing on my spine again.

The moral of this story? God can cause 21 cm of bone, tissue and all to grow on His command, and when the leftovers aren’t needed, He can cause them to dissolve as well.

So, you may ask, what’s the problem? It’s DEAD bone, not missing leg! Just believe!!!

Ok, so read Step #8 again…I’ve been struggling with allowing myself to accept that God may not want me to walk again.
IF GOD DOES NOT WANT ME TO WALK AGAIN – I NEED TO BE FINE WITH IT!

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:

Sounds spiritual, huh? I just got smacked in the face with the second half of this verse:

Job 13:15b but I will maintain mine own ways before him. (KJV)
NIV I will surely defend my ways to his face.
NLT I am going to argue my case with him.
NAS Nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him.

Youngs Literal Translation for Job 13:15
Lo, He doth slay me — I wait not! Only, my ways unto His face I argue.

Wow….where does that leave me? This is one of the discourses that leads to Job being reprimanded for thinking he can speak against the whirlwind of God’s Omniscience!!! As a side note…God seems to have been big enough to handle Job’s questions…and I know HE’S still big enough for my questions.

So – is there anywhere for this fatalistic mentality?
The three boys…thrown into the fiery furnace!

Dan 3:18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we [are] not careful to answer thee in this matter.
Dan 3:17 If it be [so], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver [us] out of thine hand, O king.
Dan 3:18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

Ok, wait a minute. No one is asking me to bow down to or serve their gods. This is not a situation with persecution written on it!

What is it?
When I could not walk in the Navy – God gave me Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint

It was a song from a Christian youth group that held my heart through bootcamp.
It has been a large part of much of my testimony.
And it is my life verse.

It is the basis for this series – 100 Spiritual Walking Steps.
So what am I going to do?
I can’t argue with my own post…I need to find the basis for a solid foundation(other foundation can no man lay than that is laid which is Jesus Christ) – and WALK IT OUT.

Bill Gotherd once said, in a seminar, If God can use you more out of a wheelchair, then nothing can keep you in that wheelchair. If God can use your more IN that wheelchair, then nothing anyone can do can get you out, nor would you want to.

I think God wants me to walk.
I am sure that this promise (Is 40:31) has been a guiding force (solid rock) through out my life.
I don’t expect to be mounting up with wings as eagles…but..
renew my strength? Yes
walk and not be weary? I hope so
run and not faint? He did that for me in the Navy to pass the PT test.

So, what’s my problem?

Heb 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I HOPE that He wants to make me walk.
I KNOW that HE can make me walk.
FAITH is what bridges those two together.
and right now, my faith is a little weak….

Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things [are] possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

I do HAVE faith – Jesus says so!Well, actually, he says that IF we had faith the grain of a mustard seed…..and in Romans it talks about the measure of faith given to every man….the point is….I have been given faith….Eph 2:8 – faith is a gift!

It needs to grow – like the mustard seed….
and when it is weak, well…
They that WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH – OF FAITH????

If God healed my leg once, or however many times…has HE changed or have I?

There is NO benefit in surgery…or non weight bearing exercise according to the included article…they both end in the same unacceptable thing – fused ankle.
I am confessing at this point that it is easier for me to believe that God will heal the dead bone than to reconstruct an ankle with steel nails and screws in it.

that said – I am confessing here…on August 5, 2011…that I believe that God will restore the dead bone, and not permit my ankle to collapse.
I want to believe that I will be walking 5ks again.
I want to believe that I will be able to do a sprint triathlon – this time with a crowd – again.
I want to believe that I can walk into and out of the Grand Canyon.
I want to believe that I can walk a marathon…well, that I could….not that I would at 4 mph of walking….

To that end, I will take off my boot, and go walking up to the pool today…and have fun.

So – what if they tell you, ‘you can’t walk’? check it out with the Creator first…HE may have other things to say.
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Depression like Driving Rain

Depression comes like the darkness of night
slowly blinding, and taking your sight.
First it feels gray
in the midst of the day
then it feels thick
like mud with a stick.
for help you reach out
and to others give shout
but the sucking is on
and assistance is nought.

Darkness falls down
scary things all around
Listening for the sound
of one on solid ground
Comes driving rain
cleansing all stains
Lightning strikes again
and illuminates the pain

I kneel before the King
to whom I used to sing
I wonder where His wing
to shelter me from pain?

Muscles grow in pain,
flowers grow in rain,
Sunshine brings the heat
that on the earth does beat.
The rain will wash away
the pains they cannot stay
renewal is my way
neath my wing for you to stay.
Neath the shadow you do sing
and give praises to your King
the scary things are lies
and demons in disguise
I’ll cover you anew
just as you ask me to
give up this fear of yours
and let my love run it’s course.

I love you more than you can know
but my rain disturbs you so
will you let me love you true
and do the things I do?
Let me pour out grace like rain
Let me see thoswe pains again
Let me show you truth alone
and remove those stumbling stones

You are my chosen girl
I know your hair, your curls
I made you as you are
and I think you are a star
You love me totally
and your heart I truly see
Just look up and you will see
you are snuggled next to Me.
I allow only the pain
that will make you strong again
and the darkness that you see
is abiding deep in me
My wings provide the shadow
against the heat of your sorrow
As you snuggle deeper in
I protect you from those sins
those things that make you hurt
those things that burn
those tears that do surround
that mucky mirey ground

Come to me
my precious one
draw near to me
within the Son
Night will pass
and day will dawn
those horrors will soon
be all gone

Your mind will be renewed
and I can wash you through
My grace will set you free
My love will give you wings
And then again you’ll sing
‘neath the shadow of My wings.

written as given – 8/4/2011

To those that read this…this is my heart…please be gentle.
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 67:3 Because you are my help, I will sing beneath the shadow of Your wings.