“I didn’t get all 31 days done in Wisdom and Praise”
I wanted to see a nice complete list of a month in a glance of all of the Psalms and Proverbs in one place so that others can utilize this tool. I missed a couple of days (1 day totally, 1 day not quite right because of not having the vision, 2 days just have video and 2 days have nothing – 6 out of 31). Here’s the thoughts that have gone through my head:
I’m a failure
someone is going to miss a day because of me
people will know that I took some days off
I didn’t put in enough effort
The world is going to end because I wasn’t faithful
Here’s how I’ve talked to myself and “Let Go”, I have checked the facts:
I’m a failure
– everyone fails – get over yourself
at least you tried
you got further than if you hadn’t tried
someone is going to miss a day because of me
The days are listed with the Psalms and Proverbs – they can read it on their own.
Reading these chapters isn’t bound to some date – they can grab any of them
People are on their own to do their own Bible study – you just provided a tool(yes, incomplete right now)
people will know that I took some days off
and very few people work 31 days in a row
God rested after 7 days
yes, His work was perfect and complete, but you aren’t God
Why does it matter what people think?
because I need affirmation and validation
but I need to look to Jesus for that.
I didn’t put in enough effort
You put in the effort that you had, with rest, eating, and spending time with friends
You kept up sleep hygiene, until tonight, and even participated in a social activity – this is balanced.
The world is going to end because I wasn’t faithful
THIS is catastrophizing
THIS is a lie
This isn’t actually a thought, I just thought it fit for drama.
I need to remind myself that as long as I don’t put something between me and God, I’m not sinning, and therefore I am probably OK.
I need to remind myself that God chose an imperfect person to share His word, and that He didn’t expect perfection.
I need to remind myself that the ONE person that believes in me is God through Jesus Christ, filling me with the Holy Spirit. It’s hard, but when it comes down to it, can I settle for the validation and affirmation from the One I believe created the Universe? I’ll get back to you on that one.
But, here’s my letting Go, starting out February, with another Bible Study Project for the month. And here’s my promise to use grace and love, and maybe a little bit of mercy to apply to myself moving forward. I choose Love, Joy, Peace, Patience…you get the point.
How about you? Do you have a song that fits? share it in the comments.
~~~~~~~
Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
M. Christine Wildman
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
If you want a great book to help you prepare for, and recover with, please check out Healing and Hope by Christine Carter. Tell her Christi sent you!
Here is my latest video to the Wildberry Patch group on facebook…
GREAT NEWS!
The Cancer is gone
the Kidney is healing
the kidney is working like a healthy kidney! YAY!
With that said and done…What was the journey from part six, to this one, the finale?
Well, there was the struggle with confusion with the pain and doctor’s instructions, as I share in Pain/Peace.
There is so many things that I;ve learned on this journey, and I’m still learning, because the wound site for the JP Tube is still an open wound. My skin is bleeding from the tape used to keep the bandages on it for the last, going on 6 weeks. BUT GOD!
God is our creator, and He made us in His image (just read Genesis 1 and 2), so He infused us with creativity! Once the major drainage stopped…I was waiting for an answer…and he has given me one that is giving my skin relief. Also, someone was given creativity for the super special sensitive skin tape…when I have to use tape, I use that now!
That said, I’ve also learned that I need to set boundaries…for myself and others.
What? you say? Boundaries? Christi, of what do you speak??? HAHAHA!
Yes, I have to realize that without that tube in me, I do not have the continual pull on skin that caused sheering pain, and could drive me to my knees! Now, I just get tired. And some base pain from the muscles that have been in rest mode for 6 weeks! First day…I walked out to the garden, and into the garden, to my daughters house, and then back to my herb garden.
This was after I straightened up my own office… yep…putting things away, bending and reaching.
OW! Boundaries…who knew?
I’m going to finish up this series by sharing what I’ve learned, by going through the final chapters in this book. Christine Carter has really been a Godsend to help me take this journey step by step!
Chapter 8 – Own it, Laugh a Little and Get Out.
“Here’s the thing: you are physically broken right now.
You might not have showered for days, and the stench you exude proves it”
Personally, I lived with baby wipes and those neat cloths that hospital gave me to bathe with.
I did wear deodorant.
My hair was always up…because if it was down, folks would know just how dirty it was!
Showering was a torment…and the last shower before the tube came out seemed to almost pull the stitch that held the tube in out of the skin. I mean, seriously…who thought ONE stitch would keep this tube connected to me…ME, the one that hates to sit still so God has allowed some physical ailments to MAKE me sit still. I was afraid that I’d torn something inside…I was afraid I’d caused infection…I was afraid. Period.
This chapter helped me to NOT compare myself to other able bodied people, or even others going through physical trials. I needed to OWN IT…this was the current NORMAL for me…and the only way to get through this valley was to MOVE through it! Not exercise type moving…but, mentally moving.
GO OUT – yes, I chose some opportunities to go out.
With my husband for our anniversary
With a friend to Olive Garden, and a few others places.
Do you know what I struggled with?
The stupid JP Tube showing as a bump under my clothes…no matter how bulky the clothing was.
I didn’t want anyone to look at me and wonder “what’s that under her shirt/dress?”
“You need to be okay with where you’re at right now”
I wasn’t…and I was vain!
God spoke to my heart…how do you respond to someone you see with a catheter? Oxygen? any other health related addition?
“Lord, I would look at them, not the appliance…let them know they are human, and I see them!”
Then humble yourself to learn how they truly feel, and be thankful for such tools for your healing.
This all happened in a matter of seconds, between getting out of the car, and stepping up on the curb.
Just to really drive it home…when the tube was removed, Jim was going to take me out for dinner. As I got out of the car, I started walking into the restaurant, and noticed that the side of my dress where the tube was had gotten soaked with bodily fluid. The little bandage the doctor had put on was in no way ready for the flow…and my dress caught the rest.
“oh no, let’s just go home!”
Ever supportive, Jim started to turn around, and he said Ok…but I remembered this earlier lesson….
“No – I’ll go into the bathroom and see what I can do…and it’s not so big I can’t cover it with my purse. Let’s go in”
Sometimes, when we are given lessons, we get a retest later, to see if we were really listening!
I’m thankful for the mornings I’ve spent on my swing.
And, I’ve found that if I smile at someone…they don’t notice the JP tube sticking out of my shirt, the wet stain on the side of my dress, or the wheelchair that I’m in. They smile back.
I also planned from the beginning to enjoy two FB shows…
Returning the Favor with Mike Rowe
Drybar comedy show
These have helped me laugh, and rejoice in others outside of myself.
Chapter 9 – Prayer and Spirituality
“Religion/spirituality is a significant part of many people’s lives. This is one area that should not be neglected, especially now. …
For me, Christ is the only answer and true source of peace”
Christine allows that there are other faiths that one may be a part of, and encourages all to seek their faith in times such as these, but clearly speaks to her faith as a Christian.
This may be the first time God has had you all to Himself
Not quite true…but, often true that I’m too busy to just be still.
This has been a learning about being still…knowing that HE is God…
declaring that HE is God
acknowledging that I AM NOT God!
Here are a few of my lessons learned:
My worth is based on WHOSE I am, not who I am
asking for help is part of life
Saying No can be healthy
Speak LIFE -scriptures – over my life, body, husband, children, friends…SPEAK LIFE not death
My messenger group of prayer partners…I would get an encouragement every day!
And a huge change in my view point: Let It Go…Let them go!
Some people are in my life for a time
others for eternity.
let those that want to leave, leave.
If I have tried to make sure I didn’t offend, and gotten a response that I did not, then…
It’s not personal, so don’t take it personal.
Seriously – I’ve spend so much wasted time worrying over folks that I thought I had a connection with that just dropped me like a hot potato.
Some that I thought would be prayer partners with me that didn’t even want to receive notifications of the surgery(and they had asked for them).
Some I thought were my best friends, that decided that a hurt, misunderstanding or whatever was far more important than restoring our friendship.
If I have done what I could do…I cannot change their minds. Here’s the Bible on my responsibility:
Matthew 5:23-24 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
23 So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
There are more scriptures.
I cannot force anyone to forgive me, I can only apologize, and try to make amends.
If I don’t know what I’ve done, I can’t fix it…and in that case, again, I need to let it go, I need to let them go.
Christine has a great outline for prayer in this chapter, with fill in spaces for one to write them in.
Chapter 10 – A new Day
“Wherever you are on this healing journey, I want to promise you something:
There will be a day when you are done healing.”
I’m not there yet…but, I’m closer than I was 6 weeks ago!
“you will treasure what you discovered during the long, quiet moments of reflection, dreaming and digging deep to find passion, purpose, and new ideas for the road ahead.”
That is what these surgery scuttlebutt stories are all about.
I have restored my faith in Jesus Christ.
I have remembered my calling to write a book.
I have received the love of many, virtual and physical as I’ve healed.
and I rejoice in the way the Lord has met me on each step!
“Some things need to be broken, opened and taken apart to let light in.
Look for the light, my friend. It is shining somewhere in you.”
Amen!
Chapter 11 – And another thing
“After you are all healed and life has returned to its rapid pace, you may still have those lovely little reminders of this difficult season:
that twinge of pain comes along now and again, or maybe your arm doesn’t quite boast the strength it once did….”
I have a 12 inch scar now….and no idea how the JP tube hole will heal.
I have a kidney that I need to treat carefully…I need to seriously consider my diet options.
I have muscles that are achy…and, there are a whole set of side muscles that have been cut that will not like doing side bends, or anything else!
This is my new normal.
And, I thank God for it.
If I had not gone through all the stuff to get to Cleveland Clinic….The End is Near explains the journey…I would not even have this kidney!
I’ve learned to rejoice in hearing the birds.
I’ve learned to laugh with my grandchildren, and my husband, and my friends.
I’ve learned that I can love others from my bed because I live in the age of social media!
I’ve learned that others love me.
And even more so, I’ve learned again, that Jesus loves me!
Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
I’m home! It’s been over two weeks since I’ve shared anything…and I wanted to share the update! Surgery was July 17th. I was in the hospital for 7 days.
If you don’t know what scuttlebutt is, please check out
And then we went exploring.
In the rooms that were for banquets and balls, there were details that were amazing, but when you stepped back, you could see the whole picture! Go to the website and look at the beautiful weddings!
The next day would be my surgery. This whole surgery scuttlebutt series has been how I could be focused upon the minutia of the issue, but instead, I have been encouraged to widen my focus to see the larger picture, and in that larger picture, I have seen the hand of God.
When I widen my focus, then, when I narrow down into the details, I can see God’s hand, even in the little things.
I was unaware of doing this, until I read chapter 7 – Adjust your lens.
Christine had been encouraging me to be intentional in my healing…via the book.
We must be intentional with our thoughts and expand our vision to include the full scenery we are leaving out.
Here are a few of the things that happened while in the hospital:
Our daughter Faith was able to be at the hospital with me because of a scheduling boon with her mother-in-law, making it possible to have the children babysat. She braided my hair after the surgery. Big Picture? LOVE!
A dear friend came to visit – and one night, it was so perfect because Jim was exhausted and he felt free to go to the hotel, since our friend Suzanne was there with me! The Big Picture? God will provide for our needs!
Jim’s cancer treatment got messed up and he had to have some medicine shipped, and it arrived the day after my surgery. Jim and I had forgotten my CPAP for recovery in the hospital. The day of the surgery, our daughter Faith had been asked to bring it, but she forgot. We were able to not make this detail a bit thing. God took these details, and the big picture was that Jim drove back home for the CPAP, was able to pick up his medicine and continue his treatment while staying at the hotel near the hospital! The Big Picture? God had it under control, with all of our frailties in mind, and the possibility that Jim would not have driven home for the medicine except that he needed to pick up the CPAP!
My first roommate was apparently a very angry person. I barely remember. Jim remembers her well. He was trying to figure out how he was going to get me transferred so that I was not with her yelling angry presence. She decided to get up, pack, and leave AMA – he says she walked out of the room, yelling, someone get here and take this IV out of my arm…I’m going home! Big Picture? I know that I felt bad for her, and was praying in my drugged state, but God had already made sure that I would have a peaceful room…the woman made her own choice to leave.
I had two other roommates during the 7 days, and as they were preparing to leave, they came over to my bedside and sat down and visited with me. I was drugged, so I have no idea why they became so friendly. the Big Picture? When you pray that you will be Christ like, sharing Christ’s love no matter what, people are drawn to you. Jim says that my character was gracious, compassionate and apologetic for bothering the nurses, even drugged.
I finally discovered that if you can broaden your view – expanding the moments when your vision seems stuck – a massive shift in perspective happens.
When I think about my view, I think about this little house that God has provided us.
Out my bedroom window
Out the bay window….
On the swing and from the swing!
There are parks, and places that I can go to immerse myself in beauty. (these were taken on our 38th anniversary, less than one mile from our home!)
There are many other beautiful views…
My grandchildren, who love to come and say hi.
My friends on the internet that check on me daily, from all over the world.
I just have to look outside of myself – see the big picture, and then, I can drill down the focus and see the beauty of a butterfly, a vine ripe tomato plucked by my grandson, or a marigold that he brings me to cheer me up.
Looking at the big picture reminds me that
Even though there is pain…there is no infection.
Even though there is pain, there is no cancer.
Even though there is limited mobility, THERE IS MOBILITY!
The choice is to be grateful, to acknowledge my blessings, and then, my heart is content!
Isn’t that like looking at the stars and seeing HIS handiwork….
and after reading the whole of Psalm 19, I drill down to MY response:
Psalm 19:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
Part of adjusting my lens also deals with my mental illnesses – depression, PTSD, and anxiety. When I am in a ‘normal’ state, I feel – MUCH.
But I have been drugged…to help me not feel the pain.
I appreciate the “not feeling” pain, as much as the meds were able to help, but this also effects my emotional state, which is tied to the mental illnesses.
One of the concerns for this journey has been the chemical upset that the various medications will cause to my mental health. Even if one didn’t have mental illnesses, the normal mental person would have struggles with depression and being homebound and such. Therefore, we took measures to insure that I would not succumb to the enemy of my mind.
Just the other day, I read a blog by a dear lady that is also struggling with mental illnesses, and writes about her struggle. She opened my eyes to one of the things that I was experiencing…numbness. What is normal for us is to FEEL – BIG. Take that away, and we don’t feel alive. This can bring in some other issues, for me, such as cutting and bingeing…just to feel. These are some of my enemies.
Katie wrote Wait in the Middle, that so clearly explains this strange situation that effects those of us with emotional issues. I encourage you to go read this!
Back to the book, Help and Hope …I prepared.
I saw the big picture – I have illnesses that need medication.
I saw the big problem – without addressing it, I could relapse into suicidal depression.
I made small, detailed plans – meds were laid out for three weeks, photos of joy were put into photo albums, music to encourage was downloaded, a cd player was set up in my bedroom, and my medical providers were aware of the situation.
Have I had thoughts? not of suicide, Praise God – but I’ve started to have a pity party or two…and by being prepared, I was able to stop that party!
Have I gotten down? yes – and I started counting my blessings, because they were all around me…so the enemy couldn’t lie!
Have I had pain? Yes, and I was able to quote verse as things were being taken care of…to mentally handle the pain.
No matter where you find yourself in this journey, there are those that are willing to help!
In Surgery Scuttlebutt, part two, I talked about how I was afraid I’d be alone…and I have not been!
I hope that you have found something in my story to help you in yours. I have one more blog to share with you the various other things that I have learned…please stay tuned!
Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Why write a book about my past? is it relevant? The purpose of this book is to shine a light on Darkness that is in our midst. Children are sexually abused every single day and it is ignored. Currently there’s even political people saying that it is okay for an adult to have sex with a child if a child is consenting. This absolutely blows my mind. How can a 12 month old, 18 month old, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 year old(for me, to age 12) actually know what they’re consenting to in the realm of sexual interactions.?
Think the church is safe? I tried to hide out in the church! Protect my children in the church!
And then there’s the church. Because the church is spotless and pure obviously there is no childhood sexual abuse within here! At least that was the false believe until we saw the Catholic Church go through serious problems with priests and nuns, and then the various Protestant churches, and then even in a group that we were part of that was very very intent on keeping girls and boys apart until marriage, it was exposed that the leader and his brother had had sexual situations with secretaries and children who were entrusted to him in his ministry.
What is my purpose? What is my goal?
I hope that my story can be used to take what has been whispered in Dark Places, in secret and shout it from the rooftops to bring truth and light into that darkness. It is because of knowing this truth and bringing this truth and shining the light of God’s word onto it in my life that I have been able to overcome. I hope, and I pray, that this book will help others to seek out the truth, release themselves from the guilt and shame, and even get to the point that they can forgive their abuser so that they are completely released from the chains of Darkness.
The break through came while I was hospitalized when the memories resurfaced. Yes, there was a memory there for years, like one of those little tags at the back of the shirt that is irritating, but you ignore it.
For those that may wonder – the memories were confirmed by 6 different people – all of whom have gone on to their eternal reward.
Here’s the Summary – created for a writing conference:
My Blackwater Falls Testimony, by M. Christine Wildman
The painting “Blackwater Falls” illustrates the river of my life journey. The river journeys from hidden abuses, to a chaotic childhood and Christian confusion crashing me about in rock strewn rapids of teenage responsibility. I am placed into a precarious life as a woman, with five children, and a marriage on the rocks, and I am propelled towards the waterfall plummet that ends in a violent crash. The onslaught of repressed memories, the rejection from the church and family, and repeated self abuse issues threaten my ability to survive to serve God again.
How does a child handle 13 years of sexual abuse? What does that do to a teen as she looks forward to a future? Can a marriage make it with millions of IEDs lying in wait to destroy every tenet of trust? Can a human being learn to trust a God that allowed such things to happen? And can a suicidal, mentally ill person become whole again?
As I learned to apply scripture to my situations, I learned to be still in the storms, embrace the storms, and even dive into the storms to obtain the nourishment for my recovery. On the other side of the valley of the shadow of death, God is setting up a table for me in the presence of my enemies. It’s my job to walk with Him in the valley, so that I can get to the party!
Here is the painting that came out of me, and helped to set me free:
I’ll make a page to link the updates for this book…and I’d love to have your input!
Hi! Thanks for coming!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
If you want a great book to help you prepare for, and recover with, please check out Help and Hope by Christine Carter. Tell her Christi sent you!
Tomorrow is S-day! my surgery.
In part four, I talked about finding(being led to) our new church, and being blessed by the current sermon series.
I mentioned that I prayed that Pastor Keith would continue for this past Sunday.
AND HE DID!
23 For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
shall say….
and not doubt….but believe
HE SHALL HAVE WHATSOEVER HE SAITH!
Now – this is not a name it claim it thing…been there, done that. Never got the t-shirt! But, I did get burned!
God is bound to His word and His plans…it’s not saying I have a Ferrari and poof – I have a Ferrari….
No – it must line up with the promises that GOD has given us…AND, that the devil wants to steal, kill and destroy!
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Jesus was giving us power – over the enemy! Not to get rich!
we have a choice what goes into our minds AND STAYS!
we do have a choice what WE put into our minds!
Looking at this upcoming surgery..I HAVE A CHOICE!
I can be Christ like or I can be Christi like.
I can serve Christ or I can serve Christi.
Christi needs to be CHRISTi…Christ is greater, i am lesser.
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
Jesus said that I could speak to a mountain, and it would be removed.
I don’t have a mountain that needs to be moved…I have a cyst…a mass…a ‘suspicious’ mass that off the record has been called cancer. (legalese about why they can’t call it cancer without a biopsy, which won’t happen until after the surgery).
Yesterday, as the pastor was preaching about life and death in our tongues…I received a word…I believe…for me.
This preparation for surgery has been very interesting.
FIRST – God waited until the demon of suicide was defeated in my life(well, until I let go of that demon I’d known for many years…sometimes we become familiar with our demons and don’t know how to let go!)
SECOND – God waited until I was settled in with wanting to LIVE! (there is a difference between not wanting to die and wanting to live).
THIRD – God waited until I was ready to give up everything to follow his call – back to Ohio – to Youngstown, Ohio! (seriously, from my hometown, we didn’t have much good to say about Youngstown – and if I was coming back to Ohio, I was expecting to go back to MY hometown)
FOURTH – God timed the whole thing, from Faith’s house, to the timing of finding the mass, to finding the doctor that is the most experienced in the nation with this type of specialized removal of the mass and saving the kidney.
FIFTH – HE BROUGHT ME TO THE CHURCH HE CALLED ME TO 2 YEARS AGO JUST AS THEY ARE ABOUT TO MOVE INTO THE FULFILLMENT OF THE VISION OF A BUILDING…which I was a part of the announcement meeting!( I have to write up an update…because the Lord has orchestrated so much more since April!)
The word I received was to speak to the cyst that it would be removed.
I asked God to heal me…and that took a work of God to get me to the point that I even asked for that!
He didn’t “poof” heal me…and I have experienced that before, but rather, he orchestrated the above steps to get me to this doctor!
If he’d wanted the whole kidney out…he could have just had me do the surgery in January in Florida!
No, HE orchestrated events so that I met THIS doctor, that has THIS skill, and I am here.
I speak to the mass – MOVE!
I speak to the cancer – LEAVE!
I speak to all those that are involved in my surgery and care tomorrow – PEACE – CLARITY – WISDOM
and I speak to the enemy – GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN – YOU HAVE NO PLACE IN THIS STORY OTHER THAN THE BEATEN FALLEN FOE. IN JESUS’ NAME BY JESUS’ BLOOD BECAUSE GOD PROMISED ME, IN CHRIST, BECAUSE OF THE PROMISE TO ABRAHAM AND HIS SEED!
Back to Sunday’s sermon. Pastor Keith shared a vision, very similar to a vision that I have had about that church…meaning that this is where I belong, for such a time as this! I can join in with the vision, but the reason I am sharing this is that Pastor sharing His vision, that was so similar to the one I’ve been given, just confirms that I am right in the middle of the will of God! That’s not always the case… it’s is what my heart desires, but, my flesh often sways my off track. I AM WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE TIME IN WHICH I AM TO BE!
I want to do a study on Psalm 91…but, my pastor just did an amazing one! In Part four, I gave all the instructions on how to find that sermon. look at the podcasts at Your Greater Life.
I WILL SAY…I think I’ve covered that above.
TRUST …believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. Acts 16:11
Here’s the thing I’m getting at. Death is a risk whenever anyone goes into surgery.
I am at peace. I don’t fear the surgery, I don’t fear death. Why not? because I know where I am going! Philippians 1:21 King James Version (KJV)
21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Go ahead, read it in context….and for more info, I have shared my thoughts on Philippians 1:18-21.
YOU CAN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING! I pray that each one that reads this will take this seriously.
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation
Now, I do not believe that I will die…but rather live to declare the glory of God!
10 The name of Yahweh is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are protected.
It is in the name of Jesus that I dwell in the secret place of the most high, and I am protected.
I pray that each person that reads this will also know the name of Jesus, by inviting HIM into your heart to be Lord and Savior, and to choose to dwell in HIS secret place.
He is my hiding place! And he can be yours! Psalm 32:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
another way that I have made images is via the youversion app. GREAT app for having your bible at your fingertips and bible studies, and our pastor puts our sermon series notes in there so that we can take notes right on the phone with the scriptures! woo hoo!
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Definition of scuttlebutt 1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation 2 : rumor, gossip
I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water. Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.
My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.
In this book, Help and Hope while you are healing…no, I don’t get any kickbacks…just the pleasure of sharing this powerful book with anyone that will listen, Christine shares about discovering your passion and purpose.
Chapter 3 is managing the pain…great tool for planning ahead.
Chapter 4 is find your people.
Chapter 5 is discovering your passion and purpose…which I talked about in part three.
I wasn’t done sharing how God has led me through this surgery/cancer/move thing!
I wrote about The End is near in March…updated it a bit in April, and there is a huge list of things I should update to this blog!
here’s part of that hand of God orchestrating my life, to create a beautiful symphony!
I was chatting with a young lady that is training a YWAM to be a missionary.
She was sharing with me how the Lord have been guiding her, and what a joy it is to be in the place which God had planned.
here’s my comment:
One very large prayer is being answered. I am at the church the God called me to 2 years ago. God set me up for going back to the church, by having the pastor be at a doctors appointment that I was at, and I recognized him and I prayed for him.
So I have been able to tell them that I was there when he announced his vision for ministering to the unchurched, the marginalized, and the under cared for in this area. And he was stating that two years ago when I was here helping with my daughter while she had their third baby. At that time they had been praying for a church building, as they were meeting in the back of some government offices. I’ve been praying for this church and for their vision and for the Lord to provide this new church building well new to them because it’s a church building that another church is moving out of, but I’ve been praying for 2 years.
When Faith, our daughter, was telling me about this house that God wanted us to move into, one of the things she said was “oh by the way, your church is just around the corner from your house. Around the corner here does not mean always around the corner, the church is just around the corner on Bears den road” (less Than 3 miles away from our house). That is, the new church building that we are going to be renovating the inside and such and the first sermon is supposed to be the first Sunday in September!!!
THIS was just about the clincher to my saying yes to this house. There are so many other things…but this was KEY!
The other thing, it is such a blessing to sit under a pastor that preaches from God’s word. The United States has so many churches and there are many whose pastors do not preach the word of God. At some point God is going to pour out his judgement on America because we have been given so much in the way of his word, and freedom to live under his word and to share his word. This current generation in our country, has gotten the heart that says if he’s not going to correct me now he’s not going to say anything so go on and sin because God’s not watching. There’s a verse of scripture verse, the talks about that.
Yes, this is me…can’t keep me from stating something about the spiritual needs of the people around me…AND ME!
So what’s the big news about this? It’s that the Lord has allowed us to meet people from the church, and have a real connection between the pastor and his wife, right before I end up going into surgery! There are people in this church that will know of me and that know how to pray to God, how to pray the scriptures, and how to lift me up as I am lying unconscious on the surgery table.
I have had peace about the surgery and the surgeon all along, because I believe God set that up, but now on top of the peace, my heart is again, bursting with joy, that God had my church family planned out for this time, 2 years ago!
the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He Delights in his ways! Though he fall he shall not be cast down, but the Lord holds him up with his right hand.
The points.
2 years ago – I met a chiropractor, Suzanne Shaw, that shared with me about her church.
I attended while staying here for three months to enjoy my daughter and her sons.
The pastor shared his vision, his leading, his confidence that God had provided a church building for them, in which to reach and minister to more people!
My heart was touched…and I hated going back to Florida, because we did not have a church there at the time.
Two years go by, I’ve prayed for the church, but not had contact, other than visits with Dr Shaw when I’ve been here.
The Lord provides a house for our daughter and son-in-law.
The Lord provides a house for us, right next to their property.
The Lord planted all of us within easy driving of the new church building.
The Lord put the pastor and I at the doctors at the same time!
I attend my first service, and he is preaching on covenant…being covenant minded, knowing who we are in Christ and why…speaking life with my tongue, NOT DEATH!! timely message!
Here’s the church website, for Greater Life.
You can follow the instructions on obtaining the podcasts at the greater life website.
The specific sermons are in the Summer of Spiritual Growth, Covenant. So far, there are two parts…though he’s wondering about doing a third next Sunday.
On the youversion app, under events, search for greater life church – boardman. there you will find the notes for these sermons!
What has this to do with my surgery?
Well, to be honest, I would not have moved to Ohio if it weren’t for the cancer.
I would not be having surgery in Cleveland Clinic, if it weren’t for my daughter, and the house near her.
I would not be attending this church if I were in Florida.
My purpose.
There are several.
To be in a living church to serve.
To be in close contact with my children and grandchildren.
To share the gospel.
To write my story.
To serve others and help them to know the peace that passes understanding that is Christ Jesus
Now, a quick touch on chapter 6 – honor your healing. This chapter was NOT what I expected.
Christine set me up!
“the following exercise will help you find your worth in what may feel like wreckage. Instead of wallowing in all the things you cannot do and the ways you feel you are failing, how about you focus on those things you can do and celebrate that?”
28 years of therapy, if not more…and not one has gotten me to do this exercise.
I’m going through this innocent little book…thinking about how I do need to focus upon honoring the pain, so that I don’t undo the surgery(unlike the pelvic lift surgery in which I lifted things too early and felt the ties inside tear!).
“You are not without purpose in who you are and what you can do. We’ve established many ways for you to discover that truth, and I want you to find more!”
Thanks, Christine! You snuck that one in on me!
Seriously…the exercise had you write the gifts that I have that I love.
She has 10 lines.
Turn the page, AND SHE HAS ME FIGURE OUT A PURPOSE FOR EACH GIFT!!!
So, not only have I done an exercise that therapists have begged me to do for decades…I HAVE CREATED AN ACTION PLAN FOR THOSE GIFTS!
If that wasn’t sneaky enough…she inserts poetry here and there…and this one is titled “You are beautiful”.
She follows that poem with Psalm 139:14 Psalm 139:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Those that know me know that if you really want to get my attention…speak scripture!!!
So, I yeild!
I cannot do this without my relationship with Jesus. I did not say BELIEF in Jesus…that’s not enough. I needed a REAL relationship…and that is what HE wants with us. if you are interested, follow these links!
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Definition of scuttlebutt 1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation 2 : rumor, gossip
I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water. Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.
My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.
In part two I mentioned that I am finding some of my people on facebook. Ok, don’t look so horrified! There are many of us Christians that are trying to shine a light into the darkness of social media. BTW, with the live streaming…how do you think God is going to have Revelation 11 fulfilled? The part where the whole world will be able to see it????
Ok, back to my story.
In this book, Help and Hope while you are healing…no, I don’t get any kickbacks…just the pleasure of sharing this powerful book with anyone that will listen, Christine shares about discovering your passion and purpose.
Chapter 3 is managing the pain…great tool for planning ahead.
Chapter 4 is find your people.
In the midst of finding my people, I have also settled into my passion.
I want to share a few chats I’ve had with a couple friends lately…and, a bit about what God is preparing in me.
A dear friend from the early 2000’s had remained my friend. And, God was so gracious to reconnect us on facebook.
Here’s our chat…mostly my part:
When I was in ICU after my suicide, Jim played music on my phone right next to my bed for hours. I believe that is what pullws me back from the brink.
I know when I don’t listen to my music and read my scriptures my mind starts picking up with the world puts out there and then I’m a mess.
Friend: You have been an inspiration to many as you openly share your trials and triumphs. I thank God for you
Oh dear friend, thank you so much for saying that. I have had people tell me I ought not share so much so openly. But in my mind, one of the tools that the devil tries to destroy me with is to silence me, and how much better to give him a black eye and silence him by telling others that they can have Victory in Jesus!
Oh Shirley, I love you so much! Our time there at Cross Creek with a very very tumultuous time and yet out of that tumult cut me such a friend as you and I praise him for his amazing way of orchestrating multiple things! I am so thankful that he brought you into my life! And then brought you back via Facebook!
I have doubted that my story has any power…I know that my story talks about how the devil tried to destroy me…and I was in cahoots with him! I know that my story helps those that are abused, in chronic pain, depressed, anxious, struggling with life’s pressures. And even then, in my mind, I hear….”no one cares…shut up”.
Passion – to share my story to give other’s hope!
Sometimes, i ask why…give me a glimpse into the purpose.
I KNOW there is a purpose…
I KNOW that my Father only plans good for me…
I KNOW that whatever comes to me has to go through my Father’s hand first…
My Father is the father of lights…
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
and we focus upon the good…the gift…perfect is missed….
perfect
PERFECT – complete…fulfilled…HIS PLAN!
10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
Are we so much better than Job…who walked perfectly before the Lord…and endured great loss, to be made even MORE perfect…and to be put into our lives as an example of how to go through trials?
Jehovah God is NOT a Santa Clause…the scriptures about ask what you will and it shall be….ARE PART OF THE WHOLE SCRIPTURE!!! you have not because you ask amiss….
2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
have I asked God to heal me?
yes.
Have I claimed my healing as per the scriptures?
yes.
Do I think that God has abandoned me because I have to have surgery?
Oh, Lord, NO!!! God orchestrated this whole move so that I would have the BEST surgeon…and, honestly, if he had miraculously healed me, there is much that I would not have learned. These last 7 months have been full of fruit and meat and even some milk of the word that has caused me to grow.
Continued chat with my friend Shirley – who was talking bout how she had learned to lean on Jesus during her trials,and felt him closer than ever.
Me:
I know what you mean! It has been years since I have felt a very close relationship with Jesus, and I’ve always been close but there was something not quite the same. And I’ve been seeking his face about a lot of things this year, yeah, going from January planning on teaching in a church down in Florida and by the first week of March I’m moving to Ohio and everything in between and finding out about cancer and knowing that the Jim’s prostate cancer journey is not over yet and etc., etc., etc. This morning I woke up and it was as if Jesus was right here with me and God was just talking to me and I hadn’t felt that in years.
Such a sweet experience! I was asking Jesus about a few things, and it felt like he came in my room and sat down on my bed and was talking to me. Just like having a friend, an old friend, sit and talk to you, and listen, and full love, and no judgement. Ah, I wish my heart would be more open to this type of visit with Jesus! Anyway…
One of the things I’m learning is that he put me here for a reason oh, and one of those reasons is to be a Godly influence in my grandchildren and my children’s lives. On top of that, I am having to learn that he is the one that orders my steps and I need to be grateful humble and patient with those steps.
Another thing I’ve just learned, and I need to write this up on my next surgery scuttlebutt blog, is that the fear that I had that I would not do what I need to do for the recovery was me putting my trust in me. And obviously knowing that I am not trustworthy!
I haven’t feared the hospital, the doctor, the surgery, and I know that God’s in control of all of this, but I was freaking out about whether or not I was going to walk through the recovery to glorify him and with integrity.
I am very familiar with my failures and my weaknesses and I know that I get very tired of hurting and not being able to take care of myself.
All of the sudden I realized who I was putting my trust in for the recovery! And it wasn’t God! So I am laying that down at the altar and asking him to reign and rule over the recovery, and literally, today has been the first day that I’ve been at peace about the recovery. I am so grateful that he drew me to him when I was 9 years old, and he placed people in my life all along that spoke life into my being so that when the trials came I knew who was in the boat with me!
My view of Job was that God needed to take him down a little notch…and I am in no way equating myself with Job…perfect in all his ways, but i think God needed to put me in this position to learn, to see, that I was trusting in myself…NOT in HIM!
Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD!
There are many sermons about trusting in the flesh and not in God…though, being of the mindset that I am responsible for my choices, and that while my salvation is secure, I want to do right by God in all my words…
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
My fear was that I would fail.
My fear is/was that I would not live the fruit of the spirit in recovery.
My fear is that I would not be diligent in my care during the recovery.
and, I’ve written that I have had fear that I would be alone.
As I said to my grandson the other day…I am never alone…Jesus will not leave me nor forsake me!
MY PASSION?
to live for Christ, all the days, moments, of my life.
to glorify HIM in all I do…in a manner that shares his light and his love!
MY PURPOSE?
to tell my story…
PEACE…PEACE…PEACE...in my heart that keeps my heart and mind in Christ Jesus!
worship with me!
If you don’t know Jesus the way I do…here’s some links:
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip
I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.
My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.
This is part two. My People….
The introduction explained what’s happening
Part One explained how a book is helping me to focus.
My thoughts from 6/29/2018
Friends, as I work through the book “help and hope while you’re healing” by Christine Carter, I am aware that I’m not hooked into a community for the follow up help. Haven’t joined a church, haven’t made friends other than Faith Gibson’s in laws… And I’ve probably got at least 6 weeks of intense recovery.
Chapter Four is “REACH FOR YOUR PEOPLE” and it exposed some things….
This is a source of fear.
Fear hinders healing.
Fear is the opposite of faith.
Trusting in myself is pride and arrogance, and in this case, probably stupid. And, the Bible says some things about TRUSTING God! Psalm 125:1 is a great one!
Patience is trusting in God’s timing. I can’t change time.
Faith is trusting in God’s plan. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen! Hebrews 11:1 King James Version (KJV) I can’t see what’s going to happen!
Courage is facing fear and not letting it control your choices.
The Peace of Christ passes all understanding… It keeps my heart and be mind in Christ Jesus… Who IS the PRINCE OF PEACE.
I don’t know what will happen in the surgery… But God does.
I don’t know what will need to happen after the surgery, but God does.
Everything that led us to get to this house, this doctor, this hospital has been supernaturally orchestrated.
This symphony had been exciting and beautiful. Right now, the music is low, stirring, and anticipating something big. Crescendo, it’s coming… And the full compilation of all the different interludes is coming. The big finale that shouts “God is not dead, here’s surely alive!” is coming!
Stay tuned for the final chapter!!!
Update – I found some of my people on facebook!
I was struggling…and I confessed it….in light of
James 5:16 King James Version (KJV)
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip
I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.
My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.
I’m reading the book, Help and hope while you’re Healing – a woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness by Christine Carter. It’s available at Amazon, or from Christine’s blog.
In my introduction, I shared how I was freaking out.
My next step was to go to Florida, to see the ocean once more before my surgery.
Oh, right, and to touch base with my Florida doctors before major surgery.
I took along Christine’s book, and started to write in it…..
I started working on the lists….
One of which is a prayer list…for all of those that I will be praying for when I cannot do any other thing.
Another is a music list…My Grounding Worship youtube channel. It’s going to be growing!
Another is beauty…Shutterfly has an unlimited 4×6 photo program on the app. So, I’ve gone through tons of photos to have them there to make me smile.
Here is some of the photos…it’s from our drive from Clermont Florida down to Pompano Beach, and we drove through a double rainbow….
The rainbow has wondrous meaning to Christians…Genesis 9:13-16
Another lovely thought about the rainbow comes from Revelation of John – seeing the throne of God surrounded by a rainbow. A neat little study about that is at Patheos by Peter Leithart.
For Jim and I, we are often given rainbow signs in our life.
So, the very presence of this rainbow, DOUBLE rainbow that remained for 15 minutes at least, and that we drove under, was a spiritual gift to both of us. This was a trip to settle some things, and to prepare for the surgery. God not only allowed me to swim in the ocean, He surrounded us with HIS bow in the clouds!
In chapter three, managing the pain, Christine suggests that we should take the time to remember joy! and to write it down. This was where I started thinking of photos. And I decided that things that bring me joy are my family, friends, and God’s beauty. In line with this desire to pull together some of the beautiful places and people of our lives, God gave us a new one, experienced on a back road trip down the center of Florida!
I’ve also been collecting scriptures that will bring me back from the sorrow of pain…and that is another issue that Christine touched upon.
What bit issue sends me into depression? Being a burden.
Chapter four talked about reaching for my people…and I share about that in part two.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip
I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.
My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.
Here’s an email that explains the surgery:
on July 17th I’m having reconstruction of my right kidney…to remove a cyst that looks cacerous, though the official dx won’t be made until they take it out and biopsy it.
they want to save as much of my right kidney as they can, because a cyst has developed in my left kidney over the last four years, though it is not showing evidences of cancer at this time. 8-10 years ago, the one in my right was determined benign, too. anyway…the recovery will be long…longer than even the achilles tendon reattachment…during which I thought I’d go out of my mind.
Please send me verse, christian songs(youtube) and such that I can meditate upon before, and during the surgery and recovery.
I will be in the hospital for up to four days…a little unusual for any of my surgeries…usually, it’s in and out. Only one , the pelvic lift surgery, was two days.
My artificial cervical disc surgery was two days, be cause the doctor forgot to sign me out.
I don’t remember how long I was in for the hysterectomy in 1989…but, those days were a bit different than now.
anyway…I would appreciate prayers…love…and prayers
So, that’s it.
In January, I found out I had probably kidney cancer(they won’t call it official until they take out the mass that lit up with the cancer seeking dye has been biopsied, per Medical protocol – though multiple doctors have slipped and called it cancer).
10 years ago, it was benign.
Supposedly, very few of these turn cancerous…ding ding ding…I won the lottery!
I mentioned the cancer surgery on my fb page, and a new friend, Christine Carter, who lives near Columbus Ohio, where we used to live, offered to send me a copy of her book. I thought, that’s so sweet.
She mailed it, and I opened the box…and I thought, this will be good for me to read while I’m recovering.
Why would I think that?
The name! Help and Hope While You’re Healing…A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness.
I had read her post that her husband was recovering and said that he probably should read her book now.
That was funny.
But, I had to prepare!!!
On the other hand, I was going to Florida for a week of appointments in preparation(my main doctors are still in Florida), so I planned to take the book along to read and see what’s up.
Then, I opened the book – and she had me at chapter one! “I’ll meet you there!”
She speaks from experience!
Folks – I’ve been where she’s been – with multiple surgeries and illnesses and injuries.
And I HATE WAITING!
MUCH OF HEALING IS WAITING!
Unless you are blessed to receive a supernatural healing, you walk out your healing by faith….and wait for the manifestation!
If there is one thing in my life that i have difficulty with it is waiting.
I prefer to be 15 minutes early anywhere…and I have to practice mercy and grace with those that are late…chronically late…habitually late…as in, tell them to meet you 30 minutes before you plan to do anything to get them there on time late!
I am worse with me.
I’m not healed yet, what am I doing wrong?
Oh, I only had surgery yesterday? You say I’m too hard on myself? HA!!! let me tell you about my artificial cervical disc recovery! ok, most of that was the amazing surgery procedure…but still…replace a cervical disc and I’m nodding my head the next day…come on, we can do better than this with a knee!!! ankle, wrist….I mean, I played the piano just three days after trigger finger surgery!!!
Now…walking, why can’t I walk? Oh, body, you want to shut down? I’ll just walk another mile and…oh, darn…electrolyte crash, call the squad, heart is racing, seeing spots…maybe I should have just sat down!
Running? Who says you can’t run with herniated discs…I’ll show me!!!!
Yep – I showed me, but the wrong part of me did the showing…now I go to a pain doctor on a regular basis for injections, epidurals and blocks!
What are you saying?
I should listen to my body?
That’s not biblical!
Faith is the substance of things HOPED FOR
the evidence of things NOT SEEN….
On the other hand…WHO is sovereign over my life? Jehovah
Jehovah Raphe – the God who heals….
And sometimes He is the God who says BE STILL!
HEAR MY VOICE IN THE QUIET
WAIT ON THE LORD
um….ok, so, I admit that I tend to get out ahead of God…a bit… a lot a bit…to be honest…a lot….often.
And sometimes, yes, he allows me to be put into the position to WAIT upon the LORD, to BE STILL, and to listen to HIM in the quiet.
Christine’s book, chapter two is preparing for the pause…I’m going to write more about that in part one.
For now…if you want more information on Christine Carter and her book, read about it on her blog, A Story about a Book.
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
I need to remind myself that as long as I don’t put something between me and God, I’m not sinning, and therefore I am probably OK.
