Midnight Musings – How Long, Jesus? – Jan 7-8, 2018

Often, I am given things in the middle of the night. Most of the time, I just lie there and beg to go back to sleep! Recently, I’ve been convicted to share these ramblings, and I’ve had some encouraging responses. So – here goes obedience! ~Christi

This is day 6 of 100 in 2018
and this fits into my one word(phrase) be like Jesus.

How Long, Jesus?

I just want to quit,
I’m so tired of the pain,
I’m tired of the questions,
I’m tired of the shame.

YOU said to be saved
One must endure to the end,
That’s not what the banners
All say, “let’s be friends!”

Jesus will heal
Jesus will give
Jesus will bless
You with good things to live.

But what about pain?
What about doubt?
What about those
That never make it out

Out of the darkness
Of mental dispair
Out of the treatments
Or with nothing to wear?

What about those that
Never see “good”
And struggle and grab
For each morsle of food?

What about those
That pray underground?
Or those that have
Financially drowned?

Some wait for the miracle,
But the miracle does not come.
Is this the end we endure?
That we get to go home?

I know YOU aren’t Santa,
Or even welfare!
I know you are focused
On getting me where…

Where I can see
Your hand when I look,
When I can hear
Your voice when you’ve spoke.

I just want to sleep,
But my legs won’t relax
My arms want to twitch,
And my skins feels like tacks.

I know there’s an enemy,
And he’s out to destroy,
Whatever good YOU create
In my life, it’s his ploy.

I know he has to ask You
For whatever he plans,
And there’s nothing he can do,
Except it comes from your hands.

There are so many concerns,
So many deep longings,
So many heart cries,
But time keeps on rolling.

Rolling along,
Toward whatever the end,
And that’s when I’ll see
Jesus, My Friend.

YOU stand by my side,
When I whine and complain,
YOU sit near my seat,
When I can’t move from the pain.

I know in my heart,
That you would if you would…
Heal me, and free me
So that I could do good.

The issue isn’t the can
But the will,
But I’m tired of hearing,
Peace, child, be still.

You’ve given so much,
No one can compare,
To the blessings around me,
And my soul, you did spare.

I’m tired, dear Jesus,
I just want to rest,
Can you lesson this pain,
From off of my chest?

Can you tell my legs CEASE
Be STill, and at rest,
Can you tell my head,
Stop fearing the test.

What test? You might ask,
For the Christian to pass?
Yes, but it’s easy,
Because he IS the class.

There is a test
For all to take,
And it’s about Jesus
Our Lord to make.

If we choose Him,
And allow the Spirit
To be our guide to make
Us for heaven – fit.

HE says COME
HE says LOVE
HE says GRACE
Coming from above.

No matter how tired
No matter how hurt
To HIM I will offer
All of my heart.

JOB is my hero
In the midst of his trials
He cried out to God
And his tears could fill vials

Yes he complained
HE argued His case
And God reprimanded
And got in his face.

The end result
Was Job fell contrite
I’ll shut up,
You, LORD, are right!

My God is not small,
He can handle my why’s
He loves me enough
To listen to my cries.

He always wins,
Because I always give in
Sometimes it’s the hard way
Because I do sin.

He guides me, And leads me
Along my life’s way
To finish the work
Prepared for His day.

I love Him, I need Him
To reign in my heart.
So that I am empowered
To yeild to my part

My part in this grand plan,
This eternal choice
To connect with His people
And give HIM a voice.

And it’s His voice I cherish,
His voice I crave
His voice that has saved me
From a suicidal grave.

Yesterday, today
And forever the same
My God loves me always,
I am safe in His NAME.

So whether I’m tired,
depressed or in pain,
He loves me, and holds me
And whispers my name.

I love you, dear Christi,
And I came for your heart,
I know that you’re hurting,
I’ll do my part.

To hold you, and love you,
And pour out mercy and grace,
I will prepare you,
To see me by face.

My glory you’ll share,
As we reign and we rule,
Because you endured
Life’s rocky, tough school.

You’ll hear my voice say
Well done, my dear girl,
And we finish this journey,
Together and sure.

You see, I won’t leave you,
No matter your words,
I want you to know that
Your pain has been heard.

My reasons are mine,
My purposes sure,
To grow you in goodness,
And make your heart pure.

Sometimes the fire,
Gets painful with heat,
But you’ve asked to be seated
At my holy feet.

You will come out holy,
You will come out pure,
As seven times silver
Is refined to be sure.

Your face will reflect mine,
You light it will sihine,
As my love in you,
Is completely refined.

I love you dear daughter,
I won’t leave you alone,
My plans, they are good,
To bring you to HOME.

Thank you, Dear Jesus,
For letting me see,
Again, of your favor,
To meet all my needs.

I love you, dear Jesus,
I ask you to stay,
Close by me forever,
And keep me I pray.

Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And fate us for heaven
To live with Thee there.

Amen.
© 2018 MCWildman

Credit to Martin Luther for the lyrics to Away in the Manger

Home Free – Away in the Manger

 

Jim & Christi 2017

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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