2023 First 100 Days – day 11 Wisdom and Praise Readings

First 100 days reading Wisdom and Praise day 11, January 11

Chris’s video thoughts on Day 11 readings

old music book open

Image by Peter H from Pixabay

Psalms 11, 41, 71, 101, 131 and Proverb 11

Today’s readings  have some Bible Psychology to share.

Today we read about God being our refuge and strength(11 & 71), a prayer for the sick(41) and we can learn about the attitude when we go through trials of all sorts. Psalm 101 gives us an idea that setting boundaries was a thing even in David’s day. Psalm 131 talks about being still.

Proverbs gives us many nugget gifts on the way we can live for better living.

  • Psalm 11 – God is our Refuge and Strength
    • Ps 11:1 I have taken refuge in the Lord.
      How can you say to me,
      “Escape to the mountain like a bird![a]

      • Ps 56:3 Go To When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
      • Ps 64:10 ties in with righteous – The righteous one rejoices in the LORD and takes refuge in Him; all those who are upright in heart will offer praise.
      • Ps 141:8 (KJV) But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.
    • God is our refuge by Maranatha Christian Church – another Psalm but beautiful.
    • Ps 11:3 The foundations
      • Ps 127:1 A Solomonic song of ascents. Unless the LORD builds a house, its builders labor over it in vain; unless the LORD watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain.
      • Matthew 7:24-27 Build your house on the Rock
    • Ps 11:4-7 OUR GOD!
      • Ps 11:7 Go To Verse
        • For the Lord is righteous; He loves righteous deeds.
          The upright will see His face.
    • Songs I found
  • Psalm 41 – David’s Prayer Journal, Prayer for the sick
    • Ps41:1-2 (HCBS) Happy is one who cares for the poor;
      the Lord will save him in a day of adversity.
      The Lord will keep him and preserve him;
      he will be blessed in the land.
    • Ps 41:1-2 (NIV)Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
          the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
      The Lord protects and preserves them—
          they are counted among the blessed in the land—
          he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
    • Ps 41:3-4 Sickbed=Sin?
      • 3 The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed; You will heal him on the bed where he lies. 4 I said, “Lord, be gracious to me; heal me, for I have sinned against you.”
      • James 5:14-15  14 Is any sick among you? let  him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 and the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; AND if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
      • sickness = punishments = sin is not always the case, but one should check their hearts when sickness comes, or any trial to see if this is discipline, teaching or an attack of our enemy, and progress accordingly.
    • Ps 41:9 Deep Betrayal
      • Even my friend[a] in whom I trusted,
        one who ate my bread,
        has raised his heel against me.
    • Ps 41:10 goes with James 5:15 shared above
      • But You, Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up;
    • Ps 41:11-13 Declaration of Faith in God
      • By this I know that You delight in me:
        my enemy does not shout in triumph over me.
        12 You supported me because of my integrity
        and set me in Your presence forever.
      • May Yahweh, the God of Israel, be praised
        from everlasting to everlasting.
        Amen and amen.
    • Psalm 41 by Jason Silver
    • Psalm 41 by ABe and Liza Philip
  • Psalm 71 Stronghold and Refuge
    • Ps 71:1 Lord, I seek refuge in You;
      let me never be disgraced.

    • Ps 71:3 Be a rock of refuge for me,
      where I can always go.
      Give the command to save me,
      for You are my rock and fortress.

    • Ps 71:5 -6 confidence from my youth,  71:17 youthful praise
    • Ps 71:8 Attitude in time of struggle
    • Ps 71:9 & 18 God esteems the old and gray
      • Don’t discard me in my old age;
        as my strength fails, do not abandon me.
    • Ps 71:17 youthful praise, with Ps 71:5-6
    • Ps 71:20 & 21 (NIV)
      • Though you have made me see troubles,
            many and bitter,
            you will restore my life again;
        from the depths of the earth
            you will again bring me up.
      • You will increase my honor
            and comfort me once more.
    • Ps 71:22-24 Praising God – Attitude of Praise
      • Therefore, I will praise You with a harp
        for Your faithfulness, my God;
        I will sing to You with a lyre,
        Holy One of Israel.
        23 My lips will shout for joy
        when I sing praise to You
        because You have redeemed me.
        24 Therefore, my tongue will proclaim
        Your righteousness all day long,
        for those who seek my harm
        will be disgraced and confounded.
      • Ps 71:6, 8, 14
    • songs
  • Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

    Psalm 101 A poem from David’s Prayer Journal

    • Ps 101:1-6 Confession of faith.
      • Ps 101:1 I will sing of faithful love and justice;
        I will sing praise to You, Lord.
      • Ps 59:16 (NIV)But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
      • Psalm 89:1 ESV I will sing of the steadfast love of the LORD, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations.
    • Ps 101:7-8 Setting Boundaries
      • Ps 101:7 No one who acts deceitfully
        will live in my palace;
        no one who tells lies
        will remain in my presence.[b]
      • Ps 120:2 Save me, LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.
      • Pr 12:22 (NKJV)Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal truthfully are His delight.
      • John 8:44 You are of your father the Devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and has not stood in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he speaks from his own nature, because he is a liar and the father of liars.
  • Ps 131 short and sweet – self comforting
    • Ps 131:2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself
      like a little weaned child with its mother;
      I am like a little child.
    • Ps 62:1 (NLT) I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him.
    • Ps 37:7 Be silent before the LORD and wait expectantly for Him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the man who carries out evil plans.
    • Ps 46:10 (KJV) Go To Verse Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
    • Ps 33:20Ps 40:1, W&P day 10
    • Ps 27:13-14 Go To Verse I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
      in the land of the living.
      14 Wait for the Lord;
      be strong[b] and courageous.
      Wait for the Lord.
  • Proverb 11 More of Solomon’s TidBits, many about righteousness.
    • In Homan Christian Study Bible version, 15 verses about righteousness
      • Pr 11:3,4,5,6,8,9,10.11.18, 19, 20, 21, 23
      • Ps 11:7 For the LORD is righteous; He loves righteous deeds. The upright will see His face.
      • Pr 11:2 GoTo Verse – When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom.
      • Other go to verses – Pr 11:13, 15, 18,
        • Pr 11:22 (KJV) Go To verse As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
        • Cross Reference AND Go To Verse Ps 31:30(NIV)  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
      • Pr 11:24-25 A Generous Heart
      • Pr 11:27 The one who searches for what is good finds favor,
        • Is 55:6 GoTo Verse Seek the LORD while He may be found; call to Him while He is near.
        • Matt 6:33 Go To Verse But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
      • Seek ye first the Kingdom of God by Maranatha Singers

~~~~~~~

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

two birds connected by musical notes

2023 First 100 days – Reading Wisdom and Praise day 10

2023 First 100 days reading Wisdom and Praise day 10, January 10

Chris’s Discussion of Wisdom and Praise

young woman with blonde hair sitting at a tree playing guitar

Image by Sam Williams from Pixabay

Psalms 10, 40, 70, 100, 130, and Proverb 10

Today’s readings have a lot to sing about! But first, there is a Psalm where the author is comparing themselves with other, and feeling as if God is absent.

We finish with one of Solomon’s Proverbs that is written in a poetic style of this vs that, either/or, and sometimes the second part confirms the first.  These are easy to pick out and to memorize as little nuggets of truth to hold onto.

  • Psalms 10 Comparison, why do the wicked succeed?
    • Ps 10:1-2 Lord,[a][b] why do You stand so far away?
      Why do You hide in times of trouble?
      In arrogance the wicked relentlessly pursue the afflicted;
      let them be caught in the schemes they have devised.
    • Ps 10:3-11 Comparisons of righteous and evil
      • Ps 10:3 For the wicked one boasts about his own cravings;
        the one who is greedy curses[c] and despises the Lord.
      • Ps 10:11 He says to himself, “God has forgotten;
        He hides His face and will never see.”
    • Ps 10:12-15 Lord, defend your honor
      • Ps 10:12 Rise up, Lord God! Lift up Your hand.
        Do not forget the afflicted.
      • Ps 10:14 The helpless entrusts himself to You;
        You are a helper of the fatherless.
    • Ps 10:16- 19 Glorify The Lord
      • The Lord is King forever and ever;
        the nations will perish from His land.
  • Psalm 40 – Sing Sing Sing
    • Ps 40:2-3 (KJV)

      He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

      And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

    • Lyrics to the song I sang on the video
      • He brought me out of the mirey clay
      • He set my feet on the rock to stay
      • He put a song in my heart to stay
      • a song of praise hallelujah.
    • Ps 40:8-9, and 6 (KJV) song I sang on the video
      • I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.

        I have preached righteousness in the great congregation: lo, I have not refrained my lips, O Lord, thou knowest.

      • Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast thou opened: burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required.
      • Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV) If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
            Lord, who could stand?
        But with you there is forgiveness,
            so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
    • Ps 40:10– Declare God’s righteousness – Witness to His great love
    • Ps 40:11-15 – Prayer for deliverance
    • Ps 40:16 fits with Psalm 70, and Psalm 130:3-4 forgiveness = salvation
      • Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
        let those who love Your salvation continually say,
        “The Lord is great!”
        17 I am afflicted and needy;
        the Lord thinks of me.
        You are my helper and my deliverer;
        my God, do not delay.
      • Psalm 40 sung by Jason Silver
      • Psalm 40, Out of the miry clay by Karl Kohlhase
  • Psalm 70 David’s Prayer Journal – cry for deliverance
    • Ps 70: 1 God, deliver me.
      Hurry to help me, Lord!
    • Ps 70:3 Aha Aha – 
      • Let those who say, “Aha, aha!”
        retreat because of their shame.
      • Ps 40:15
      • Ps 35:23
    • Ps 70:4 Let all that seek rejoice 
      • Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
        let those who love Your salvation
        continually say, “God is great!”
      • Ps 40:16 
  • Psalm 100 (KJV) PRAISE! GoTo Psalm
  • Ps 100:1-2 GoTo Verse
  • Psalm 130 I don’t know the author, but Prayer for forgiveness
    • Ps 130: 3-4 forgiveness in the Old Testament(referred to in NT)
    • Ps 130 :5-6 Patience
      • I wait for Yahweh; I wait
        and put my hope in His word.
        I wait for the Lord
        more than watchmen for the morning—
        more than watchmen for the morning.
      • Ps 5:3 
      • Ps 33:20
      • Ps 40:1
  • Proverb 10 – Solomon’s tidbits of wisdom
    • Pr 10:1 A wise son brings joy to his father,
      but a foolish son, heartache to his mother.
    • Pr 10:9 The one who lives with integrity lives securely,
      but whoever perverts his ways will be found out.
    • MOUTH WISDOM
      • Pr 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
        but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.
      • Pr 10:13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,
        but a rod is for the back of the one who lacks sense.
      • Pr 10:14 The wise store up knowledge,
        but the mouth of the fool hastens destruction.
      • Pr 10:18 The one who conceals hatred has lying lips,
        and whoever spreads slander is a fool.
      • Pr 10:19(KJV) GO TO Verse
        • In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.
      • Pr 10:20-21 
        • The tongue of the righteous is pure silver; the heart of the wicked is of little value.  21 the lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense.
        • James 3:6
        • Matt 12:36
    • Pr 10:22(KJV) 22 The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.
      • Pr 10:31-32 The mouth of the righteous produces wisdom, but a perverse tongue with be cut out.  32 The lips of the righteous know what is appropriate but the mouth of the wicked, only what is perverse.
  • Songs:

One of my prayer journals – Even If, I believe

One of my GoTo blogs, with many of my Go To verse for victory – The Name of the Lord

~~~~~~~

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

open Bible

2023 First 100 days – day 9 Reading Wisdom and Praise

2023 First 100 days day 9, January 9

open Bible

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Wisdom and Praise Psalms 9, 39, 69, 99, 129 and Proverb 9

The blog is delayed because I had an appointment with my eyes dilated, and I could not see all day.  I will get it added here as soon as I can.  Thanks for your patience.

 

 

Songs I found
Psalm 9 by Jason Silver
Psalm 9 by Karl Kohlhase

 

 
~~~~~~~

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Praise and worship

First 100 days – day 8 Reading Wisdom and Praise

2023 First 100 days day 8, January 8

Selected thoughts and a song on Day 8 by Chris

Psalms 8, 38, 68, 98, 128 and Proverb 8

today’s readings have many many examples of praising God wrapped around one long psalm of praying out of despair. We all have times where we are crying out to God from the tear stained sheets of our bed. The glory is that there is an end to that despair, and we can join in the songs of the saints singing to the Lord God.

  • Psalm 8 – from David’s Prayer Journal – song of praise
    • Ps 8:1
      • Yahweh, our Lord, how magnificent is Your name throughout all the earth! You have covered the heavens with your majesty.
    • Ps 8:3 Creation glorifies –
      • When I observe Your heavens,
        the work of Your fingers,
        the moon and the stars,
        which You set in place,
    • Ps 8:4-8  Man’s purpose
      • :6 You made him lord over the works of Your hands;
        You put everything under his feet:[e]
      • Genesis 2:15
        • The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 
    • Psalm 8 ends with the Beginning
      • Yahweh, our Lord, how magnificent is Your name throughout all the earth!  
  • Psalm 38 – a Psalm of despair from David’s Prayer Journal
    • 38:1-2
      • Lord, do not punish me in Your anger
        or discipline me in Your wrath.
        For Your arrows have sunk into me,
        and Your hand has pressed down on me.
        • Heb 12:7 (NIV) Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
        • Deut 8:5 (HCSB) Keep in mind that the LORD your God has been disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son.
        • 2 Sam 7:14 I will be a father to him, and he will be a son to Me. When he does wrong, I will discipline him with a human rod and with blows from others.
        • 1 Cor  11:31-32  31 If we were properly evaluating ourselves, we would not be judged, 32 but when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord, so that we may not be condemned with the world.
        • James 1:2-4 (KJV)  

          My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

          Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

          But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

    • Ps 38:15 declaration of faith and relationship
      • I put my hope in You, Lord;
        You will answer, Lord my God.
    • Ps 38:21-22  his prayer
      • Lord, do not abandon me;
        my God, do not be far from me.
        22 Hurry to help me,
        Lord, my Savior.
  • woman at sunset with arms outstretchedPsalm 68 – a long song from David’s Prayer Journal PRAISE!
    • Ps 68:5 GoTo Verse for me
      • God in His holy dwelling is
        a father of the fatherless
        and a champion of widows.
    • Ps 68:35  Summary
      • God, You are awe-inspiring in Your sanctuaries.
        The God of Israel gives power and strength to His people.
        May God be praised!
  • Psalm 98 – Praise for Answered Prayer
    • Ps 98:1(ERV)a song from my youth:
      • A Psalm. Sing unto the LORD a new song; for he hath done marvelous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath wrought salvation for him.
    • Ps 98:7-9 Creation Praising God
      • Let the sea and all that fills it,
        the world and those who live in it, resound.
        Let the rivers clap their hands;
        let the mountains shout together for joy
        before the Lord,
      • Like Ps 8:3
      • Like Ps 48 (NIV)
  • Psalm 128  Blessings for fearing the Lord
    • Ps 128:3-4
      • Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
        within your house,
        your sons, like young olive trees
        around your table.
        In this very way
        the man who fears the Lord
        will be blessed.
    • Ps 128:5-6  The Blessing
      • May the Lord bless you from Zion, so that you will see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life and will see your children’s children,
  • Proverb 8 – Wisdom cries out for man to come
    • Pr 8:10-11 GoTo Verses for wisdom
      • Accept my instruction instead of silver,
        and knowledge rather than pure gold.
        11 For wisdom is better than jewels,
        and nothing desirable can compare with it.
      • Pr 4:5 (AMP) “Get [skillful and godly] wisdom! Acquire understanding [actively seek spiritual discernment, mature comprehension, and logical interpretation]! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
      • Pr 2:2 (HSCB) listening closely to wisdom and directing your heart to understanding;
      • Pr 4:7 (KJV)  Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
      • Pr 16:16 (KJV) How much better is it to get wisdom than gold! and to get understanding rather to be chosen than silver!
    • Pr 8:22-31 Wisdom Created?  The Beginning of the world
    • Pr 8:32-36 The Blessing of Wisdom

~~~~~~~

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His Highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Let Go Let God illustration

My One Word – Letting Go – Suicide?

Welcome to my thoughts. I am pretty open and honest about what I am going through.

This year, 2023, I have received a phrase for my annual ONE WORD focus, Let Go.

I have written a lot about my issues with suicidal thoughts.

I am dealing with some health issues.

  • I am five years clean from Kidney Cancer – so that’s good.
  • My HbA1c has dropped to better numbers. Technically, DM2 is in remission – so that’s good.
  • I’m getting injections in my back for a disk that is compromised – so that’s good.
  • I’m losing weight – a comorbidity to many diseases – so I’m moving forward
  • I have cirrhosis – non repairable – leads to a transplant if progresses before I’m 70
      • this is NOT good – and is a terminal condition.
    • My liver scores are lower, by half, than ever in decades – this should be good.
    • I was disappointed to see that. The life changes I’ve done have slowed down the degenerative nature of the cirrhosis.

Did you see what I said? I was disappointed to see that things were improving.

I had the same feeling when I heard that the second cyst in my other kidney was not changing – no evidence of that one turning cancerous like the first one did.

WHY AM I DISAPPOINTED THAT MY HEALTH ISSUES ARE IMPROVING?

BECAUSE I WILL LIVE LONGER.

I’ve talked about suicide. Here’s one of my posts that talk about the cycle and of passive suicide.  This one was written January 2009.  I committed suicide, was found non responsive and was brought back to life by Emergency medical people on November 18, 2009.

Now to today.  When I found out that my liver disease was going to kill me, I was relieved.  You see, as my faith is, I cannot commit suicide without eternal negative ramifications.  I hold in my mind two disagreeing positions.  I cannot commit suicide, but the ones that I know who have committed suicide, I believe that God is a merciful God and will see their struggles and grant them access to the Kingdom of God. But I cannot allow that belief to be true for me, or I will again choose to kill myself.

Since 2015, because of a two month program with La Amistad in Winter Park, Florida, I have looked forward to living.  I would say I don’t want to die.  I would try to do things that were alive and living and helping others.  I was trying to have a purpose for my life, and I believed I had one.

Until the other day.  When the realization of the liver numbers hit me, and I was thinking why am I sad about that, I was shocked.  That means that my life may well be extended. That means that I really need a purpose, goals, steps and plans for the future.  I may be here longer than age 70. Damn it.

But wait!  I was saying I wanted to live – was that a lie?  No – I wanted to live the life I had left with vim and vigor.  And I was content that it wasn’t going to be long – my liver was going to finish me off.  I was comforted by the fact that my body was going to cut my life short.  I would not be responsible for that.

I actually started looking back at the last 6 months and wondered what I had been doing that might have had this change in my liver!

  • food?
    • no – going back to the 6 months ago labwork, I had been on my trip, eating fast food, processed food, and drinking a lot of diet pop.
  • exercise?
    • no – going back to the 6 months labs,  I was travelling – in a truck.  I walked the dog 3 times a day.  Not far.
  • coffee?
    • yes, the doctor told me to drink coffee, but I like it cold so I didn’t drink coffee on the trip, but I drank diet caffein pop, several canfulls.
    • when I went through drive throughs I bought the largest diet cola they had, with lite ice.  easily 64 ounces a day – often more.

I have no idea what I did to create these great blood lab numbers! And I wanted to reverse what I was doing.  Here’s the rub:

  • food?
    • I moved out of my trailer into an apartment, which has hit my budget so that I can’t eat out so much.
    • In addition, I’ve started making my own food – for budget sake and for liver sake
  • exercise?
    • I’m walking the dog 2-3 times a day, and often we go to the dog park area in our community and I play soccer with her – me kicking the ball, doing leg raises to try to get the ball from her, jumping around playing keep away.
    • I’m doing some basic exercises daily in front of the TV to mitigate pain
  • coffee?
    • well now – I’ve gotten a bit addicted to cold brew coffee, and drinking it for the morning – at least 3 cups.
    • I was given a small coffee drip maker and I’m making my own coffee for putting over ice.

The only thing I can do is to stop the coffee – and it really is helping me in other ways. I’ve even continued taking NSAIDS because of pain, and they are not affecting the numbers.  So, I’m cursed to remain on these paths towards better health.  Better Health means longer life.  I am disappointed.

I could be all spiritual about this and say that it’s because I want to go and be with Jesus, which is true, but this is not the spirit behind this disappointment.  I recognize this spirit.  It’s the same one, cleaned up and wrapped up differently, than the one that wanted me to die – to leave this world, and all it’s struggles, despair and disappointment.  This is the Suicide Spirit – just passive.

Passive Suicide.

I’ll be writing more about this, because I have history with several types of passive suicide. I just didn’t know that I was still being ruled by one.
LET GO
Who would have thought that letting God would mean that I needed to search my heart deep and Let Go of a sneaky, stealthy enemy lurking deep in my heart, secretly rejoicing in the probability of my demise.

I didn’t think it was there.
Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Proverbs 20:5 (HCSB)

Counsel in a man’s heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it out.

1 Corinthians 2:11a (BSB)

11 For who among men knows the thoughts[a] of a man except the spirit of the man that is in him?

I went through a very overt struggle over December with desires to not live, to not wake up, to not go another minute.  My doctor, my therapist and the pharmacist, as well as leaders of my groups helped me through those days.  But I was very aware of those urges, because of anniversaries and triggering memories.

  • No one knows about this deep dark desire to die early, by whatever means my body would give me.
  • No one knows how I’ve thought about DNR
  • and about end of time maintenance, comfort care in hospice.
  • No one knows how disappointed I am in this turn towards health.

This is silent
This is passive
This is suicidal ideation, as a core thought process.

LET GO
I have known suicide at least as far back as when I was 16, and then it was as real to me that I talked to a psychiatrist that let me know that all 16 year olds had thoughts of killing themselves. I have since talked to friends and asked them, do they think of dying, by their own hand or by disease? NO! is the answer – a resounding NO! And those that have disease look to death as a release, but not a desire. And they have to do the mental hoop jumping to get themselves in a positive mindset that if death is the end result they will leave peacefully, having gotten their affairs in order. This peace, this resolve to face their destiny is not what I’m talking about with me.

Deep down, I want to die. I don’t want to do this anymore.
I’m tired of the fights.
I’m tired of the push.
I’m tired of the abuse.
I’m tired of the effort it takes to walk out into the world and try to be a smiling, joyful person – even though that is basically what I am in public. Am I a fake? No, most of me is joyful, not wanting to burden anyone with sadness, but rather bless them with a smile. I love to do that. That is who I am.

But so is this.
And I have to Let Go.
I don’t know what will happen if I let go.
The saying Let Go and Let God come flooding in at this moment.

We are made in God’s image – triune. Body, Mind and Spirit. But, while God the Father seems to be the reigning part of the Godhead – our bodies tend to be our reigning aspect. Our minds can also get so bogged down with negative things that it can be the reigning aspect. And if there is trauma, messing up the healthy connection between mind and body, things can get twisted. Cognitive Distortions come along. The healthy mental pathways don’t get laid down properly. The basic animal instinct of survival of the fittest is overwritten with thoughts that I am not the fittest, that I don’t belong, that I am a detriment to the others that need to survive.  These can lead to depression, which can lead to suicidal ideations.

I am giving up this mentality because it is a door that keeps the good things of the Lord from flooding in.  It keeps me from truly feeling the joy that comes from living my life for Jesus Christ.  It makes it difficult to practice self care – because I don’t deserve it, or it might extend my life – this life I want nothing to do with.

BUT GOD!  I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe the promises in Christ are yes and amen.

  • 2 Cornithians 1:20 (NIV)
    • For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.
  • Jeremiah 29:11 Berean Standard Bible
    • 11For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
  • And with the promise in Jeremiah comes some extra blessings from God (Jer 29:12-13)
    •  12Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 1
  • Deuteronomy talks about choices after being set free from captivity – which I have been to suicide. (Deut 30:11-20 NLT)
    • 15 “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. 16 For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.

I have to make a choice.  A deep down in my heart choice.  To root out this deadly thought process so that it cannot jump up and grab me again, messing with my mind and setting in motion things that will be detrimental to my living the life that God has prepared for me.

woman at sunset with arms outstretchedI will LET GO of the desire to die.

I will LET GOD fill me with HIS light and life, to wash out all darkness.

I am grateful to God that He chose to expose this to me so that I could repent and turn back to Him.

Please keep me in your prayer as I continue to walk this path, and as I continue to advocate for Suicide Awareness, and Suicide Prevention,

If you or anyone  you know is having trouble and could possibly consider suicide, or self harm, Please call 988. If you are a veteran, press 1.  There is help. Some even understand what we are struggling with, and will walk with us.

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Praise and worship

2023 The First 100 Days – Reading Wisdom and Praise – Day 7

2023 First 100 days day 7, January 7

Day 7 discussed by Chris Wildman from The WildBerry Patch

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

Wisdom and Praise Collection
Psalms 7, 37, 67, 97, 127 and Proverbs 7

Today’s readings were so fun.  I really focused on Psalm 37 in the video, and it has songs!  I also put Psalm 67 at the end as a prayer, but here, I’ll put them all in order.

 

  • Thanks for joining me in this study of Wisdom and Praise.  Would you like to help others to be touched by this? 
  • Please go to the Facebook “The WildBerry Patch” page and join, and like and comment. 
  • Also, The WildBerry Patch site you can add a comment. 
  • Just for fun, you can join me at ChristArtist on Twitter. 
  • Thank you.  
prayer

Image by reenablack from Pixabay

  • Psalm 7 – David’s Prayer Journal
    • Ps 7:1-2
      • Yahweh my God, I seek refuge in You;
        save me from all my pursuers and rescue me
        or they[c] will tear me like a lion,
        ripping me apart with no one to rescue me.[d]
    • Ps 7:3-5 seeking his own heart
      • Yahweh my God, if I have done this,
        if there is injustice on my hands,
        if I have done harm to one at peace with me
        or have plundered[e] my adversary without cause,
    • Ps 7:10 GoTo verse
      • My shield is with[k] God,
        who saves the upright in heart.
    • Ps 7:17 GoTo verse
      • I will thank the Lord for His righteousness;
        I will sing about the name of Yahweh the Most High.
Praise and worship

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

  • Psalm 37 very musical
    • Ps 37:1 in various versions
    • (NIV) Of David. Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong;
    • (NLT) Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong.
    • (KJV) A Psalm of David. Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
    • (HCSB) Davidic. Do not be agitated by evildoers; do not envy those who do wrong.
    • Psalm 37 song by Sons of Korah
    • Ps 37:3-6 Song number 1 – Trust in the Lord and do Good
      • Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.

        Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

        Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

      • I sing a version of this on the video.  If anyone knows where this  comes from , please comment and let me know!
    • Ps 37:7 – This could be a GoTo verse
      • Be silent before the Lord and wait – our responsibility when seeking the Lord.
        • (KJV) Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
    • Ps 37:8 a GoTo verse to be like Christ
      • (KJV) Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
      • (HCSB) Refrain from anger and give up your rage;
        do not be agitated—it can only bring harm.
    • Ps 37:16 – another GoTo verse
      • The little that the righteous man has is better
        than the abundance of many wicked people.
    • Ps 37:21 – Great Wisdom for knowing character
      • The wicked man borrows and does not repay,
        but the righteous one is gracious and giving.
    • Ps 37:23-24 another song!
      • The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

        24Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.

      • The Steps of Good man by Jack Marti 
    • Ps 37:27 another GoTo verse
      • (KJV)27Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
    • Ps 37:28-29 talks about our future in God
    • Ps 37:30-31  tells more about the character of the follower of God in Christ
      • The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom;
        his tongue speaks what is just.
        31 The instruction of his God is in his heart;
        his steps do not falter.
      • this is because we have hidden His word in our hearts
        • 11I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

    • Ps 37:37 – a word of wisdom – watch the blameless, watch the man of peace, they will have a future
    • Ps 37:39-40 Is a promise of refuge, Salvation and Deliverance from the Lord
  • Psalm 67 -a prayer
    • Ps 67:1- 2
      • May God be gracious to us and bless us;
        look on us with favorSelah
        so that Your way may be known on earth,
        Your salvation among all nations.
  • Psalm 97 – Several GoTo verses
    • Ps 97:1 GoTo Verse – choose  your  version  from  BibleHub.com
      • (ESV) 1The LORD reigneth; let the earth rejoice; let the multitude of isles be glad.
    • Ps 97:2-6 Glorifying the Great God Jehovah
    • Ps 97:8-9 Praise
    • Ps 97:10 GoTo Verse – all or just the first part!
      • You who love the Lord, hate evil!
        He protects the lives of His godly ones;
        He rescues them from the power of the wicked.
    • Ps 97:11-12 Beautiful Praise
      • Light dawns[c][d] for the righteous,
        gladness for the upright in heart.
        12 Be glad in Yahweh, you righteous ones,
        and praise His holy name.[e]
  • Psalm 127 – a song about wisdom and grace
    • Ps 127:1-2 GoTo Verse, all or first part. choose your version from BibleHub.
      • (HCSB) Unless the Lord builds a house,
        its builders labor over it in vain;
        unless the Lord watches over a city,
        the watchman stays alert in vain.
    • Ps 127:3-5 – the Joy of having children
      • (AMP)

        3Behold, children are a heritage and gift from the LORD, The fruit of the womb a reward.

  • Proverb 7 
    • Pr 7:1-5 a plea for the child to seek out wisdom and to hold on
      • part of the training of a child – teach them the Bible
    • Pr 7:6-27 more on the danger of the harlot
    • The American Bible Society has a great study on how to flee from sin.

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

open Bible

2023 First 100 days – day 6 – reading Wisdom and Praise

2023 First 100 days day 6, January 6

prayer

Image by reenablack from Pixabay

Wisdom and Praise Readings
Psalms 6, 36, 66, 96, 126, Proverbs 6

We’re still in David’s Prayer Journal and he’s asking for forgiveness.  It’s a great illustration of how to come before the Lord when we have messed up.

There are several songs that I’m going to share with you from several of these Psalms.  Learning scripture songs helps me to memorize scripture, as well as they seem to come back to me in times of need.

Of course Proverbs has some great wisdom for us on how to successfully live our life.

Let’s dig in!

  • Psalms 6 – Prayer for forgiveness
    • Psalm 6:1-3 Pleading with God
      • Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger;
        do not discipline me in Your wrath.
        Be gracious to me, Lord, for I am weak;[a]
        heal me, Lord, for my bones are shaking;
    • PS 6:4-5 declaration of what he wants with a little negotiation.
      • Turn, Lord! Rescue me;
        save me because of Your faithful love.
        For there is no remembrance of You in death;
        who can thank You in Sheol?
    • Ps 6:6-7 The conviction and Repentance declared
      •  am weary from my groaning;
        with my tears I dampen my pillow[b]
        and drench my bed every night.
      • this could also be a prayer for deliverance – when times are so tough that we cry out by crying
    • Ps 6:8 setting boundaries
      • Depart from me, all evildoers,
        for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
    • Ps 6:9 declaration of faith
      • The Lord has heard my plea for help;
        the Lord accepts my prayer.
  • Psalm 36 – a song from my youth
    • Ps 36:1-4 definition of a wicked man
      • An oracle within my heart
        concerning the transgression of the wicked person:
        There is no dread of God before his eyes,
        for in his own eyes he flatters himself too much
        to discover and hate his sin.
        The words of his mouth are malicious and deceptive;
        he has stopped acting wisely and doing good.
        Even on his bed he makes malicious plans.
        He sets himself on a path that is not good
        and does not reject evil.
    • Psalm 36:5-9
      •  5Thy lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens,
                    Thy faithfulness reaches to the skies.

             6Thy righteousness is like the mountains of God;
                    Thy judgments are like a great deep.
                    O LORD, Thou preservest man and beast.

             7How precious is Thy lovingkindness, O God!
                    And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Thy wings.

             8They drink their fill of the abundance of Thy house;
                    And Thou dost give them to drink of the river of Thy delights.

             9For with Thee is the fountain of life;
                    In Thy light we see light.

      • The Ps 36 Song by Don Moen!
    • Psalm 66 – Praise to God for Deliverance!
      • Ps 66:1-4
        • Shout joyfully to God, all the earth!
          Sing about the glory of His name;
          make His praise glorious.
      • Ps 66:5-9 recounts the Exodus deliverance
      • Ps 66:10-12 refinement
        • 12 For You, God, tested us;
          You refined us as silver is refined.
        • Psalm 12:6 (KJV)
          • The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
        • 1 Peter 1:7 (WBT)
          • That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though tried with fire, might be found to praise, and honor, and glory, at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
      • Ps 66:13 – 15 – declaration of fellowship
        • 13 I will enter Your house with burnt offerings;
          I will pay You my vows
          14 that my lips promised
          and my mouth spoke during my distress.
      • Psalm 66:16-20  Sharing what God has done.
        • 20a Go To verse! May God be praised!
          He has not turned away my prayer
          or turned His faithful love from me.
  • Psalm 96 – another Song!  This is the Jewish song book!
    • Ps 96:1-6 
      • Sing a new song to the Lord;
        sing to the Lord, all the earth.
        Sing to Yahweh, praise His name;
        proclaim His salvation from day to day.
        Declare His glory among the nations,
        His wonderful works among all peoples. 
      • Song to the Lord Psalm 96
      • Psalm 96 by Sons of Korah
    • Ps 96:7-10 (NKJV) a cute little worship song that I tried to sing to you  on the video.
      • Give[b] to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
        Give to the Lord glory and strength.
        8[c]Give to the Lord the glory due His name;
        Bring an offering, and come into His courts.
        9Oh, worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness!
        Tremble before Him, all the earth.
    • Ps 96:11-13  Nature sings His Praise
      • Let the heavens be glad and the earth rejoice;
        let the sea and all that fills it resound.
        12 Let the fields and everything in them exult.
        Then all the trees of the forest will shout for joy
  • Psalm 126 – Praise for Restoration
    • Ps 126:3 Go To Verse
      • The Lord had done great things for us;
        we were joyful.
open Bible

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

 

God speaks on Adultery a lot.  There’s so much that gets damaged when married couples are unfaithful.

We are the Bride of Christ – He is the Bridegroom.  We are betrothed to Him.

Revelation 19:7

Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has prepared herself

.

As Christ’s bride, we are to prepare ourselves. Ephesian 5:25-27

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.

Even if we don’t have a husband we are not free and clear of preparing ourselves. Now – here’s my point.

  • What does all the warnings about adulterous situations have to do with those of us and our relationship with God?
    • If we put anything between us and God that is idolatry, right?
    • If we put someone else between us and our partner, that’s adultery, right?
    • If Jesus is our husband, and we put something between us and Him – it’s SPRITUAL ADULTERY
  • GOD HATES ADULTERY AS MUCH AS IDOLATRY!
    • When we put something as more important than God in our lives, GOD is the wounded partner.
      • It breaks His heart.

So even if you have no intention of being unfaithful to you partner – check yourself about things that have become more important than God in your life, and repent.

Here’s a song that will lift your heart after that warning!

I will Celebrate by Don Moen

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2023 First 100 days – day 5 Reading Wisdom and Praise

2023 First 100 Days, Day 5, January 5

Image by Pexels from Pixabay


Wisdom and Praise Reading
Psalm 5, 35, 65, 95, 125 and Proverbs 5

Today, there is a lot about praying, and settling your mind, or setting your heart for the attitude of the day.  There is continued praying. Many of these are David’s prayer journal entries.  We can learn about heart attitudes from them, and take verses to strengthen our hearts in times of trial, depression and despair, as well as how to find joy in every situation and detail of life.

  •  Psalm 5 – Again, Crying out to God to be heard
    • Day 2, Day 3, Day 4
    • Psalm 5:1-2 Cry out
      • Listen to my words, Lord;
        consider my sighing.
        Pay attention to the sound of my cry,
        my King and my God,
        for I pray to You.
    • Psalm 5:3 Confession of faith
      • At daybreak, Lord, You hear my voice;
        at daybreak I plead my case to You and watch expectantly.
    • Psalm 5:4-6 listing things that come between us and God
    • Psalm 5:7 declaring that we can enter in
      • But I enter Your house
        by the abundance of Your faithful love;
        I bow down toward Your holy temple
        in reverential awe of You.
    • Psalm 5 continues with a request to be led in righteousness
    • Psalm 5:11-12 declaration of faith
      • But let all who take refuge in You rejoice;
        let them shout for joy forever.
        May You shelter them,
        and may those who love Your name boast about You.
        12 For You, Lord, bless the righteous one;
        You surround him with favor like a shield.
  • Psalm 35 – A longer Psalm, again, from David’s Prayer Journal
    • Psalm 35: 1-8 Prayers for deliverance and a defender
      • 1 – Oppose my opponents, Lord;
        fight those who fight me.
    • Psalm 35: 9-10 Declaring victory
      • Then I will rejoice in the Lord;
        I will delight in His deliverance.
        10 My very bones will say,
        Lord, who is like You,
        rescuing the poor from one too strong for him,
        the poor or the needy from one who robs him?”
    • Psalm 35:13-14 an attitude towards our enemies
      • Prayer – 
      • when prayer is not answered, go to fasting
      • FOR OUR ENEMIES – do we do this for our family and friends?
    • Psalm 35:18 – a “go to” verse to declare in times of trouble
      • I will praise You in the great congregation;
        I will exalt You among many people.
    • Psalm 35:28 – a “go to” verse to declare to the Lord
      • And my tongue will proclaim Your righteousness,
        Your praise all day long.
    • Psalm 65 – sort of follows the Our Father – 
      • Matthew 6:9 -13 (RSV)
        •  Pray then like this:

          Our Father who art in heaven,
          Hallowed be thy name.
          10 Thy kingdom come,
          Thy will be done,
              On earth as it is in heaven.
          11 Give us this day our daily bread;[a]
          12 And forgive us our debts,
              As we also have forgiven our debtors;
          13 And lead us not into temptation,
              But deliver us from evil.[b]

        • Psalm 65: 1 – Our Father who art in Heaven
          • Praise is rightfully Yours,[a]
            God, in Zion;
            vows to You will be fulfilled.
        • Psalm 65:2 Thy Kingdom come thy will be done on earth
          • All humanity will come to You,
            the One who hears prayer.
        • Psalm 65:3 forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors
          • Iniquities overwhelm me;
            only You can atone for[b] our rebellions.
        • Psalm 65:4 Give us this day our daily bread & thy Kingdom come on earth
          • How happy is the one You choose
            and bring near to live in Your courts!
            We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,
            the holiness of Your temple.[c]
        • Psalm 65 5-13 is a declaration of the Creator God
    • Psalm 95 the first 7 verses are a song that I have sung, but I cannot find the music.  So I will share several that I have found:
      • Psalm 95:8-11  God pleading to man to come to Him
        • Hebrews 3:13
          • But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
        • Romans 2:5
          • But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;
    • Psalm 125 – a song 
      • Ps 125:1-2 a Song, I sing on the video above. Here are other optios
      • Psalm 125:4-5 a Prayer
        • Do what is good, Lord, to the good,

          to those whose hearts are upright.
          But as for those who turn aside to crooked ways,
          the Lord will banish them with the evildoers.

          Peace be with Israel.

           

Proverbs 5 – counsel to avoid the wicked woman – or to avoid being with an adulteress, and to avoid being unfaithful.  It describes the suffering that happens when one is loose with their sexual self.

Image by Myriams-Fotos from Pixabay

There are many things in today’s readings. Some “go to” verses. Some songs. Prayers. Declarations of Faith. And then, counsel to keep yourself pure, and faithful. I hope that this has tweaked or tickled your mind on these readings and that you have found something from today to take with you, for now and forever.

 

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2023 First 100 days – day 4 Reading Wisdom and Praise

2023 First 100 days – Wisdom and Praise day 4

(first 100 days day 4)


Ps 4, 34, 64, 94, 124 and Proverbs 4

Today’s readings in Psalms have similarities. They all deal with crying out in distress, asking for help and answered prayer, and they end with a beautiful declaration.

Proverbs continues to give us counsel on how to be wise.

  • Psalm 4 – a cry in distress with a declaration of faith
    • 1 Answer me when I call,
      God, who vindicates me.[a]
      You freed me from affliction;
      be gracious to me and hear my prayer.
    • 7 You have put more joy in my heart
      than they have when their grain and new wine abound.
      I will both lie down and sleep in peace,
      for You alone, Lord, make me live in safety.
  • Psalm 34 – Response to Psalm 4
    • 4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me
      and delivered me from all my fears.
  • Psalm 34 – many “go to” verses to hide in our heart
    • 1-2 I[b] will praise the Lord at all times;
      His praise will always be on my lips.
      I will boast in the Lord;
      the humble will hear and be glad.
    • 7 The Angel of the Lord encamps
      around those who fear Him, and rescues them.
    • 8 Taste and see that the Lord is good.
      How happy is the man who takes refuge in Him!
    • 13-14 Keep your tongue from evil
      and your lips from deceitful speech.
      14 Turn away from evil and do what is good;
      seek peace and pursue it.
    • hope when in despair – The Lord is near the brokenhearted;
      He saves those crushed in spirit.
  • Psalm 64  – a longer version of Ps 4
    • 1 God, hear my voice when I complain.
      Protect my life from the terror of the enemy.
    • 10 The righteous one rejoices in the Lord
      and takes refuge in Him;
      all those who are upright in heart
      will offer praise.
  • Psalm 94 – God is a just God
    • fair is that every gets equally, just is that it’s based on legal requirements
    • God is a judge, and He judges good and evil based on His laws.
    • mercy is that we are not dealt with according to our transgressions, no punishment is applied.
    • grace is that we are able to come before a Holy God and make the requests and out cries of Psalm 4, and Psalm 64 or any other out cry in distress, because if we were judged according to our transgressions, we would not be able to stand before a Holy God.
    • Psalm 94 training
      • 12 Lord, happy is the man You discipline
        and teach from Your law
        13 to give him relief from troubled times
        until a pit is dug for the wicked.
    • Psalm 94 my defender
      • 16 Who stands up for me against the wicked?
        Who takes a stand for me against evildoers?
    • Psalm 94 My protector from suicide
      • 17 If the Lord had not been my helper,
        I would soon rest in the silence of death.
        18 If I say, “My foot is slipping,”
        Your faithful love will support me, Lord.
        19 When I am filled with cares,
        Your comfort brings me joy.
  • Psalm 124 – declaration of Deliverance
    • 6 Praise the Lord,
      who has not let us be ripped apart by their teeth.
      We have escaped like a bird from the hunter’s net;
      the net is torn, and we have escaped.
      Our help is in the name of Yahweh,
      the Maker of heaven and earth.
  • Proverbs 4 – Still talking about listening and learning to be wise.
    • Pr 4 – the beauty of wisdom
      • 5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
        don’t forget or turn away from the words of my mouth.
        Don’t abandon wisdom, and she will watch over you;
        love her, and she will guard you.
        Wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom.
        And whatever else you get, get understanding.
        Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
        if you embrace her, she will honor you.
        She will place a garland of grace on your head;
        she will give you a crown of beauty.”
    • Pr 4 two paths of which to choose
      • 18 The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
        shining brighter and brighter until midday.
        19 But the way of the wicked is like the darkest gloom;
        they don’t know what makes them stumble.
    • Pr 4 the most important point
      • 23 Guard your heart above all else,[a]
        for it is the source of life. 

 There are  many “go to” verses to memorize in today’s readings.  What I mean by a “go to” verse is something that touches my heart and is important for me to remember in times of trouble, stress, depression, suicidal thoughts, pain and many more.  

Another reason is Psalm 119:11

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

The cries for deliverance in these psalms also point out the need to be in a right relationship with the God of the universe through His son Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of us.  

Is there something from today’s readings that you would like to memorize?  Let me know.  If you have trouble with memorizing, ask me for help.  I have several methods I’ve used over the years.  The most successful one, though is having the verses put to music and singing it all day long.  

Psalm 63:7  NIV

Because you are my help,
    I sing in the shadow of your wings.

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

My One Word – Let Go with Gabby?

Let go
Letting go of the concept of perfection.
How does that apply to my service dog Gabby?

When Gabby was presented to me as an option I knew nothing about poodles and the only thing I knew about Labradors was that I had had one when I was 12 years old. I didn’t know about doodles and that labradoodles were different personalities than golden doodles and that personality traits came from their parentage. I knew NOTHING.

That’s about as far as I’m gonna go with the whole genetics thing and parenting.

(for those interested in getting a service dog for their disability – here is a place where I could have obtained much information on getting started with a dog search!)

When I went to meet her there were 3 that the “breeders” thought fit the criteria based on the temperament test article that I sent the breeders. Now these breeders were a family that had a poodle and a doodle and before they did any neutering they wanted the female to have puppies.

They definitely weren’t breeders because before they realized it they had an “oops” litter. I met Gabby’s older sister at a psychiatric service dog partner’s convention. I didn’t realize that observing a dog that had been under intense training for the 1st 9 months of their life was not necessarily the best indicator for what their younger sibling would have with my range of training. Again, I knew NOTHING!

I had just learned about temperament training from Psychiatric Service Dog Partners. My 1st service dog was basically a unicorn that I found at the pound that alerted to my heart rate and my diabetes naturally and we just trained him everything else and he was perfect. I really wasn’t looking forward to going to dog shelter after dog shelter seeing if one of them would automatically alert to my sugar or my heart rate.

Enter the thought of getting a puppy that I could bond with early.
In 2019.
I met the 3 dogs, Puppies.
Gabby passed the temperament test.
I didn’t have a clue about doing a temperament test on the parents.
I didn’t have a clue that a heightened sense of curiosity could cause me problems down the road getting her to let go of something she’s hyper focused on.
All I was concerned on was that she had a good bill of health which she did.

But I didn’t have any idea about possible stomach issues, and needing to feed special feed.

Then I shattered my shoulder before she was 4 months old.
All of her early socialization had to deal with her off my lap because I was in excruciating pain, done by others who didn’t really understand the socialization concept, and one person that decided it was funny to encourage her desire to chase after birds and squirrels(this is genetic in a dog that is bred from two hunting breeds).
No one has ever seemed to understand my concept of how a dog should walk with me. Not with my 1st service dog and definitely not with my puppy.

Once I started training her, Covid hit. Now we couldn’t go meet other dogs, we couldn’t go meet other people, we couldn’t go to group training sessions. She and I did virtual classes but there is nothing like having a seasoned trainer see you working with the dog and picking up on something you may not and helping you to fine tune things.

For many things Gabby loved learning.
Gabby was very curious.
And the grandchildren next door were continually more than she could handle to pull her attention away from.

3 years later, Gabby still has a very heightened curiosity. She has learned to settle in many situations from a heightened activity, But not distraction.

I wonder if her parents had these tendencies because they were left to run free on a property In upstate New York. They could explore to their hearts content. And if I recall they didn’t exactly have the best recall.

Is this genetics?
Is this environmental?
Is this my failure as a trainer?

One thing I know, I have to let go of perfectionism for Gabby. She’s a living creature. And to do her job she has to have some freedom to read a situation and make a decision. She cannot be a robot.

My current training came to a screeching halt because of stomach issues. We did scans, xrays, tests. “It’s poodle stomach” I’ve heard over and over again. I had NOTHING I could give her as a food treat to tweak her training. I couldn’t sign up with a trainer, because they always ask for a list of various level treats with which to reward (entice, bribe) Gabby. I was struggling. Gabby needed continual reminders, as do all dogs, and I was not able to give her the simple treats.

I had to let go of my manner of rewarding Gabby. EVERYONE uses treats. I’m very blessed that Gabby LOVES to be scritched on the head and kissed on the nose and told good girl!!! Her come isn’t perfect, and my training hasn’t been perfect, but she’s amazig.


Another thing I know is that I hold myself to a very high standard and I demand that I am perfect in all of my interactions with Gabby and I am constantly disappointing myself. I need to let go of perfectionism for myself. There are times that I am in pain and I cannot bend over the give Gabby the skritch and kiss. There are times I get lost in thought, and the only thing I work on is her pulling, staying within the leash length, or walking right next to me. When I am lost in thought, she usually sees the squirrels before me – and I don’t have the time to cue her “Leave It” and “walk on”. I’m not perfect.

Why am I wondering about this right now? I have found a training program for Gabby and I, And I need to make sure that I don’t have unrealistic expectations for Gabby and that I don’t tear myself up so much that I can’t be the handler that she needs.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.
I’m letting go of ways that don’t work or have not been completely successful.
I’m adding on the help of a professional.
And I’m trying to wrap it all up with grace for both of us.

When I write about my dog, I will share links that will help you to make informed decisions. For this journey with Gabriella Grace, The Psychiatric Service Dog Partners has been amazing. The are an all volunteer, Non-profit organization advocating and educating about Service Dogs, and specifically Psychiatric Service Dogs.  Gabby is a Psychiatric Service dog that alerts to my anxieties, pulls me out of isolation and tickles me when I am getting depressed.  I’ve written about my anxiety, depression, and suicide on this website. Having a Psychiatric Service Dog is a lifeline for me.

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.