This contains many photos of our trip for surgery.

In January, the Lord gave me this word to meditate upon this year.
Prepare

In 2014, we weren’t prepared to deal with cancer.
We chose a procedure that had a 98% cure rate…as in, no recurrence. It is called HIFU.
At that time, it was not approved in the United States.
In 2015, February, we made out of pocket, traveled to Cancun, Mexico, to receive this state of the art procedure to treat Prostate cancer.
January 2016, the PSA let us know that we were not in the 98%.
So, we started to research options.
From January, to August, the PSA rose from 1.7 to 5.6. In the last few months, it doubled. It was time to do something, but, what?

By now, the procedure had been FDA approved, but not insurance covered. So, still out of pocket. In the meantime, I started doing intense research on the prostate, and what nutritional options would strengthen Jim’s body to fight off this enemy.
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James 1:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

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In September, We went to see the doctor and obtain biopsies in order to make sure that we have all the options for any future need for cancer treatments.
We were told that November 29th was the date that was open. We were waiting for confirmation, and working to handle our money in order to pay for this procedure.

In addition to choosing to repeat the HIFU, we wanted to get a second opinion for the cancer treatment – and we went through the process of setting up a visit to Cancer Treatment Centers of America, their prostate division based in Atlanta.

We were scheduled for August 17-21. We would be flown in, and see the medical team Thursday, Friday, then stay over the weekend, and get the final recommendations on Monday. We were working with the travel team, the medical information team and everyone at that center.

One week before our trip, we spoke with the Nurse Navigator. We discussed the HIFU done in February 2015, and let her know that we were planning on doing a repeat to eradicate the remission.
She took our information to the medical director who then said that we were not a good fit for their program.
Why?
Jim had not jumped up on a surgery table when his PSA was at 5 when he was 50.
Jim had undergone HIFU without biopsies, based upon Dr. Wheeler’s explanation of Prostate Cancer development, and because of the incidence of track back metastisis at the site of biopsies.
We based it upon a specialized MRI system that indicated the dubious nature of the mass – even though it was in a very difficult place to be found by biopsies.
We did not follow the CTCA procedure. Of course not, we weren’t their patient! So, they denied us the opportunity to ask questions about traditional treatments, to talk with naturopath and nutritionist about how to combat the side effects, and to strengthen Jim’s body to fight cancer.

This was like a punch in the stomach. We didn’t know what the Lord was up to, but at least we knew that we were not going to go to Atlanta.
Then, fires around Atlanta. The city was dealing with the smoke just as we were going to be there. That seemed like a good enough reason for God to change that plan. I don’t do well in smoke filled areas.

Every good gift comes from the Father of Lights…

We went ahead and sent part of the downpayment for Jim’s treatment at the end of November, and we were working on obtaining other funding. I even was a bit rough on Doc about the date…when??? November 29th, but many things need to be orchestrated – please be patient. That was the conversation on Wednesday, November 16.

Friday, November 18, before noon, we got the call that the place had been set up, and we were scheduled for Sunday, November 20. At 9am. WHAT?!?! So, we cleared out schedules, and left for St. Augustine on Friday evening. I had just unpacked my suitcase from my plans to be in Boston. Now, I just had to put those clothes back into the suitcase! I threw most of next weeks groceries I’d just purchased into the freezer!

If we had gone to Atlanta as planned, for the CTCA consult, we would not have been available for this opening! We would have been sitting around Atlanta watching the forest burn, instead of burning out the cancer.

We arrived into the hotel in St. Augustine Beach around 8. We ate at Wendy’s because it was so late.

 

Saturday, November 19, I woke up barely able to keep back tears. I did not have any peace about the procedure, but Jim was freaking out enough that I needed to stay calm.

We had breakfast at a local eatery, and Jim started on his clear liquid diet.

 

We did have to find some clear liquid options – which ended up being cartons of bone broth and green jello.

Mostly, Jim drank water. water. water.

First, we explored Palatka.

This is where the specialists have their out patient clinic, and more importantly,
the Ablatherm HIFU machine.

 

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

We traveled around St Augustine, took photos, and just basically spent time enjoying each other.

Fort Matanzas,

 

Crescent Beach – just across the road.

We had not been in the hotel very long when we got the call that the anesthesiologist had been called back home, and that the procedure was canceled for Sunday. “Go ahead and eat some supper, breakfast tomorrow, then clear liquids again after 10, and nothing by mouth after midnight. You are scheduled for noon on Monday.”
I guess God wanted a different anesthesiologist for the procedure.

Exodus 31 – God set apart specific ones for specific giftings

We went to Applebees, because of the burgers.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified

 

It was so beautiful out, that we took a walk along this St Augustine Beach community.(Christmas lights at the beach)

We walked out on the dark, and looked at the stars!

Then we finished our Christmas Lights walk!
 

We returned to the frog place for breakfast. Jim really enjoyed their omelet.

Then, we  spent Sunday driving around, enjoying the sights, and each other.

Monday morning, enemas, and take off for Palatka, Florida.
I was very nervous, very sensitive – and I felt like I was going to fall into a crying fit at any minute. But I needed to be strong for Jim.
As we were waiting, with Jim in the spiffy paper gown,

we overheard the conversation between the engineer and the doctor about the machine. A cable was not working correctly on the machine. The one that connected the ultrasound to the HIFU machine was dead. It had been working just fine on Saturday. It’s canceled for mechanical reasons.

What? Ok.
“Better before than during” – Jim said, after he took a moment.

“the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”Philippians 4:7.

Nerves?
Yes.
Disappointed?
Completely.
Confused?
You bet.

Jim’s comment:

It’s really futile to complain that something is not going right when you are listening to “The Sovereignty of God” by AW Pink

How’s this for preparation – I had brought my medicines for up to one extra day, through Tuesday. I will run out Tuesday evening, and Wednesday morning. Oops. I know I heard a voice in my head telling me to fill in the whole medicine container! I didn’t listen. “I’ll be home – there’s no way that we would be here past Tuesday!” Yeah, Right! Another lesson to LISTEN!

We took another drive.

So, today(I wrote this while waiting for him during the surgery), Tuesday, enemas again. Jim should be very cleaned out by now!

At 9am, we arrived at the clinic again.
The office nurse is not here.
The office doctor came in, then left, and did not unlock the medicine cabinet.
Whew. I’m not telling Jim what I’ve overheard this time.
Jim’s snapping – and who can blame him? He’s not angry, he’s just very guarded. He’s so tired. Very hungry. Tired of drinking bone broth and eating jello!
More nervous than he was any of the previous days. And again, who can blame him?
Jim went out for a walk, and I was not sure if he would come back in.

I found the gown for him this time.
I found the chux to put under him on the chair.
I’ve sat watching the doc, the technician, the anesthesiolgist looking through the cabinets and such in this office. I have heard the doctor say that he didn’t have the catheters that he is used to using.
And then, I was asked to go sit in the waiting room. Of course, that is probably better for me anyway, because I could hear almost everything that they were saying. Now, they could have closed additional doors, but, I was struggling between being able to know what was going on, and being somewhere peaceful!

Prepare for this? HOW?
Be wrapped in the word of God.
Jim played some scripture music as we were on our way here.
I’m focusing on the scriptures while I’m waiting.

Storms?
This feels like a hurricane that just keeps swirling around and coming back and hitting again.
And each time, I feel weaker – and yet, maybe this feeling of being resigned to the Lord’s hand, is exactly where I need to be.
Waiting in the palm of God’s hand.

I met the couple that are going after Jim. Mike and Sandy Norris.
A very sweet couple.
We discussed how we all got here.
We discussed how we believed that God’s hand was in these delays.
I’m so grateful for Christians to sit with.

Post Procedure

• He had much difficulty with the intubation – almost called off the procedure.
  If not for the new anesthesiologist – this would have been canceled.
• Jim was difficult to wake up – if not for this very skilled anesthesiologist, we may have ended up at the hospital across the street.
• Jim could not have the same type of catheter…the had to have one through his abdomen.
  If not for the experienced Doctor, this could have been a serious complication.
• Considering the stress of all the delays, Jim’s blood pressure remained safe.
  His oxygen even remained 98 and above!

Jim has some wins as well.

Jim was not happy with the placement of the catheter, but, when one is under anesthesia, one cannot understand all the things the doctor explains.

The upside is that the doctor said that he was able to do everything that he wanted to do and that the tissue responded so well, just melting instantly, that he didn’t even go around to do some other areas that were ‘just in case’.
Now, it’s a different type of recovery than the first time. But recover, we shall!

I’m trying to finish this the following week.
To be honest, we are still struggling, which is why this blog is a week late.

The doctor that was supposed to follow up with Jim, and in fact, talked to him on Wednesday, giving him great calming advice, decided on Monday that Jim was not a candidate for his practice.
WHAT? We were just IN his clinic! He’d been talking to us, and gave Jim his cell phone number! And talked to him on said cell phone!

Disappointed?
Yeah!
Confused?
Completely.
Jim was completely frustrated, potentially angry, but I was not with him, because my leg had given out.

Same day – I found out that my pain doctor may not take me back because I’d rescheduled 2 appointments over the last year, and cancelled one. Not one no show…but, still, I was told that she could not schedule me until he looked over my chart and decided he still wanted me for a patient. WHAT? now it’s wrong to reschedule or cancel appointments?

Angry?
you bet.
And I fell apart.
I was trying very hard not to cry as I went in to see my doctor, and ask for pain meds!

I did get in to see my PCP, and she gave me a new medicine for the pain in my hip. One that will not have the side effects that the previous one had. Surprise? IT WORKS BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE WITH A PAIN PILL! No pain pills! No pain! And sleep, precious sleep.

How do you prepare for surprises?
You put your faith in the Lord, and you dwell on His word, and you join together, and remind each other that we are a team, Jim, me and God.

Isaiah 54:17
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

I found this devotional on Isaiah 54:17 by James MacDonald
It reminds me of everything that I believe about God walking with us through storms.

And another devotional about preparing for warfare came with this graphic above. From ChristiansTT, it teaches about warfare in prayer.

The point is, just because we don’t know the answer – our faith tells us that we know the ONE that holds the ANSWER in His hand.
If we did not believe this – we would not be where we are today.
We would both be locked up in a hospital for not being able to think straight!

• Our lives are not perfect, but we live in the One Who is.
• they are riddled with sin, but woven with mercy.
• they are encumbered with guilt, but awash with grace.
• they are surrounded with storms, but enveloped with his words “Peace, be still”.
• HE holds us together…without the Love of God through Jesus Christ – we would not be able to handle the storms.

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom,
and the Power
and the Glory,
Forever.
Amen.

We celebrated Thanksgiving by giving thanks that the Lord is in His house, and in our hearts.
We celebrate Advent, by remembering that many before us have waited to see God’s hand move on their behalf.
We will celebrate Christmas, by thanking the Creator of the Universe for choosing to give of Himself to win us back to Him.
My studies in Prepare this year have been very appropriate.
My studies in Psalm 23 have been very personal.
My heart is that you will be blessed by something in my life stories.

Thank you for sharing them with me.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank

• Blue Letter Bible and
• Bible Gateway and
• Bible Hub

for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

• Naomi’s Heart Ministries
• Obed’s House Ministries
• Compassion