Tag Archives: Darkness

The First 100 days – day 25 – depression

Job 3:1-4 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day. And Job spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night [in which] it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

In my life, I am responsible for my choices.

In my life, my choices affect others.

When my choices affect others in a negative way, I get sad.

When my choices affect others in a negative way, and I cannot fix it…I get depressed.

Depression is a disease. I have what is called Major Depressive Disorder, or Unipolar Depression. In me, it’s mostly under control now, but sometimes, it sneaks up on me like a snake in tall grass..

The problem with an issue that causes depression flare ups, is that sometimes, the issue doesn’t make any sense to anyone other than me(the depressive person). It’s like a washing machine going around and around in my head…getting faster and faster…and everyone else is on the outside saying “just turn it off”. Hello – there’s no off switch on the inside of the washer!!!!

Job 3:20-24 “Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery? They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure. It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.

I’m not suicidal – this time. Though as I wrote in my prior essay on Job, I have been there…countless times.

So – cutting doesn’t work.

drugs doesn’t work.

alcohol doesn’t work

Suicide won’t work.

Binge eating won’t work.

Movie marathons don’t work.

Crying just comes…tears just roll down my cheeks….

I can’t concentrate on my blog in progress.

I don’t want to eat(not a really bad thing for me).

I am overwhelmed with “I HAVE FAILED, AGAIN” feelings.

The ‘silly’ issues are so huge.

Giving up my books – they have been a grounding point for me all through my struggles since the memories triggered the depression.

Not being able to provide Jim with a lovely home in the RV…

Not being able to be focused in one mindset….being double minded(in more ways than one).

I have no faith in me.

Which means, I have no faith in God’s ability to work in me.

Well – there’s another Christi failure.

Sarah.

Rachel.

Rahab.

Three female failures that God used.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Depression is a valley in the shadow of death. That’s the truth.

Jesus walks with me in the valley. That’s truth.

I have spent money on things that stare me in the face…money that could have been spent on something better…money that could have done more good. But I chose to spend that money, because I thought it was the right thing to do in the circumstance. I made the choice I thought was right, given the information I had at the time. So, now, looking back, I regret that I didn’t have prophetic wisdom?

So, now my cry is…am I hearing God’s voice?

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

The Israelite’s knew when God wasn’t with them…they went out and fought, and if they lost even 1 man…they came back and fell on their knees to the Lord. But even after repenting.. that one man, 10 men, 30 men, were still dead.

That’s the thing about messing up…circumstances remain.

Sarah had Hagar and Ishmael to deal with – and look at what that has done to our world.

Rebekah deceived her husband, and didn’t live to see Jacob and his children, and the deception send Esau towards the Ishmaelites…more enemies for the Jews.

Rachel brought the idols away from her father’s house…interestingly, she died in childbirth.

Peter denied Christ…and almost gave up.

Stephen was still dead when Saul turned to Paul.

Our circumstances always follow us…as signs saying

DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!!!

Prov 26:2 As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.

I’ll straighten out that KJV –

a curse doesn’t come without a cause.
A curse that comes is not without cause.
If a curse comes, there is a cause.

I’m not saying that I am cursed….I’m saying that circumstances come for a reason. Deut 28 is a great chapter to see cause and effect. Proverbs is good, too!

Prov 26:6 He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, [and] drinketh damage.

Prov 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, [so] a fool returneth to his folly.

BUT GOD!

As I was looking at the cause and effect of my choices, an angel called. Yes, an angel named Faith called me on the phone. Since she is my daughter, with a newborn baby, married to a soldier that is away for the week, I had promised her that I would answer the phone when she called. I try to always keep my promises, no matter how sad I feel.

Faith was my Elihu. And because of her ability to speak the truth, in love, I was able to hear the Lord’s voice and walk out of this valley of the shadow of death.

I have had to endure the Lord speaking to me out of a whirlwind before…of course, I think I was the one that created the whirlwind of chaos!

Today, through prayer, and crying out as I searched through the scriptures, God answered me through the sweet sounds of our daughter. She was even used as a rod in God’s hands to point out a blind spot – that I was able to repent over, and be freed from that bondage. I was also able to hear the real size of the issues, and rest in the Lord, to be content in peace.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

I have a thorn in my flesh – like Paul – though not for the same reason: 2 Cor 12:7 – And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

But more so that in my weakness, I can turn to HIM. 2 Cor 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This ‘infirmity’ may never leave me. But neither will the Lord Jesus Christ.

Is 41:10 NLT Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Is 41:13 NLT I am holding you by your right hand–I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, `Do not be afraid. I am here to help you.

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior be honor and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25

With this kind of God – and the enormous love He sheds upon me – how can I give up? How can I quit? I can…but I am compelled by His great love – to love. I love, because He first loved me(1 John 4:19).

I do have past mistakes, and I’m pretty sure I will make future mistakes, and I have even made mistakes today. But God knew all about them, and MY God is BIG enough to handle MY mistakes, an make sure that all things work together for my good and His glory! Anything less is a lack of faith…as in, my God is too small. I got to let Him out of the box I keep putting Him in! It’s when I let HIM be God that I truly enjoy the joy of the Lord.

I praise God that He had Faith call. I praise God that I had a human voice that was Jesus to me. I praise God for His great love, compassion, and patience with me.

A year ago, this may have turned out differently, but by God’s grace, I am here, and I shall live to declare the glory of God!(Ps 118:17)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

100 days challenge – moving, a dog walk
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – catching up
50 days T-Tapp – check – HD & AL

Almighty Music Video

I went to a conference and met a young man that is using his talents to further the Kingdom of God, and ministering to young people about courtship, and standing up for the unborn.

His family has produced this amazing music video. Please watch.

Abortion stops a beating heart.

I am ProChoice. Before the baby, it’s a choice. After the baby, it’s a responsibility.

For more information go to Almighty Music Video.

If you are pregnant, and need help – they have links there.

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

The First 100 Days – day 11 – I want to be like Mike!

Do you remember the commercials years ago where everyone wanted to be like Michael Jordan?
The Original:

The Remix:

Ok, what does that have to do with the Bible? Or a 50 year old, 5’2″, 250 pound me?
This quote:

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~Michael Jordan

or this quote:

If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. ~Michael Jordan

Michael was looked over in his sophomore year for basketball. He was 5’11’ and deemed too short to play.(Wikipedia) He eventually grew to 6’6″.

I’ve read that he spent hours practicing foul shots. I can’t find that right now, but the point is, Michael Jordan is what he is because of talent AND tough practice. And he was practicing before anyone even though the was good enough.

Real sports practices are tough. Just ask any football player doing “three-a-day’s” in August heat! My husband says they come home beat…then turn around and go back. Why? Because they want to be the best.

I know the girls I coached in soccer didn’t like the running around the fields, after school…even in the cold and wet. But it paid off in our 1-8 record! Ok, so I was given the unwanted team, the under-dogs, under trained, under provided for, and made fun of at every game. We won our last game…against the top team. Why? Because we practiced. We trained. We talked soccer before the game, during the game, after the game, and of course, at practices. Those girls were never so happy, as when they were jumping up and down, on that cold day, having won, their one and only game. Priceless. No one grew up to be a Mia Hamm, but I pray that victory stayed with those girls forever.

Exodus 31:1-5 Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts–to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship.

God chose someone – filled them with the Spirit of God – to be creative, to have talent.

Ex 31:6 Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given skill to all the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you:

KJV says it this way: And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee;

Then Moses went back and said – Hey Bez and Aholiab…God says you know what you’re doing, so you’re gonna oversee and build all the stuff for the Holiest place on earth!(Ex 35:30-35)

Who, ME? God called me out by name?Um, people have died when He called out their names!

The creative force upon the water in Gen 1:2 was poured out upon men.

Ex 36:2(NIV) says this Then Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the Lord had given ability and who was willing to come and do the work.

God even included those that were willing to do the work….just hold that thought.

God put within Bezaleel and Oholiab(Aholiab) special wisdom by His Spirit to be able to do special tasks for HIS Kingdom. Skills, ability and knowledge have been placed within these two for the glory of God. But where had they been practicing these skills? In Egypt!

Matthew Henry doesn’t believe that any Israelites would have been used to perform this special work in Egypt…so, therefore, it was a supernatural impartation. But when Aaron created the golden calf, he had some sort of engraving tools and knew how to do so. So, in my humble opinion, I believe that these men learned their skills at the hands of the Egyptians, who would not have desired to do such lowly tasks as creating the furnishings for themselves. They had slaves to do that. This does NOT deny the fact that giftings are imparted by the Holy Spirit. Only that some giftings come from the heat and pressures of life.

In Germany, the Jews continued to do the special crafts under the iron fists of the Nazis. In America, slaves did the elaborate sewing for the women of the plantations. In Africa, the slaves work with the diamonds from the mines. In a German cell, Dietrich Bonhoffer wrote his beautiful memoirs.

WE are the diamonds that God is working on. WE are HIS workmanship, WE are His crowning glory of creation. A naive person cannot be considered wise, because they are prevented from knowing the wisdom that comes from knowledge and choices. A diamond does not become a diamond, unless it goes through heat, fire, and pressure.

My husband has been reading a book called Outliers:The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. The book is about how talent really doesn’t matter as much as putting forth the time and effort. What he’s shared with me has been very interesting. Many of the people we consider greats in our time were people with the time, the opportunity, and the willingness to apply their aptitude to something, and it later turned out great. Bill Gates is one example.

Through the years of being a slave to Pharoah, Bezaleel learned something, and when the time came, God called upon him and said “build my tabernacle”. And he did. And he oversaw and taught others to do the same. The sad thing? Bezaleel never entered the promised land, and of course, never saw the Temple(built much, much later).

I have a friend who has suffered with many things in her life. She is an amazing artist. I know that there were years where she was housebound, a slave to her physical issues. On Feb 6, 2011, she has an art show. God has blessed her with talent, and I’m sure that her time in that slavery had an impact on her art.

Beethoven was deaf.

Michelangelo went nearly blind painting the Sistine Chapel.

Though my struggles with slavery to trauma, tragedy, and terror, I learned to paint. People have said that God has given me this talent, and I assume that would indicate God putting His Spirit upon me.

I can’t jump like Mike.
I can’t run like Eric Liddell.
I can’t kick like Mia Hamm.
I can’t write music like Handel, Mozart or Beethoven.
I can’t paint upside down like Michaelangelo, and
I am not a skilled scientist like Leonardo DaVinci.

But I can do what God has given me.

Matthew 25 starts with the tale of the foolish virgins. They all had oil to begin with, but five foolish ones didn’t do what it took to have oil to take them all the way through the night.

Then, the parable of the talents. Each person was given something, and told to make something of it before the master returned. No one knew when the master would return.

When the lacking virgins returned, they were late to the wedding, and the bridegroom said: But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.(Mat 25:12)

moral? Matt 25:13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

What happened with the servant that just hid his master’s coin in the ground?

Matt 25:26 His lord answered and said unto him, [Thou] wicked and slothful servant,
Matt 25:28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give [it] unto him which hath ten talents.
Matt 25:30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

That is a high price to pay for not cultivating the talents that God has given me. Did you hold the thought about those willing to do the work? Here’s where that comes in. It is my heart’s desire to hear a different phrase from my master when He comes.

Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.(Matt 25:23)

The ones that did the work were blessed AND ENTERED INTO THE MASTER’S/BRIDEGROOMS JOY!

Bezaleel died with the others in the 40 years wandering. He never entered into the physical promised land. I don’t know if he’s in heaven or not, but we know that only two lived to go into the promised land – Joshua and Caleb. I can’t imagine working with my hands to create the home of God here on earth, and not following through to get to see the promised land. Well, actually, yes, I can.

I have hidden the talents that God has given me for long enough. I painted one painting that stands out, and then I basically stopped.

This year is about coming out of the darkness, and bringing things into the Light. But, like Mike & Eric Liddell, I need to acknowledge that God has given me gifts. AND like Mike and Eric, I need to practice the talent God has given me. I believe that Bezaleel was chosen because he was given a talent by God, and he had practiced it, and was skilled when the time came to create for the temple. I believe that every one of us has a talent. What’s your talent? Is it still hiding under a bushel?

Shine down Your light on Me! ~ Sandi Patti

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only Wise God our Savior be glory and honor, dominion and power both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check-tackling Numbers
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check – I made lentil soup!

The First 100 Days – day 6(94 left to go)

Yesterday’s readings were in Exodus. Exodus 1- 15.

Ex 4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

The background is that God chose this man before he was born (Ps 139:13-16) as He does all of us.

Jer 1:4-5 Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Moses is a type of Christ.

Born in troubling times.
Had to be hidden from those that would kill him
Taken to a pagan culture to grow
Jesus jumped the gun when he was 12
Moses jumped the gun when he killed the Egyptian
When revealed, his country turned on him.
Jesus spent 30 years in obscurity.
Moses spent 40 years on the other side of the mountain.
Moses delivered his people from the slavery of Pharoah
Jesus delivered His people from the slavery and penalty of sin
Moses was prophesied by Jacob and Joseph
Jesus was prophesied by, well, the Old Testament!
John 3:14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

But Moses doubted his calling, even with a burning bush, heavenly voices, and all that. He told God he couldn’t do it.

And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I [am] not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I [am] slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. (Ex 4:10)

Likewise, Jeremiah, after hearing God’s words, said:

Jer 1:6 Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! behold, I cannot speak: for I [am] a child.

Even Jesus questioned before His ministry started. When Jesus was told to turn water into wine for a family wedding, he turned and told His mother “it’s not my time yet.”( John 2:4)

Other examples:

We have Jonah, and
Abraham and Sarah,
Peter,
Hosea,

and so many others that didn’t feel like they were up to the job. Even Jesus struggled with His ultimate calling:

Mark 14:34 – 42 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

AND THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE:

And he said, Abba, Father, all things [are] possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

Each of us feels weak to do what God has called us. Isn’t it interesting that we can think we are good at something, but that may not be what God has called us to do? Or what God has called us to do, we don’t feel good enough to do it?

In response to our questions, our doubts, our fears God says:

Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? Ex 4:11

And then, he lets us know that He is not going to leave us alone:

Ex 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

Jer 1:7-8 But the LORD said unto me, Say not, I [am] a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I [am] with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.

Even Jesus was encouraged by His Father before going to the cross on the Mount of Transfiguration:

Matt 17:5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.

Whatever God is asking us to do, He had a plan before we were born for us to perform it.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Whatever skills God is asking us to use, He created them within us, when he hand made our mouth, eyes, ears, hands and whatever else we may consider a liability. These are marks of GOD’s ownership of us…these are what make us special. And our weakness, disabilities, handicaps, whatever, give Him the greater glory when His works are done.

1 Cor 12:9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

If we could do it in our own strength – what glory is there for God? The greater glory, is when we give it all to the Lord, rest in Him, and just go with the flow.

1 Tim 4:14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery.

Moses delivered a lot of people…because he walked with God. Moses talked with God. Along life’s narrow way. And now he knows that:

He lives, He lives, Salvation to impart…..

You ask me how I know He lives,

He lives within my heart!

Here’s another:

Because He lives – by ignighter

And that is the point…If Jesus lives within our hearts, then we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us! (Phil 4:13)

And, we are called to be the light of the world.

Moses brought the children of Israel out of the darkness of Egypt.

Jesus brought the children of God out of the darkness of sin.

We are to give light in the darkness to call others to Him.

Shine your lights! Polish those lenses! Make white your robes, for your redemption draws nigh! Thanks for joining me on my journey.

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check.

The First 100 days – day 5

I awoke this morning to a call from our daughter in Germany, to see our grandson awake. I got to hear his coos, gurgles and squeaks, and he even listened to my voice.

It was wonderful to get to see him. And his mommy is looking so good, 5 weeks after having a baby.

It’s been rough having a new grandbaby in Germany, and not being able to be there for my daughter while she went through pregnancy, birth, and now new mothering.

When Jacob saw Joseph, after years of thinking he was dead, he almost passed out. (Gen 45:26)

It was rough for Jacob to handle the first child of his most beloved bride Rachel, was dead(Gen 44:27-31). I think he had an idea that the other’s did something(Gen 42:4), but the depression affected the rest of his life.

Joseph was made a slave, then a prisoner…because his brothers didn’t like the dreams God had given Joseph. Maybe Joseph was a bit arrogant – but the boys had other reasons to hate him – he was dad’s favorite!

When Jacob dies, all the other boys come to Joseph and basically, kiss up. Then Joseph lives out what he’s learned over the however many years as a slave in a foreign land: Gen 50:19-21

19: And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for [am] I in the place of God?

Well, yes, actually, he was, sort of. He was the ruler of all of Egypt, and he had all sorts of power. BUT he knew who he was…and now, he is humble.

20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; [but] God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as [it is] this day, to save much people alive.

The things that were done to Joseph were horrible. Reuben said he’d cried out to his brothers to save him as they handed him over to the Ishmeelites. We know what happens in prisons to young men now, and I’m sure there was a lot of fear. But,

IF the boys had not thrown him in the pit
IF the boys had not sold him to the Ismeelites
IF Potipher’s wife had not accused him
IF the baker and cupholder hadn’t forgotten for two years
THEN Joseph would not have been there to save Jacob’s line!

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

.WE KNOW..why? because of Joseph, because of Abraham, because of Isaac, because of Jonah, because of Nehemiah and Esther and Ruth! WE KNOW because we have their stories. They didn’t have the Bible to read…they only had faith to trust in God. WE HAVE THE WRITTEN WORD OF GOD! We are without excuse!

Joseph had changed. He had learned to humble himself. He had learned to forgive. And the fruit of that forgiveness is displayed in what he did next:

Gen 50:21 Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

I have struggled with God not allowing me to go to Germany to be with my daughter. I have been angry with God for not healing me so that I could travel – to Germany, or to Ethiopia for a mission trip. I have been grumpy.

I am not a slave.
I am not a prisoner.
I am not abused or mistreated.
I may be struggling with a spiritual famine!

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Matthew 6:14 – 15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Joseph is the perfect example of forgiveness, yes. But he is also the perfect example of getting a right attitude, by looking at circumstances through God’s eyes.

Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Joseph is considered a type of Christ, and his forgiveness of his brothers is so extreme…it reflects the extreme forgiveness that Christ gives all of us – WHILE WE ARE YET SINNERS!

Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

And the great thing that Christ has done, is

2Cor 4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to [give] the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 2:9-10 But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: 10 Which in time past [were] not a people, but [are] now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

It’s by HIS mercy, that HE orchestrates our lives(the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord), to complete the work He began in us. And all we are to do is to let His light shine in us, and then in turn let that light shine from us to all we meet.

Joseph made a huge impact on his family. Because of Joseph, we have the story of God! Joseph was sacrificed, and then “raised up” to save the remnant of God.

Jesus was sacrificed, and raised up, to save those that choose to believe. He has made a HUGE impact on the family of God!

Forgiving myself, and letting go of my anger at God, accepting the plan He has for my life, allows me to have joy in the skype visits with our grandson. Sacrificing my plans to yield to the Father’s plans, brings peace and contentment to my life. This will have a HUGE impact on my home life, and my mental health!

And I can then sleep in heavenly peace!

May the Lord bless you and Keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace! Num6: 24-26

In His hands and under His wings, watching for His light in my life,

~Christi

100 days of movement – check

100 days of blogging – check

90 days of Bible reading – check(next is Exodus!)

50 days of T-Tapp – check

21 days of Fasting for Food – check

The First 100 days – Day 1

In addition to the 100 day of movement, 90 days of Bible Reading, 21 days of Daniel Fast for Compassion, I have also committed to Beth Moore’s 24 Bible verses in a year.
Living Proof Ministries

Today, I sat by a lake.
Today, I stopped thinking about the verses I should memorize.

I woke up in the middle of the night, 12/31/2010 or 1/1/2011…I don’t really know. The verse that spoke loudly to me, loud enough to wake me was this:
Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Ps 119:105
We have been convicted that we are to choose LIGHT and LIFE this year, rather than Darkness and Death.

We have been convicted to remove anything that is darkness, does not conform to the image of Christ, does not help us to grow in the image of Christ, and does not bring health to our bones, from our lives.

Genesis 1:16 & 18
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: [he made] the stars also.
And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that [it was] good.
Gen 1:16 KJV/BLB

We are the lesser lights(the moon), living in the darkness of this world, and we are to shine our light (reflection of the Greater Light, the sun/Son) in the darkness.

So, this is our theme this year:
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Matthew 5:16 KJV/BLB

My memory verse:

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.
Jude 24-25 KJV/BLB

I’m totally blessed with what the Lord has set for me…I’m ready for the challenge.

Daniel Fast starts tomorrow, 1/2/11
100 days of moving – check
T-Tapp – 2 sets Hoe Downs – Check
90 days Bible – Gen 1-16 – check
100 days of Journaling – check

In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. Ps 63:7 NIV/BLB

CONVICTION!!!

I am so convicted about not being consistent…I am doing this to get God’s temple in shape…and I keep feeding my flesh instead of feeding my soul.

I don’t finish Bible Studies.
I don’t finish projects.
I don’t finish challenges.
I don’t continue in the good things that I know to do.
I just wallow in the darkness, when I know I can get up and walk in the light!

I am repenting – turning as best I can, and praying for God to help me to endure to the end, mentally, physically and spiritually. And I pray that 2011 will be the year of break through.

My flesh issues are so indicative of my mind and spirit issues. I MUST burn this fat to the Lord as a sacrifice of repentance for my lack of constraint. I must bring my mind into submission to the Word of God. I must structure my life around the word, and cause my spirit to reign over me, as the Spirit of God has more and more freedom to flow in me.

Anyway – I am trying NOT to feel like failure. I am a stumbling child, and my Father knows this, loves me, and is waiting for me to take His hand..minute by minute, step by step.

FWIW,
~Christi

Saying Goodbye to 2010 and Hello to 2011

Last year was a year of trial and error, over and over and over.

Will that be true this year? I don’t know, but my plan is to have a plan that I can return to when I fall off the plan.

Starting Jan 3 – I am doing The Bible in 90 Days.
www.biblein90days.org

Also, starting Jan 3 – I am doing The Daniel Fast
www.daniel-fast.com

The Daniel Fast has teamed up with Compassion, International to do a combined program called”Fasting for Food”.
www.fastingforfood.com

I will be asking people to sponsor me for 21 days of the fast –

http://www.firstgiving.com/christiwildmanand I hope that this combination of activities will be a plan that I can get going, with all of them tying together(well, the moving doesn’t tie except that it’s 100 days!)…and I will feel like I am doing something good for me, for my body, and for others.

I also want to go on a mission trip with Compassion International in September to Peru. I will be selling my paintings and prints to raise money for that trip.

I have also been challenged to join a movement called 100 days Challenge (on Facebook) that is asking people to choose to move for 30 minutes everyday for 100 days.
This is an event on FaceBook.

If you want to join me in any of these events…or you know of them here on SP, let me know!

The time is getting short….I’m 50 now…if I live to 100, I’m over half way there! I gotta grab it NOW!

In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi

Sunshine and Rain

Sunshine and rain, blue skies and gray, Our God reigns, each and every day!

Ps 147:7 Sing unto the LORD with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God:

:8 Who covereth the heaven with clouds, who prepareth rain for the earth, who maketh grass to grow upon the mountains.

This weekend, with our full range of sky experiences, has been glorious.

We arrived in the dark, and when you are near the gulf, and away from all lights, it is DARK! As we drove, the sky was cloudy, so there were not any stars or moon as well. We walked out to the dunes to look at the waves, and as we walked, the clouds parted. Standing on the dune, looking at the waves come in, and looking up at stars I have never seen was amazing! God’s starry show welcomed us to our beach side weekend.

Job 22:12 [Is] not God in the height of heaven? and behold the height of the stars, how high they are!

Everyone comes to God in the dark.

2Co 4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

1Pe 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

We slept, with a window open to enjoy the sounds of the waves crashing, and the smell that only exists on a salt water beach area. The morning was gray…clouds covering the sky, and wind cutting through the clothing. Is this really Houston Texas? It was going to rain…we could see that. But the beach beckoned to us. And yet, we had to wait.

We sat and watched the rain as it hit the windows. The beauty of the water dripping down the glass, the splashes of water when the rain picked up, and the sparkle as light hit the various parts of rain were a delight to watch, from the inside of the RV. The percussion symphony of the drops was a song of the glory and majesty of Our God. We were protected from the rain! We were in the midst of a storm, but totally secure, warm, dry, and able to delight in the nourishing nature of the rain outside our stronghold.

Everyone has storms. Everyone has overwhelming times that just pound and beat against them, threatening to tear them down, or drown them in the emotions. But the one that trusts in God has a special protection, a special place in the midst of the storms.

Is 9:2 The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow of death, upon them hath the light shined.

Is 26:3 Thou wilt keep [him] in perfect peace, [whose] mind [is] stayed [on thee]: because he trusteth in thee.

Psa 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

:2 I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Prov 18:10 The name of the LORD [is] a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

Mark 4:37 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.

4:39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

:40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?

:41 And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?

Sometimes there are dark times that just seem to go on and on and on. These are the valleys where we are tested. In Kelly Willard’s song “Hidden Valley’s”, she says :

“Hidden valleys produce a life song

Hidden valleys will make a heart strong

Desperation can cause you to sing

Hidden valleys turn shepherds to kings”

Elijah endured the storms on the mountain. Isaiah endured the storms laying on his side playing with toy soldiers. Daniel endured the storms in the Lion’s Den, and his three friends in the fiery furnace.

David was so used to going through valleys, he wrote the 23^rd Psalm. The key is with whom you walk, and what happens on the other side of the storm.

The rain ceased, and the sky changed a bit, but going out onto the beach was possible. The clouds rolled in, with light from above shining through, giving us the hope that the sun was coming. We walked along the beach, enjoying watching the surf as it rises and falls, ebs and flows, fluctuating and crashing in an unearthly rhythm that only the creator understood. Mist rose above the waves, and the wind blew it in from the gulf, stinging my cheeks as I looked out upon the water. The sand was uneven, unstable, and shifting back and forth as I walked on the beach. I had to keep my focus, and I had to choose my path carefully, or I could fall, damage my ankle(again) and have a tremendous set back.

In this day of mass confusion for mankind, with crashing sound all around, wars and rumors of wars…we have a path in which to walk.

Mat 24:6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all [these things] must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

:7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

:8 All these [are] the beginning of sorrows.

Mat 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

:13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

We must stay the course, and hold on to our path. These are part of God’s plan, though it His allowing men to have their own way, turning them over to their own devices and desires. But the believers in Christ have a path.

Psalm 37 is such a comfort in times such as these:

Verse 23 says The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.

Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

BUT THE SON IS COMING!!! Breaking through the clouds!

Daniel 7:13 I saw in the night visions, and, behold, [one] like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him.

:14 And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him: his dominion [is] an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom [that] which shall not be destroyed.

Matt 24:30 And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

We are to comfort one another with THESE WORDS!

1Th 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

:14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

:15 For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive [and] remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

:17 Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

:18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

Ah – the sun shining upon the waves. They were beautiful before, with the various shades of gray, but as the sun peaked out of the clouds, the water ignited with diamonds, and deep aquamarines, and blue topazes floating up and down with the undulation of the finest dancer. The water was alive!

When the Son touches our lives, even though the waves are the same, the sand is the same, and even we are the same, we come alive! He takes the unholy and makes us holy. He takes the imperfect and starts shining on the perfections. He takes the crashing of our waves and turns it into a dance of love and joy and peace and purpose.

For examples of this, read the gospels…the woman at the well, the woman with the issue of blood, the man who couldn’t walk, the man who couldn’t see, the people that could not be part of society because of their leprosy. When Jesus touches a life, well….

2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Our sins are covered by the blood of the Lamb – and it’s now our job to walk in the deliverance HE has purchased for us.

We can look at the waves, and the clouds, or we can look at the creator of the waves and the clouds. In Matthew 14:28-32, Peter did fall, BUT HE DID WALK ON WATER! He first was looking at Jesus, trusting in His word. THEN he saw the wind and was afraid. HE TOOK HIS EYES OFF OF JESUS.

I don’t expect to walk on water anytime soon, but we have this concept that walking on water is only for someone like Jesus. Peter is a man like you and me. Peter had yet to deny Christ. Peter walked on water! Don’t despise small beginnings!

There is a saying that has hung in my mother in law’s house as long as I’ve been in the family. It says: “I believe in the sun even when it rains.” Do we believe in the Son, even when it rains?

This seems to be a redundant theme for me, but it fits here as well. The way to be strong in the storms is to be strong in the Lord. Here’s a few verses:

Be strong in the Lord: Deut 31:6-7; Josh 1:9; 1Chron 28:20
Fear Not – the Lord will strengthen you: Is 40:27-31; Is 41:10-13
The Joy of the Lord is Your strength: Neh 8:10
HE will give us a song: Is 51:11
We must come into His presence with praises of thanksgiving, and joyful noises: Ps 95:1-6; Psalm 100
And Jesus came so that our joy(the strength from the Lord) would be full: John 15:11; 16:24

Jesus purchased our ability to have joy…the way to obtain that joy is to be filled with the Lord’s joy, which comes from being in His presence, which is only done by entering with praises and thanksgiving. And the only way we can enter His presence with praises is to make a choice about how we look at the clouds in our lives.

James 1:2-8

We must CHOOSE joy. Sometimes it’s a sacrifice.

Heb 13:15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of [our] lips giving thanks to his name.

But the blessings are great.

Jer 33:11 The voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, Praise the LORD of hosts: for the LORD [is] good; for his mercy [endureth] for ever: [and] of them that shall bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause to return the captivity of the land, as at the first, saith the LORD.

And, when we dwell in the presence of the most High, we are sheltered by the shadow of His wings…(Ps 91).

The SON cometh!

Psa 96:10 Say among the heathen [that] the LORD reigneth: the world also shall be established that it shall not be moved: he shall judge the people righteously.

:11 Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof.

:12 Let the field be joyful, and all that [is] therein: then shall all the trees of the wood rejoice

:13 Before the LORD: for he cometh, for he cometh to judge the earth: he shall judge the world with righteousness, and the people with his truth.

In the midst of the storms, comfort one another with these words!

And this is my song, my choice to sing in any time of darkness:

Psa 104:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty.

104:2 Who coverest [thyself] with light as [with] a garment: who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain:

104:3 Who layeth the beams of his chambers in the waters: who maketh the clouds his chariot: who walketh upon the wings of the wind:

Ps 27:6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

In His hand and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

Follow me at http:www.thewildberrypatch.com

Eclectic thoughts

Eclectic

What does this mean?

At the time of this writing, 2001, on Yahoo Groups, if you did a search for Eclectic groups, you will find a large number of witches, wiccan, pagan, new age and shamanism groups that utilize the term “eclectic”.
Webster’s Dictionary says
ECLECTIC: a. from Greek meaning to choose Selecting; choosing; an epithet given to certain philosophers of antiquity, who did not attach themselves to any sect, but selected from the opinions and principles of each, what they thought solid and good.

ECLECTIC: n. A philosopher who selected from the various systems such opinions and principles as he judged to be sound and rational. From Websters 1828 dictionary

And, what other words fit here?

Synonyms : for selecting what appears to be the best from various doctrines,methods, or styles or composed of elements drawn from various source

discriminating, select, selective
elective, selecting; choosing, choosy, discerning , fastidious, finicky, fussy, particular, picky

What can we ‘choose’?
We can choose our God.

Josh 24:15 (KJS) And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Isaiah 7:15 Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil, and choose the good
Isaiah40:18 To whom then will ye liken God? or what likeness will ye compare unto him? 19 The workman melteth a graven image, and the goldsmith spreadeth it over with gold, and casteth silver chains. 20 He that [is] so impoverished that he hath no oblation chooseth a tree [that] will not rot; he seeketh unto him a cunning workman to prepare a graven image, [that] shall not be moved.

So, let’s discuss ‘discerning’: What does the Bible say?

1 Corinthinas 2:15 But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
Eccl 8:5 (KJS) Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing: and a wise man’s heart discerneth both time and judgment.
Hebrews 5:13 For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
1 Corinthians 12:10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another [divers] kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:
Acts 17:10 And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea : who coming [thither] went into the synagogue of the Jews. 11 These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.

As men and women, given a choice,

we are responsible for that choice.

But, what does the common person think that eclectic means?
Peculiar – What does peculiar mean?

PECULIAR: a.

Appropriate; belonging to a person and to him only.
Singular; particular.
Particular; special

From Websters 1828 dictionary

How does this fit?

Because, a Christian chooses and is chosen to be peculiar

1 Peter 2:9 But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

Belonging to The One!

1 Corinthians 8:6 But to us [there is but] one God, the Father, of whom [are] all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom [are] all things, and we by him.

Ephesians 4:4 [There is] one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; 5 One Lord , one faith, one baptism, 6 One God and Father of all, who [is] above all, and through all, and in you all.

Because of the price He paid

1 Corintians 6:20 For ye are bought with a price : therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Hebrews 9:22 And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission . 26 For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. 27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: 28 So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

To deliver us out of darkness!

Colosians 1:12 Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: 13 Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness , and hath translated [us] into the kingdom of his dear Son : 14 In whom we have redemption through his blood, [even] the forgiveness of sins: 15 Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: 16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether [they be] thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: 17 And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

And give His children good things

Revelation21: 6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. 7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

What about witches, wiccans, pagans

and those that worship the creatures rather than the creator?

God’s view of Witchcraft

2 Chronicles 33:6 And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft , and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Deuteronomy 18:10 There shall not be found among you [any one] that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, [or] that useth divination, [or] an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch , 11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer. 12 For all that do these things [are] an abomination unto the LORD: and because of these abominations the LORD thy God doth drive them out from before thee. 13 Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.

And He will judge them, in His time,

along with many others:

Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

What Should we do?

Choose ye this day Whom Ye shall serve!

Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. 16 And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the LORD, to serve other gods; 17 For the LORD our God, he [it is] that brought us up and our fathers out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage, and which did those great signs in our sight, and preserved us in all the way wherein we went, and among all the people through whom we passed: 18 And the LORD drave out from before us all the people, even the Amorites which dwelt in the land: [therefore] will we also serve the LORD; for he [is] our God. 19 And Joshua said unto the people, Ye cannot serve the LORD: for he [is] an holy God; he [is] a jealous God; he will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins. 20 If ye forsake the LORD, and serve strange gods, then he will turn and do you hurt, and consume you, after that he hath done you good. 21 And the people said unto Joshua, Nay; but we will serve the LORD. 22 And Joshua said unto the people, Ye [are] witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen you the LORD, to serve him. And they said, [We are] witnesses. 23 Now therefore put away, [said he], the strange gods which [are] among you, and incline your heart unto the LORD God of Israel. 24 And the people said unto Joshua, The LORD our God will we serve, and his voice will we obey.

If you want to know what to do to be saved – check out my page The Most Important thing to Know about ChristArtist.

There are many different methods, but there is only one Christ, and salvation only comes through Him.

Thanks for joining me on my journey!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi