Tag Archives: Gabriella Grace

My One Word – Let Go with Gabby?

Let go
Letting go of the concept of perfection.
How does that apply to my service dog Gabby?

When Gabby was presented to me as an option I knew nothing about poodles and the only thing I knew about Labradors was that I had had one when I was 12 years old. I didn’t know about doodles and that labradoodles were different personalities than golden doodles and that personality traits came from their parentage. I knew NOTHING.

That’s about as far as I’m gonna go with the whole genetics thing and parenting.

(for those interested in getting a service dog for their disability – here is a place where I could have obtained much information on getting started with a dog search!)

When I went to meet her there were 3 that the “breeders” thought fit the criteria based on the temperament test article that I sent the breeders. Now these breeders were a family that had a poodle and a doodle and before they did any neutering they wanted the female to have puppies.

They definitely weren’t breeders because before they realized it they had an “oops” litter. I met Gabby’s older sister at a psychiatric service dog partner’s convention. I didn’t realize that observing a dog that had been under intense training for the 1st 9 months of their life was not necessarily the best indicator for what their younger sibling would have with my range of training. Again, I knew NOTHING!

I had just learned about temperament training from Psychiatric Service Dog Partners. My 1st service dog was basically a unicorn that I found at the pound that alerted to my heart rate and my diabetes naturally and we just trained him everything else and he was perfect. I really wasn’t looking forward to going to dog shelter after dog shelter seeing if one of them would automatically alert to my sugar or my heart rate.

Enter the thought of getting a puppy that I could bond with early.
In 2019.
I met the 3 dogs, Puppies.
Gabby passed the temperament test.
I didn’t have a clue about doing a temperament test on the parents.
I didn’t have a clue that a heightened sense of curiosity could cause me problems down the road getting her to let go of something she’s hyper focused on.
All I was concerned on was that she had a good bill of health which she did.

But I didn’t have any idea about possible stomach issues, and needing to feed special feed.

Then I shattered my shoulder before she was 4 months old.
All of her early socialization had to deal with her off my lap because I was in excruciating pain, done by others who didn’t really understand the socialization concept, and one person that decided it was funny to encourage her desire to chase after birds and squirrels(this is genetic in a dog that is bred from two hunting breeds).
No one has ever seemed to understand my concept of how a dog should walk with me. Not with my 1st service dog and definitely not with my puppy.

Once I started training her, Covid hit. Now we couldn’t go meet other dogs, we couldn’t go meet other people, we couldn’t go to group training sessions. She and I did virtual classes but there is nothing like having a seasoned trainer see you working with the dog and picking up on something you may not and helping you to fine tune things.

For many things Gabby loved learning.
Gabby was very curious.
And the grandchildren next door were continually more than she could handle to pull her attention away from.

3 years later, Gabby still has a very heightened curiosity. She has learned to settle in many situations from a heightened activity, But not distraction.

I wonder if her parents had these tendencies because they were left to run free on a property In upstate New York. They could explore to their hearts content. And if I recall they didn’t exactly have the best recall.

Is this genetics?
Is this environmental?
Is this my failure as a trainer?

One thing I know, I have to let go of perfectionism for Gabby. She’s a living creature. And to do her job she has to have some freedom to read a situation and make a decision. She cannot be a robot.

My current training came to a screeching halt because of stomach issues. We did scans, xrays, tests. “It’s poodle stomach” I’ve heard over and over again. I had NOTHING I could give her as a food treat to tweak her training. I couldn’t sign up with a trainer, because they always ask for a list of various level treats with which to reward (entice, bribe) Gabby. I was struggling. Gabby needed continual reminders, as do all dogs, and I was not able to give her the simple treats.

I had to let go of my manner of rewarding Gabby. EVERYONE uses treats. I’m very blessed that Gabby LOVES to be scritched on the head and kissed on the nose and told good girl!!! Her come isn’t perfect, and my training hasn’t been perfect, but she’s amazig.


Another thing I know is that I hold myself to a very high standard and I demand that I am perfect in all of my interactions with Gabby and I am constantly disappointing myself. I need to let go of perfectionism for myself. There are times that I am in pain and I cannot bend over the give Gabby the skritch and kiss. There are times I get lost in thought, and the only thing I work on is her pulling, staying within the leash length, or walking right next to me. When I am lost in thought, she usually sees the squirrels before me – and I don’t have the time to cue her “Leave It” and “walk on”. I’m not perfect.

Why am I wondering about this right now? I have found a training program for Gabby and I, And I need to make sure that I don’t have unrealistic expectations for Gabby and that I don’t tear myself up so much that I can’t be the handler that she needs.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.
I’m letting go of ways that don’t work or have not been completely successful.
I’m adding on the help of a professional.
And I’m trying to wrap it all up with grace for both of us.

When I write about my dog, I will share links that will help you to make informed decisions. For this journey with Gabriella Grace, The Psychiatric Service Dog Partners has been amazing. The are an all volunteer, Non-profit organization advocating and educating about Service Dogs, and specifically Psychiatric Service Dogs.  Gabby is a Psychiatric Service dog that alerts to my anxieties, pulls me out of isolation and tickles me when I am getting depressed.  I’ve written about my anxiety, depression, and suicide on this website. Having a Psychiatric Service Dog is a lifeline for me.

Hi! My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear. If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation. If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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