Tag Archives: Grace

The First 100 days – Day 63 – Minimalism

Our journey here in 2011, in Texas, and in moving full time into an RV, was enhanced by a very unique post. The author is Francine Jay. Her blog is Miss Minimalist, Living a Beautiful Life with Less Stuff.

The first post I read, A Short Guide to Consumer Disobedience…stirred up the rebel in me, the desire to NOT conform to the pulls of this world.

I live a minimalist lifestyle for many reasons: for example, I love the freedom, the flexibility, and the financial benefits of not owning a lot of stuff.

But I must admit, it’s also a chance to indulge my inner rebel. I’ve been a straight-A student, model employee, and overall law-abiding citizen; yet when it comes to consumerism, I can’t resist my desire to stick it to the man.

Today, I found Miss Minimalist’s New Year’s challenge, The Year of the Butterfly.

The small butterfly
moves as though unburdened by
the world of desire

-Haiku by Kobayashi Issa
Today marks the first day of the Chinese New Year, which according to their lunar calendar is the Year of the Rabbit.

Well, I’d like to propose a special New Year for us minimalists: let’s make this the Year of the Butterfly.

I enjoy her writing, and philosophy so much, I purchased her book, The Joy of Less.

Less Stuff = More Joy

Having less stuff is the key to happiness. Do you ever feel overwhelmed, instead of overjoyed by all your possessions?  Do you secretly wish a gale force wind would blow the clutter from your home?  If so, it’s time to simplify your life!

While I do not agree that having less stuff is the key to happiness – since I believe that JESUS in our hearts, and right relationship with Him is the KEY – I do agree that past that, our stuff holds us hostage.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…NOT THINGS!

Things as idols….that could make hoarding idolatry…and this has been a big issue for me as I’ve downsized!

Does this clutter make me look fat? – Peter Walsh from TLC’s Clean Sweep wrote a book called Does this clutter make my butt look fat?
I haven’t read it, because I’ve been afraid of what it might say!  The point is, clutter and hoarding in any area of your(my) life tends to excess. Keeping three copies of one book…why?  Eating three hamburgers instead of one…why?  Who needs it?

So, my biggest challenge has been cleaning away the emotions connected to the things…which is also part of the point of learning about emotional eating.  Binge eating is just the same as binge buying, or binge hoarding.  It’s BINGE – more than I need. Do I hear the word GLUTTONY???

So, I’m off to learn more about minimalism in so many areas…and to learn, in a new way that:

Phil 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

In fact…Phil 4 is a great chapter to read, and reread to learn what to focus upon.

Phil 4:20 Now unto God and our Father [be] glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

  1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 63
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:3-5(didn’t set up verse 4)
  4. 90 days Bible Reading – Isaiah – very behind.
  5. 50 days T-Tapp – ???

The First 100 days – day 47 – This is the stuff that drives me crazy!


We don’t always get what we want…and one definition of God’s will is exactly what we would choose if we knew all the information.

our camper

Fifth Wheel and truck

We are moving into a 38 foot fifth wheel RV.  There is approximately 400 sq feet of space.

Part of that space was used up by a couch that wasn’t working for anyone…except the cats.

One of the requirements we had for a living space is a desk area.  I do a lot on the computer.  All of our photos are on the computer. My writings are on the computer. My digitized paintings are on the computer. I skype with our daughter, and most of my friends all across the country are ‘on’ my computer.  Jim just IS a computer guy, his work and his hobbies are on the computer.  So, a desk for computer work was a necessity!  The desk area options in this model of trailer we not what we wanted.  We chose this one because of all the windows.

We tore the couch out, gaining a 38×72 space, completely surrounded with windows.  The desk we would install couldn’t be taller than 28 inches.  And I wanted something that would look like it belonged in the trailer.  The cabinets are handcrafted cherry raised wood, with some etched glass inserts in corners.  I wanted something comparable.

One cherry option

This one, not the actual one I found, is similar to the one I wanted.  See, even when I want to find a photo of what I wanted, I don’t get what I want!

Anyway – this was $260.
It is from Sauder, The Heritage Hill Collection. It’s not long enough.  It’s too tall.  And it would take up the WHOLE DEPTH of the alcove.  This was my challenge in finding a nice desk.  When I found one, it was $800 – and still would take up the WHOLE alcove – and we realized that we really liked the openess of the alcove without the couch.  Therefore, if we put a desk in it, we would feel even more crowded than with the couch!  Plus, we didn’t have $800 to spend on ONE item for the trailer!

It was suggested that I put a door on top of two file cabinets.  Done that.  We’ve also put a door on top of two pedestals we took off a dresser.  But I really wanted something that would fit, and even a door was going to be too deep for the open feeling. I created a very intricate board for Jim’s desk top, and we talked about using it, but when it became obvious we did not want a very deep desk – that precious desk top was NOT going to work, because we were NOT going to cut it!

So, I gave up.  We went to Wal*Mart and purchased a cheap ($69) desk and shelf set – in plain black.  I was frustrated (which is just a pretty word for mad).  I WANTED something VERY nice, very furniture looking.  And I was SETTLING for some do it yourself Wal*Mart brand.  I am confessing that I was grumpy!  I was, as my best friend says, in a ‘whatever’ mood!

Here’s what we have:

Our Computer Desk

Our Office

To the right of the desk is a window just like on the right.  I have the shades down!  To my chagrin, this is perfect!  We bolted this down, and we are going to put a cherry shelf extension on top of that bookshelf, just to tie in the cherry, and to give a little more workspace. This size is perfect.  It looks great.  And, it’s everything I could have wanted…if I had known from the beginning what we really wanted!

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

I DO want to yield to God’s will for me…because there is this passage that really sounds badly about demanding my OWN way:

Rom 1:21- 22Because that, when they knew God, they glorified [him] not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts,
1:25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;


 This passage generally is used to point out the sinful nature of homosexuality. But, that is not the only sin that turns a heart away from God. The fact that the persons mentioned here turned their hearts away from God’s will starts a downward spiral:

Rom 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Rom 1:32 is to all that participate in any of these activities:

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

And, it ties in with Rev 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

James 1: 14-15 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

I believe that God has a plan for my life. (Jer 29:11)
I believe that God is interested in every detail of my life.
I believe that God is sovereign, and therefore I should yield to Him in every area of my life.
I believe that when I put my desires above God’s, and that is usually indicated by my lack of patience, my anxiety levels, and my shortness with others, I am putting MY way above HIS way, and that is idolatry.

Saul learned that the hard way – by making decisions about how to fight a battle:

1 Sam 15:23 For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king.

I do NOT want to be guilty of rejecting God’s word for me.  The most important thing in my life is my salvation. The second most important thing is the salvation of my friends and family. And there are times that I get impatient with the lack of God’s hand. It always turns out, it’s not HIS hand that is slack or slow…it’s my eyes that are closed!

2 Pet 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

I want my life to glorify God.  Therefore, I have to LISTEN and TRUST and OBEY!  In my heart and mind, everything in life is an act of worship – every breath that I take……every move or  step I take…every song I sing…My life is IN the LORD! So, even when it comes to a silly desk, God didn’t think it was silly! He prevented me from getting what I thought I wanted, and led me to what really fills my heart with Joy!

Here is my prayer, that my life would be worship!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

  1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 47 -Able to do a workout!
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:1-2
  4. 90 days Bible Reading – Song of Solomon
  5. 50 days T-Tapp – check – T-Tapp Workout with Kirsten!
  6. 30 days – T-Tapp January Jumpstart- the last week

The First 100 Days- Day 46 – Boiling Point

Boiling Temperatures and Idle words:

written by Christi Wildman, 10/10/98

Each person has a boiling point, like silver and gold. As they are purified, that temperature gets higher…they become
more purely meek. Until that time, they can be stirred up to anger by others adding ingredients into the mix.

When someone throws idle words around, they add ‘salt’ to the water, lowering the boiling point. If the person was
walking purely, and had their boiling point at the highest point, the added salt may just be an irritation. If the person
had had other things added to his situation, and had already had his boiling point lowered, then he may just blow up.
Judge if your words are good or bad.

Matt 12:33 (KJS) Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for
the tree is known by [his] fruit.

34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth
speaketh.

35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure
bringeth forth evil things.

36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of
judgment.

So, the one who throws idle words around, will be judged…and it shows what type of heart he has. The following also
illustrated the purpose of our words and the power:

Prov 10:11 (KJS) The mouth of a righteous [man is] a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked. 12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Stirring up strife: This can easily be done by words, and without words, this is next to impossible.

Prov 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod [is] for the back of him that is void of
understanding.

14 Wise [men] lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish [is] near destruction.
19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips [is] wise.
20 The tongue of the just [is as] choice silver: the heart of the wicked [is] little worth.
21 The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
23 [It is] as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.

Idle words, combined with a sport to do mischief…what does this say about joking, teasing, or any other foolish
jesting?

Ephe 5:4 (KJS) Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of
thanks.

Does this add to the victims heart and cause their boiling point to be lowered? Who bears this responsibility? Who is
responsible for causing this destruction in another’s heart?

Prov 15:1 (KJS) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Grievous words DO stir up anger!

Prov 10: 30 The righteous shall never be removed: but the wicked shall not inhabit the earth.
31 The mouth of the just bringeth forth wisdom: but the froward tongue shall be cut out.
32 The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked [speaketh] frowardness.

The mouth of the wicked will not go unpunished…but are idle words, joking, teasing, baiting, or any other type of
activity considered sin? What does the word say?

Ephe 5:4 (KJS) Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of
thanks.

Prov 18:21 (KJS) Death and life [are] in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Prov 15:4 (KJS) A wholesome tongue [is] a tree of life: but perverseness therein [is] a breach in the spirit.

The person that is receiving is responsible for their actions also. They are in the fire of refining. And with each
purification, the fire must be turned hotter to purify.

It is their responsibility NOT to boil…to give up their rights…to cease from anger and forsake wrath

Psal 37:8 (KJS) Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

1Pet 3:10 (KJS) For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they
speak no guile:

But when tested to the boiling point……one must call out for grace from God, and He will deliver us, and we will be
purified…….before boiling over. We are to do preparation before the time comes, but we do have some help from God.

Prov 15:1 (KJS) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Ephe 4:23 (KJS) And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
27 Neither give place to the devil.

Ephe 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

Colo 3:8 (KJS) But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your
mouth.

The person with the idle words is guilty of stirring up strife and IF the other stumbles, they are guilty of causing one of Christ’s little ones to stumble.

Luke 17:2 (KJS) It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that
he should offend one of these little ones.

The person being tested can cry out to God for a way of escape:

1Cor 10:13 (KJS) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].

If we fail:

1Joh 1:9 (KJS) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.

The Commandments of Christ are to Love God and our neighbor:

Matt 22:37 (KJS) Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Love each other, as God would have you love….and help each other to grow into the fullness of Christ, by watching what our words say and do….and our actions….

Ephe 4:32 (KJS) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Ephe 5:1 (KJS) Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

  1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 46 -Sick
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:1-2
  4. 90 days Bible Reading – Ecclesiastes
  5. 50 days T-Tapp – check – SICK
  6. 30 days – T-Tapp January Jumpstart- SICK

The First 100 days – day 37 – ADHD Bible Reading

Hi.
My name is Christi.
I have ADHD.
(Hi Christi!)

I get distracted. Even when I read my Bible.
I don’t get distracted when I read a fiction book.
I think this is the work of the devil.
Nevertheless, it is what it is, and I need tools to help me ‘read’ my Bible.

Are ‘tools’ acceptable to God, or do I need to be puritanically religious about sitting down and reading and studying and notating MY Bible? Well, when Timothy was having some issues, Paul wrote this: Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities. (1Tim 5:23)
If that isn’t enough, God thought it was good enough to be put into the Bible!!! Now, I’m NOT talking about drinking wine instead of water!

I have been doing Bible in 90 days, and I have had some difficulties. I am committed, therefore, I have looked for some tools.

First, Speed! the Bible in 90 days website has some tools. Of course, these are for reading through the Bible in 90 days.  As for benefiting someone with ADHD…it is a faster way to get through all the begats and such. It moves faster, more at the speed of an ADHD brain!

Second, for ADHD persons, there is a need for multiple sensory experiences for things to hold our attention, and to stick in our brains. Here are some multi sensory tools that I have used, or have just found:

VISUAL – obviously the Bible reading is visual, but black letters on white paper is not very stimulating.

  • Christian Cinema has Matthew, Acts, and John on DVD.
  • For children(young and old) there are picture Bibles – such as The Beginners Bible, The Picture Bible, The Comic Book Bible, The Children’s Illustrated Bible.
  • For adults, there is this really neat Bible – The Archeological Study Bible. It adds details that keep this ADHD person from mentally straying!

AUDITORY – Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God…

KINETIC OR TACTILE – Touch it…..

  • Write out the Bible Verses.  Have a journal, or a flip chart, such as the one Beth Moore offers.
  • Coloring charts – yes, even for adults. PapaJan has free ones. Another site, Coloring.ws, has some pages with scriptures.
  • Kay Arthur’s Inductive Study Method, which my husband calls me coloring my Bible.

And here’s two more that I have just started to incorporate:

SCENT – a candle burning that stimulates memory.

  • Ps 141:2 Let my prayer be set forth before thee [as] incense; [and] the lifting up of my hands [as] the evening sacrifice.

TASTE – I have a personal communion time – with a small piece of bread, and a small amount of grape juice.

  • 1 Cor 11:26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death till he come.

Taste and Scent are strong memory encoders.

For me, the key is to have various opportunities and tools that will flood me with the Word of God.  I hope this helps anyone with a tendency to be distracted as they read the Word of God!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

  1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 38 -Sick
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:1-2
  4. 90 days Bible Reading – Ecclesiastes
  5. 50 days T-Tapp – check – SICK
  6. 30 days – T-Tapp January Jumpstart- SICK

The First 100 days – day 26 – commitment day

commitment – noun

  1. the act of committing
  2. the state of being committed.
  3. the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.
  4. a pledge or promise; obligation:
  5. engagement; involvement:
  6. perpetration or commission, as of a crime.
  7. consignment, as to prison.
  8. confinement to a mental institution or hospital:
  9. an order, as by a court or judge, confining a person to a mental institution or hospital.

Today, I am making a 30 commitment to T-Tapp January Jumpstart, which runs from January 27th to February 27th.  Please don’t blame me for the January Jumpstart beginning almost in February.

That will be 30 days of T-Tapp – eating right – weekly workouts with a trainer and walking 30 minutes a day.

Many people have had great success with this exercise program, created by a rehab person, Teresa Tapp.

I’m scared….but excited.  I will be posting scriptures that will help me to stay committed – and I will post my losings here.  It is my hope that my weight loss and inch loss will be an encouragement to others that have body image issues.

Right now, the verse is I can do all things through Christ Jesus Who strengthens me.

and of course:

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever, AMEN! (Jude 24-25)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

  1. 100 days challenge – moving – check my goal, walk 30 minutes.
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 90 days Bible Reading – I’m in the Samuels
  4. 50 days T-Tapp – check
  5. 30 days Jumpstart(1/27/11) – check – trainer meet up today



The First 100 days – day 25 – depression

Job 3:1-4 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.  And Job spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night [in which] it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

In my life, I am responsible for my choices.

In my life, my choices affect others.

When my choices affect others in a negative way, I get sad.

When my choices affect others in a negative way, and I cannot fix it…I get depressed.

Depression is a disease.  I have what is called Major Depressive Disorder, or Unipolar Depression.  In me, it’s mostly under control now, but sometimes, it sneaks up on  me like a snake in tall grass..

The problem with an issue that causes depression flare ups, is that sometimes, the issue doesn’t make any sense to anyone other than me(the depressive person).  It’s like a washing machine going around and around in my head…getting faster and faster…and everyone else is on the outside saying “just turn it off”.  Hello – there’s no off switch on the inside of the washer!!!!

Job 3:20-24 “Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery? They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.  It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.

I’m not suicidal  – this time.  Though as I wrote in my prior essay on Job, I have been there…countless times.

So – cutting doesn’t work.

drugs doesn’t work.

alcohol doesn’t work

Suicide won’t work.

Binge eating won’t work.

Movie marathons don’t work.

Crying just comes…tears just roll down my cheeks….

I can’t concentrate on my blog in progress.

I don’t want to eat(not a really bad thing for me).

I am overwhelmed with “I HAVE FAILED, AGAIN” feelings.

The ‘silly’ issues are so huge.

Giving up my books – they have been a grounding point for me all through my struggles since the memories triggered the depression.

Not being able to provide Jim with a lovely home in the RV…

Not being able to be focused in one mindset….being double minded(in more ways than one).

I have no faith in me.

Which means, I have no faith in God’s ability to work in me.

Well – there’s another Christi failure.

Sarah.

Rachel.

Rahab.

Three female failures that God used.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Depression is a valley in the shadow of death.  That’s the truth.

Jesus walks with me in the valley.  That’s truth.

I have spent money on things that stare me in the face…money that could have been spent on something better…money that could have done more good.  But I chose to spend that money, because I thought it was the right thing to do in the circumstance. I made the choice I thought was right, given the information I had at the time.  So, now, looking back, I regret that I didn’t have prophetic wisdom?

So, now my cry is…am I hearing God’s voice?

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

The Israelite’s knew when God wasn’t with them…they went out and fought, and if they lost even 1 man…they came back and fell on their knees to the Lord. But even after repenting.. that one man, 10 men, 30 men, were still dead.

That’s the thing about messing up…circumstances remain.

Sarah had Hagar and Ishmael to deal with – and look at what that has done to our world.

Rebekah deceived her husband, and didn’t live to see Jacob and his children, and the deception send Esau towards the Ishmaelites…more enemies for the Jews.

Rachel brought the idols away from her father’s house…interestingly, she died in childbirth.

Peter denied Christ…and almost gave up.

Stephen was still dead when Saul turned to Paul.

Our circumstances always follow us…as signs saying

DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!!!

Prov 26:2 As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.

I’ll straighten out that KJV –

  • a curse doesn’t come without a cause.
  • A curse that comes is not without cause.
  • If a curse comes, there is a cause.

I’m not saying that I am cursed….I’m saying that circumstances come for a reason. Deut 28 is a great chapter to see cause and effect.  Proverbs is good, too!

Prov 26:6 He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, [and] drinketh damage.

Prov 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, [so] a fool returneth to his folly.

BUT GOD!

As I was looking at the cause and effect of my choices, an angel called.  Yes, an angel named Faith called me on the phone.  Since she is my daughter, with a newborn baby, married to a soldier that is away for the week, I had promised her that I would answer the phone when she called.  I try to always keep my promises, no matter how sad I feel.

Faith was my Elihu.  And because of her ability to speak the truth, in love, I was able to hear the Lord’s voice and walk out of this valley of the shadow of death.

I have had to endure the Lord speaking to me out of a whirlwind before…of course, I think I was the one that created the whirlwind of chaos!

Today, through prayer, and crying out as I searched through the scriptures, God answered me through the sweet sounds of our daughter.  She was even used as a rod in God’s hands to point out a blind spot – that I was able to repent over, and be freed from that bondage. I was also able to hear the real size of the issues, and rest in the Lord, to be content in peace.

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

I have a thorn in my flesh – like Paul – though not for the same reason: 2 Cor 12:7 – And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

But more so that in my weakness, I can turn to HIM. 2 Cor 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This ‘infirmity’ may never leave me.  But neither will the Lord Jesus Christ.

Is 41:10 NLT Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

Is 41:13 NLT I am holding you by your right hand–I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, `Do not be afraid. I am here to help you.

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior be honor and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25

With this kind of God – and the enormous love He sheds upon me – how can I give up?  How can I quit?  I can…but I am compelled by His great love – to love.  I love, because He first loved me(1 John 4:19).

I do have past mistakes, and I’m pretty sure I will make future mistakes, and I have even made mistakes today.  But God knew all about them, and MY God is BIG enough to handle MY mistakes, an make sure that all things work together for my good and His glory!  Anything less is a lack of faith…as in, my God is too small.  I got to let Him out of the box I keep putting Him in!  It’s when I let HIM be God that I truly enjoy the joy of the Lord.

I praise God that He had Faith call.  I praise God that I had a human voice that was Jesus to me.  I praise God for His great love, compassion, and patience with me.

A year ago, this may have turned out differently, but by God’s grace, I am here, and I shall live to declare the glory of God!(Ps 118:17)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

  1. 100 days challenge – moving, a dog walk
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 90 days Bible Reading – catching up
  4. 50 days T-Tapp – check – HD & AL



The First 100 days – day 23- burn that fat

Since this Fasting-For-Food project, I’ve been enlightened a bit about my eating habits.  I’ve been enlightened a whole bunch!

Exodus.

Captivity. Slavery. Bondage.

It just kind of happened.

First, everyone loved Joseph…then, generations forgot Joseph…and then, “why are we bein’ so nice to these people?”

First, I just ate…it felt good, it never argued, and, with fast food, it was always there!!!!

Why didn’t the Israelites just get up and say “No More”, and walk out of Goshen?  Why didn’t they just quit taken’ the stuff…and just leave?

Why don’t I just get up from the table and say “No More?” Why don’t I just stop eatin’ the stuff that’s killin’ me?

Captivity. Slavery. Bondage.

I have been held captive by food ads.

Seeing that Wendy commercial,

I can taste the fries! (side note – the new ones just aren’t as addicting to me…but then, I’ve eaten them anyway.)

THIS USED TO BE A HUGE PROBLEM!!!!!!! Well, true confessions, it still is.

The thing is…sugar, caffeine, chocolate, ice cream, french fries, Mike-Sell’s Potato Chips……

Yeah, a bag of Mike Sells, a tub of bacon cheese dip, a 2 liter of some diet pop….to make up for the calories of course…and I was in fat heaven!  Comfort Food Chaos!

These are my issues.  These are my food idols.  These have held me captive.

Writing about this now, having not eaten any of these for 23 days, I can taste the banana split, I can smell the potato chips…and I am struggling to say NO – even though they aren’t even here!

I am 130 pounds overweight – at least.  That’s the weight of a normal sized woman of 5’2″ stature.  I cannot move like a 120 pound woman.  That’s right, I’m over 100% excess person.

1 Aug 2010

Here's my fat face!

25Jul2010

Me at a campground with Gabriel

Christi and Gabe

Sitting on the beach wall at Lake Livingston, TX

As is obvious, I need some help.  I am trapped by my ‘addiction’ to my ‘idols’.

~it is now January 30, and I have since eaten a banana split, and pancakes for the sake of research.  I even went to Wendy’s, but I could not bring myself to eat the french fries…so, I ate the salad!

I have suffered with health issues, because of the food I eat.

About.com has an article about how diet and disease correlate in a few cases.  What does your doctor say when you have a major issue? Stop the high sweets, caffeine, fatty foods and eat more fruits and veggies.

MedicineNet.com has an article, Healthy Diet for Disease Prevention, about what foods TO eat for Healthy Living.

If we consider disease as a path to death, and health as a path to wellness and living life…then fat, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes type 2 are all consequences of choosing ‘death’ in our food.

CHOOSE LIFE!

Deut 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, [that] I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Deut 30:20 That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, [and] that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he [is] thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.

The Bible does have a few things to say about what we eat….not just the legalistic following of the Jewish Kosher Diet.

The first thing – is fasting.

Deut 29:5-6 And I have led you forty years in the wilderness: your clothes are not waxen old upon you, and thy shoe is not waxen old upon thy foot. Ye have not eaten bread, neither have ye drunk wine or strong drink: that ye might know that I [am] the LORD your God.

Part of the Israelites’ process in the wilderness was not eating bread nor drinking alcohol.  It was part of knowing that God was their LORD.

Isaiah talks about reasons for fasting:

Is 58:5 NIV Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?

Is 58:6 “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

Is 58:7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

God doesn’t want fasting for fasting sake…but there is a promise for fasting to set the oppressed free…and break every yoke.  Consider fasting as part of your sacrifice to God.  There are many studies about it’s benefit…one is The Daniel Fast.

That brings me to a variation on fasting, the Daniel Fast, taken from Daniel 1, where Daniel refused to eat anything other than plant based foods, and water.

This book, The Genesis Diet, by Gordon Tessler, explains a lot about the types of food from the garden.

BUT HEAR THIS!!!! After the flood – God gave MEAT to man to eat!!!! Genesis 9

Romans 14 & 1 Corinthian 8 handles many of the discussions about what to eat.

And if anyone tells you that you should NOT eat meat…it is a doctrine of a demon! 1 Tim 4:1-5

1 Tim 4:1 -2 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

1 Tim 4:3-5 Forbidding to marry, [and commanding] to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God [is] good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

My point, in all of this, is that God is interested in what we eat.  And it IS between US and God…

Rom 14:5 Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. with

Rom 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

It is IMPORTANT, because we are putting it into HIS temple – because WE are the temple of the Holy Spirit!

1 Cor 3:16 – 17 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and [that] the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?  If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which [temple] ye are.

I admit, I’m in an Egypt of eating, I have idols of food, I have addictions to additives.  I confess that I am the temple of the Holy Ghost, and that I want the Godhead to dwell in me fully!  And I have read how carefully crafted the temple items were made that were put into the Tabernacle and Temple.  I admit, I do not take that much care, nor do I take care of myself as if I AM the temple of the Almighty God.

Exodus

Captivity. Slavery. Bondage. IDOLATRY.

It just kind of happened.

But what do I do now?

2 Cor 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in [them]; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

2 Cor 6:17-18 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean [thing]; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Glutton is sin.  It is one of the most accepted, if not THE most accepted sin in the church today.  God commands me to put off sin…tear down the strongholds and high places and go no more to them.  For me…that means….Wendy’s.  Yes – I’ve said it.  That means to NOT start up the Steak-n-Shake habit again.  No more drive through Cinnabon Pecan messes.  BECAUSE they pull me down a path I do not want to go!

Pr 23: 2-3 And put a knife to thy throat, if thou [be] a man given to appetite. Be not desirous of his dainties: for they [are] deceitful meat.

Remember the verse – let every man be persuaded in their own mind.  I have no problem passing cigarette displays.  I have no problem passing Captain Morgan or a Budwieser Poster.  I do have a problem passing the apple pie at Krogers!

My definition of idol is anything that comes between ME and God.  I am going to have to adjust it.

Idol: Anything that comes between me and God, or hinders my ability to be ready when God calls me.

Idolotry: choosing anything over what God has asked of me.

Ps 106:36 And they served their idols: which were a snare unto them.

1 Sam 15:23 For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee….

But with confession, with repentance, comes forgiveness.

Ezekiel 36:25-27 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do [them].

My life is a living sacrifice to God. I do not know why I thought eating didn’t have anything to do with it! The great thing about God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, is that HE loves me enough to continue to call me further on and further in!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

The First 100 Days – Day 21-WLVS

At a Counseling Seminar, Dr. Marcus Warner of Deeper Walk International, taught the WLVS process of working through issues.  Here is my first attempt, with references to Job.  This is a very personal reflection.

WLVS 06Jan09

This is my first attempt during this journey to follow the Wound/Lie/Vow/Sin process of removing giants. First, I must identify a problem. I found one as I was reading Job today.

Problem:

Suicide, desire death, echoing Job’s cries:

Job 3:1-4 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.  And Job spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night [in which] it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

And for 26 verses.

Similar thoughts: Why died I not from the womb? (Vs 11)

My thoughts: The same, or each time I have had a near death experience, I wonder why I was resuscitated. Following every suicide attempt, at the next attack of giants, I’d think “why wasn’t I better at my attempt the last time?” “Long for death but it doth cometh not…”(vs 21)

Job talks about the blessings of the peace of heaven in vs 13-19. Even the wicked cease from troubling (vs 17).

The freedom of heaven….the rest of the next life…to be loosed from the oppression of this life…this has been my cry. The pains that have wracked me mentally, spiritually, and then physically has brought me to the place many times, that I would rather die than live another minute.

NLT follows that with this:

Job 3:20-24 “Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery? They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.  It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.

I have cried this…prayed this…..breathed this. Lord, this is too much for me to bear!!!!! (there’s a lie in there I’ll have to deal with!)

Then – here’s Job’s cause:

Job 3:25-26 For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

NLT: Job 3:26 I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; instead, only trouble comes.”

So – what is my cause?

Fear…..fear of failure, and in the face of failure, total collapse.

THE WOUND:

What’s my wound? The horrible memories of monsters in the night, then the failure of my mother to protect me, and having to be the adult at 13, and care for my brother…and I had to do it right…because everything I did, had to be right. Nothing was ever good enough…and I was told to go do it again, and get it right. I thought if I was good enough, such things wouldn’t happen to me.

THE LIES:

I didn’t do it right, and monsters came in the night.

I didn’t do it right, and I chose to forsake a scholarship for art and music at OSU

I didn’t do it right, and I went into the Navy, got paralyzed, and was discharged with missing  medical papers.

I left my mom and my brother to join the Navy. That wasn’t what I was supposed to do.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother got drunk in high school.

I didn’t do it right, and my mother committed suicide.

I didn’t do it right, and my husband was angry.

I didn’t do it right, and my house wasn’t as clean as Martha Stewart’s.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother fell away from his walk with Jesus for a while.

I didn’t do it right, and my children became free thinkers with minds of their own that did not follow the path of Christ as I had envisioned.

I didn’t do it right, and all three daughters have life long diseases, as well as memories and scars that they will carry forever.

I didn’t do it right, and I turned to food and food and, well, food for my comfort, my emotional support and I am 120 pounds overweight.

I didn’t do it right, and I have health issues.

And, I can go on and on and on…..I can even explain the sin in the world as a failure of mine (oh yes, I can!).

THE VOW

The vow is that I should die, to relieve the world of my burdensome, failing self. Or, I will stop failing, and succeed at ONE thing – to die.

THE SIN

Suicidal thoughts and attempts. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…so even to think of suicide is a sin – if you entertain the thought. Those thoughts that come and were kicked out were just temptations.

Attempts, including – eating stuff that is not good for me, because I’ll eventually die from it, and maybe God won’t notice I killed myself.

Red Lobster’s all you can eat shrimp feast looks like a great way to die! It only takes 6 to start my mouth and tongue to swelling…….

Over dosing on chocolate – 2 pound bags….yes, that says bagS.

A friend’s mom or Dad went to the hospital for heart issues, because of eating too many Fritos…

I could go like that…just get me a bucket of dip or salsa! Maybe a 2 liter of pop to wash it down!

Basically, not taking care of myself has been a passive way of killing myself. And you know what? It hasn’t worked. My heart is strong, just under exercised.  “Deconditioned.” My bones have lost density…but I still can turn that around. My liver, though fatty, recovers very well. Gall bladder is fine, lungs have recovered from pneumonia twice. I do have Fibromyalgia (a dormant, then trauma induced, progressive chronic illness). BUT God has gotten me to a doc that prescribed some good meds that are making even that manageable. I barely have an official Dx of Diabetes 2 – my insulin stuff is just messed up.

The messed up parts? My mind.

Other methods have included an overdose, and intense cutting on my arms. Mostly, I have been hospitalized for suicide ideations….my mind has gone wacky and tried to kill me. The spirit within, that has been trained to turn to God, found ways to stop me. I have learned to call out for help when needed. It would have been great if my body had reacted to the pain in the right manner, but like I said, my mind went a bit wacky.

What’s the Solution?

FORGIVE THOSE THAT CAUSED THE WOUND

REPLACE THE LIES WITH TRUTH

RENOUNCE THE VOWS

REPENT OF THE SINS.

FORGIVE THOSE THAT CAUSED THE WOUND – Done(or so I thought)

REPLACE THE LIES:

I didn’t do it right, and monsters came in the night.

No child is responsible for what happens to them in the night, or day by adults.

I didn’t do it right, and I chose to forsake a scholarship for art and music at OSU.

For the gifts and calling of God [are] without repentance. Romans 11:29

I didn’t do it right, and I went into the Navy, got paralyzed, and was discharged with missing papers.

There is forgiveness for our sins...1 John 1:9-10

I left my mom and my brother. That wasn’t what I was supposed to do.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

I didn’t do it right, and my brother got drunk in high school.

It was not my responsibility to raise my brother, he had a mother and a father.

I didn’t do it right, and my mother committed suicide.

My mother was an adult, and she made her own decision…I was where I was supposed to be, with my husband.

I didn’t do it right, and my husband was angry.

I cannot make someone happy or sad, angry or calm. That comes from the fruit of the Spirit.

I didn’t do it right, and my house wasn’t as clean as Martha Stewart’s.

I’m still working on this….but I try to remind myself, she has servants. Besides, I am not going to be judged by the cleanliness of my house….but on whether I have trusted the Lord Jesus as my Savior.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother fell away from his walk with Jesus for a while.

But, my prayers, our grandmother’s prayers, and prayers of others brought him back…it wasn’t my responsibility, it was his story with God.

I didn’t do it right, and my children became free thinkers with minds of their own that did not follow the path of Christ as I had planned.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2 Tim 1:12 among many promises to save our children.

I didn’t do it right, and all three daughters have life long diseases, as well as memories that they will carry forever.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Rom 8:28

I didn’t do it right, and I turned to food and food and, well, food for my comfort, my emotional support and I am 120 pounds overweight.

I didn’t do it right, and I have health issues.

For the wages of sin [is] death; but the gift of God [is] eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Rom 6:23

But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. Rom 6:22

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2

Here’s what God can do!

Eze 37:1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which [was] full of bones,

Eze 37:2 And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, [there were] very many in the open valley; and, lo, [they were] very dry.

Eze 37:3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord GOD, thou knowest.

Eze 37:4 Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.

Eze 37:5 Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:

Eze 37:6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I [am] the LORD.

And I still have sinews and flesh and skin…..but this is my ‘put on’(what I need to ‘put on’ to move forward).

Eph 4:21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

RENOUNCE THE VOW & REPENT OF THE SIN

In the name of Jesus, I put off the old man’s ways of death, suicide and self destruction.

I renounce my vow of self destruction and declare it of none effect in Jesus’ name. I confess these thoughts and actions as sin, and place them under the blood of Jesus. Please forgive me, cleanse me and make me whole.

In the name of Jesus, I put on Life, and I pray that YOU, Lord will breath upon me, and I shall live, just as the dry bones, just as Elijah and the widow’s son, Just as you did at creation when you breathed life into Adam.

The only person left to forgive in all those wounds and lies is……….ME.

How does one forgive themselves?

Have I repented? Yes, then:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

He Who? The God Who will sit on the white throne of judgment, to judge both the living and the dead.

Eph 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Rev 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, [who is] the faithful witness, [and] the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,

Moses sinned – and God forgave him, before the law of the sacrifice was known.

David sinned – and God forgave him, before the blood of Christ was shed.

The woman at the well sinned – and Jesus forgave her, when she didn’t even have the promise.

The woman caught in adultery sinned – and Jesus forgave her, and said go and sin no more.

Peter sinned – and Jesus forgave him, before He went to the cross.

The thief sinned – and Jesus forgave him, as they hung dying.

Jhn 3:14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

Jhn 3:15 That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Jhn 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Jhn 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Jhn 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Rom 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Rom 8:10 And if Christ [be] in you, the body [is] dead because of sin; but the Spirit [is] life because of righteousness.

Rom 8:11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

Rom 8:34 Who [is] he that condemneth? [It is] Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [shall] tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Rom 8:36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Rom 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Who am I to think that I can hold a grudge against my self – when the Most High God has declared it null and void?

Psalm 103, especially:

Psa 103:8 The LORD [is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

Psa 103:9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep [his anger] for ever.

Psa 103:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

Psa 103:11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, [so] great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

And this was written BEFORE Christ’s blood was shed…so how much more NOW will He deal with me in mercy?

So, I repent of my false humility that held a grudge against myself, which in truth, called God a liar and dismissed the efficacy of Christ’s blood to cover MY sin. What arrogance…and I repent, and ask the Lord for forgiveness….and I accept it, for me, and I release myself from that burden.

Psa 103:1 [[[A Psalm] of David.]] Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, [bless] his holy name.

Psa 103:2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Psa 103:3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

Psa 103:4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Psa 103:5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good [things; so that] thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Isai 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Psal 46:10 Be still, and know that I [am] God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psal 46:11 The LORD of hosts [is] with us; the God of Jacob [is] our refuge. Selah.

Lord, I will wait upon you….and believe that you will heal all my diseases, redeem my life from destruction, my youth will be renewed and I will mount up with wings as eagles…I will run and walk and not faint. Lord, upon you, I wait. ~Christi

This was a journal entry that  was at a turning point in my life.  My suicidal issues did not get resolved until I arrived non-responsive in the ER, November 17th, 2009.  That day, something in me died…but it was something that needed to die so that I could move forward.  My husband, my pastor Earl and my best friend Sue were instrumental in helping me move forward, and to this day, I have no suicidal thoughts.  For the first time, as long as I can remember, I have spent a year with NO suicidal thoughts.  The meds aren’t different.  The people aren’t different. My head is different, because my heart is set on Jesus.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

  1. 100 days challenge – moving – check walked 30 minutes.
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 90 days Bible Reading – I’m going to reset my program.
  4. 50 days T-Tapp – check
  5. 21 days Fasting for Food – check – Done.

 

The First 100 days – day 20 – 20%

WOW! 20% done.  1/5 of the way there.

If this were a marathon, 20% is 5.2 miles….of 26.

If this were an ultra-marathon, 100 miles…this wouldn’t even be the first 26 miles.

Of the people that start the HURT (Hawaiian Ultra Running Team) 100 race, over 20% or so finish.  But that is like 21, 22, 29 out of 100!

In my 100 days, I’ve already fallen very behind in my Bible reading.  I’ve had to compromise on my Daniel Fast because I need more protein, and I am not getting enough from plant protein.  I’ve missed one day of 30 minute movement, because I was so sore from the previous day’s walking on the beach.  I’ve messed up my continuous 100 days.

So – quit.  Why bother? What’s the point?  I’m behind on the race! I can’t catch up!

Ah – diets…a good example of quitting.  I have no idea how many other people start diets and then give up because they mess up…BUT, me, well, I know I do.  “I ate two cookies, I might as well finish the bag so they aren’t a temptation tomorrow!” HA!

Millions of people make New Year’s Resolutions on Jan 1, and by Feb 1(at the latest) they are broken. Hmm, how did they get broken?  Did they fall off the mantle, and crash to the tile floor?  Oops!  No. They weren’t broken, like some accident, they were thrown away.  Sometimes gently, sometimes with full angry force, thrown against the wall with screams of ‘I CAN’T DO THIS!’.  But even that scream didn’t BREAK the resolution…the next day broke the resolution, the resolve of the person.  Waking up, with the headache, the stomach ache, whatever, and thinking “I’m a failure.”  THAT BROKE THE PERSON’S RESOLVE!!

Then there are the little voices in our heads from childhood, and the photos on the magazines of those that kept their resolve and lost 100’s or more…or tackled the Appalachian Trail – barefoot…or climbed a volcanic mountain – while erupting…or whatever.  “Wow – that person really had resolve(self-control, will-power)!”

Maybe. Every person that succeeds first fails. Repeatedly fails. The difference is that they get back up, and do it again, and again, and again, until “Oh look! they made it to the top of the mountain!”.

20% doesn’t seem like much.

  • 20 days doesn’t even make a new habit! (referring to, “it takes 21 days of consistent behavior modification to create a new habit”).
  • The majority of 20 year olds will not make it to be 100 year olds.
  • 20% of a year is 2.4 months…January is only 1/12th, 8%!
  • 20% of the way to my son’s house is 229 miles.
  • 1 in 5(or 20%) of people having gastric bypass surgery will develop severe complications or death.(this was told to me by the doctor that was going to do my gastric bypass – I passed!).
  • 20% off is a good discount, right?

The value of 20% depends upon the circumstances to which it refers. The other way to look at it is, if I were on my way to my son’s house, I would be 229 miles closer than when I started.  If I lost 20% of my weight, that would be 50 pounds.  THAT’S A FIRST GRADER! And losing 50 pounds would almost get me half way to my goal weight! That 20% would be almost 50% of my goal.  50% is a BIG percentage!

What value is your life? And what in your life do you value?  We’re told it’s shown by our priorities.

Priorities….what is the number one thing in my life?  I say Jesus, but then I yield to the flesh (or someone inviting me to play a game on facebook, or take me out to dinner, or whatever excuse to turn me away from my focus).

Rom 7:15-17 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.

Rom 7:18-20 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Rom 7:21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.

This is Paul writing – one of the most devoted followers of Christ.  He was chosen by Christ…not by men, after Christ’s death and resurrection.  Paul shares the story in  Acts 26.  Paul struggles with doing the right thing! Paul lists all his fleshly credentials in Phil 3.

I want to do the Bible reading in 90 days…to wash my mind with the water of the word in the first 90 days…but I fail.  I choose to watch stupid TV shows.

I want to move for 30 minutes of every day.  I have a dog that needs a walk every day.  I have videos that would get 30 minutes in every day. 30 minutes out of 1440 a day = 2%.  I struggle with just sitting down – and doing nothing.

I want to eat right – to take care of my temple(a blog coming) and to glorify God and feel better.  I still struggle with wanting whatever is sold to me in commercials, magazines, or even store flyers!

I feel better when I eat right, move right and read right.  I thought that positive reinforcement should strengthen my resolve!  I feel sick when I eat ice cream.  That type of negative reinforcement should strengthen my resolve. 

THEN TELL ME WHY AM I CRAVING CHICK-FIL-A  PEPPERMINT CHOCOLATE CHIP MILKSHAKES?

These photos were my true confession last November…for my 1 time guilty pleasure.  Yeah, right.  Then another, and another, and another…all through the season.  In fact, I even ate one on Dec 31, as my last peppermint chocolate milk shake….like my last meal.  I got terribly sick!  My stomach told me that ice cream is NOT my friend.  And still, we drive past it, and I think, hmmm, do they still have them?

I missed 1 day of movement during this 20 days. 5%

I am 3 days behind in the Bible Reading – 15% of what I’ve supposed to have read.  3% of the whole 90 day reading plan. And it only takes 30 minutes…or 2% of my daily quota of minutes!

So, I’ve messed up…in this 20% of my 100 days.  I am tempted to quit.  Until I do the math.

DO THE MATH!

People die because they eat the wrong stuff and don’t move. It cuts down a person’s odds for living any kind of life. Just read the statistics for heart disease, diabetes and such that often comes hand-in-hand with life choices.

Christians fail to grow into Christ by not reading His word.

Ps 119:105 Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Ps 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Pro 29:18 Where [there is] no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy [is] he.

People go to hell because they don’t know the Lord. Matt 7:21-23

We struggle.  Period.

Rom 7:22-23 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.

At first glance, Paul’s writing here is depressing!

Rom 7:24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

THANK GOD WE HAVE THE ANSWER!

Rom 7:25 Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

HERE IT IS…THE BIGGIE!

Rom 8:1-2 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

AMEN! HALLELUJAH!!!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Rom 8:10-11 But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

Jesus said “It is finished.”  There’s a period at the end of his statement.  He IS the author and the finisher of our faith.  All we have to do is run the race.  And if we fall, he’ll pick us back up…I said, HE’LL PICK US BACK UP!!! and then, we brush ourselves off, and keep on running.

The one that doesn’t make it in is the one that never got in the race, or the one that quit and walked away.

It doesn’t matter how many times we fall down, what matters is that we keep putting one foot in front of the other…working and walking towards glory, closer and closer each day.

Do I sin like I did when I was 18 and in the Navy? No, sir!

Do I sin like I did when I was an exhausted mom of 5 toddlers?  No, Ma’am!

Do I sin? Yes sir and ma’am, every day.  But by the grace of God, my sins are forgiven, and I …..well, I’ll say it with Paul:

Phil 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

All that matters, once you have that saving relationship with Christ, is that you get back up after you fall down.  Grab a hold of HIS words for you, and cling to them like they are your life, for they are.

When the devil comes around to condemn you…find your scripture to answer with.  If that’s what was good enough for Jesus did, then it’s good enough for me!(tic)  We are seated in the heavenlies..we have been given the victory…let’s not give it away, whether in life, health or spiritual walk.  Jesus bought this victory because he said we were worth it – we are worth it because HE chose us – therefore this race is worth running, to the very end.

Heb 10:23 Let us hold fast the profession of [our] faith without wavering; (for he [is] faithful that promised;)

1 John 5:4-5 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?

Rev 2 and 3 talk about all the rewards for overcoming…and holding fast to the end.

Rev 21:7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

What is 20%?  What is 50%? What is 80%? What counts is where we stand on the day we meet Jesus face to face.  I’ve written about races before…the crown isn’t to the first…but in our race, everyone that finishes receives a crown..the crown of life. These verses were written by the same Paul that talks about having trouble with his flesh.

1 Cor 9:24-25Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they [do it] to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

1Cor 9:26-27 I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring [it] into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

Christianity is a race.  A race is hard work. It takes training.  It takes a plan.  It takes daily, bringing yourself under subjection…which means that something doesn’t want to submit! The race isn’t to the strong…or the pretty…or the most vocal.  The race is to those that keep on keeping on…until the end. To Him that overcometh…..

Heb 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Jude 24-25 Now unto Him that is able to KEEP YOU FROM FALLING, and to present you FAULTLESS before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. AMEN!

I know this one is VERY long…but I hope it’s been worth it for you, it has for me.  I’m going to complete day 20, and walk on to day 21.  Then, on day 21, I’m going to walk step by step, until I wake up to day 22.  And I’ll just keep doing that over and over until I see Jesus!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

  1. 100 days challenge – moving – check my goal, walk 30 minutes.
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 90 days Bible Reading – I’m going to reset my program.
  4. 50 days T-Tapp – check
  5. 21 days Fasting for Food – check – 1 more days!


The First 100 Days – day 17 – Cut it off!

Our grandson, Brayden, just had a tonsillectomy today.  He’s had years of earaches and sore throats and it was keeping him from doing what he needs to do.  He has a job to do.  He’s a 3 year old.  He needs to be playing to learn!  If he can’t play, it’s harder for him to learn!  So, the doctor said:

CUT THEM OUT!

Years ago, a friend’s son got sick.  He didn’t get better.  They took him into the doctor, and he rushed him to the hospital…his appendix had ruptured, and the doctor said:

CUT IT OUT!

Twenty-one years ago, I was minding my own business, sitting down on the edge of my bed when something went pop in my knee.  When I got to the doctor, he said my meniscus was torn, and the only way to relieve the pain was to:

CUT IT OUT!

Twenty-two years ago, I was in so much pain with cramping that the doctors had me on narcotics 24/7.  After a month or so, I asked the doctor what we could do to cure the endometriosis, and he said:

CUT IT OUT!!

Jim’s grandmother couldn’t see – cataracts. When she saw the doctor, he said:

CUT THEM OUT!

One of our daughters found lumps in her breasts.  Praise God they were not cancerous, but to make sure the doctor said:

CUT THEM OUT!

Everyone of us, after having the surgeries, were more capable to function.  If we had not cut off the troublesome, infected, blinding item, life would not be the same moving forward…if there was life at all.

Matt 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Matt 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.

I like my right eye – especially since I am an artist.  I like my right hand – especially since I am right handed! So, they don’t offend me at all!

NKJV takes my excuse away:

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”Matt 5:30 NKJV

Jesus talked about the eye causing you to sin, following his dissertation about seeing a woman and lusting after her. Body parts can’t cause us to sin…but IF you have a problem lusting after what you see – cut out your eyes so that you will not have that temptation.  If you have a problem with taking things that are not yours – cut off your hand so that you will not have that temptation.  That used to be the Muslim way of handling thieves! In some areas, they still do!

CUT IT OUT! CUT IT OFF!

Matt 18:8 “If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.”

Matt 18:9 “And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.”

This past summer, I had three surgeries on my right foot/ankle.  I ended up actually walking, with out a boot, about 4 to 6 weeks from May 5 through October 30. I spent most of the summer in a wheelchair.  I was not able to drive or take myself to my doctor appointments.  I was at the mercy of anyone that was willing to help me out.  I like my right foot.  I like my left foot.  Two days ago was the first day I’d been able to walk on the beach without a boot of some sort.

Barefoot Beach Walk

I just walked a mile, Barefoot on the Beach!

Walking Barefoot in the sand

I've completed 2 miles in the sand

Wading in the Gulf

A wonderful cold walk in the water!

Today, I walked on the beach barefoot.
Today, I skipped on the beach, barefoot.
Today, I waded in the water, barefoot!

Today I could stand because when my doctor looked at my ankle on the MRI, he said “we need to cut out the bad stuff, and graft in good stuff.”

Cut out bad stuff so that it can be replaced with good stuff.

I had horse heart grafts in my ankle for two different shredded tendons.

I had shots in my knees to replace the torn, shredded miniscus.

Jim’s grandmother had lens implants that helped her see.

Our daughter has peace that she’s not going to have to fight breast cancer.

My friend’s son had antibiotics to help fight the infection. He did not die.

Brayden will be able to function. He will be healthy.

As a Christian, we are told that if something is causing us to fail, we should cut it off.

Heb 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

Eph 4:25-27 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

Col 3:8-9 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

God intends for us to be separated from our sin…

Heb 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

We don’t have to cut off our feet, hands or eyes.  God’s point is that sin is so detrimental to our relationship with Him, that it would be better to have the sinning part cut out.  Of course, we know that it is the heart that is deceitfully wicked….and that our heart motivates our hands, eyes, and mouth.(Jer 17:9)

Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

When the surgery healed for my knee, I had to go through rehab…I had to believe that I had a ‘new’ knee.

After Nana’s surgery – she had new sight.

After the horse grafts in my ankle, I have a new ankle.

After Brayden’s surgery, I pray he will have new health.

After choosing Christ, and turning away from sin, we are new creatures.

2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

And God does His part, as the great surgeon:

2 Cor 5:18 And all things [are] of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

And then we have the duty to do the rehab:

Rom 13:12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.

Eph 4:23 – 24 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Col 3:10 And have put on the new [man], which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Infections can kill, breakdowns can lame, lumps can cause fear, malfunctions can immobilize, but God has provided medical knowledge to remove these, fight these.

Sin maims, lames, immobilizes us as Christians.  There is a passage that even indicates it could keep us out of the Kingdom.

Rehabilitation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey.  I had to learn to walk with my new ankle step by step.

As Christians, we have to learn to walk as Jesus walked, step by step.

Gal 5:24-25 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

footprints

Gabe and I were here!

Even in our walking – we are NOT ALONE!

Ps 37 : 23-24 The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.  Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.

Is 41:10 Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Is 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Some will say that life is a beach…and I say ‘bring it on’….I pray that I will walk each day of the rest of my life walking with Jesus!



Thank you for joining me in my journey!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

  1. 100 days challenge – moving – check- 60 minutes, 2 mile walk on the beach
  2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
  3. 90 days Bible Reading – check-I’m in Deuteronomy-will catch up with CDs on the way home.
  4. 50 days T-Tapp – check – I did SATI walking – WITH ARMS!
  5. 21 days Fasting for Food – check? I have to compromise a little, but I’m staying as total as I can.