Tag Archives: healing

surgery scuttlebutt, part four

Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip

I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.

My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.

In this book, Help and Hope while you are healing…no, I don’t get any kickbacks…just the pleasure of sharing this powerful book with anyone that will listen, Christine shares about discovering your passion and purpose.

For Christine’s Story about her book, read her blog, A story about a book!

Chapter 3 is managing the pain…great tool for planning ahead.
Chapter 4 is find your people.
Chapter 5 is discovering your passion and purpose…which I talked about in part three.

I wasn’t done sharing how God has led me through this surgery/cancer/move thing!
I wrote about The End is near in March…updated it a bit in April, and there is a huge list of things I should update to this blog!

here’s part of that hand of God orchestrating my life, to create a beautiful symphony!

I was chatting with a young lady that is training a YWAM to be a missionary.
She was sharing with me how the Lord have been guiding her, and what a joy it is to be in the place which God had planned.

here’s my comment:

One very large prayer is being answered. I am at the church the God called me to 2 years ago. God set me up for going back to the church, by having the pastor be at a doctors appointment that I was at, and I recognized him and I prayed for him.
So I have been able to tell them that I was there when he announced his vision for ministering to the unchurched, the marginalized, and the under cared for in this area. And he was stating that two years ago when I was here helping with my daughter while she had their third baby. At that time they had been praying for a church building, as they were meeting in the back of some government offices. I’ve been praying for this church and for their vision and for the Lord to provide this new church building well new to them because it’s a church building that another church is moving out of, but I’ve been praying for 2 years.

When Faith, our daughter, was telling me about this house that God wanted us to move into, one of the things she said was “oh by the way, your church is just around the corner from your house. Around the corner here does not mean always around the corner, the church is just around the corner on Bears den road” (less Than 3 miles away from our house). That is, the new church building that we are going to be renovating the inside and such and the first sermon is supposed to be the first Sunday in September!!!

THIS was just about the clincher to my saying yes to this house. There are so many other things…but this was KEY!

The other thing, it is such a blessing to sit under a pastor that preaches from God’s word. The United States has so many churches and there are many whose pastors do not preach the word of God. At some point God is going to pour out his judgement on America because we have been given so much in the way of his word, and freedom to live under his word and to share his word. This current generation in our country, has gotten the heart that says if he’s not going to correct me now he’s not going to say anything so go on and sin because God’s not watching. There’s a verse of scripture verse, the talks about that.

Yes, this is me…can’t keep me from stating something about the spiritual needs of the people around me…AND ME!

So what’s the big news about this? It’s that the Lord has allowed us to meet people from the church, and have a real connection between the pastor and his wife, right before I end up going into surgery! There are people in this church that will know of me and that know how to pray to God, how to pray the scriptures, and how to lift me up as I am lying unconscious on the surgery table.

I have had peace about the surgery and the surgeon all along, because I believe God set that up, but now on top of the peace, my heart is again, bursting with joy, that God had my church family planned out for this time, 2 years ago!

the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He Delights in his ways! Though he fall he shall not be cast down, but the Lord holds him up with his right hand.

The points.

  • 2 years ago – I met a chiropractor, Suzanne Shaw, that shared with me about her church.
  • I attended while staying here for three months to enjoy my daughter and her sons.
  • The pastor shared his vision, his leading, his confidence that God had provided a church building for them, in which to reach and minister to more people!
  • My heart was touched…and I hated going back to Florida, because we did not have a church there at the time.
  • Two years go by, I’ve prayed for the church, but not had contact, other than visits with Dr Shaw when I’ve been here.
  • The Lord provides a house for our daughter and son-in-law.
  • The Lord provides a house for us, right next to their property.
  • The Lord planted all of us within easy driving of the new church building.
  • The Lord put the pastor and I at the doctors at the same time!
  • I attend my first service, and he is preaching on covenant…being covenant minded, knowing who we are in Christ and why…speaking life with my tongue, NOT DEATH!! timely message!

Here’s the church website, for Greater Life.
You can follow the instructions on obtaining the podcasts at the greater life website.

The specific sermons are in the Summer of Spiritual Growth, Covenant. So far, there are two parts…though he’s wondering about doing a third next Sunday.
On the youversion app, under events, search for greater life church – boardman. there you will find the notes for these sermons!

What has this to do with my surgery?
Well, to be honest, I would not have moved to Ohio if it weren’t for the cancer.
I would not be having surgery in Cleveland Clinic, if it weren’t for my daughter, and the house near her.
I would not be attending this church if I were in Florida.

My purpose.
There are several.

  • To be in a living church to serve.
  • To be in close contact with my children and grandchildren.
  • To share the gospel.
  • To write my story.
  • To serve others and help them to know the peace that passes understanding that is Christ Jesus

Now, a quick touch on chapter 6 – honor your healing. This chapter was NOT what I expected.
Christine set me up!

“the following exercise will help you find your worth in what may feel like wreckage. Instead of wallowing in all the things you cannot do and the ways you feel you are failing, how about you focus on those things you can do and celebrate that?”

28 years of therapy, if not more…and not one has gotten me to do this exercise.
I’m going through this innocent little book…thinking about how I do need to focus upon honoring the pain, so that I don’t undo the surgery(unlike the pelvic lift surgery in which I lifted things too early and felt the ties inside tear!).

“You are not without purpose in who you are and what you can do. We’ve established many ways for you to discover that truth, and I want you to find more!”

Thanks, Christine! You snuck that one in on me!
Seriously…the exercise had you write the gifts that I have that I love.
She has 10 lines.
Turn the page, AND SHE HAS ME FIGURE OUT A PURPOSE FOR EACH GIFT!!!
So, not only have I done an exercise that therapists have begged me to do for decades…I HAVE CREATED AN ACTION PLAN FOR THOSE GIFTS!

If that wasn’t sneaky enough…she inserts poetry here and there…and this one is titled “You are beautiful”.
She follows that poem with Psalm 139:14
Psalm 139:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Those that know me know that if you really want to get my attention…speak scripture!!!
So, I yeild!

And please, join me in worship!!

Beautiful Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli  

I cannot do this without my relationship with Jesus. I did not say BELIEF in Jesus…that’s not enough. I needed a REAL relationship…and that is what HE wants with us. if you are interested, follow these links!

Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Surgery Scuttlebutt, part three

Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip

I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.

My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.

In part two I mentioned that I am finding some of my people on facebook. Ok, don’t look so horrified! There are many of us Christians that are trying to shine a light into the darkness of social media. BTW, with the live streaming…how do you think God is going to have Revelation 11 fulfilled? The part where the whole world will be able to see it????

Ok, back to my story.

In this book, Help and Hope while you are healing…no, I don’t get any kickbacks…just the pleasure of sharing this powerful book with anyone that will listen, Christine shares about discovering your passion and purpose.

Chapter 3 is managing the pain…great tool for planning ahead.
Chapter 4 is find your people.

In the midst of finding my people, I have also settled into my passion.
I want to share a few chats I’ve had with a couple friends lately…and, a bit about what God is preparing in me.

A dear friend from the early 2000’s had remained my friend. And, God was so gracious to reconnect us on facebook.

Here’s our chat…mostly my part:

When I was in ICU after my suicide, Jim played music on my phone right next to my bed for hours. I believe that is what pullws me back from the brink.

I know when I don’t listen to my music and read my scriptures my mind starts picking up with the world puts out there and then I’m a mess.

Friend: You have been an inspiration to many as you openly share your trials and triumphs. I thank God for you

Oh dear friend, thank you so much for saying that. I have had people tell me I ought not share so much so openly. But in my mind, one of the tools that the devil tries to destroy me with is to silence me, and how much better to give him a black eye and silence him by telling others that they can have Victory in Jesus!

Oh Shirley, I love you so much! Our time there at Cross Creek with a very very tumultuous time and yet out of that tumult cut me such a friend as you and I praise him for his amazing way of orchestrating multiple things! I am so thankful that he brought you into my life! And then brought you back via Facebook!

I have doubted that my story has any power…I know that my story talks about how the devil tried to destroy me…and I was in cahoots with him! I know that my story helps those that are abused, in chronic pain, depressed, anxious, struggling with life’s pressures. And even then, in my mind, I hear….”no one cares…shut up”.

Passion – to share my story to give other’s hope!

Sometimes, i ask why…give me a glimpse into the purpose.
I KNOW there is a purpose…
I KNOW that my Father only plans good for me…
I KNOW that whatever comes to me has to go through my Father’s hand first…
My Father is the father of lights…

We quote James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

and we focus upon the good…the gift…perfect is missed….
perfect
PERFECT – complete…fulfilled…HIS PLAN!

Isaiah 55:10-11 King James Version (KJV)

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

Are we so much better than Job…who walked perfectly before the Lord…and endured great loss, to be made even MORE perfect…and to be put into our lives as an example of how to go through trials?

Jehovah God is NOT a Santa Clause…the scriptures about ask what you will and it shall be….ARE PART OF THE WHOLE SCRIPTURE!!! you have not because you ask amiss….

James 4:2-3 New International Version (NIV)

2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

have I asked God to heal me?
yes.
Have I claimed my healing as per the scriptures?
yes.
Do I think that God has abandoned me because I have to have surgery?
Oh, Lord, NO!!! God orchestrated this whole move so that I would have the BEST surgeon…and, honestly, if he had miraculously healed me, there is much that I would not have learned. These last 7 months have been full of fruit and meat and even some milk of the word that has caused me to grow.

Continued chat with my friend Shirley – who was talking bout how she had learned to lean on Jesus during her trials,and felt him closer than ever.
Me:

I know what you mean! It has been years since I have felt a very close relationship with Jesus, and I’ve always been close but there was something not quite the same. And I’ve been seeking his face about a lot of things this year, yeah, going from January planning on teaching in a church down in Florida and by the first week of March I’m moving to Ohio and everything in between and finding out about cancer and knowing that the Jim’s prostate cancer journey is not over yet and etc., etc., etc. This morning I woke up and it was as if Jesus was right here with me and God was just talking to me and I hadn’t felt that in years.

Such a sweet experience! I was asking Jesus about a few things, and it felt like he came in my room and sat down on my bed and was talking to me. Just like having a friend, an old friend, sit and talk to you, and listen, and full love, and no judgement. Ah, I wish my heart would be more open to this type of visit with Jesus! Anyway…

One of the things I’m learning is that he put me here for a reason oh, and one of those reasons is to be a Godly influence in my grandchildren and my children’s lives. On top of that, I am having to learn that he is the one that orders my steps and I need to be grateful humble and patient with those steps.

Another thing I’ve just learned, and I need to write this up on my next surgery scuttlebutt blog, is that the fear that I had that I would not do what I need to do for the recovery was me putting my trust in me. And obviously knowing that I am not trustworthy!
I haven’t feared the hospital, the doctor, the surgery, and I know that God’s in control of all of this, but I was freaking out about whether or not I was going to walk through the recovery to glorify him and with integrity.
I am very familiar with my failures and my weaknesses and I know that I get very tired of hurting and not being able to take care of myself.

All of the sudden I realized who I was putting my trust in for the recovery! And it wasn’t God! So I am laying that down at the altar and asking him to reign and rule over the recovery, and literally, today has been the first day that I’ve been at peace about the recovery. I am so grateful that he drew me to him when I was 9 years old, and he placed people in my life all along that spoke life into my being so that when the trials came I knew who was in the boat with me!

My view of Job was that God needed to take him down a little notch…and I am in no way equating myself with Job…perfect in all his ways, but i think God needed to put me in this position to learn, to see, that I was trusting in myself…NOT in HIM!

Psalm 20:7 King James Version (KJV)

7 Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.

Is 31:3

Woe to them that go down to Egypt for help; and stay on horses, and trust in chariots, because they are many; and in horsemen, because they are very strong; but they look not unto the Holy One of Israel, neither seek the LORD!

There are many sermons about trusting in the flesh and not in God…though, being of the mindset that I am responsible for my choices, and that while my salvation is secure, I want to do right by God in all my words…

One of my heart cries is this:
Psalm 19:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

My fear was that I would fail.
My fear is/was that I would not live the fruit of the spirit in recovery.
My fear is that I would not be diligent in my care during the recovery.
and, I’ve written that I have had fear that I would be alone.

As I said to my grandson the other day…I am never alone…Jesus will not leave me nor forsake me!

MY PASSION?
to live for Christ, all the days, moments, of my life.
to glorify HIM in all I do…in a manner that shares his light and his love!

MY PURPOSE?
to tell my story…

PEACE…PEACE…PEACE...in my heart that keeps my heart and mind in Christ Jesus!

worship with me!

If you don’t know Jesus the way I do…here’s some links:
Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Surgery scuttlebutt, part two

Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip

I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.

My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.

This is part two. My People….
The introduction explained what’s happening
Part One explained how a book is helping me to focus.

My thoughts from 6/29/2018

Friends, as I work through the book “help and hope while you’re healing” by Christine Carter, I am aware that I’m not hooked into a community for the follow up help. Haven’t joined a church, haven’t made friends other than Faith Gibson’s in laws… And I’ve probably got at least 6 weeks of intense recovery.

Chapter Four is “REACH FOR YOUR PEOPLE” and it exposed some things….

This is a source of fear.

Fear hinders healing.

Fear is the opposite of faith.

Trusting in myself is pride and arrogance, and in this case, probably stupid. And, the Bible says some things about TRUSTING God! Psalm 125:1 is a great one!

Patience is trusting in God’s timing.  I can’t change time.

Faith is trusting in God’s plan. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen! Hebrews 11:1 King James Version (KJV) I can’t see what’s going to happen!

Courage is facing fear and not letting it control your choices.

The Peace of Christ passes all understanding… It keeps my heart and be mind in Christ Jesus… Who IS the PRINCE OF PEACE.

I don’t know what will happen in the surgery… But God does.

I don’t know what will need to happen after the surgery, but God does.

Everything that led us to get to this house, this doctor, this hospital has been supernaturally orchestrated.

This symphony had been exciting and beautiful. Right now, the music is low, stirring, and anticipating something big. Crescendo, it’s coming… And the full compilation of all the different interludes is coming. The big finale that shouts “God is not dead, here’s surely alive!” is coming!

Stay tuned for the final chapter!!!

Update – I found some of my people on facebook!
I was struggling…and I confessed it….in light of

James 5:16 King James Version (KJV)
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

For Christine’s Story about her book, read her blog, A story about a book!

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Surgery Scuttlebutt, part one

Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip

I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.

My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.

I’m reading the book, Help and hope while you’re Healing – a woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness by Christine Carter. It’s available at Amazon, or from Christine’s blog.

In my introduction, I shared how I was freaking out.

My next step was to go to Florida, to see the ocean once more before my surgery.

Oh, right, and to touch base with my Florida doctors before major surgery.

I took along Christine’s book, and started to write in it…..

I started working on the lists….
One of which is a prayer list…for all of those that I will be praying for when I cannot do any other thing.

Another is a music list…My Grounding Worship youtube channel. It’s going to be growing!

Another is beauty…Shutterfly has an unlimited 4×6 photo program on the app. So, I’ve gone through tons of photos to have them there to make me smile.

Here is some of the photos…it’s from our drive from Clermont Florida down to Pompano Beach, and we drove through a double rainbow….

The rainbow has wondrous meaning to Christians…Genesis 9:13-16

Another lovely thought about the rainbow comes from Revelation of John – seeing the throne of God surrounded by a rainbow. A neat little study about that is at Patheos by Peter Leithart.

For Jim and I, we are often given rainbow signs in our life.
So, the very presence of this rainbow, DOUBLE rainbow that remained for 15 minutes at least, and that we drove under, was a spiritual gift to both of us. This was a trip to settle some things, and to prepare for the surgery. God not only allowed me to swim in the ocean, He surrounded us with HIS bow in the clouds!

In chapter three, managing the pain, Christine suggests that we should take the time to remember joy! and to write it down. This was where I started thinking of photos. And I decided that things that bring me joy are my family, friends, and God’s beauty. In line with this desire to pull together some of the beautiful places and people of our lives, God gave us a new one, experienced on a back road trip down the center of Florida!

I’ve also been collecting scriptures that will bring me back from the sorrow of pain…and that is another issue that Christine touched upon.

What bit issue sends me into depression? Being a burden.
Chapter four talked about reaching for my people…and I share about that in part two.

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

surgery scuttle butt, introduction

Definition of scuttlebutt
1 a : a cask on shipboard to contain fresh water for a day’s use
b : a drinking fountain on a ship or at a naval or marine installation
2 : rumor, gossip

I’m not really planning on this being gossip, or rumor…but, hopefully a drink of fresh water.
Think of this as the Naval equivalent of a water cooler conversation.

My surgery is scheduled for July 17th, 2018.

Here’s an email that explains the surgery:

on July 17th I’m having reconstruction of my right kidney…to remove a cyst that looks cacerous, though the official dx won’t be made until they take it out and biopsy it.
 
they want to save as much of my right kidney as they can, because a cyst has developed in  my left kidney over the last four years, though it is not showing evidences of cancer at this time.  8-10 years ago, the one in  my right was determined benign, too.  anyway…the recovery will be long…longer than even the achilles tendon reattachment…during which I thought I’d go out of my mind.
 
Please send me verse, christian songs(youtube) and such that I can meditate upon before, and during the surgery and recovery.
 
I will be in the hospital for up to four days…a little unusual for any of my surgeries…usually, it’s in and out.  Only one , the pelvic lift surgery, was two days.
My artificial cervical disc surgery was two days, be cause the doctor forgot to sign me out.
 
I don’t remember how long I was in for the hysterectomy in 1989…but, those days were a bit different than  now.
 
anyway…I would appreciate prayers…love…and prayers

So, that’s it.
In January, I found out I had probably kidney cancer(they won’t call it official until they take out the mass that lit up with the cancer seeking dye has been biopsied, per Medical protocol – though multiple doctors have slipped and called it cancer).

10 years ago, it was benign.
Supposedly, very few of these turn cancerous…ding ding ding…I won the lottery!

I mentioned the cancer surgery on my fb page, and a new friend, Christine Carter, who lives near Columbus Ohio, where we used to live, offered to send me a copy of her book. I thought, that’s so sweet.
She mailed it, and I opened the box…and I thought, this will be good for me to read while I’m recovering.
Why would I think that?
The name!
Help and Hope While You’re Healing…A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness.

I had read her post that her husband was recovering and said that he probably should read her book now.
That was funny.
But, I had to prepare!!!
On the other hand, I was going to Florida for a week of appointments in preparation(my main doctors are still in Florida), so I planned to take the book along to read and see what’s up.

Then, I opened the book – and she had me at chapter one! “I’ll meet you there!”
She speaks from experience!

Folks – I’ve been where she’s been – with multiple surgeries and illnesses and injuries.
And I HATE WAITING!
MUCH OF HEALING IS WAITING!
Unless you are blessed to receive a supernatural healing, you walk out your healing by faith….and wait for the manifestation!

If there is one thing in my life that i have difficulty with it is waiting.
I prefer to be 15 minutes early anywhere…and I have to practice mercy and grace with those that are late…chronically late…habitually late…as in, tell them to meet you 30 minutes before you plan to do anything to get them there on time late!

I am worse with me.
I’m not healed yet, what am I doing wrong?
Oh, I only had surgery yesterday? You say I’m too hard on myself? HA!!! let me tell you about my artificial cervical disc recovery! ok, most of that was the amazing surgery procedure…but still…replace a cervical disc and I’m nodding my head the next day…come on, we can do better than this with a knee!!! ankle, wrist….I mean, I played the piano just three days after trigger finger surgery!!!

Now…walking, why can’t I walk? Oh, body, you want to shut down? I’ll just walk another mile and…oh, darn…electrolyte crash, call the squad, heart is racing, seeing spots…maybe I should have just sat down!

Running? Who says you can’t run with herniated discs…I’ll show me!!!!
Yep – I showed me, but the wrong part of me did the showing…now I go to a pain doctor on a regular basis for injections, epidurals and blocks!

What are you saying?
I should listen to my body?
That’s not biblical!

Faith is the substance of things HOPED FOR
the evidence of things NOT SEEN….

On the other hand…WHO is sovereign over my life? Jehovah
Jehovah Raphe – the God who heals….
And sometimes He is the God who says BE STILL!
HEAR MY VOICE IN THE QUIET
WAIT ON THE LORD

um….ok, so, I admit that I tend to get out ahead of God…a bit… a lot a bit…to be honest…a lot….often.
And sometimes, yes, he allows me to be put into the position to WAIT upon the LORD, to BE STILL, and to listen to HIM in the quiet.

Christine’s book, chapter two is preparing for the pause…I’m going to write more about that in part one.

For now…if you want more information on Christine Carter and her book, read about it on her blog, A Story about a Book.

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

By His Stripes, I am Healed!

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah – 53:5

I wrote a blog about being prepared…and finding out about my husband having cancer was hard to prepare for!
finding out that the special, state of the art, 98% successful procedure didn’t work, was hard to prepare for.
finding out the second one – shown by the PSA rising again – was unsuccessful…that was hard to prepare for!
going through the scans to find out where the cancer was hiding…

    • MRI – nothing in the prostate (except some prostate …about 1/2 the size of normal) – that was not something that we had prepared for.
      1. first, why was there prostate tissue? it was all supposed to have been burned away, as we understood it.
      2. second, why is there no cancer there, and the rising PSA indicated cancer…somewhere.

      We weren’t prepared well for this.

    • CT scan – Bone scan – NOTHING!!!!!

WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS!!!!

Did I pray for Jim’s healing?
YES!
Were other’s praying for Jim’s healing?
YES!
Did it come the way we thought?
NO!!!

What do you do when God answers your prayer – and you weren’t ready for the answer?
I was not prepared!
I had geared up for a battle.
I had planned my long walk in the dark place – believing against all the odds….

AND GOD!

I WAS NOT PREPARED TO SEE A MIRACLE!

I thought I was walking in faith…looking forward to God’s hand moving….
and I was looking forward…preparing for a future fight…and I almost missed God’s miracle in the NOW!!!

Heb 11:1 – Faith is the substance of things hoped for…the evidence of things unseen….IN THE FUTURE… this is the instructions for waiting for God to arrive…Right???
gird up your loins…
be ready to run with the horses…
Elijah – was looking FORWARD to the rain…before he saw ANY CLOUD in the sky!

AND GOD CAME INTO OUR LIVES…
GOD TOUCHED JIM’S BODY
AND GOD HAS DESTROYED THE CANCER!!!

Does the enemy still rule over this earth? yes.
Does death still roam this earth? yes.

BUT GOD RULES OVER ALL! and says – death, where is your sting! Grave where is your victory? 1 Corinthians 15:55

Honest transparency –
I was working on the faith – for the future…for the healing I couldn’t see.
I’m struggling with the manifestation – the reality – that they found NO CANCER anywhere in Jim’s body!
Why is that?

Faith is the substance of things HOPED FOR..
the evidence of things NOT SEEN!.Heb 11:1

24For in this hope we were saved; but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he can already see? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet see, we wait for it patiently. 26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words…Romans 8:24-26

I was prepared to WAIT…
I’m used to waiting….
I’m prepared to wait…and wait…and wait…
God’s going to heal me…I believe it….
God’s going to deliver me…I believe it….
God’s going to ….GOING TO!

17For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Yes…I was believing in what I could not see….
and preparing for Jim’s potential death.
So was he.
So were the doctors.
Especially the one that did the treatments…
“I’m sorry man…I’m so sorry…It’s moved out of the confinement…there’s nothing I can do for you”

We were preparing to NOT see a miracle of healing….
We were preparing to see God give us grace to walk through the fire.

There are so many scriptures I could list…of how we were preparing…to accept the NO answer…even not now, which is what it had been, twice.
WE ALMOST MISSED THE ANSWER!!!

Now…I am going to be working on believing that Jim IS HEALED…and that GOD has glorified Himself in Jim’s body!

What about my body?
Well, I was awakened by extreme pain in my lower legs tonight.
I cried out, and battled with the enemy – reminding him that I had asked the Lord for deliverance from this pain.
The Lord met me, and instructed me to go – drink some water – and write this blog.
What level is the pain in my legs now?
0-1 – but more like .5…seriously…0
I’m again, having trouble believing what I AM SEEING IN MY OWN BODY!
I HAVE LIVED SO MANY YEARS WITH PAIN…from the past things done to me, and from the things I have done that did not help those issues be released.’
I have not followed food protocol
I have not followed drink protocol
I have not followed exercise moderation (it’s either a triathlon, or sit in a chair with my foot in a boot)
I have not followed the purposes for which I am called.
I have not fought the fight – I have not stood against the enemy….I was preparing to wait.
I was not standing fast in the liberty wherein Christ has set me FREE!
I was not resisting the enemy so that he would flee!
I WAS ABDICATING MY POSITION AS A CHILD OF GOD!

This morning – while attending church with our daughter, Faith…
the church sang this song:

https://youtu.be/zbiXg_1lXQk

And the Holy Spirit fell upon the congregation, and the pastor, and He spoke things into my heart about knowing that God will move the mountain…he’s done it before, he’ll do it again…he has not failed me….the song says “yet” – by the forth or fifth time of the chorus…I was dropping the yet.

God has not failed me.
I’ve seen him move mountains.
I’ve seen him raise from the dead.
I’ve seen him heal broken bones.
I’ve seen him restore marriages.
I’ve seen him deliver from demons.
God had not failed me!
Not ever, Not before, not future, and NOT NOW!!!

Who moved?
I did.
And I am so glad that God loves me right where I am.
I am so glad that God answers my prayers, even when I’m not ready to see them!
I am confessing my doubts – and my anxieties – and declaring that Jesus is MY LORD, and I say YES to the call to follow (First Baptist Orlando had a great message this morning as well. when it’s posted, I’ll attach it here.)
As Beth Moore taught us:
I Believe:
1. God is who he says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God’s word is alive and active in me!
I am believing God.
Believing God bookmarks
From The Beth Moore Believing God study.

I was preparing to see God move.
I WANT TO BE EXPECTANT!

How about you?

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

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