Tag Archives: Jesus Loves Me

Those Pesky Giants!

A while ago I wrote a couple blogs on the giants that are in my land. One of those giants in my land has been fear. Every time I think I have knocked that giant down to size with the stones of the word of God, something seems to happen. And something has happened.

Couple weeks ago, I was talking with my hematologist, and was asking questions about cancer symptoms on behalf of my husband. My concern was the fact that I had all these cancer symptoms and my husband didn’t have any! She was very quick to relieve any of my concerns saying that my symptoms were not to the degree of a cancer like lymphoma, and unfortunately I probably was needing to continue to pursue those symptoms as individual symptoms with varying different diagnosis. On one had, I was hoping that all those symptoms would lead to ONE diagnosis…not the various things I deal with, but, on the other hand, I’m glad that I do not show signs of Lymphoma.

In the midst of this conversation, I mentioned that quite a few years ago there had been some spots found on one of my kidneys when they did a liver and gallbladder scan and how freaked out the radiologist was. I went to a Kidney Doctor, who looked at theMRI and said they were just benign ‘bubbles’. As I was saying that, she turned to her computer and pulled up my last liver scan that she did(2 years ago) remembering that they had seen some things in not only my right kidney but also in my left and immediately she called for a scan of my kidneys ASAP.

It seems kind of funny, as I wasn’t aware that she had called it in as ASAP until I sat there listening to the office staff call and set the appointment. I got the appointment for the very next day. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a scan set up the very next day. Only one time when a doctor thought I may have had a blood clot, and the whole time, the technician was arguing with me “why did she order this stat? There’s nothing serious here!” I think she was upset because she needed to stay one appointment later that day, until 4 PM. Other than that, the shortest I’ve waited before was one week!

While I was lying on the table, in my mind I was thinking that there was something in my right kidney, no big deal. Actually, I wasn’t sure what it was my right or my left. I was talking to the technician while he was checking my right and I said I know that there’s something in one of my kidneys and I was just wondering. He said “well I’m going to tell you it’s probably the right because I see something.” Ok, no worries! We were just laughing and joking and having a great time conversing as he was exploring my kidneys with ultrasound, until he got to my left kidney and got very very quiet. That point I was wondering was the original cyst in my left kidney and now there’s some in both? I knew that he was acting like he shouldn’t have said anything…and I knew that meant he saw something on my left kidney.

I went home and looked up the most current liver scan from 2016, and sure enough, they had seen some cysts on my left. Ok, again, no terrible worries. Actually, yes. I was called the very next day by the hematologist’s office, told that Dr I did not want them to leave me a message, but to make sure they spoke to me, personally. The difficulty was that he couldn’t get a good scan of the cysts because basically I’m too fat. At least that’s what I understood when told that the photo wasn’t good and therefore they needed to send to me in for an MRI on my kidneys. That MRI got scheduled the very next week.

The day after the MRI, I was called by my hematologist, herself and told “okay, we have something on your right kidney that is lighting up with what looks like cancer. And we need a kidney specialist to look at that. Assuming it is cancer, we don’t do biopsies on the kidney all we do is take out the cyst or take out the kidney depending on which is necessary.” She apologized for starting me down this path! The funny thing is, if she hadn’t remembered something from my liver MRI, this would possibly never have been found.

I went from some benign bubbles in my kidneys in early 2000’s, to very complex cyst that lit up with cancer diagnosing dye in less than a month. I just kind of set back, maybe in a bit of shock. She said she was going to call in a referral to one of the kidney clinics here in town and I didn’t hear anything Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and by Thursday I was wondering. So Friday afternoon a friend of mine said, you need to call them. I did I called the hematologist. The person on the phone was disturbed that the clinic had not called me yet. They asked me to wait 15 minutes for them to re-fax over my paperwork, and then to call them.

When I received the scheduling person for the kidney clinic, her first comment was “we’re not scheduling new patients until the end of February can you give me your birthdate.” So of course I gave her my information and she asked me why I was comingin. I said

“My doctor had called for an MRI with contrast and said that there were suspicious things that showed up with the dye to determine whether there was cancer or not.”

The person on the phone said give me a good phone number where I can reach you and I will call you right back. I’m going to talk to my manager and see if I can’t get you in quicker. Actually, the quicker was tomorrow morning. No, actually it’s not because today is Friday, and of course there would not be any openings on Monday so it’s almost as if it was a tomorrow in the doctor’s world. She got me an appointment for Tuesday morning with the leading kidney oncologist at this Hospital.

I’m thrilled with how quick people are working to figure out what’s going on with me, but I’m not used to this. Normally I have to wait for weeks or months. As it is, I’m trying to find out about a misread low back MRI, why my glasses don’t work(double vision), why I have dizzy spells, and what’s wrong with my legs. I’ve gotten the testings done, and I’m waiting for the follow up…which all happens to be next week, as well.

The thing that I keep thinking is, I’m not ready to give up a kidney! Surely there are other treatments for Kidney cancer. I’ve looked up various websites, and they have other options, but, my hemotologist is an oncologist. She would be aware of the current options. I’m trying to play this down. Other people, medical people, seem to be taking this seriously enough that they’re pushing me into a very busy Clinic schedule to be seen.

All the while, tomorrow morning my husband does see his urologist who is treating him for prostate cancer. We are still waiting for a bone marrow biopsy and for someone to figure out what in the world is going on with the medical records from his lymph node biopsy that are all messed up with different names and different procedures and things that had never been done to him. In fact, he was told by the hospital “oh we realized you had multiple patient numbers and so we combined the records.” Unfortunately it was apparently two different people that had two different patient numbers and they ought not to have been combined. So we don’t know what’s going on with my husband and the cancer diagnosis with him.

Was that enough? There are many other things going on in my life that are typical issues of fear, concern, stress. Right now, Cancer has reared it’s ugly head, and the lack of knowledge is one that can cause fear.

So, the giant of fear. Raising his ugly head again. The same scriptures and the same armor and the same God and the same faith will get me through this battle as it has done before, but this time, I have a history with this giant, I have a history of God winning on my behalf.

It appears that there will be surgery on my kidney, but even in the midst of what sounds like a horrible thing to go through, I can see God’s hand all around me.

I have several doctors that are concerned for me, and one that calls me personally!
Without much difficulty, two specialists agree on the treatment – joyfully!
I have peace!

God gives me reminders everywhere with Rainbows!
A new Friend – Lureta – shared a blog about Becoming a Fearless Woman of God!
Another new friend shared Four Uncomfortable Truths about Peace.

These and others have become the comfort that God brings into my life, and encourages me that I can continue run and not be weary, to walk and not faint. It is THE LORD JEHOVAH that will complete the good work that HE began in me!

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries
Obed’s House Ministries
Project Based Missions, Global
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Compassion

Christi’s shorts – or God Winks – Rainbows! 1/31/2018

The Hymnal provides lyrics
Standing on The Promises
Leaning on Jesus (Everlasting Arms)
Are you washed in the Blood?

God’s Promises!
Because of the window film, I am blessed on sunny mornings, and even in the afternoons, to be awoken to the sight of rainbows.

Rainbows are the sign of God’s promise to US!

Genesis 9:12-17
12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: 13 I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh. And the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. 16 When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” 17 God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth.”

So often, I look at the rainbows that God provides in my house, and I am reminded that HE has made promises to ME…
Two of the most important to me are:

Ephesians 2:8-9 English Standard Version (ESV)
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

God began the work in me!

Phil 1:6
For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

God will complete it!

I really expanded on this in the Itty Bitty Bible Study Philippians 1:3-11

There is one other promise for which I am still believing for manifestation in my life:

Isaiah 40:31 English Standard Version (ESV)
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

I received this promise from the Lord when I fell in the Navy and was paralyzed from the waist down. He removed the inflammation, and I was able to walk again. The damage still exists, and I am still struggling with the circumstances, but I am walking. I’m looking forward to the day that I run and am not weary, when I walk and not faint!

When I see the rainbows, I am blessed that God keeps his promises.
Today, I am reminded that HE looks upon the rainbows in the clouds to remember HIS promise to all of mankind! I am so blessed that HE is a faithful God!

Here are some places to look at many Bible Promises scriptures!
Bible Study Tools – Promises
Bible Info
Amazing Facts

What are your specific promises that God has laid upon your heart?

How has God shown His faithfulness to YOU?

Here’s a collection of our rainbow photos over several years…

Niagra

Here is some art and poetry I’ve done with a rainbow theme:

JBpoem5_7

jesus_rainbow5x7

If the above art blesses you, please be my guest to print it. Please do not sell it.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful morning promise with me!

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries
Obed’s House Ministries
Project Based Missions, Global
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Compassion

Glimpses of Heaven – a Glimpse of Jesus

A Glimpse of Jesus

disclaimer –
I’m not saying that I WENT to heaven.
I’m not saying that THIS is what heaven looks like.
This is MY experience in response to a situation for which I was seeking God.
My intent is to offer comfort.

Back in the 1980’s, when we had five children, and didn’t know what we were doing. One night, our oldest son got sick. The ugly, throw up down the side of the bed, kind of sick. I’m not sure what happened to me, but I was having difficulties breathing, and I was lying down in my bed, on the other side of the house. I couldn’t move to help Jim with our son. Things kept coming into and out of view.
All of the sudden, I realized that I was walking on this beautiful green hill, with a beautiful blue sky above my head. The grass was the greenest green I’d ever seen. The river below me was babbling along, with that sweet sound of water just lazily flowing over round rocks, a musical sound that nothing can replicate. In the far distance were purple mountains rising up to meet the blue sky, with bits of white on the tops, mixing in with the white clouds so that it wasn’t obvious where the mountains ended and the clouds began.

“Hello, Christi” a warm, friendly voice spoke. The voice sounded familiar, but it almost didn’t sound at all. It was if everything, including me, resonated with this voice. I turned around.
“Jesus!” I exclaimed! “Where am I?”
“With me, child”

We seemed to take a walk, though we seemed to stay in one place. I thought I was moving, and yet, there was no effort, just a flowing, being, kind of movement. As we walked, I told Him of my concerns for my children, and them growing up to serve him. I told Him of my concerns about being good enough to be their mom. I told Him how I felt worthless as a woman, a wife, a mom and a child of God. I told Him how I felt I was failing Jim and Him.
He listened to all I said, and would interject loving words that seemed to wash away all of my concerns.

“Jesus – I have a question, please.”
“Yes…” He replied, looking me in the eyes, with more love that any mother ever had for her child.
“Am I dead? Is this heaven?”
“Almost, my dear. You are almost dead, but this is just outside of heaven.”
I started asking him questions, and I wasn’t bothered at all that I was mostly dead. I just loved hearing his voice, and feeling that love roll over me like a wave of the ocean on a warm summer day. I wanted to lie down in that green grass, feel the breeze flow over me, and enjoy the musical melody of the water. I don’t remember all that He told me, but for that period of time, nothing matter, except that I was with Jesus. I knew everything I needed to know, I feared nothing, and I was so full of love and joy that I thought I was going to burst!

As I was listening to Jesus, there came a buzz in my ear…like a mosquito that just won’t let you fall asleep. I started waving it off, and it got louder and louder. I didn’t even stop to grasp, why are there mosquitoes in heaven? I just kept swatting it away. I was getting annoyed!
I looked up at Jesus, about to ask why, and saw that He had this interesting, understanding grin on his face.
“christi” – I heard, as if it was far away, as if it were from someone on those mountains…someone yelling my name. The voice was pulling me away from standing there with Jesus. The voice was taking my attention away from focusing on Jesus and this beautiful place. It was if a pull that I could not control were trying to drag me away. I just wanted to be right there, in the sweet green grass, beside the still waters, and enjoy the restoring of my soul!
“Go away”
“Christi”
“Be Quiet!” I said…trying to wave off that pesky voice.
“Christi” – I heard it again, even louder. NOOOOOOooooooooo!

“Jesus, it’s Jim’s voice…why is he interrupting us? Doesn’t he know I’m with you? How dare he interrupt my time with You!”
“Yes, dear, he does. But he’s calling you back.”
“Jesus, NO – I don’t want to go back there…it’s beautiful here, YOU are here,” and I fell on my knees and begged him…tears falling down my cheeks.
“We agreed a long ago that if you called one of us home, we would not demand that they come back…doesn’t he remember that?”
Jesus took my hands in his, and smiled into my face. I could feel the warmth of His glory fall upon me.
“I haven’t call you home yet, my dear.”
As he wiped away my tears, He said,
“My child, you have to go back, he can’t raise the five children without you. He can’t make it without you.”
“Oh, Jesus – sure he can…he’s got the Bible, family and You…just let me stay here. They’ll be fine!”
“CHRistiiiii” – Jim’s voice was getting louder. I turned to see if he was walking up the hill to meet us.
“Lord – I want to stay here with you…please”
“I’m sorry, my child – it’s not your time to come here yet. You have work to do”

As Jim’s voice pulled me closer and closer…I realized that I was being pulled away from the presence of Jesus. It was like one of those sci-fi vortex things from which you cannot escape – crossing dimensions. I reached out for Jesus’ hands, but he was far, far away now, and was disappearing into the vision. The hills were just faded green, I could not smell the grass anymore. I couldn’t make out the mountains from the clouds anymore. The water was so distant, and so soft now that I could barely hear it. I was being pulled back, back to…..

“CHRISTIIII – COME BACK!”
I jerked, and looked up, and a female EMT was on top of me with her hands on my sternum. Her face was white, but a glimmer came across her face and she exclaimed
“We got her!”
I looked to my left, and Jim’s mouth was right at my ear – he’d been shouting in my ear the whole time.
I looked to my right, and saw another EMT, just as white as the first one, taking deep breaths.
“Good – “ and started rattling off those things EMT’s rattle off in emergencies.

I closed my eyes and tried to see the hills, the meadows, the mountains, the river…and Jesus.
They were gone.
The colors had faded.
The touch was gone.
The warmth of His glory was gone.
The peace of that quiet hillside was crashed with the noise of people, children, instructions, machines…and I don’t know what else. It was just loud.

“We thought we’d lost you” Jim said.
I don’t remember right now if I told him, or if I was even able to speak.
All I remember is that I had met with Jesus, seen a glimpse of heaven, and knew that heaven was my home.
All I knew was that I wanted to get back there.
And I knew that Jesus had told me that I was supposed to finish raising my five children.

But He left me with a memory:

Ps 73:25
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Phil 3:20
20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,

Matthew 4:17
17 From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

My heart was filled with a song that my husband, Jim, taught me:
This World is not My Home, three ways.

Have you had a talk with Jesus?

Have you felt His presence in YOUR life in times of struggle, or times of joy?

Have you been near death, and known that Jesus was with you?

please share your comments with me!

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries
Obed’s House Ministries
Project Based Missions, Global
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Compassion

Christi’s Shorts – Jan 16, 2018

Christi’s shorts, or Christi’s God winks
This is day 17/100 for 2018

1.
This morning, I had fasting labs and therefore had not eaten breakfast. I had no intention of eating breakfast and was actually going to not eat for whatever the reason. After my labs, I was driving 45 minutes to the veterinarian to drop off my cat, Gideon. On the way out of the veterinarian parking lot, I heard the still small voice saying eat breakfast.
I didn’t want to eat breakfast;
I had no appetite and the only breakfast that I could come up with between the veterinarian’s and my way home was a McDonald’s breakfast burrito.
I was trying to eat better.
Therefore, as is my norm, I argued with that voice.

As I turned off the road the veterinarian office was on, I had to take a right turn to head home. As I looked ahead, I saw on the left side a brand new Chick-fil-A restaurant that I had not known was there nor had I seen it on my way in to drop off my cat.
One of my favorite breakfasts in the fast food rule world is the Chick-fil-A sausage egg cheese bagel. They also have a nice little fruit cup or a Greek yogurt cup instead of the hash browns and
I like their unsweet iced tea.
I just giggled to myself and looked up to the Lord and said
“of course there’s a Chick-fil-A!”
“Of course I’m supposed to eat breakfast!”
God was looking out for me and looking for way to bless me.

2.
For several years I have had some issues with my eyes. One of the issues has made it difficult, if not impossible, for me to drive at night. On top of not being able to drive at night, I don’t drive at night on country roads because they are not lit. Tonight, because of the timing to go and pick up my cat from the veterinarian’s office after my doctor’s appointment, I was not going to make it to the veterinarian until after 6 p.m. This is January in Florida, and the sun goes down around 6:30. I picked up the cat, went to Chick-fil-A for supper to get the grilled chicken and the Amazing Power Foods salad and more wonderful unsweet iced tea, and headed north towards my home.

As I was getting closer there were a couple routes that I could take and the first one I chose not to take because it goes out in the country and it’s very desolate. But mainly I didn’t go that way because there would be no lights.
There was a secondary way called Lake Louisa Road, which kind of cuts the hypotenuse of a triangle to get towards the road that goes around the lake to get to my house. The thing is it’s a country road. There are no lights.
I heard that still small voice say “take Lake Louisa”
As is my norm, I argued and said “there are no lights, I’m going Hammock Ridge!”

As I came up to the turn I saw a truck going into the left turn lane with a trailer behind it was turning onto Lake Louisa.
Again, I just looked up to the Lord, and laughed and said “so you’re going to provide the light!”

As we turned onto the road I realized that all the way down the road were the white lines on the side that reflected, but not only that, this very a;most desolate dark road had those reflectors embedded into the center line.

As I giggled at how God had arranged for me to take the shorter route home, I looked up and said “so now I can slow down to the speed limit because I don’t have to keep up with the truck in the trailer!” Shortly after I realized that I was able to see to drive, the truck with the trailer turned off.

Again, God had found a special way to let me know that I was hearing his voice and as I obeyed, I was blessed.

I almost missed these blessings by arguing with God’s still small voice – but when I obeyed, I was able to see His hand just wanting to bless me.

Isaiah 30 is titled in one version “God deals with an Obstinate nation”. Sometimes, it’s titled Rebellious.
My arguing was my being obstinate.

Here are some of the promises he makes to his rebellious children:

Is 30:15 For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”

Is 30:18-19 18 Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for him.
19 For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you.

And one of my favorites:

Is 30:21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

It is my prayer that God would open my ears and eyes to hear and see Him, and to recognize His loving hand as He holds me in His palm.
I pray that I recognize this still small voice, and stop arguing! Please Lord, continue to help me, and don’t give up on me!
In Jesus’ name!
Amen

Do you ever hear God’s still small voice telling you which way to go?

Has God blessed you in a special way today?

Please share with me in the comments!

For prayerful reflection ;
Open My Eyes by Maranatha Singers

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries
Obed’s House Ministries
Project Based Missions, Global
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
Compassion

By His Stripes, I am Healed!

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah – 53:5

I wrote a blog about being prepared…and finding out about my husband having cancer was hard to prepare for!
finding out that the special, state of the art, 98% successful procedure didn’t work, was hard to prepare for.
finding out the second one – shown by the PSA rising again – was unsuccessful…that was hard to prepare for!
going through the scans to find out where the cancer was hiding…

- MRI – nothing in the prostate (except some prostate …about 1/2 the size of normal) – that was not something that we had prepared for.
  1. first, why was there prostate tissue? it was all supposed to have been burned away, as we understood it.
  2. second, why is there no cancer there, and the rising PSA indicated cancer…somewhere.
  We weren’t prepared well for this.
- CT scan – Bone scan – NOTHING!!!!!

WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS!!!!

Did I pray for Jim’s healing?
YES!
Were other’s praying for Jim’s healing?
YES!
Did it come the way we thought?
NO!!!

What do you do when God answers your prayer – and you weren’t ready for the answer?
I was not prepared!
I had geared up for a battle.
I had planned my long walk in the dark place – believing against all the odds….

AND GOD!

I WAS NOT PREPARED TO SEE A MIRACLE!

I thought I was walking in faith…looking forward to God’s hand moving….
and I was looking forward…preparing for a future fight…and I almost missed God’s miracle in the NOW!!!

Heb 11:1 – Faith is the substance of things hoped for…the evidence of things unseen….IN THE FUTURE… this is the instructions for waiting for God to arrive…Right???
gird up your loins…
be ready to run with the horses…
Elijah – was looking FORWARD to the rain…before he saw ANY CLOUD in the sky!

AND GOD CAME INTO OUR LIVES…
GOD TOUCHED JIM’S BODY
AND GOD HAS DESTROYED THE CANCER!!!

Does the enemy still rule over this earth? yes.
Does death still roam this earth? yes.

BUT GOD RULES OVER ALL! and says – death, where is your sting! Grave where is your victory? 1 Corinthians 15:55

Honest transparency –
I was working on the faith – for the future…for the healing I couldn’t see.
I’m struggling with the manifestation – the reality – that they found NO CANCER anywhere in Jim’s body!
Why is that?

Faith is the substance of things HOPED FOR..
the evidence of things NOT SEEN!.Heb 11:1

24For in this hope we were saved; but hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he can already see? 25But if we hope for what we do not yet see, we wait for it patiently. 26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words…Romans 8:24-26

I was prepared to WAIT…
I’m used to waiting….
I’m prepared to wait…and wait…and wait…
God’s going to heal me…I believe it….
God’s going to deliver me…I believe it….
God’s going to ….GOING TO!

17For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

Yes…I was believing in what I could not see….
and preparing for Jim’s potential death.
So was he.
So were the doctors.
Especially the one that did the treatments…
“I’m sorry man…I’m so sorry…It’s moved out of the confinement…there’s nothing I can do for you”

We were preparing to NOT see a miracle of healing….
We were preparing to see God give us grace to walk through the fire.

There are so many scriptures I could list…of how we were preparing…to accept the NO answer…even not now, which is what it had been, twice.
WE ALMOST MISSED THE ANSWER!!!

Now…I am going to be working on believing that Jim IS HEALED…and that GOD has glorified Himself in Jim’s body!

What about my body?
Well, I was awakened by extreme pain in my lower legs tonight.
I cried out, and battled with the enemy – reminding him that I had asked the Lord for deliverance from this pain.
The Lord met me, and instructed me to go – drink some water – and write this blog.
What level is the pain in my legs now?
0-1 – but more like .5…seriously…0
I’m again, having trouble believing what I AM SEEING IN MY OWN BODY!
I HAVE LIVED SO MANY YEARS WITH PAIN…from the past things done to me, and from the things I have done that did not help those issues be released.’
I have not followed food protocol
I have not followed drink protocol
I have not followed exercise moderation (it’s either a triathlon, or sit in a chair with my foot in a boot)
I have not followed the purposes for which I am called.
I have not fought the fight – I have not stood against the enemy….I was preparing to wait.
I was not standing fast in the liberty wherein Christ has set me FREE!
I was not resisting the enemy so that he would flee!
I WAS ABDICATING MY POSITION AS A CHILD OF GOD!

This morning – while attending church with our daughter, Faith…
the church sang this song:

https://youtu.be/zbiXg_1lXQk

And the Holy Spirit fell upon the congregation, and the pastor, and He spoke things into my heart about knowing that God will move the mountain…he’s done it before, he’ll do it again…he has not failed me….the song says “yet” – by the forth or fifth time of the chorus…I was dropping the yet.

God has not failed me.
I’ve seen him move mountains.
I’ve seen him raise from the dead.
I’ve seen him heal broken bones.
I’ve seen him restore marriages.
I’ve seen him deliver from demons.
God had not failed me!
Not ever, Not before, not future, and NOT NOW!!!

Who moved?
I did.
And I am so glad that God loves me right where I am.
I am so glad that God answers my prayers, even when I’m not ready to see them!
I am confessing my doubts – and my anxieties – and declaring that Jesus is MY LORD, and I say YES to the call to follow (First Baptist Orlando had a great message this morning as well. when it’s posted, I’ll attach it here.)
As Beth Moore taught us:
I Believe:
1. God is who he says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ.
5. God’s word is alive and active in me!
I am believing God.
Believing God bookmarks
From The Beth Moore Believing God study.

I was preparing to see God move.
I WANT TO BE EXPECTANT!

How about you?

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!
I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Itty Bitty Bible Study – Ephesians 1:7-14

My thoughts for the Itty Bitty Bible Study group on Facebook. (join if you’d like to get these in fb!)

In the IBBS Ephesians Introduction, I shared my thoughts on Ephesians 1:1-2.

IBBS Ephesians 1:3-6

note from previous post: In my research, I have found some that say that verses 3-14 are all one long sentence.
It is commonly known that the verses, the chapters, and maybe even some gramatical markings were not necessarily in the original texts. The KJV has it split up with colons and semi-colons.
ESV has added periods.

Ephesians 1

Moving along in this very long sentence!

Ephesians 1:7-14

7 In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of our trespasses,
according to the riches of his grace,
8 which he lavished upon us,
in all wisdom and insight
9 making known to us the mystery of his will,
according to his purpose,
which he set forth in Christ
10 as a plan for the fullness of time,
to unite all things in him,
things in heaven and things on earth.

11 In him we have obtained an inheritance,
having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will,
12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.
13 In him you also,
when you heard the word of truth,
the gospel of your salvation,
and believed in him,
were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it,
to the praise of his glory.

IN HIM
Everything is IN HIM! – Remember!

vs 3 – blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing
vs 4 – he chose us in him
vs 5 – adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ(or, IN Jesus Christ)
vs 6 – to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

And Paul continues – IN HIM!

7 In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of our trespasses,
according to the riches of his grace,
8 which he lavished upon us,
in all wisdom and insight

EPHESIANS 1:7 AMP
7 In Him we have redemption [that is, our deliverance and salvation] through His blood, [which paid the penalty for our sin and resulted in] the forgiveness and complete pardon of our sin, in accordance with the riches of His grace

Remission through His blood

Hebrews 9:22; Lev 17:11
Genesis 3...animal skins…animals had to die to cover their sin.
Matthew 26:28 For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.

The forgiveness of sins

1 John 1:9
Is 43:25-26
Ps 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Grace

Colossians 1:13-14 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved,through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Additional verses

Ephesians 1:8‭-‬10 KJV

8 Wherein he hath abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence;9 Having made known unto us the mystery of his will,
according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself:
10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ,
both which are in heaven,
and which are on earth; even in him:

Breaking this down:

8 (grace?)which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and understanding [with practical insight]

This seems to first refer to the grace in verse 7
Then…

…in all wisdom. And understanding…
He made known to us the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure,
which He purposed in Christ,
with regard to the fulfillment of the times [that is, the end of history, the climax of the ages]–
to bring all things together in Christ,
[both] things in the heavens and things on the earth.
EPHESIANS 1:9‭-‬10 AMP

Mystery of his will – He shares His secrets with us, like He shared His plans with Abraham!
According to his good pleasure – It is HIS PLEASURE to share with us!
Which he purposed in Christ – All things are IN CHRIST – and HE is intentional about His plans for us!
Regard to the fulfillment of the times – The End times…just like He shared with Abrahamm about Sodom and Gomorrah
To bring all things together in Christ – God’s purpose was always about reconciliation
In the heavens and on earth. – To be reunited with Him – to walk with Him, not in the garden like Adam and Eve, but in HIS home!

We have been given insight into the end of the story!
The story HE began at creation!

The study of end times is called eschatology. There are plenty of studies on eschatology…
I’ll link a few I like, here.

Hal Lindsey
Got Questions – eschatology
I like Keith Green’s quote from years ago – when asked did he believe in pre or post trib, he replied:
“Pray for Pre, prepare for Post.”

Back to the verses:

EPHESIANS 1:11‭-‬14 AMP
11 In Him also we have received an inheritance [a destiny–we were claimed by God as His own],
having been predestined (chosen, appointed beforehand)
according to the purpose of Him who works everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His will,
12 so that we who were the first to hope in Christ [who first put our confidence in Him as our Lord and Savior] would exist to the praise of His glory.
13 In Him, you also, when you heard the word of truth, the good news of your salvation, and [as a result] believed in Him, were stamped with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit [the One promised by Christ] as owned and protected [by God].
14 The Spirit is the guarantee [the first installment, the pledge, a foretaste] of our inheritance until the redemption of God’s own [purchased] possession [His believers], to the praise of His glory.

An inheritance – only heirs get an inheritance –
Predestined – chosen, planned for, known from before the foundations of the world…
vs 11 – According to his purpose who works everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His will – This points to Romans 8:28!

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.

and just for good measure –

Romans 8:29-30
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

This ties in with Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

This reminds me of what I was thinking in IBBS Ephesians 1:3-6

But this whole plan was constructed and conceived because HE loves, because HE loves us, from before the foundations of the world.

My word of the day meditation on February 15th 2017 talks about my choices and HIS plans!
Jeremiah 1:5 talks about being known before we were conceived
Jeremiah 29:11-13 talks about the plans HE has for us.
Psalm 139 talks about being fearfully and wonderfully made

Here is the foundation piece, we love because he first loved us. In addition we are because he first loved us. We will be because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Our past, our present, and our future are all enmeshed in His love for us.
There is nothing about God that isn’t done because of his love.
Because of His great love, we are not destroyed!Lamentations 3:22
When we look at First Corinthians 13 describing What Love Is, it really is a description of God.
Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious, does not rejoice in wrongdoing.
We can go through the names of God and see His love in every name even those that are considered harsh or cruel.

we were chosen for his purpose

For we are God’s handiwork,
created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

Back to the verses – why? Why did God do all of this?

Ephesians 1:12 NIV

12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

Referring to those that first believed…

13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation.

And it’s true for those of us that believed since then!

Ephesians 1:13 NIV
When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,

We’ve been marked..sealed…set aside for our protection – Revelation 7:3. similar to the blood on the doorposts at the time of the Exodus.(Exodus 12:23). Ezekiel talked about those that grieve over sin being marked in their forehead! (Ezekiel 9:4).
We are marked – as GOD’S OWN!!!

Ephesians 1:14AMP
(Holy Spirit)who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.The Spirit is the guarantee [the first installment, the pledge, a foretaste] of our inheritance until the redemption of God’s own [purchased] possession [His believers], to the praise of His glory.

When someone creates a will, the proof of the promise of the will is that document. In our case, the proof of our salvation is being filled with the Holy Spirit.
Until the end of the story, when we see redemption face to face.
Hebrews 11:1

We can’t see our salvation…but the Holy Spirit, in us, confirms it.

That leads me back toEphesians 2:8-9

We are Saved by grace through faith and that not of your own…it’s the gift of God

This all seems to go around and around…like a song that is building and building…

redemption
forgiveness
grace
wisdom
chosen
plan
inheritance
reconciliation

Move some of these around, and it’s the plan of salvation – focusing upon the glories of His love for us, and that we are created for HIS praise and glory.

Here’s how I drew it out:

I hope you enjoyed this…and here is a song that really put something in perspective:

There is a phrase – you didn’t want heaven without us, so you brought heaven down.
Because of HIS great love towards us…we have salvation.
Everything is because of HIS GREAT LOVE – and HE loves US!

Amen!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2017 – My One Word – #mydays – wk8 day 3

I have started to read the book My One Word by Mike Ashcroft. (the link is added, but I do not have a partnership at this point).

Of course, this is still true:
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

#mydays

This is my insight for today – seeking wisdom from the Lord, and from my daily writing via 750words
This is not a grammatically correct writing – this is from a free flowing thought writing during my meditation. Some captitalization issues are more for poetic/artistic impact than grammar. Some of the flow, and sentence structure is more poetic than accurate writing code. Please be gracious as I share my heart.

Today’s came out as raw poetically.

and now, I need to be strong and courageous, not tremble or be dismayed.
the Lord my God shall be with me wherever I go
I need to be doing the art blog as well as the bible blog and the words blog
i need to be doing my bible study, my prayer, my spiritual warfare
I need to be a loving and supportive wife
i need to be a praying mama
i need to be a praying sponsor of my compassion and my NHM childre
i need to be a praying friend
i need to be what God has called me to be
and I need to allow that calling to be real…and all that i need.
all i need is Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
if i am more like Jesus
then i will not be seen
because if i’m more like Jesus
his love is all they’ll see
my heart is hurt
my mind is dull
my body is broken and tired
but all i need is Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to love and love
and all others will see is his love
i am not what others need to look at
i am not the prince of peace
i am not what others need to be like
i am not the creator of the universe
i am just a simple follower
i am just one saved by grace
i am just a simple child
that has turned my life to the father of lights
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
when darkness comes and
i’m so afraid
when lightning strikes and
i can’t see thy face
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is my own Gethsemane
all i need is to lay down my life
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with His spirit
all i need is to be yielded to his grace.
my body is torn and tired and weary
my mind is split and fuzzy and blamed
my heart is sore, and wounded and troubled
but i’m a child of God
and I’m saved by grace
all i need is to be like Jesus
all i need is to be more like Him
all i need is to be filled with His spirit
all i need is to seek his face
His face
His grace
His love
fill me lord
His love
his peace
his joy
fill me lord
fill me lord

be near me lord Jesus i ask thee to stay
close by me forever and love me i pray
keep all your dear children in thy tender care
and take us to heaven to live with thee there.

all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with his spirit
all i need is to seek his face
all i need is to lay down my life
all i need is to embrace his grace
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him.
all i need is to love like Jesus
so those that see me will see his face.
in Jesus’ name
amen

My 750words entry for today.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Itty Bitty Bible Study – Ephesians 1:3-6

My thoughts for the Itty Bitty Bible Study group on Facebook. (join if you’d like to get these in fb!)

In the IBBS Ephesians Introduction, I shared my thoughts on Ephesians 1:1-2.

In my research, I have found some that say that verses 3-14 are all one long sentence.
It is commonly known that the verses, the chapters, and maybe even some gramatical markings were not necessarily in the original texts. The KJV has it split up with colons and semi-colons.
ESV has added periods.
I’m not sure if God is concerned how we break it down, as long as we choose to read his word, to apply our hearts to wisdom! I think Psalm 90:12 applies here!

Ephesians 1:
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,
4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before him.
In love
5 he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ,
according to the purpose of his will,
6 to the praise of his glorious grace,
with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

I really do not want to deal with the predestination and election theology. That is WAAAAAY above my pay grade.
There are many teachers out there pro and con predestination and election – and one can simply do a google to find whichever point of view feels right. I even hate saying it like that. But, this issue can become a very volatile and divisive issue, and I do not believe that is the point Paul is trying to promote here.

I want to focus on how God the Father positioned us to be sons!(and daughters)

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In Christ, God has given us every spiritual blessing in heaven.
4 In Christ, he chose us before the world was made. He chose us in love to be his holy people—people who could stand before him without any fault.
5 And before the world was made, God decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ. This was what God wanted, and it pleased him to do it.
6 And this brings praise to God because of his wonderful grace. God gave that grace to us freely. He gave us that grace in Christ, the one he loves.

Praise be to God the father of our Lord Jesus Christ

That’s a good start for a confession of faith.

In Christ.

That is our profession of salvation. That is our position.
It is from that position, that we should be everything else in our walk, in our lives.
We are seated in the heavenlies with him.(Ephesians 2:6)
We are joint heirs with him.(Romans 8:17)
In this verse we find out that we are blessed in him.

Every spiritual blessing in heaven.

There is a song that I love called I Can Only Imagine.
There is nothing we can compare to being blessed with every spiritual blessing in heaven!
It will be exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20)
Right now we can only see through a glass Darkly.(1 Corinthians 13:12)

In Christ, he chose us before the world was made.
He chose us in love to be his holy people—people who could stand before him without any fault.

In Christ is the first blessing. Because it’s by faith by grace through faith and that not of ourselves that we are saved. Which we will see in Ephesians 2:8-9.

Here is the tricky part, He chose us before the world was made.
This gets into the predestination and election.
The thing is, do I believe the Bible means what the Bible says?
Yes I do.
I believe God the Father chose each one of us

before He created the world,
before Adam and Eve fell,
before he sent his son,
before my mother and father met,
before I was conceived,
before I was born,
God chose me!

The tricky question, which will come up in this book, is, if God chose people from before creation does that mean He chose those to go to hell?
When we stand before God on the judgement day, we will not be judged on whether God chose us or not, we will be judged on whether we chose God or not.
I’ve been doing a Bible study group at church about God being sovereign. In that group the teacher is talking about God’s perfect will and his permissive will.

Pastor Jimmy Knott, from First Baptist Orlando is doing a study on God’s Will.
He’s talked about God’s Determined or Decreed Will and God’s Desired or Permissive will.

here’s some of my notes:

Many years ago in a Thompson Chain reference Bible, there was illustration that shows the two sides of God’s will. It is from the Bible analysis of Romans.

God’s ways are above my ability to comprehend.
The main thing for me is to know the God has had a plan for me from before the foundation of the world!

He chose us in love …

Why did he choose me? Because he loved me.
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever whosoever whosoever.

God chose us in love. This brings us back to Genesis 1.
Why did God create? Love.
God chose us before the foundations of the world because of love. Therefore he had to create a world for us in which we could live.
God created the heavens and the Earth and everything that dwells therein, because he loves.
Even simpler, God is love.

He chose us in love to be his holy people—people who could stand before him without any fault.

Chose us to be His holy people.
Holy does not mean perfect, holy means set apart on to him.
Second part of this says “people who could stand before him without any fault.”
That is why Jesus came. In 1st John 1 we are told the followers of Christ do not sin but that if we say we have no sin we lie and that if and when we sin we have an advocate with the Father which is Jesus Christ and that we can pray and ask forgiveness and he will washes clean of our sins. 1 John 2
We stand before God the Father without any faults because God the son, Jesus Christ, took our sins on the cross, and paid the price, so that we are seen as if we had never sinned.
Justified equals just as if I’d never sinned.

5 And before the world was made, God decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ. This was what God wanted, and it pleased him to do it.

Why did God do this?
Because he wanted to, and it pleased him to do so.

God decided to make us his own children.
That is the whole purpose for creation, for God to have children.

God wasn’t surprised that Eve listened to the serpent, that Adam listened to Eve, and they both sinned.
God wasn’t surprised that Cain killed Abel.
God wasn’t surprised that Moses killed an Egyptian.
God wasn’t surprised that Ruth left with Naomi and met up with Boaz and had a child.
God wasn’t surprised that it was the Seventh Son of Jesse that chose to worship God and therefore was chosen for the king of Israel.
God wasn’t surprised when Herod sent out the soldiers to kill babies around the time Christ was born.
God wasn’t surprised when the people of Jesus’s day kept trying to kill him before his time.
God wasn’t surprised when Judas betrayed Christ with a kiss.
God wasn’t surprised when Jesus hung on the cross to pay the price
God wasn’t surprised that Jesus rose from the dead because that was God’s plan from before creation!

The reason that God created from the beginning was so that you and I could become His children through Jesus Christ’s death, burial and Resurrection.
The plan was that the Father would draw us to Him!John 6:44
Just in case we weren’t able to handle it(which he knew we would not be) God gave us the gift of faith so that we could believe in the grace of the cross. Ephesians 2:8-9
He gave us the gift of repentance so that we could turn away from our Wicked Ways and humble ourselves and seek his face. 2 Tim 2:25
Everything that we have comes from God’s hand.

6 And this brings praise to God because of his wonderful grace. God gave that grace to us freely. He gave us that grace in Christ, the one he loves.

This is preparing us for ephesians 2:8-9.
And it gives us our appropriate response for the grace that God has given us that we should praise God from whom all blessings flow!

He gave us the grace in Christ, the one he loves.
He gave us the grace to Believe In Christ, and
He gave us the grace to become children of God, through Christ, whom he loves.

But this whole plan was constructed and conceived because HE loves, because HE loves us, from before the foundations of the world.

My word of the day meditation on February 15th 2017 talks about my choices and HIS plans!
Jeremiah 1:5 talks about being known before we were conceived
Jeremiah 29:11-13 talks about the plans HE has for us.
Psalm 139 talks about being fearfully and wonderfully made

Here is the foundation piece, we love because he first loved us. In addition we are because he first loved us. We will be because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Our past, our present, and our future are all enmeshed in His love for us.
There is nothing about God that isn’t done because of his love.
Because of His great love, we are not destroyed!Lamentations 3:22
When we look at First Corinthians 13 describing What Love Is, it really is a description of God.
Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious, does not rejoice in wrongdoing.
We can go through the names of God and see His love in every name even those that are considered harsh or cruel.

In the King James Version – Ephesians 1:6 says:

To the praise of the glory of HIS grace, where in HE hath made us acceptable in the Beloved.

Acceptable in the Beloved.
Why would I want to be anywhere else?

That’s my thoughts for today….I hope this blessed you!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2017 My One Word – #mydays – wk5day3

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

This is today’s 750words. It’s about #mydays.

Warning – it is NOT a theological discussion! It does contain potential triggering information.

It is my heart cry to understand.

deep breath
i wish that i had a whole lot more experience with good doctors.
doctors that cared about their patients, and cared about the outcome and that were more concerned about their healthy recovery than their money.
why would someone go into medicine and not be concerned about their patients?
really, do so many go in just to have a profitable career?
Lord you brought S and M into our lives at a very difficult time, and for them, the time has gotten very difficult.
it’s negligence and a man’s life is in danger.
this make me furious.

thank you, lord for the senior tech that did my eyes yesterday.
thank you, lord that she and i were able to come up with a possible cause. sugar!
ok, another reason for me to stop sugar! sigh.
i’m supposed to be taking care of this temple.
and I eat sugar when i am frustrated, angry, sad, glad, afraid!
i eat sugar to comfort and to celebrate.
why?
my emotions are not allowed!
it’s more acceptable for someone to eat their emotions than to show their emotions.
it feels better to scream that i am angry about a doctor not caring for my friend well.
but, with a quiet man as my husband – and it’s not his fault – i tend to try to be more quiet for him. he’d laugh at that! but lord, you know it’s true.
it’s more acceptable to go to a party and sit and eat cake and drink alcohol than it is to jump up and down and hug and high five…unless of course you are watching a football game and at a football party/bar.
i’m really a very demonstrative person – at least I used to be.
as a child – i loved to do things and give things and make things for people, and i remember the time i was surprised with my first bike for my birthday. i ran and jumped up on my dad to give him a hug, i probably screamed! I was so happy.
i wonder what happened.

i don’t have to wonder too hard – sex happened.
if i made him mad – sex
if i made him happy – sex
if he gave me something – sex
it was always sex
and then i would hurt
of course, a child would hurt from the sex of an adult –
13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2
EIGHTEEN MONTHS
sex done to a child would hurt –
it’s why the ob/gyns in the navy saw such damage to my vagina and cervix –
it’s why they said i could never have children
my insides were such a mess the stoic navy guy doc gasped when doing the exam.
“it’s a mess in here! What happened?” actually – wth happened here?
He actually jumped.
I didn’t know – so I asked “what are you talking about.”
he quickly composed himself – “oh, just some scarring.”
12 years later the memories returned.
but it took years for me to put the pieces together, the things that happened in the present(at that time) while i did not remember, and put them together with the memories.
timelines – i want timelines!
but my memories are fading…i only have my journals.
and, the book. I’m supposed to write this book about my past, how i got to my present and my goals for my future.
and, i wonder if that doctor had told me what he’d seen, would i have started to remember? of course, they were not allowed to ‘lead’ a victim…they were not allowed to plant ideas into the head of a victim.
so I went along through life, wondering what was wrong with me…not knowing that it was something done to me.
what about doctors?
what about the family doctor that cared for me…shouldn’t he have known?
except there was nothing they could do back then, unless the child said something.
thank GOD that my mom apparently found out when I was 12 – sent me away to Florida, and separated from, then divorced my dad.
family called me the whore, the hussy, the tramp, slut – but i had no idea what had happened to me.
such horrors cause the brain to break into little pieces. thing were locked away.

but that trip to Florida set me up to meet Jerry the evangelist – and find out how to be a christian – to find out how to read the bible(didn’t know that was part of being a christian) – found out that I love love love the bible.
The memories almost ruined our marriage.
The memories still haunt our marriage.
The memories still hinder our marriage.
the memories, well, the act, has left scars in my body, my mind, my heart – and even in my spirit and whether i can trust my father God.
But I have learned grace.
I have learned forgiveness.
I’m still learning grace and forgiveness – daily.
but, mostly, it’s learning to give myself grace and mercy, extend forgiveness to myself – and then, to allow God to fill me with His Spirit – and to believe what I’ve written – that I have been chosen since before the foundation of the world.
I am loved by the creator of the universe!
I have worth, because THE GOD says so!
And who am I to argue with God?
I love you Lord Jesus – I ask you to stay
close by me forever and love me I pray
keep all your dear children in your tender care
and take us to heaven to live with thee there.
Amen!

No wonder I’ve struggled with suicide and depression all of my life.
No wonder I am an advocate for mental health awareness and rights.
No wonder I feel for those that cannot speak for themselves, that do not understand what is going on, that are bullied, abused, baited and attacked.
My past experiences have made me who I am.
My faith in Jesus Christ has kept me alive.
My heart is filled with emotion, and I feel so much.
I pray that I am a light, a source of grace and love to everyone.
In Jesus’ name.

I need to write this book – That is what today’s 750words has opened up for me.
I am able to write about this, without falling apart for weeks, or ending up in the hospital.
I am able to be ridiculed and called names without falling apart.
I have grown – and for that I thank Jehovah – Yhwh – G_d – through Jesus Christ, and by His Holy Spirit.
If it’s not clear which God I serve…it’s because someone isn’t listening!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!

Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2016 – Arting at Stone Mountain Georgia(prepare)

Before we left for Atlanta and Stone Mountain, I was preparing my art materials in order to take them with us. One of my tools is a camera. The preparation was so that I could utilize one of the gifts that God has placed within me.

This is the meditation that came about as I thought about painting as worship. It also includes a meditation after I lost my camera.

~Christi

Psalm 139:14 I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Ephesians 2:10 I was created in Christ for good works which God prepared beforehand that ib should walk in them.

He gives everyone gifts. Got Questions has written an answer to how does God give spiritual gifts.

1 Peter 4:10 We are expected to use the gifts that we have been given!

Romans 11:29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance

Matthew 5:14-17New International Version (NIV)

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I have been told that I have a gift when it comes to art.
I have not been so sure, until folks that do art are doing things that amaze me, and tell me that my work, without training, is amazing.
I have denied what I have – and therefore, I have not used it for any type of worship consistently.

Don’t bury your gift/ talents !!!

Matthew 25:14-30
Luke 19:11-27

The parable of the talents is very scary when you look at the one that buried his talent…sent into outer darkness.
In Lukes version, they were brought and killed.
That’s a high price for hiding your talent!

Like forgive as we are forgiven…if you don’t forgive, God will not forgive you.

Matthew 6:14-15(Right after the Lord’s Prayer!)
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiveness is a gift. From God. Therefore, we should give forgiveness!
Ephesians 4:32
Colossians 3:13

Mercy is how we are given forgiveness.
Deuteronomy 4:31
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

A commentary about God’s Mercy is very enlightening.

Grace is how we receive the gift of faith.

Ephesians 2:8-9New International Version (NIV)

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

To not give forgiveness when it’s been freely given is to say that I have more right to be wounded than God!
To not be merciful when I’ve been given so much mercy is to cheapen that gift.
To not give grace through forgiveness is to hide that gift of God under a bushel.

Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works (for which we are created) and glorify your father in heaven.

This is how we turn our gifts back to God as worship.

So, on October 6, 2016, I chose to walk out to a pavilion, carrying my painting supplies, in order to worship God in the nature, and to paint as worship to Him!

Update; three days later –
That day, I took photos in order to paint after leaving the area. Once we arrived in Ohio from Atlanta, I searched for that camera, and it is no where to be found.

I fell prey to the enemy telling me that I was not worthy to be an artist for Christ. And, he’s right. I am not worthy.

I wrote this on Facebook:

I was so excited about painting at Stone Mountain.
I was so excited about my first plein air painting.
I was content to finish it with the photograph on my camera.
I was looking forward to painting Stone Mountain from the photos I was able to take as we left the park.
I am devastated to realize that the camera is missing – and unless it shows up in Jim Wildman’s computer bag(no reason for it to be there}, it is gone. Last known place is the rental car we turned in at Atlanta.
Even worse? I have no idea what other photos are on the camera,
And, today, I will not be able to take photos of our grandson playing football.
I’m feeling very stupid, careless, and a hundred other negative feelings about myself. The camera is part of my ‘job’ tools. If Jim Wildman were to lose his laptop, a composer lose his sheet music in progress, or a dancer lose her shoes – it would be similar in devastation.

I’m so sad. and the worst part is that I wanted photos of the grandkids.

I am not worthy – except that I have embraced Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to bear the name of Christ – as in Christian. IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to be a standard bearer, an ambassador for him. The enemy always forgets that part when attacking me! or any of us!

It always seems to be that once I commit to doing something for the Lord, something happens to undermine it. The other interesting part of this is that I felt that I needed to defend my discouragement by pointing out the issues like not being able to photograph our grandson. That was important, but, I have hidden my talents for so many years that I was really thrilled to pull them out and try to let them shine. I had a phone to take photos of our grandson. And they turned out pretty well! In my own lack of worth, I felt that I was not even good enough consider the loss of my camera for the art’s sake as important.

Was God surprised about the camera? Of course not.
Can we replace the camera? Yes – though we’d rather not spend that money right now.
Does God forgive me my carelessness? Of course.
Do I? That is a different story! Probably a different post!
Did God stop loving me or call me an unprofitable servant? Of course NOT!
Do I? call myself an unprofitable servant? It’s been known to happen.

There is something about learning to see myself with Jesus’s eyes.
This song is for me and my friend Shirley –

The upside is that Jim will be stopping by home, and coming back with our other camera, and we will be back in Atlanta before I return home. We will drive back to Stone Mountain, and by God’s grace and mercy, snap a few more photos so that I can share the glory of God!
No matter how dismal the situation seems, if my heart is focused upon serving the Lord Jesus, He will make all things work together for the good!

Romans 8:28-30

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Preparation?

First – know that you are called and have a calling! that means preparing with a relationship with the Creator God through His son, Jesus Christ.
Second – have the tools ready, available, and portable to go when and where you are called. Prepare with packing and packaging!
Third – Remember that our enemy is a roaring lion, prowling about looking for whom he can destroy. Prepare for the battles!
Fourth, and this may be the most important – prepare my heart by hiding God’s word within!

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my life. Once I have the new photos of Stone Mountain, I will post those here, and maybe even the finished painting!

Me and My Love

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank Blue Letter Bible and
Bible Gateway and
Bible Hub for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries