Tag Archives: Joy

Itty Bitty Bible Study – Ruth Summary

My thoughts for the Itty Bitty Bible Study group on Facebook. (join if you’d like to get these in fb!)

This brought me to mind of being brought out of darkness – into the Kingdom of His dear son.
We’ve just left the Christmas season – and this seems to be a beautiful declaration of what has occurred to Ruth through Naomi!

Isaiah 9:2 – The people who walk in darkness Will see a great light; Those who live in a dark land, The light will shine on them.
2 Corinthians 4:6 – For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
1 Peter 2:9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

I found these verses in one place – at Knowing Jesus – 13 Bible Verses about From Darkness to Light.

Ruth 2
This brought to mind God’s provision –

Ps 23:1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
Philipians 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Ruth sought the Kingdom of God, and He supplied!

Luke 12:31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Ruth 3
This was a little crazy, but it did bring to mind that God orchestrates the events of human life in order to bring about His plan. His ways are not our ways! This is a warning to not judge – even if I think I can judge the behavior!

Isaiah 55:8-9
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I get so stuck in my own perceived “right and wrong” that I can miss God’s voice.
That is NOT saying that I believe that anything goes for a Christian – follower of Christ!
Ruth did NOT go to the threshing floor out of lasciviousness, and seduction – she went out of obedience, and in the anointing of the Lord. They DID avoid all appearance of evil – and they did NOTHING sinful.

I don’t know how this plays out in the life of a Christian. I do know that I need to let God be bigger than my ideas of HIM, in order for HIM to do HIS work in my life. Pick up a hitchhiker? speak to a homeless person? spend time with a Wiccan? Comfort a homosexual? If God says so – if it is for God’s work, and showing God’s love – we have to be open to HIS direction.
My hardest sinner to handle? The liar.

Leviticus 19:11 ‘You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another.

Rev 21:8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars–they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

I try very hard not to lie.

Matthew 7:1-5
1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

This is a hard lesson for me. I feel that this sin is a simple thou shalt not.
And yet – I have some difficulty with sin – even this one at times!

But when I need to look at the beam in my own eye – I go to these verses:

Exodus 20
1 And God spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Then, for good measure, I can add this one in:

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

If that is not enough to humble me, I look at Matthew 5, 6, & 7. Galatians 5, Titus, Romans – and on and on and on.
I can only ask others to join me on this journey – and share with them the experiences I’ve had – and support them in their walk with Jesus.

Ruth 4

From a legal perspective – Obed was Naomi’s son – to redeem Elimelech’s land. Which meant that nothing financially was beneficial to Boaz.
But in Biblical history – it’s through Boaz’s line that Obed’s lineage is named, as well as Jesus’s. Elimelech was not mentioned in the genealogies. Only Boaz, the son of Rahab!

This family has been through much torment – and I get a sense of PEACE – that transcends the story!

Philipians 4:6-7
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled; do not be afraid.

Grace –

2 Corinthians 2:8-9
8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written: “He has scattered abroad His gifts to the poor; His righteousness endures forever.”

It is all about the condition of the heart:

Proverbs 21:21 He who pursues righteousness and loyalty Finds life, righteousness and honor.

And of course, this whole story is such a beautiful foreshadowing of Christ calling us out of darkness, drawing us to Himself, and redeeming our lives from the destroyer.

I hope that you have enjoyed this study – I have certainly learned much.
I have enjoyed both Matthew Henry’s Commentaries and the Torah Class on Ruth.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

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Christmas Carols Considerations – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

The first Christmas Carol I’m considering is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen sung by a traditional choir.

Wikipedia contains the history of this song.

The first recorded version is found in Three New Christmas Carols, dated c. 1760.

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay
For Jesus Christ, our Savior was born on Christmas Day
To save us all from Satan’s powers when we were gone astray

Glad tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Glad tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel this blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary did nothing take in scorn

Chorus

From God our Heavenly Father a blessed angel came
And unto certain shepherds brought tidings of the same
How that in Bethlehem was born the Son of God by name

Chorus

“Fear not then, said the angel, let nothing you affright
This day is born a Savior of a pure virgin bright
To free all those who trust in Him from Satan’s power and might”

Chorus

The Shepherds at those tidings Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a feeding, In tempest, storm and wind,
And went to Bethlehem straightway,This blessed babe to find.

Chorus

But when to Bethlehem they came, Whereas this infant lay,
They found him in a manger, Where oxen feed on hay,
His mother Mary kneeling Unto the Lord did pray.

Chorus

Now to the Lord sing praises, all you within this place
And with true love and brotherhood each other now embrace
This holy tide of Christmas all other doth deface

Oh, tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy

There is so much amazing theology in this Carol!
LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY!
FEAR NOT
COMFORT AND JOY!
The humility of the manger.
The messengers of God – Angels speaking to the unloved.

In the midst of life, there are so many things that come up that would cause one to dismay or fear!
In the midst of the storms, we need comfort and joy.
God came down to OUR level to give us these gifts.

I, for one, and very thankful that He did!

Now, here are a few upbeat versions! Enjoy!
Merry Christmas!

Advent Devotions

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Itty Bitty Bible Study – Ruth 1

My thoughts for the Itty Bitty Bible Study group on Facebook.

Ruth 1

First is the background for the Story of Ruth!

Ruth 1:1-2
1 In the days when the judges ruled,[a] there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. 2 The man’s name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to Moab and lived there.

Famine.
With two sons.
And no hope.
This was not supposed to be a permanent decision! “For a while”.
But the plans did not happen as they had planned!

3 Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with her two sons.

How many mothers plan for their husband to die before them, much less, leave them with TWO sons?

4 They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth. After they had lived there about ten years, 5 both Mahlon and Kilion also died, and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.

TEN years – this is such a drop in a bucket in a life. Yet, so much happened so fast in Naomi’s life! Famine, Husband dies, two sons die – and in the middle of this, her sons marry outside of the faith! Nothing is looking right for Naomi!

6 When Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them, she and her daughters-in-law prepared to return home from there. 7 With her two daughters-in-law she left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah.

About now, I’d be thinking – “Now what if I’d stayed in Bethlehem in the first place??? Would Elimelek still be here? What about my two sons? Would I have righteous daughters-in-law?”
I would be scared to take the road back to the land of Judah, but, I’d be scared not to! I’d be thinking I need to start all over, and maybe I can find some family that will help me out. There’s laws in Israel that take care of widows!

The thing is, she had TWO daughters-in-law!

“Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. 9 May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.”

These girls had been her daughters for about 10 years. They shared grief. They apparently did not provide children for her sons, but, they loved her. And she loved them enough to want to set them free, free to their own homes, with their own families, with their own faith. Free to have a new life.

Orpah said ok, but Ruth said NO WAY!

Ruth’s Song!

16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.
Where you go I will go, and
where you stay I will stay.
Your people will be my people and
your God my God.
17 Where you die I will die, and
there I will be buried.
May the Lord deal with me,
be it ever so severely,
if even death separates you and me.”
18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Why was Ruth so determined? Did she not have a home to go back to? Or had she seen the faith of Namoi, and decided to hook her wagon to Naomi’s God? This verse has been used in marriage ceremonies for generations, and yet, it is the statement of a young woman for her MOTHER-IN-LAW! One that may not have approved of her in the beginning. One that had nothing to offer her, and yet, Ruth devoted herself to the care of her mother-in-law. This is beautiful. This was my standard for my relationship with MY mother-in-law, though things didn’t work out as I’d hoped. This is a beautiful example of Love…selfless love(and I don’t mean that I was an example!). This should be our example, our goal, for our relationship with our mother-in-law. Or, just to be like Ruth!

19 So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?”
20 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. 21 I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

Depression takes on many forms. Grief can lead to depression, and grief upon grief upon grief is hard to overcome. In addition to her husband and sons, she had also lost a daughter, even though she’d given her the freedom to go. She returned to Bethlehem with nothing to show for leaving. The famine in her heart was far greater than the famine that was in the land when they left.

22 So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, arriving in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning.

Famine – is it WRONG to go somewhere else during a famine?
Abraham when to Egypt – to escape a famine.
Joseph called his family to come to Egypt during a famine.
Is it wrong to try to get away from trials? We are promised a way of escape. (1 Cor 10:13)

Why are there famines?
In several instances, famine is a judgement.
Even in Judgement – famine is utilized by God to MOVE people!

Psalm 33:18-22
18 Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, On those who hope for His lovingkindness, 19To deliver their soul from deathAnd to keep them alive in famine.
20 Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield. 21For our heart rejoices in Him, Because we trust in His holy name.

Psalm 37:18-19
The LORD knows the days of the blameless, And their inheritance will be forever. 19They will not be ashamed in the time of evil, And in the daysof famine they will have abundance.

In this case, whether Ebimielech was lacking in faith, scared, or actually heard from the Lord to go to Moab – this choice laid into motion a Moabitess as a the grandmother of King David, and an ancestor to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah 29:11 says

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And
Jeremiah 29:12 says:

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

It would seem that in my life, sometimes God allows famines to move me to my knees!
He has a plan for me.

But I need to get on board,
call upon HIM,
come to HIM,
pray to HIM –
humble myself….

1 Peter 5:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time

James 4:7-10
7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Naomi is humbled.
Naomi has cried out to God.
Naomi has returned to the place of her birth, and the place of the birth of her faith.
God will lift her up!

Here is what I hear about my responsibility if I am in a famine:

James 1:2-8
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

If I truly believe what this book talks about, I believe that God has a plan, and that HE will orchestrate whatever needs to be done in order to help me make the proper choices for HIS good will in MY life.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Christmas Carol Considerations – It came upon a Midnight Clear

It Came Upon a Midnight clear

The birth of Jesus was a miracle.
The timing of His birth was a miracle.
In fact, His lineage, His protection, His life and His death were all fulfillments of the prophecies.

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth
To touch their harps of gold!
Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From heaven’s all gracious King!
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Of course the Angels sang! They were seeing the plan unfold!

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing.
And ever o’er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

This verse refers to the joyous gift in the midst of a weary world in darkness.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world hath suffered long;
Beneath the angel-strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love song which they bring:
O hush the noise, ye men of strife,
And hear the angels sing.

When I hear this verse, I think “Peace, Be still”
and “Be still and Know that I am God!”

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophet bards foretold,
When, with the ever-circling years,
Shall come the Age of Gold;
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling,
And all the world give back the song
Which now the angels sing.

This is a reference to Christ’s return – as the reigning King.

Mark 13:32-35
32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
33 Be on guard! Be alert[e]! You do not know when that time will come.
34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.
35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn.
36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

Acts 1:11
“Men of Galilee,” they said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.”

My faith says this is a historical event.
There is plenty of historical evidence of the life of Christ.
It takes FAITH to believe in the fulfillment of prophecy, and in Jesus as your Lord and savior.
I believe!

My faith says that Christ is coming again – and I am to be ready.

Merry Christmas!

~~~~~

Advent Devotions
Thank you to Christmas Carol Lyrics for providing the lyrics for these Christmas Carols!

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Advent Day 26 – Angels

Advent Day 26 – Angels
If you are doing the Advent Log, Light candles 1-26

Angels

Hark the Angels Sing

Angels
messengers from God.
warriors from God.
protectors from God.
In this case, I believe they were just so full of Joy that their star quarterback was now in the game!
They were there when God created the earth.
They were left in heaven when satan and the other angels fell.
They were there when Adam and Eve brought death into the world through sin.
They knew that God the Father had a plan, but they didn’t know what it was.
All they knew was what they were told when they were sent as messengers.
And today was the day – The Son of God was going into the world to make everything right! Lucifer had not won. The great plan, that had been foretold in multiple prophecies was being unfolded right before their eyes. This was the beginning of Peace on Earth, good will towards men!

Crocheted Angels

Luke 2:10-12

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

This was the message they had been waiting to give!

And once it was given:

Luke 2:13-14

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Piano Guy Version – a must watch!

Hark the Herald Angels

And, then, just bust out singing!

hark and Joy

and some fun

https://youtu.be/bHgPlC7wph4

For now – I am thinking about the ones that were part of the declaration of Christ’s birth. And I wonder, do I declare Christ’s birth, death and Resurrection with my life, as a light Jesus told us to be? He came as the light in the darkness, and I am to be the light of the world – my life should shine the light of Jesus wherever I go. He came and died so that I might live, and declare the glory of God.

Gloria! In excelsis Deo!

nativity

More Advent Devotions

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2016 Word of the Year – Prepare? – yeah, right!

This contains many photos of our trip for surgery.

In January, the Lord gave me this word to meditate upon this year.
Prepare

In 2014, we weren’t prepared to deal with cancer.
We chose a procedure that had a 98% cure rate…as in, no recurrence. It is called HIFU.
At that time, it was not approved in the United States.
In 2015, February, we made out of pocket, traveled to Cancun, Mexico, to receive this state of the art procedure to treat Prostate cancer.
January 2016, the PSA let us know that we were not in the 98%.
So, we started to research options.
From January, to August, the PSA rose from 1.7 to 5.6. In the last few months, it doubled. It was time to do something, but, what?

By now, the procedure had been FDA approved, but not insurance covered. So, still out of pocket. In the meantime, I started doing intense research on the prostate, and what nutritional options would strengthen Jim’s body to fight off this enemy.
~~~~~~~~~

James 1:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

~~~~~~~~~
In September, We went to see the doctor and obtain biopsies in order to make sure that we have all the options for any future need for cancer treatments.
We were told that November 29th was the date that was open. We were waiting for confirmation, and working to handle our money in order to pay for this procedure.

In addition to choosing to repeat the HIFU, we wanted to get a second opinion for the cancer treatment – and we went through the process of setting up a visit to Cancer Treatment Centers of America, their prostate division based in Atlanta.

We were scheduled for August 17-21. We would be flown in, and see the medical team Thursday, Friday, then stay over the weekend, and get the final recommendations on Monday. We were working with the travel team, the medical information team and everyone at that center.

One week before our trip, we spoke with the Nurse Navigator. We discussed the HIFU done in February 2015, and let her know that we were planning on doing a repeat to eradicate the remission.
She took our information to the medical director who then said that we were not a good fit for their program.
Why?
Jim had not jumped up on a surgery table when his PSA was at 5 when he was 50.
Jim had undergone HIFU without biopsies, based upon Dr. Wheeler’s explanation of Prostate Cancer development, and because of the incidence of track back metastisis at the site of biopsies.
We based it upon a specialized MRI system that indicated the dubious nature of the mass – even though it was in a very difficult place to be found by biopsies.
We did not follow the CTCA procedure. Of course not, we weren’t their patient! So, they denied us the opportunity to ask questions about traditional treatments, to talk with naturopath and nutritionist about how to combat the side effects, and to strengthen Jim’s body to fight cancer.

This was like a punch in the stomach. We didn’t know what the Lord was up to, but at least we knew that we were not going to go to Atlanta.
Then, fires around Atlanta. The city was dealing with the smoke just as we were going to be there. That seemed like a good enough reason for God to change that plan. I don’t do well in smoke filled areas.

Every good gift comes from the Father of Lights…

We went ahead and sent part of the downpayment for Jim’s treatment at the end of November, and we were working on obtaining other funding. I even was a bit rough on Doc about the date…when??? November 29th, but many things need to be orchestrated – please be patient. That was the conversation on Wednesday, November 16.

Friday, November 18, before noon, we got the call that the place had been set up, and we were scheduled for Sunday, November 20. At 9am. WHAT?!?! So, we cleared out schedules, and left for St. Augustine on Friday evening. I had just unpacked my suitcase from my plans to be in Boston. Now, I just had to put those clothes back into the suitcase! I threw most of next weeks groceries I’d just purchased into the freezer!

If we had gone to Atlanta as planned, for the CTCA consult, we would not have been available for this opening! We would have been sitting around Atlanta watching the forest burn, instead of burning out the cancer.

We arrived into the hotel in St. Augustine Beach around 8. We ate at Wendy’s because it was so late.

Saturday, November 19, I woke up barely able to keep back tears. I did not have any peace about the procedure, but Jim was freaking out enough that I needed to stay calm.

We had breakfast at a local eatery, and Jim started on his clear liquid diet.

We did have to find some clear liquid options – which ended up being cartons of bone broth and green jello.

Mostly, Jim drank water. water. water.

First, we explored Palatka.

This is where the specialists have their out patient clinic, and more importantly,
the Ablatherm HIFU machine.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

We traveled around St Augustine, took photos, and just basically spent time enjoying each other.

Fort Matanzas,

Crescent Beach – just across the road.

We had not been in the hotel very long when we got the call that the anesthesiologist had been called back home, and that the procedure was canceled for Sunday. “Go ahead and eat some supper, breakfast tomorrow, then clear liquids again after 10, and nothing by mouth after midnight. You are scheduled for noon on Monday.”
I guess God wanted a different anesthesiologist for the procedure.

Exodus 31 – God set apart specific ones for specific giftings

We went to Applebees, because of the burgers.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.
30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified

It was so beautiful out, that we took a walk along this St Augustine Beach community.(Christmas lights at the beach)

street view

dock

We walked out on the dark, and looked at the stars!

Then we finished our Christmas Lights walk!

We returned to the frog place for breakfast. Jim really enjoyed their omelet.

Then, we spent Sunday driving around, enjoying the sights, and each other.

Monday morning, enemas, and take off for Palatka, Florida.
I was very nervous, very sensitive – and I felt like I was going to fall into a crying fit at any minute. But I needed to be strong for Jim.
As we were waiting, with Jim in the spiffy paper gown,

we overheard the conversation between the engineer and the doctor about the machine. A cable was not working correctly on the machine. The one that connected the ultrasound to the HIFU machine was dead. It had been working just fine on Saturday. It’s canceled for mechanical reasons.

What? Ok.
“Better before than during” – Jim said, after he took a moment.

“the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”Philippians 4:7.

Nerves?
Yes.
Disappointed?
Completely.
Confused?
You bet.

Jim’s comment:

It’s really futile to complain that something is not going right when you are listening to “The Sovereignty of God” by AW Pink

How’s this for preparation – I had brought my medicines for up to one extra day, through Tuesday. I will run out Tuesday evening, and Wednesday morning. Oops. I know I heard a voice in my head telling me to fill in the whole medicine container! I didn’t listen. “I’ll be home – there’s no way that we would be here past Tuesday!” Yeah, Right! Another lesson to LISTEN!

We took another drive.

So, today(I wrote this while waiting for him during the surgery), Tuesday, enemas again. Jim should be very cleaned out by now!

At 9am, we arrived at the clinic again.
The office nurse is not here.
The office doctor came in, then left, and did not unlock the medicine cabinet.
Whew. I’m not telling Jim what I’ve overheard this time.
Jim’s snapping – and who can blame him? He’s not angry, he’s just very guarded. He’s so tired. Very hungry. Tired of drinking bone broth and eating jello!
More nervous than he was any of the previous days. And again, who can blame him?
Jim went out for a walk, and I was not sure if he would come back in.

I found the gown for him this time.
I found the chux to put under him on the chair.
I’ve sat watching the doc, the technician, the anesthesiolgist looking through the cabinets and such in this office. I have heard the doctor say that he didn’t have the catheters that he is used to using.
And then, I was asked to go sit in the waiting room. Of course, that is probably better for me anyway, because I could hear almost everything that they were saying. Now, they could have closed additional doors, but, I was struggling between being able to know what was going on, and being somewhere peaceful!

Prepare for this? HOW?
Be wrapped in the word of God.
Jim played some scripture music as we were on our way here.
I’m focusing on the scriptures while I’m waiting.

Storms?
This feels like a hurricane that just keeps swirling around and coming back and hitting again.
And each time, I feel weaker – and yet, maybe this feeling of being resigned to the Lord’s hand, is exactly where I need to be.
Waiting in the palm of God’s hand.

I met the couple that are going after Jim. Mike and Sandy Norris.
A very sweet couple.
We discussed how we all got here.
We discussed how we believed that God’s hand was in these delays.
I’m so grateful for Christians to sit with.

Post Procedure

He had much difficulty with the intubation – almost called off the procedure.
If not for the new anesthesiologist – this would have been canceled.
Jim was difficult to wake up – if not for this very skilled anesthesiologist, we may have ended up at the hospital across the street.
Jim could not have the same type of catheter…the had to have one through his abdomen.
If not for the experienced Doctor, this could have been a serious complication.
Considering the stress of all the delays, Jim’s blood pressure remained safe.
His oxygen even remained 98 and above!

Jim has some wins as well.

Jim was not happy with the placement of the catheter, but, when one is under anesthesia, one cannot understand all the things the doctor explains.

The upside is that the doctor said that he was able to do everything that he wanted to do and that the tissue responded so well, just melting instantly, that he didn’t even go around to do some other areas that were ‘just in case’.
Now, it’s a different type of recovery than the first time. But recover, we shall!

I’m trying to finish this the following week.
To be honest, we are still struggling, which is why this blog is a week late.

The doctor that was supposed to follow up with Jim, and in fact, talked to him on Wednesday, giving him great calming advice, decided on Monday that Jim was not a candidate for his practice.
WHAT? We were just IN his clinic! He’d been talking to us, and gave Jim his cell phone number! And talked to him on said cell phone!

Disappointed?
Yeah!
Confused?
Completely.
Jim was completely frustrated, potentially angry, but I was not with him, because my leg had given out.

Same day – I found out that my pain doctor may not take me back because I’d rescheduled 2 appointments over the last year, and cancelled one. Not one no show…but, still, I was told that she could not schedule me until he looked over my chart and decided he still wanted me for a patient. WHAT? now it’s wrong to reschedule or cancel appointments?

Angry?
you bet.
And I fell apart.
I was trying very hard not to cry as I went in to see my doctor, and ask for pain meds!

I did get in to see my PCP, and she gave me a new medicine for the pain in my hip. One that will not have the side effects that the previous one had. Surprise? IT WORKS BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE WITH A PAIN PILL! No pain pills! No pain! And sleep, precious sleep.

How do you prepare for surprises?
You put your faith in the Lord, and you dwell on His word, and you join together, and remind each other that we are a team, Jim, me and God.

Isaiah 54:17
No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

I found this devotional on Isaiah 54:17 by James MacDonald
It reminds me of everything that I believe about God walking with us through storms.

And another devotional about preparing for warfare came with this graphic above. From ChristiansTT, it teaches about warfare in prayer.

The point is, just because we don’t know the answer – our faith tells us that we know the ONE that holds the ANSWER in His hand.
If we did not believe this – we would not be where we are today.
We would both be locked up in a hospital for not being able to think straight!

Our lives are not perfect, but we live in the One Who is.
they are riddled with sin, but woven with mercy.
they are encumbered with guilt, but awash with grace.
they are surrounded with storms, but enveloped with his words “Peace, be still”.
HE holds us together…without the Love of God through Jesus Christ – we would not be able to handle the storms.

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom,
and the Power
and the Glory,
Forever.
Amen.

We celebrated Thanksgiving by giving thanks that the Lord is in His house, and in our hearts.
We celebrate Advent, by remembering that many before us have waited to see God’s hand move on their behalf.
We will celebrate Christmas, by thanking the Creator of the Universe for choosing to give of Himself to win us back to Him.
My studies in Prepare this year have been very appropriate.
My studies in Psalm 23 have been very personal.
My heart is that you will be blessed by something in my life stories.

Thank you for sharing them with me.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

It’s Christmas Time 2016

It is Christmas time – and this is one of the two seasons of the year that I love.

Christmas – because God gave us Jesus as a gift to deliver us –

Here is a scripture writing plan for December from Sweet Blessings.

Here’s a very traditional version of Joy to the World!

And here’s my current favorite version!

And this is just gorgeous!

My other favorite Holiday is the point of Christmas – it is Easter.

But, for now, we will be celebrating Advent.

I have created a page in which I will post my Advent Devotions.

I will also repost them to my facebook and on The WildBerry Patch FB page daily.

I pray that this season will be filled with the Joy of the Lord in your lives!

And I pray for this world – as this song prayed for Emmanuel.

And may the faithful rise up and shine a light into this dark world.

More Advent Devotions

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

This is the Day that the Lord has made? Really?

Psalm 118:24
This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Sometimes, this is how I feel about this verse:
(apologies to Prince William and Lady Kate!)

This is the Day(at the Royal Wedding)

I feel like I sing it slow, without meaning, without passion.
Why?
Because sometimes I wake up in pain.
Sometimes, I wake up to issues.
Sometimes, I don’t want to wake up! I want to roll over and go back to sleep.

What does it mean “This is the Day the Lord has made?”

I believe that it goes back to:

Genesis 1:1
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

AND:

Genesis 1:5
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

Do I believe this?

Yes I do.
Does it make my heart jump up and down with joy for the new day?
Honestly, not always.
Why not?
Honestly, I don’t always think about it – I take it for granted!
Why do I take it for granted:
It is part of my faith being, part of who I am as a Christian, it is a core belief that cannot be shaken.
If I believe it, why don’t I choose it? And, why does it matter?
What do I say I believe?

This is what I believe – what I confess – in a nutshell.

The Apostles Creed
I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.
Amen.

As I said – this is woven into the fiber of my faith – without it, my faith foundation falls!

1 Corinthans 3:11
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Why does it matter?
Because Jesus said it does – believing is crucial!

John 20:29
Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

John 4:24
God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

Faith is crucial:

Heb 11:1-3
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
For by it the elders obtained a good report.
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

Why does it matter?

Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

But – Why does this matter?
Because it is WHO I AM!
I am a Christian.
I am a “little Christ”
I am Christ with a little i!

When everything is stripped away from me – what is left?
I belong to Jesus.
I have been delivered from darkness into light.
I have been chosen.
I have been adopted into the Family of God.
My desire is:
In Him I live, and move and have my being!(Acts 17:28)

In one of the most honored sermons of Jesus, he says this:

Matt 5:11-12
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

James says it this way:

James 1:2
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

And I wrote about the James 1:2-4 experience!

WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Because I have a destiny:

Jeremiah 1:5
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Because I belong to God, bought with a price:

1 Cor 6:19-20
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Why does it matter?
Because there is a reason I was created:

Eph 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Why does this matter?
Because I am all I have to give to God.

Romans 12:1
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Why does it matter?
Because I’ve been given gifts, and I should be a good steward!

Romans 11:29
For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance

1Peter 4:10
As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
(1 Cor 12:4, Romans 12:6, Eph 4:7

Why does it matter?
Because I am not to hide my light!

Matt 5:15-16
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Because My God says He has a plan for me.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And why does it matter?
Because I believe!

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whofn have been called according to his purpose.

The point is, no matter what is going on – the One I believe in – the One I believe created the world – for that matter – the one that created me says to rejoice!

Psalm 118:24
This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

And when I really, truly meditate on what that means – this is the song that I sing!

The Answer to my question – yes, really.
THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE!
I must CHOOSE to rejoice!

Why is it a choice? Why is it a command to REJOICE or COUNT IT ALL JOY?
Because Faith is not stagnant – we have to choose.

I choose joy!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Naomi’s Heart Mission

Sponsor a Child

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Does God Hear me?

Sometimes, I wonder if God’ hears me.
I believe that Job felt this way….
Job 3 is full of what I consider a desire to die…life is so rough.

Don’t get me wrong…Job had it rough!!!

And, in rereading Job 5 – I realize that many of these scriptures are ones that we use to encourage one another in the midst of trials!

So, as God would have it, the other morning, I happened to get a Facebook Messenger with my new friend, Becky Mingus, who is currently serving as Principal in the School at Naomi’s Heart Mission.

Here is that chat:

ME: Thank you. Still no answers for why I was bleeding! But the pain is going away.
Becky:That’s a blessing.

ME: Trying to stable my neck without surgery. .. because surgery would be near December finance wise. And I’d rather use t that for a trip to the Philippines!
Becky: Absolutely!! This will definitely be all God if it is to happen.

ME: I know. Maybe I should stop praying for him to glorify himself in my life! Lol!
Becky: Never!! The biggest prayer and God dreams are what honor Him the most. Glorifying himself in our lives, releasing the Spirit, that is where all the fun is. Otherwise think how dull our walks would be.

ME: I have been used to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out demons and of course preach the gospel. Sometimes I get discouraged that I can’t lay hands on myself and be healed. But I know that this is my spiritual fitness training. I know that Father has plans for me. .. and I just have to trust.
Becky: And trusting and waiting are always the hardest part. They are where I struggle the most. I know He can. But why doesn’t he? Ugh. James 1:2-5 has become one of my newest scriptures to read, reread, reread again. That and 2 Cor 12:9-10. Oh, so much still to learn.

ME: Oh those verses. .. perfect work? Sigh…. but to be complete. .. in Him. … what a beautiful promise! And, to recognize that there is nothing in me that is any good, except the spirit of God that lives here. .. and to rejoice in his strength manifested in spite of, or because of my weakness. .. this works true humility… humble myself under the mighty hand of God. .. and he shall lift me up. .. not to glorify ME, but to glorify his name!
We are created for good works. .. to glorify HIM! And that only comes worth letting patience have her perfect work!
Becky: But it is always a struggle for me. So wonderful but always stretching me and moving be deeper. We are being trained up – through the trials, through the struggles to be more ready for our futures – to do even more for Him, to be able to stand stronger, love deeper, walk more determinedly.

ME: Exactly. I thank God that there are those times of rejoicing in the presence of our enemies after walking through the valley of the shadow of death. The purpose for training is to prepare us for the next adventure with God. Sometimes I’d rather stay on the mountain top. .. not go back down in the valley of testing… but it is the testing that grows is into the fulness of Christ. Suffering through training is not fun. .. but I try to keep my eye on the prize. It had been my hearts cry from the day I have my life to Jesus to work with orphans, to work in missions, and then later, to work with women, and in jails! Young mothers. ..I believe these are desires given to me by Jesus. .. and it will be his glory to male or happen!
Did I just interrupt your prayer time?

Becky: No. Haven’t started that yet. But this has been wonderful discussion. I am going to email you a devotion. You would like it. It has big words in it but it is powerful. Yes, I had to use a dictionary. I have translated it into words I can understand and I read it all the time. LOL!
I’ll be praying. God is going to open amazing doors for you – maybe none you are expecting, but amazing all the same. One more verse for the evening: Isaiah 64:3-4. Oh. It is morning there. Enjoy your day!

ME: May God bless your rest! I thank God for my trials. .. because I am not who I used to be. .. and I thank God that he is not through with me!

Goodnight! Much love and hugs!

Prior to this discussion, I had been praying in the midst of my trials.
I could even be accused of praying some of the same types of prayers that Job did –

“Let me die…my life is but a vapor…I cannot do anything!”

“Why have you allowed this/these calamities to fall upon ME?”

“My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

That may be a little dramatic – but, honestly, I was tired of the continuous trials.
I even wrote about it…..How Many is Too Many?
And this was before several more trials were added!

The point?

James 1: 2- 4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Patience.
Perfection
Entire
Wanting Nothing

Yes – but – rejoice in TRIALS?

2 Cor 12:9-10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

This is Jesus Speaking to Paul…and Paul sharing it with us.
Paul is a pretty good role Model….once he got his head turned around. Actually, his passion as a Jew was a pretty good example as well!

His glory is shown when I am at the end of my ability.
I couldn’t heal my eye – but he could, and did!
I couldn’t conceive and carry a baby to term – but he did it, five times!
I couldn’t walk when I was paralyzed in the Navy hospital – but he could touch the swelling, and cause it to go down – and cause my leg to grow out so that I could walk.

I have not gone to school for art…but he has called me to paint.
I have not gone to school to write…but he has called me to share.

IN another chat with a dear sister, this verse was shared:

Is 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I shared with this someone that this was my life verse….
WAIT UPON THE LORD!
renew strength
mount up with wings as eagles
run, not be weary
walk, and not faint.

And God made that real to me in the Navy Boot camp…when I fell, and was paralyzed for a week.
My Petty Officer believed in me, and let me back in the unit – unheard of!
My God’s grace, I completed the physical training, twice a day, and I was able to run for my final test!
I was chosen from the group of 80 females to paint the cinder block outside our unit door – to memorialize what this unit stood for.
I painted a mountain scene, with an eagle – with this verse.
Until Orlando RTC was closed – God’s glory spoke through on a wall in a Navy Barracks.
BECAUSE of my trial with paralysis and herniated discs from a fall, the third day in boot camp.
BECAUSE of my trial, I was chosen to paint, and God was glorified.

My friend Becky ended our Bible Study with

Is 64:3-4
When thou didst terrible things which we looked not for, thou camest down, the mountains flowed down at thy presence.
For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

I’m not crazy about KJV on this verse…but the gist of it is that things happen, but they happen by God’s hand(look back at Job 1-2!)
And we don’t understand it…but, God prepares things for us, who wait upon him!

They aren’t always pretty – but then,
those biology exams weren’t pretty either, but I know that they were worth something!
Learning Spanish wasn’t pretty – but it has helped me to communicate and minister to some!
Learning to ice skate had to be ugly at times…and breaking my arm having fun definitely hurt – but I remember the fun I had on ice skates!

Ps 23:4 –
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

comes before

Ps 23:5 & 6 –
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

and everyone knows:

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

My question was – Does God hear me?
My cry was WHY?
And God created a time that a friend in the Phillipines was online the same time as I was, and we were able to have a Bible discussion – on the opposite sides of the earth!

YES – God hears!
And He answered me – through one of His children.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Naomi’s Heart Mission

Sponsor a Child

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Could this be the new me?

**author note – I am going to post this, before it’s completely pretty – because I want to post this now. I’ll pretty it up later, and add appropriate links and reference. ~mcw**

For the last two years, I have done various ‘diets’ to clean up my ‘act.
A sugar detox – prescribed by my naturopathic doctor in Texas
Whole30 – attempted over and over and over – until it’s a Whole24/7/365.
Various Cleanses
Fruit Flush

All this has done is prove to me over and over that I am sensitive to certain food groups:

I have noticed that these food groups cause undesirable reactions:

This is my new me –

I have done many diets over the years, and some were successful in losing weight, but I still had the eating disorders and the mental baggage.

This year, 2014, I have worked on myself within the group called Nerd Fitness. I started the year with a whole30 – and lost 20 pounds – then gained it all back, even though I was working through challenges within the forum groups.
Why did I gain it back?
My brain or my emotions or my whatever continued to WANT the things that make me sick.
My mind allowed excuses –

and so many more, that I have realized that my 54 years have not been focused upon fuel, but stuffing…stuffing emotional pain.
If all I did was have a piece of pie once a month for a celebration,
Or had some special food item at a travel destination,
I would naturally burn that off – as I exercise my life.

but I didn’t do that.

These are the some of the choices I have made over the last 20 years.

I have blamed all the surgeries I’ve had since 1989.
Yes, hormones, metabolism, injuries, immobilization boots, excruciating pain, heart rate issues and more, can be blamed for not exercising.
But over the years, I have learned to modify exercising – and I have had success…why haven’t I continued?
I have been lazy in many ways.

I have had legitimate reasons for not ‘exercising’ in the manner in which most fitness trainers suggest. There was a time, just walking could cause a tendon to rupture – which meant surgery – which meant 8-12 weeks rehab.

But, how did I deal with subsequent surgeries?
I felt sorry for myself.
I was like Job – I sat on my recliner (like his dung pile) and cried “woe is me!”
Because I was emotionally distraught – I ate.
And, I did not exercise what I could!
And I did not draw nearer and nearer to God.
I blamed God for allowing me to go through all this pain – amongst other emotional pains. And I will stand by the fact that HE is in control of everything – while also allowing me freedom of choice. How that works is not something that I comprehend on this earth, I just take it by faith.
But I didn’t allow these challenges to continue to draw me closer.

In Job’s story – when he was first challenged – he came through with flying colors!
As God allowed the enemy to take more and more from him – Job cracked.
He even despaired of life itself.
His wife told him “curse God and die!”

His friends – oh the “Job’s friends” that came to ‘encourage him’!
“confess your sins and this will stop!”
But Job wasn’t aware of any sins within himself – God himself had said Job was righteous. So Job tries to convince his friends that he hasn’t done anything – that God had just decided to allow these things – and he had no idea why. And yet, Job preached – and his words are recorded, and used to encourage us who would give up.

In the end – God showed Job the bit of sin still in his heart – and Job repented, received a new understanding of God, and a relationship with Him, and His friends got a new understanding of grace and mercy!

What does that have to do with me?
My weight is a direct outcome of my lack of leaning on Jesus.

When I am hurt – I should go to the Holy Spirit for comfort –
but I’ve gone to ice cream, chocolate, pies.
When I am angry – I should go to my savior, and receive HIS grace to release the anger, and respond as Christ would respond, but I’ve eaten sweets to stuff it down.
When I am alone – I should go to Jesus who will never leave me nor forsake me, but I eat sweet and salty things to feed my aloneness.
When I am bored – I should fill my mind with good things, and exercise my body for energy and health to care for this temple of the Holy Spirit, but I sit and watch tv, movies, play games.

For me – putting anything between me and God is committing idolatry.
For me – when I go to something other than God for help, I am committing idolatry.

I don’t mean that I can’t get help from other places – because that is why God created us to be a tribal/community driven creature. And, God has brought many people into my life that have helped me overcome.

I do mean – I need to pray – speak to God, through Jesus Christ, in the Holy Spirit – before any other ‘device’.
And self damaging reactions are NOT God’s way.

Here are just a few comparisons:

For me – when I do not care for this temple that God has entrusted to me, when I take this temple into temples that do not honor God, I am sinning.

I am confessing, before anyone that reads this, that I repent of this mindset of leaning on everything other than the Most High God.
I confess of using ‘things’ to stuff the challenges that God has given to me, for my growth.
I confess being lazy – not wanting to grow anymore! Yes – true!
I confess that I have used food as a slow form of suicide – knowing thigns would eventually kill me.
I confess that I have not been a faithful caretaker of this temple –
and I ask forgiveness, and I ask for mercy, and I ask for grace to turn things around.

I have been turning things around this year – by the grace of Jesus Christ – but I need to make a stand.

And, because of this repentance –
I am a new me – and this time, I pray that the old Christine stays gone – passed away, and all things are becoming new!

Exercise – Eat right – Excitement

Go tell ‘John’ what you see and hear:
The lame walk
The blind see
and the poor receive the gospel.

I was lame – and now I walk.
I was blinded to my responsibility – but now I see.
I was falling away from the gospel, and feeling poorly spiritually – but God, through Jesus Christ, has breathed the Holy Spirit into me anew – and the gospel is the story.

This is the new me. Welcome to my Journey.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest