Tag Archives: Mercy

The First 100 Days – Day 21-WLVS

At a Counseling Seminar, Dr. Marcus Warner of Deeper Walk International, taught the WLVS process of working through issues. Here is my first attempt, with references to Job. This is a very personal reflection.

WLVS 06Jan09

This is my first attempt during this journey to follow the Wound/Lie/Vow/Sin process of removing giants. First, I must identify a problem. I found one as I was reading Job today.

Problem:

Suicide, desire death, echoing Job’s cries:

Job 3:1-4 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day. And Job spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night [in which] it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

And for 26 verses.

Similar thoughts: Why died I not from the womb? (Vs 11)

My thoughts: The same, or each time I have had a near death experience, I wonder why I was resuscitated. Following every suicide attempt, at the next attack of giants, I’d think “why wasn’t I better at my attempt the last time?” “Long for death but it doth cometh not…”(vs 21)

Job talks about the blessings of the peace of heaven in vs 13-19. Even the wicked cease from troubling (vs 17).

The freedom of heaven….the rest of the next life…to be loosed from the oppression of this life…this has been my cry. The pains that have wracked me mentally, spiritually, and then physically has brought me to the place many times, that I would rather die than live another minute.

NLT follows that with this:

Job 3:20-24 “Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery? They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure. It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.

I have cried this…prayed this…..breathed this. Lord, this is too much for me to bear!!!!! (there’s a lie in there I’ll have to deal with!)

Then – here’s Job’s cause:

Job 3:25-26 For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet; yet trouble came.

NLT: Job 3:26 I have no peace, no quietness. I have no rest; instead, only trouble comes.”

So – what is my cause?

Fear…..fear of failure, and in the face of failure, total collapse.

THE WOUND:

What’s my wound? The horrible memories of monsters in the night, then the failure of my mother to protect me, and having to be the adult at 13, and care for my brother…and I had to do it right…because everything I did, had to be right. Nothing was ever good enough…and I was told to go do it again, and get it right. I thought if I was good enough, such things wouldn’t happen to me.

THE LIES:

I didn’t do it right, and monsters came in the night.

I didn’t do it right, and I chose to forsake a scholarship for art and music at OSU

I didn’t do it right, and I went into the Navy, got paralyzed, and was discharged with missing medical papers.

I left my mom and my brother to join the Navy. That wasn’t what I was supposed to do.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother got drunk in high school.

I didn’t do it right, and my mother committed suicide.

I didn’t do it right, and my husband was angry.

I didn’t do it right, and my house wasn’t as clean as Martha Stewart’s.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother fell away from his walk with Jesus for a while.

I didn’t do it right, and my children became free thinkers with minds of their own that did not follow the path of Christ as I had envisioned.

I didn’t do it right, and all three daughters have life long diseases, as well as memories and scars that they will carry forever.

I didn’t do it right, and I turned to food and food and, well, food for my comfort, my emotional support and I am 120 pounds overweight.

I didn’t do it right, and I have health issues.

And, I can go on and on and on…..I can even explain the sin in the world as a failure of mine (oh yes, I can!).

THE VOW

The vow is that I should die, to relieve the world of my burdensome, failing self. Or, I will stop failing, and succeed at ONE thing – to die.

THE SIN

Suicidal thoughts and attempts. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he…so even to think of suicide is a sin – if you entertain the thought. Those thoughts that come and were kicked out were just temptations.

Attempts, including – eating stuff that is not good for me, because I’ll eventually die from it, and maybe God won’t notice I killed myself.

Red Lobster’s all you can eat shrimp feast looks like a great way to die! It only takes 6 to start my mouth and tongue to swelling…….

Over dosing on chocolate – 2 pound bags….yes, that says bagS.

A friend’s mom or Dad went to the hospital for heart issues, because of eating too many Fritos…

I could go like that…just get me a bucket of dip or salsa! Maybe a 2 liter of pop to wash it down!

Basically, not taking care of myself has been a passive way of killing myself. And you know what? It hasn’t worked. My heart is strong, just under exercised. “Deconditioned.” My bones have lost density…but I still can turn that around. My liver, though fatty, recovers very well. Gall bladder is fine, lungs have recovered from pneumonia twice. I do have Fibromyalgia (a dormant, then trauma induced, progressive chronic illness). BUT God has gotten me to a doc that prescribed some good meds that are making even that manageable. I barely have an official Dx of Diabetes 2 – my insulin stuff is just messed up.

The messed up parts? My mind.

Other methods have included an overdose, and intense cutting on my arms. Mostly, I have been hospitalized for suicide ideations….my mind has gone wacky and tried to kill me. The spirit within, that has been trained to turn to God, found ways to stop me. I have learned to call out for help when needed. It would have been great if my body had reacted to the pain in the right manner, but like I said, my mind went a bit wacky.

What’s the Solution?

FORGIVE THOSE THAT CAUSED THE WOUND

REPLACE THE LIES WITH TRUTH

RENOUNCE THE VOWS

REPENT OF THE SINS.

FORGIVE THOSE THAT CAUSED THE WOUND – Done(or so I thought)

REPLACE THE LIES:

I didn’t do it right, and monsters came in the night.

No child is responsible for what happens to them in the night, or day by adults.

I didn’t do it right, and I chose to forsake a scholarship for art and music at OSU.

For the gifts and calling of God [are] without repentance. Romans 11:29

I didn’t do it right, and I went into the Navy, got paralyzed, and was discharged with missing papers.

There is forgiveness for our sins...1 John 1:9-10

I left my mom and my brother. That wasn’t what I was supposed to do.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

I didn’t do it right, and my brother got drunk in high school.

It was not my responsibility to raise my brother, he had a mother and a father.

I didn’t do it right, and my mother committed suicide.

My mother was an adult, and she made her own decision…I was where I was supposed to be, with my husband.

I didn’t do it right, and my husband was angry.

I cannot make someone happy or sad, angry or calm. That comes from the fruit of the Spirit.

I didn’t do it right, and my house wasn’t as clean as Martha Stewart’s.

I’m still working on this….but I try to remind myself, she has servants. Besides, I am not going to be judged by the cleanliness of my house….but on whether I have trusted the Lord Jesus as my Savior.

I didn’t do it right, and my brother fell away from his walk with Jesus for a while.

But, my prayers, our grandmother’s prayers, and prayers of others brought him back…it wasn’t my responsibility, it was his story with God.

I didn’t do it right, and my children became free thinkers with minds of their own that did not follow the path of Christ as I had planned.

For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2 Tim 1:12 among many promises to save our children.

I didn’t do it right, and all three daughters have life long diseases, as well as memories that they will carry forever.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Rom 8:28

I didn’t do it right, and I turned to food and food and, well, food for my comfort, my emotional support and I am 120 pounds overweight.

I didn’t do it right, and I have health issues.

For the wages of sin [is] death; but the gift of God [is] eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Rom 6:23

But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. Rom 6:22

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 2

Here’s what God can do!

Eze 37:1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which [was] full of bones,

Eze 37:2 And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, [there were] very many in the open valley; and, lo, [they were] very dry.

Eze 37:3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord GOD, thou knowest.

Eze 37:4 Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.

Eze 37:5 Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:

Eze 37:6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I [am] the LORD.

And I still have sinews and flesh and skin…..but this is my ‘put on’(what I need to ‘put on’ to move forward).

Eph 4:21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus:

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

RENOUNCE THE VOW & REPENT OF THE SIN

In the name of Jesus, I put off the old man’s ways of death, suicide and self destruction.

I renounce my vow of self destruction and declare it of none effect in Jesus’ name. I confess these thoughts and actions as sin, and place them under the blood of Jesus. Please forgive me, cleanse me and make me whole.

In the name of Jesus, I put on Life, and I pray that YOU, Lord will breath upon me, and I shall live, just as the dry bones, just as Elijah and the widow’s son, Just as you did at creation when you breathed life into Adam.

The only person left to forgive in all those wounds and lies is……….ME.

How does one forgive themselves?

Have I repented? Yes, then:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

He Who? The God Who will sit on the white throne of judgment, to judge both the living and the dead.

Eph 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Rev 1:5 And from Jesus Christ, [who is] the faithful witness, [and] the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,

Moses sinned – and God forgave him, before the law of the sacrifice was known.

David sinned – and God forgave him, before the blood of Christ was shed.

The woman at the well sinned – and Jesus forgave her, when she didn’t even have the promise.

The woman caught in adultery sinned – and Jesus forgave her, and said go and sin no more.

Peter sinned – and Jesus forgave him, before He went to the cross.

The thief sinned – and Jesus forgave him, as they hung dying.

Jhn 3:14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

Jhn 3:15 That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Jhn 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Jhn 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Jhn 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Rom 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Rom 8:10 And if Christ [be] in you, the body [is] dead because of sin; but the Spirit [is] life because of righteousness.

Rom 8:11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

Rom 8:34 Who [is] he that condemneth? [It is] Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [shall] tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Rom 8:36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Rom 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Who am I to think that I can hold a grudge against my self – when the Most High God has declared it null and void?

Psalm 103, especially:

Psa 103:8 The LORD [is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

Psa 103:9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep [his anger] for ever.

Psa 103:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

Psa 103:11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, [so] great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

Psa 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

And this was written BEFORE Christ’s blood was shed…so how much more NOW will He deal with me in mercy?

So, I repent of my false humility that held a grudge against myself, which in truth, called God a liar and dismissed the efficacy of Christ’s blood to cover MY sin. What arrogance…and I repent, and ask the Lord for forgiveness….and I accept it, for me, and I release myself from that burden.

Psa 103:1 [[[A Psalm] of David.]] Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, [bless] his holy name.

Psa 103:2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

Psa 103:3 Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

Psa 103:4 Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

Psa 103:5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good [things; so that] thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Isai 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Psal 46:10 Be still, and know that I [am] God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psal 46:11 The LORD of hosts [is] with us; the God of Jacob [is] our refuge. Selah.

Lord, I will wait upon you….and believe that you will heal all my diseases, redeem my life from destruction, my youth will be renewed and I will mount up with wings as eagles…I will run and walk and not faint. Lord, upon you, I wait. ~Christi

This was a journal entry that was at a turning point in my life. My suicidal issues did not get resolved until I arrived non-responsive in the ER, November 17th, 2009. That day, something in me died…but it was something that needed to die so that I could move forward. My husband, my pastor Earl and my best friend Sue were instrumental in helping me move forward, and to this day, I have no suicidal thoughts. For the first time, as long as I can remember, I have spent a year with NO suicidal thoughts. The meds aren’t different. The people aren’t different. My head is different, because my heart is set on Jesus.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

100 days challenge – moving – check walked 30 minutes.
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – I’m going to reset my program.
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check – Done.

The First 100 Days – day 17 – Cut it off!

Our grandson, Brayden, just had a tonsillectomy today. He’s had years of earaches and sore throats and it was keeping him from doing what he needs to do. He has a job to do. He’s a 3 year old. He needs to be playing to learn! If he can’t play, it’s harder for him to learn! So, the doctor said:

CUT THEM OUT!

Years ago, a friend’s son got sick. He didn’t get better. They took him into the doctor, and he rushed him to the hospital…his appendix had ruptured, and the doctor said:

CUT IT OUT!

Twenty-one years ago, I was minding my own business, sitting down on the edge of my bed when something went pop in my knee. When I got to the doctor, he said my meniscus was torn, and the only way to relieve the pain was to:

CUT IT OUT!

Twenty-two years ago, I was in so much pain with cramping that the doctors had me on narcotics 24/7. After a month or so, I asked the doctor what we could do to cure the endometriosis, and he said:

CUT IT OUT!!

Jim’s grandmother couldn’t see – cataracts. When she saw the doctor, he said:

CUT THEM OUT!

One of our daughters found lumps in her breasts. Praise God they were not cancerous, but to make sure the doctor said:

CUT THEM OUT!

Everyone of us, after having the surgeries, were more capable to function. If we had not cut off the troublesome, infected, blinding item, life would not be the same moving forward…if there was life at all.

Matt 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Matt 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast [it] from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not [that] thy whole body should be cast into hell.

I like my right eye – especially since I am an artist. I like my right hand – especially since I am right handed! So, they don’t offend me at all!

NKJV takes my excuse away:

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”Matt 5:30 NKJV

Jesus talked about the eye causing you to sin, following his dissertation about seeing a woman and lusting after her. Body parts can’t cause us to sin…but IF you have a problem lusting after what you see – cut out your eyes so that you will not have that temptation. If you have a problem with taking things that are not yours – cut off your hand so that you will not have that temptation. That used to be the Muslim way of handling thieves! In some areas, they still do!

CUT IT OUT! CUT IT OFF!

Matt 18:8 “If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire.”

Matt 18:9 “And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.”

This past summer, I had three surgeries on my right foot/ankle. I ended up actually walking, with out a boot, about 4 to 6 weeks from May 5 through October 30. I spent most of the summer in a wheelchair. I was not able to drive or take myself to my doctor appointments. I was at the mercy of anyone that was willing to help me out. I like my right foot. I like my left foot. Two days ago was the first day I’d been able to walk on the beach without a boot of some sort.

I just walked a mile, Barefoot on the Beach!

I've completed 2 miles in the sand

A wonderful cold walk in the water!

Today, I walked on the beach barefoot.
Today, I skipped on the beach, barefoot.
Today, I waded in the water, barefoot!

Today I could stand because when my doctor looked at my ankle on the MRI, he said “we need to cut out the bad stuff, and graft in good stuff.”

Cut out bad stuff so that it can be replaced with good stuff.

I had horse heart grafts in my ankle for two different shredded tendons.

I had shots in my knees to replace the torn, shredded miniscus.

Jim’s grandmother had lens implants that helped her see.

Our daughter has peace that she’s not going to have to fight breast cancer.

My friend’s son had antibiotics to help fight the infection. He did not die.

Brayden will be able to function. He will be healthy.

As a Christian, we are told that if something is causing us to fail, we should cut it off.

Heb 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

Eph 4:25-27 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.

Col 3:8-9 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

God intends for us to be separated from our sin…

Heb 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

We don’t have to cut off our feet, hands or eyes. God’s point is that sin is so detrimental to our relationship with Him, that it would be better to have the sinning part cut out. Of course, we know that it is the heart that is deceitfully wicked….and that our heart motivates our hands, eyes, and mouth.(Jer 17:9)

Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

When the surgery healed for my knee, I had to go through rehab…I had to believe that I had a ‘new’ knee.

After Nana’s surgery – she had new sight.

After the horse grafts in my ankle, I have a new ankle.

After Brayden’s surgery, I pray he will have new health.

After choosing Christ, and turning away from sin, we are new creatures.

2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

And God does His part, as the great surgeon:

2 Cor 5:18 And all things [are] of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

And then we have the duty to do the rehab:

Rom 13:12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.

Eph 4:23 – 24 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Col 3:10 And have put on the new [man], which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Infections can kill, breakdowns can lame, lumps can cause fear, malfunctions can immobilize, but God has provided medical knowledge to remove these, fight these.

Sin maims, lames, immobilizes us as Christians. There is a passage that even indicates it could keep us out of the Kingdom.

Rehabilitation doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey. I had to learn to walk with my new ankle step by step.

As Christians, we have to learn to walk as Jesus walked, step by step.

Gal 5:24-25 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Gabe and I were here!

Even in our walking – we are NOT ALONE!

Ps 37 : 23-24 The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.

Is 41:10 Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Is 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Some will say that life is a beach…and I say ‘bring it on’….I pray that I will walk each day of the rest of my life walking with Jesus!

Thank you for joining me in my journey!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

100 days challenge – moving – check- 60 minutes, 2 mile walk on the beach
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check-I’m in Deuteronomy-will catch up with CDs on the way home.
50 days T-Tapp – check – I did SATI walking – WITH ARMS!
21 days Fasting for Food – check? I have to compromise a little, but I’m staying as total as I can.

The First 100 days – day 14 – CHALLENGES

I have so many things to do today. I have to do things that I have not stacked together in a long time. Sometimes life is like a storm, with all sorts of responsibilities.

Martin Luther said, as quoted in Good Reads, “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

I admit, I am not spending the first three hours in prayer…though, I am convicted to go spend more time in prayer.

In October, 1997 I wrote about being still. And that message rings true today. Enjoy.

I’m a simple Jew, raised in the simple Jewish ways…….but I get sort of fired up at times. Let me tell you a bout a few of those times.

One day, my friends and I were sailing across the sea of Galilee. We were on our way to the other side. Our Lord had just gone up into the mountain to pray, and we were going on without Him. Suddenly a storm came up, and the boat was tossed to and fro. I know what these storms can end up as and there we were, tossed back and forth, waves crashing around up, up and down with the water, rain everywhere, thunder crashing and lightening flashing…….and then we saw a ghost coming on the water right at us, I thought I was going to die and the angels were coming, then I heard “Do not be afraid, It is I”. In the stillness of that voice, I knew it was Jesus, my Lord. His still voice gave my heart peace, and I knew this was my God, and I said, call to me and I will come out on the water to meet you! And His still, quiet voice said, “come” and I came! I was walking on the water, looking at His calm and quiet face, full of peace! I was walking on the water…….in the midst of a storm…..THE STORM! It was all around me, lightening flashing, thunder rolling, water splashing and down I went!

If I had kept my heart quiet, and remembered my Lord, I wouldn’t have sunk.

Another day, we were all in the boat. Jesus was sleeping. Poor guy, He rarely got anytime to just rest, so here He was taking a nap as we sailed across the sea. Then the winds came up, the waves started beating the boat, water was coming in every side, rain was pouring and pouring, lightening was crashing all around, thunder pounding in our ears……How could He sleep! “Master, don’t you know we are going to die?” I screamed! He said quietly “Oh ye of little faith, Peace be still” and the storm stopped. All was quiet. All was peaceful.

If I’d been still and quiet, remembering my Lord, I wouldn’t have feared for my life.

Yet another day, I was with a group of people, they were all talking, yelling, and clacking like chickens around a fire…….Who is he, what is He, where did he come from, crucify him, kill him, and then to me “ aren’t you one of them?”

“No.”

“ Sure, you were with them”

“ NO”

“You’re a Galilean, of course you were one of the ones”

“ NO I DON”T KNOW HIM!”

Then it became deathly quiet, as I heard the cock crow three times, and I looked up and saw my Lord.

If I’d been still and quiet, I would not have denied my Lord.

Scriptures say, Be Still and Know that I am Lord, and through Jesus Christ, we are given the Peace of God which passes all understanding, and keeps our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

When was the last time you and I were still before the Lord in order to be filled with His peace in the midst of the storms?

MCW 10/97(c)1997 M. Christine Wildman, all rights reserved.

Taken from Matt 14:22-33; Mark 4:35-41; Luke 8:22-25; Matt 26:69-75; Mark14:54-72; Luke22:54-62 and:

Ps 46:10 Be still, and know that I [am] God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Phil 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Col 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

Thank you for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check-I’m in Deuteronomy
50 days T-Tapp – check – 2AL down, taking DVD’s
21 days Fasting for Food – check? how to pack for a campout?

Almighty Music Video

I went to a conference and met a young man that is using his talents to further the Kingdom of God, and ministering to young people about courtship, and standing up for the unborn.

His family has produced this amazing music video. Please watch.

Abortion stops a beating heart.

I am ProChoice. Before the baby, it’s a choice. After the baby, it’s a responsibility.

For more information go to Almighty Music Video.

If you are pregnant, and need help – they have links there.

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Glen Elliott’s words for honoring the fallen

Overcome Evil with Good

January 11, 2011

posted by Glen Elliott

Thank you all for your wonderful response to our time of prayer last weekend remembering the victims of the tragedy that happened on Saturday. I led us to pray that God would bring good out of this tragedy. Please continue to join me in that prayer. Already I’m getting emails from people in our church that God is using to touch the lives of others, including family members of the victims. I’m am so blessed by a church that truly cares for people and its community.

I’ve also been getting a lot of questions about a group called the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS that is planning to come here to protest at the funerals of some of the victims from Saturday’s shooting. The simple explanation is that this group attends the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and other high profile deaths to make a statement that these deaths are God’s judgment on our sinful nation. They are known for hate declarations. You can go online and see some of the signs they show at these funerals – “God hates America,” “Pray for more dead soldiers,” etc. I don’t even want to repeat here all the people and groups that they say God hates. It is these kinds of practices and people that do a great deal of damage to the true message of Jesus and his church.

Most of us don’t understand how this group, that calls itself a church, can say and believe what they do. It is a classic mistake of taking one part of God’s nature (He is the final Judge) and exaggerating it out of proportion while at the same time ignoring the powerful aspects of God who is love and offers grace and mercy. That is an oversimplified explanation to be sure.

Because of our beloved protected right of free speech, these folks have the lawful right to say whatever they want. They have the right to misrepresent the character of the true God. Several from our church and churches in Tucson are planning to join others in attempting to create human shield. These shields are intended to keep the family and friends of the victims from seeing these signs and hearing their ugly chants. I’ve been encouraging churches in Tucson to join our greater Tucson community that together we stand for dignity and compassion. Here’s one group you can check out: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=146050748782975)

If you participate in this, let me remind you to model Jesus in every way. Do not engage these people or anyone in an angry confrontation. I’ll guarantee that if you engage them, you’ll be tempted to respond in a hateful way. If you go, be a person of grace and peace. Pray diligently before you go and while you are there. Be sure to encourage and be a voice that helps others to model what we all stand for – compassion, kindness and grace and not about what we are against – hate, bigotry and unconscionable insensitivity. May our stand truly be a peaceful loving stand that represents Jesus well.

The best advice comes directly from God’s word in Romans chapter 12. Verse 9 – Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Verses 14 and 15 – Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Verse 15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Verse 21 – Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Our mission as a church – Loving people to Jesus, launching passionate people to make our world different.

Together to make a difference in Jesus’ name,

Glen

~~~~~~~~~~~Christi Here~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am in total agreement with Pastor Glen. I lift up the families of these slain, and pray that the Lord will enlighten the members of that church about the Love and Compassion and TIMING and TACT of the Great God of the Universe, Jesus Christ.

Please join me this week praying a wall of protection around these families, and any family that is the object of their protests.

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

The First 100 Days – Day 12 – Too Difficult?

This morning, I awoke to a song from many years ago. It’s from Jeremiah 32:17 Ah Lord GOD! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, [and] there is nothing too hard for thee:

Nothing is too difficult for thee…..

When Sarai laughed about having a baby…the angels said “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?” (Gen 18:14)

When Moses said he couldn’t talk, God said “Who hath made man’s mouth?” (Ex 4:11)

When the Israelites were up against a huge river, and a huge army and God told Moses “what are you talking to me about…stick out your hand, and walk through the river”(Ex 14)

When Joshua was concerned about taking Moses’ place, God said “Be strong and of a good courage:” (Josh 1:6) AND “Only be thou strong and very courageous,”(Josh 1:7)

When Ruth was faced with a life of an outsider, God did the impossible for her!

Daniel, Nehemiah and Ezra had to face the challenges of returning to, and rebuilding Jerusalem, and the house of God. They were sent to do the work BY THEIR CAPTORS? That’s pretty amazing. One could call it impossible! And for their captors to pay for it? Definitely an improbability.

Esther – being called to go into one of the most cruel leaders of the known world at that time. It was impossible.

The Story of the Maccabees and the pure oil for the temple is another testimony to what is and what is not possible for God.

The Jewish festival of Hanukkah celebrates the re-dedication of the Temple following Judah Maccabee’s victory over the Seleucids. According to Rabbinic tradition, the victorious Maccabees could only find a small jug of oil that had remained uncontaminated by virtue of a seal, and although it only contained enough oil to sustain the Menorah for one day, it miraculously lasted for eight days, by which time further oil could be procured

What is more impossible than a young girl getting pregnant…without a man? And the Angel said “don’t be afraid” (Luke 1:10)

Jesus asked :”Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’?”(Luke 5:23)

The fullness of this passage is that the pharisees were wondering if Jesus was going to forgive sins. Only God can forgive sins. Apparently, this man’s illness was partly caused by sin in his life.

Which is easier to do? To give someone what they need to cure them, or to forgive someone for some heinous thing they had done to you?

I would go to the aid of even someone I really had an issue with. I would do all I could to save them. But, if I had an issue with them, obviously, it was more difficult for me to forgive them. I know that’s true!

Jesus is saying that it is easier to heal, than to forgive.

On the cross, He did both.

Is 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

1 Pet 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

God, through Christ has taken what is unholy and made it holy – US! God, through Christ became the created.

The Creator created creation for the Created with a plan.
The Created crossed up the Creators’s plan, and lost the Creator connection.
The Creator became the created with a plan for a cross so that the Created could reconnect with the Creator.
Now the creation has to bear their cross, to fulfill the Creator’s plan.
Creative!
2 Cor 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God created with “Let there be….”
Jesus healed with “be healed…”
Jesus delivered saying “go….”
Jesus raised the dead saying “Come Forth!”

Jesus said – ” Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater [works] than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son: If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do [it].” (John 14:12-14)

What is impossible to God? Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing, Nothing is impossible to God!

So, what is impossible to us? What is too difficult?

Phil 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Heb 13:5 says I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Heb 13:8 says Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Peter said “Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:”(Acts 10:34)

So, what in my life, or your life, is too difficult for God to handle?

Rom 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

So, I have this Bible full of examples of how God did the impossible for His people. God did the unthinkable for His rebellious, unloving, filthy creation. And God says He loves me, and wants to do the impossible for me.

Is a 5k too difficult for God? Is writing a post a day too difficult for God?

No – but am I doing it in my strength, or in His?

James 1:5-6 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

Why are there doubts? Do I doubt HE is able, or do I doubt that I am able? If I believe that the Bible is the inerrant word of God, totally true – then I have to believe that God did these glorious things through His imperfect people(remember David?). So the question becomes, do I believe He can do it through me. I’m supposed to be living my life in Him Acts 17:28. I’ve sung the song…I’ve confessed that Jesus is Lord of my life…and still, I doubt.

The truth is, my doubt says that I don’t think God is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, or loving enough to do His works through me. My doubt, in God’s ability to use me, is my doubt in God, not in me. I confess this here and now. And I ask God to help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

How did those heroes and heroines of the faith do it? By faith!

Heb 11:1 -3 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.

And faith is a gift from God!

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:

God has already done the impossible in my life – He has saved me from the pit. AND He has given me faith to believe. So, now, I just have to believe that Nothing is too difficult for Him, and that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me! And I praise God that He is willing to put up with one that struggles so much. God has done the hardest thing, and continues. He forgave and forgives me.

Then, he asks me to do the same.

Matt 6:14 – 15For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

What’s more difficult than forgiveness? I forgive, because HE first forgave me. I love, because HE first loved me. And if, through Him I can do the hardest of all things, in Christ, is there anything too difficult for me?

How about you?

Thank you for joining me on this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I will sing beneath the shadow of your wings.

The First 100 Days – day 8 – Is it Worth it?

Day 7’s blog was about how day 6 was messed up.

I’ve made commitments for parts of the 100 days:

moving for a minimum of 30 minutes
write a blog a day
Read the Bible in 90 days
T-Tapp Moves for 50 days
Fasting PG and higher Movies & TV for 30 days
Fasting for Food – 21 days – especially Fast Food

I’ve done this for 7, going on 8 days – and I am amazed at what hold these things have on me!

Oh, let’s just run in and get a soda
Let’s stop and pick up a cone
Let’s get a peppermint chocolate shake before their gone!
Let’s go sit at a restaurant and talk(not fast food, but eating out)
Let’s go watch a movie(instead of sitting and talking AT HOME)
I’m too tired to do (a 2 minute) T- Tapp(the pull of the recliner/couch)
I’ll read “People”, newspaper, email, bills, and run out of time to read my Bible.

Is it worth it?

Fast food – we figure we’ve spent an average of $400 a month. That’s down from the almost $1000 we spent at our very worst(while food rotted in the refrigerator). But that’s a good start on groceries for many families! What could we do with $400 a month?

Moving – Yes, I have FMS/CFS. Yes, I have Periformis Syndrome. Yes, I have IT band issues. Yes, I have had 3 ankle surgeries with another indicated. Yes, I have a whole person to lose before my poor legs and back are relieved of abnormal pressure. But, I do move to go to the bathroom – why not move 2 minutes in a HoeDown, or 8 minutes in a MOREChair workout, or 15 Minutes in a MORE workout?(see T-Tapp) What changes could happen by just moving?

Bible Reading – what am I going to lose by giving up current events? What can I gain by washing my mind with scriptures?

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is

love,
joy,
peace,
longsuffering,
gentleness,
goodness,
faith,
Meekness,
temperance:

against such there is no law.

Temperance:/ˈtɛmpərəns, ˈtɛmprəns/ –noun

1. moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.; self-control.

2. habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion, esp. in the use of alcoholic liquors.

3. total abstinence from alcoholic liquors.

Ok – one fruit is described as:

moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.; self-control.

Self Control. That is what other versions translate this word as. And the rest of the definition of temperance is:

habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion, esp. in the use of alcoholic liquors.

I don’t use alcoholic liquors much – so, that part, I have down.

The HABITUAL moderation in the INDULGENCE of a NATURAL appetite or passion.

1 Cor 9:24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

Whether I like it or not, I am in a RACE.

Heb 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

And, God asks a very specific question:

Jer 12:5 If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and [if] in the land of peace, [wherein] thou trustedst, [they wearied thee], then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan?

RUN WITH FOOTMEN? I’M NOT EVEN WALKING WITH FOOTMEN! I need a plan – I need a training plan!

1 Cor 9:25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they [do it] to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

Temperate in all things. Self-Control. FOR AN INCORRUPTIBLE CROWN!

Paul also wrote this about striving for the mastery:

Phil 3:13-14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

1 Cor 9:26 I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:

1 Cor 9:27 But I keep under my body, and bring [it] into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

Here are some words from Paul’s last days:

2 Tim 4:7-8 I have fought a good fight, I have finished [my] course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

It isn’t about fasting fast food – it’s about bringing my body under the control of my spirit. It’s about bringing my spirit under the Lordship of the Holy Spirit. It’s about hiding God’s word in my heart that I might not sin against Him! It’s about pressing on, for an Incorruptible Crown.

There are many, many blessings to obeying God’s laws. I’m finishing up Exodus, and into Leviticus, and from this point, at 50 years old, with the science we have now..wow, those were very good laws! Follow those laws now, and you will be far away from all the sickness and disease that flows in our country! You will be healthy, wealthy and wise, just by bringing yourself under the Lordship, and wisdom of Jesus Christ, shown throughout the Word of God.

This brings me to a verse, that was my saving verse in boot camp. First, a story. God gave me a scholarship to Ohio State University for art and music. BUT, I had such a low self esteem, I felt HE was wrong, and I joined the Navy instead. On the third day of boot camp, I fell during a run. I hit my tailbone, and snapped back damaging some other discs, and hitting my head. I spent a week, paralyzed from the waist down, in the boot camp hospital. The diagnosis was 5 slipped discs, and two fused discs now, in my neck.

When the swelling went down, and I could walk again, I begged my boot camp Petty Officer to let me back into the unit, rather than be set back the week I’d been in sick bay. This was UNHEARD OF, but she said yes. I had to complete PT every morning and every evening – am run, pm pt, am pt, pm run and so on and so forth.

In the midst of this, I repented. I knew, I KNEW that this was a direct result of my disobedience. And the Lord reminded me of a song I’d sung in a Christian youth ministry:

They that wait upon the Lord

Shall renew their strength,

they shall mount up with wings as eagles,

They shall walk and not be weary,

They shall run and not faint.

Teach me Lord, Teach me Lord to wait.

When we got to the last weeks of training, I had passed my PT, and I had encouraged others with this verse. Therefore, I was chosen to paint the symbolic unit cinder block on the wall outside the barracks door. On that block I put Isaiah 40:31:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

Even though I’d messed up going into the Navy, by leaning on the Lord, it was worth it – and to be able to paint His word on a US government building was the crowning glory!

When I look at my wimpy list, I have to think of Sarai – promised a son in her VERY old age. She laughed.

Gen 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD?

Who am I leaning on to bring my flesh and spirit under subjection? In whom am I putting my faith? Apparently, in my flesh, and that’s no good. Jer 32 really puts into perspective where my faith should focus.

I need to wait upon the Lord – He’ll renew my strength!

I need to hide the word in my heart – it will keep me from sin!

I need to run the race set before me – because there is an eternal crown waiting for me…just because I finished! Here is how one earns the crown, how one runs the race:

James 1:12 Blessed [is] the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

It will be worth it all, enduring temptation to be ready to run with the horsemen – and here is a song to enjoy – as a prayer for today!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – catching up!
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check.

The First 100 days – day 7- Messed UP!

As part of our choice to remove the darkness and run toward the light, we made some commitments for the first part of the year.

One was to put no evil thing before our eyes, as David vowed:

Ps 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes:

Solomon had something to say about it:

Prov 4:25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.

Well, we decided to watch a movie…and I am not saying that everyone should stop watching movies…though, if we are honest, how many of them fit the above criteria? My purpose for this example is OUR commitment to not put any wicked thing before our eyes – a 30 day fast to see what has a hold on us, and what helps us to grow closer to the Lord. And, we MESSED UP! We even messed up our schedule – we stayed up way past midnight to watch a series of movies that did not glorify the Lord!

I felt so bad…and the visuals I had to deal with were, well, wicked. And I cried out for forgiveness. I can’t get those hours back. I can’t stop my memory from working, but I can ask God to wash away the sin, and cleans me.

Ex 29 is the consecration of the priests – through Aaron.

First, they are washed with water – in the door of the tent of meeting…Public confession of uncleanness. Ex 29:4
Then, they were given special garments for worship. Ex 29:5
Then, they were given crowns(mitres) upon their heads Ex 29:6
Then, they were anointed with oil(Ex 29:7)
And then, the sacrifice:

Exodus 29:10-14

10 “Bring the bull to the front of the Tent of Meeting, and Aaron and his sons shall lay their hands on its head.
11 Slaughter it in the Lord’s presence at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting.
12 Take some of the bull’s blood and put it on the horns of the altar with your finger, and pour out the rest of it at the base of the altar.
13 Then take all the fat around the inner parts, the covering of the liver, and both kidneys with the fat on them, and burn them on the altar.
14 But burn the bull’s flesh and its hide and its offal outside the camp. It is a sin offering.

I know that Jesus was the perfect sin sacrifice.

The priests put their hands on Him.
He was publicly flogged, though he needed no cleansing.
He was publicly killed, though he did no wrong.
His blood flowed out, to pay the price for MY sins.

Heb 9:13-14 For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

There is nothing I can do to wash away my sins, Ps 51 cries out for forgiveness…I need to

come with the sacrifice of a contrite heart(Ps 51:17)
wash myself with public confession (I confess here)
put on the garment that Christ has purchased for me
and receive the cleansing blood of Jesus
And I am allowed to enter into the presence of GOD!!!

Leviticus 16 talks about the ‘holy garments’

Isaiah 61:3 says that part of the reason Jesus came was:

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

This is what Jesus read, when HE announced His ministry as told in Luke 14:8. But there’s more. When the perfect sacrifice came – He came to:

The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me
to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to
bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all that mourn;
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion,
to give unto them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (Is 61:1-3)

Sacrifices for our sins was NOT for us to feel guilty, and mope and be in fear…it was to release us from bondage, to proclaim that we belong to the LORD, to cloth us with praise, anoint us with the oil of Joy, and to plant us, to root us into the Vine so that we may produce eternal fruit – with great joy!

Forgiveness is a JOYFUL thing!

I messed up.
I was sorry to disappoint my Abba
I asked for forgiveness, washed with my tears
He gave it immediately, totally, and completely.
He washed me, so that I am whiter than snow!

Is 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Eph 5:25-27 even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

1Pet 1:17- 21 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man’s work, pass the time of your sojourning [here] in fear: Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, [as] silver and gold, from your vain conversation [received] by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.

Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

If you want to learn more about the beauty of the grace of Christ’s sacrifice, I recommend reading Romans chapters 5 & 6. But I do want to point out that just because we have grace, and forgiveness, it does not give us a license to sin.

Rom 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

The joy that there is a sacrifice does not trump the fact that I belong to God, and if I love Him, I will (attempt to) keep His commandments.(John 15:10; 1 John 2:3; 1 John5:2-3;)

Jesus said it so simply :

John 14:15 KJV If ye love me, keep my commandments.

John 14:15 NIV “If you love me, you will obey what I command.

This is not to burden us, but to release us from the burden of sin. Christ’s yoke is…well, here’s how Jesus said it:

Matt 11:28-30 Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light.

His commands are not heavy, nor burdensome. Bearing the correct yoke makes all of life easier, and even a joy.

John 14:21(NIV) Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

Rev 14:12 Here is the patience of the saints: here [are] they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus.

John 10:27-28 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any [man] pluck them out of my hand.

What greater joy to know that even though we are inclined to fall, we have a safety net. While 1 John 2:1 says IF any of you sin…we all know in our hearts that we are going to mess up. We try and try, but we keep stumbling like a toddler learning to walk. God knew this.

The priests had to go through washing, and stuff every time they went into the tabernacle, or temple. Over and over again.

We are the temple of the Holy Ghost – but we need to get washed up on a daily, sometimes minute by minute basis! But here’s a promise I am so glad a friend shared with me:

“For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee: Fear Not, I will help thee!” Is 41:13

It is preceded by another great declaration promise by the Lord:

“Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Is 41:10

With God on my side, ready to complete the work He began in me, I can rest within my Yoke of Jesus, I can be at peace beneath the burden that Jesus puts upon me.

“Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the glory of His presence with exceeding joy, The only Wise God and our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power now and ever. Amen.” Jude 24-25

Thanks for joining me on this journey, and remember to keep your lights shining on the hill where your heart lives!

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check.

The First 100 Days – day 6(94 left to go)

Yesterday’s readings were in Exodus. Exodus 1- 15.

Ex 4:11 And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD?

The background is that God chose this man before he was born (Ps 139:13-16) as He does all of us.

Jer 1:4-5 Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Moses is a type of Christ.

Born in troubling times.
Had to be hidden from those that would kill him
Taken to a pagan culture to grow
Jesus jumped the gun when he was 12
Moses jumped the gun when he killed the Egyptian
When revealed, his country turned on him.
Jesus spent 30 years in obscurity.
Moses spent 40 years on the other side of the mountain.
Moses delivered his people from the slavery of Pharoah
Jesus delivered His people from the slavery and penalty of sin
Moses was prophesied by Jacob and Joseph
Jesus was prophesied by, well, the Old Testament!
John 3:14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:

But Moses doubted his calling, even with a burning bush, heavenly voices, and all that. He told God he couldn’t do it.

And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I [am] not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I [am] slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. (Ex 4:10)

Likewise, Jeremiah, after hearing God’s words, said:

Jer 1:6 Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! behold, I cannot speak: for I [am] a child.

Even Jesus questioned before His ministry started. When Jesus was told to turn water into wine for a family wedding, he turned and told His mother “it’s not my time yet.”( John 2:4)

Other examples:

We have Jonah, and
Abraham and Sarah,
Peter,
Hosea,

and so many others that didn’t feel like they were up to the job. Even Jesus struggled with His ultimate calling:

Mark 14:34 – 42 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

AND THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE:

And he said, Abba, Father, all things [are] possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

Each of us feels weak to do what God has called us. Isn’t it interesting that we can think we are good at something, but that may not be what God has called us to do? Or what God has called us to do, we don’t feel good enough to do it?

In response to our questions, our doubts, our fears God says:

Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the LORD? Ex 4:11

And then, he lets us know that He is not going to leave us alone:

Ex 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.

Jer 1:7-8 But the LORD said unto me, Say not, I [am] a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I [am] with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.

Even Jesus was encouraged by His Father before going to the cross on the Mount of Transfiguration:

Matt 17:5 While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him.

Whatever God is asking us to do, He had a plan before we were born for us to perform it.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Whatever skills God is asking us to use, He created them within us, when he hand made our mouth, eyes, ears, hands and whatever else we may consider a liability. These are marks of GOD’s ownership of us…these are what make us special. And our weakness, disabilities, handicaps, whatever, give Him the greater glory when His works are done.

1 Cor 12:9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

If we could do it in our own strength – what glory is there for God? The greater glory, is when we give it all to the Lord, rest in Him, and just go with the flow.

1 Tim 4:14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery.

Moses delivered a lot of people…because he walked with God. Moses talked with God. Along life’s narrow way. And now he knows that:

He lives, He lives, Salvation to impart…..

You ask me how I know He lives,

He lives within my heart!

Here’s another:

Because He lives – by ignighter

And that is the point…If Jesus lives within our hearts, then we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us! (Phil 4:13)

And, we are called to be the light of the world.

Moses brought the children of Israel out of the darkness of Egypt.

Jesus brought the children of God out of the darkness of sin.

We are to give light in the darkness to call others to Him.

Shine your lights! Polish those lenses! Make white your robes, for your redemption draws nigh! Thanks for joining me on my journey.

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

100 days challenge – moving – check
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – check
50 days T-Tapp – check
21 days Fasting for Food – check.

The First 100 days – day 5

I awoke this morning to a call from our daughter in Germany, to see our grandson awake. I got to hear his coos, gurgles and squeaks, and he even listened to my voice.

It was wonderful to get to see him. And his mommy is looking so good, 5 weeks after having a baby.

It’s been rough having a new grandbaby in Germany, and not being able to be there for my daughter while she went through pregnancy, birth, and now new mothering.

When Jacob saw Joseph, after years of thinking he was dead, he almost passed out. (Gen 45:26)

It was rough for Jacob to handle the first child of his most beloved bride Rachel, was dead(Gen 44:27-31). I think he had an idea that the other’s did something(Gen 42:4), but the depression affected the rest of his life.

Joseph was made a slave, then a prisoner…because his brothers didn’t like the dreams God had given Joseph. Maybe Joseph was a bit arrogant – but the boys had other reasons to hate him – he was dad’s favorite!

When Jacob dies, all the other boys come to Joseph and basically, kiss up. Then Joseph lives out what he’s learned over the however many years as a slave in a foreign land: Gen 50:19-21

19: And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for [am] I in the place of God?

Well, yes, actually, he was, sort of. He was the ruler of all of Egypt, and he had all sorts of power. BUT he knew who he was…and now, he is humble.

20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; [but] God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as [it is] this day, to save much people alive.

The things that were done to Joseph were horrible. Reuben said he’d cried out to his brothers to save him as they handed him over to the Ishmeelites. We know what happens in prisons to young men now, and I’m sure there was a lot of fear. But,

IF the boys had not thrown him in the pit
IF the boys had not sold him to the Ismeelites
IF Potipher’s wife had not accused him
IF the baker and cupholder hadn’t forgotten for two years
THEN Joseph would not have been there to save Jacob’s line!

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

.WE KNOW..why? because of Joseph, because of Abraham, because of Isaac, because of Jonah, because of Nehemiah and Esther and Ruth! WE KNOW because we have their stories. They didn’t have the Bible to read…they only had faith to trust in God. WE HAVE THE WRITTEN WORD OF GOD! We are without excuse!

Joseph had changed. He had learned to humble himself. He had learned to forgive. And the fruit of that forgiveness is displayed in what he did next:

Gen 50:21 Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

I have struggled with God not allowing me to go to Germany to be with my daughter. I have been angry with God for not healing me so that I could travel – to Germany, or to Ethiopia for a mission trip. I have been grumpy.

I am not a slave.
I am not a prisoner.
I am not abused or mistreated.
I may be struggling with a spiritual famine!

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Matthew 6:14 – 15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Joseph is the perfect example of forgiveness, yes. But he is also the perfect example of getting a right attitude, by looking at circumstances through God’s eyes.

Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate [to be] conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

Joseph is considered a type of Christ, and his forgiveness of his brothers is so extreme…it reflects the extreme forgiveness that Christ gives all of us – WHILE WE ARE YET SINNERS!

Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

And the great thing that Christ has done, is

2Cor 4:6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to [give] the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 2:9-10 But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: 10 Which in time past [were] not a people, but [are] now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.

It’s by HIS mercy, that HE orchestrates our lives(the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord), to complete the work He began in us. And all we are to do is to let His light shine in us, and then in turn let that light shine from us to all we meet.

Joseph made a huge impact on his family. Because of Joseph, we have the story of God! Joseph was sacrificed, and then “raised up” to save the remnant of God.

Jesus was sacrificed, and raised up, to save those that choose to believe. He has made a HUGE impact on the family of God!

Forgiving myself, and letting go of my anger at God, accepting the plan He has for my life, allows me to have joy in the skype visits with our grandson. Sacrificing my plans to yield to the Father’s plans, brings peace and contentment to my life. This will have a HUGE impact on my home life, and my mental health!

And I can then sleep in heavenly peace!

May the Lord bless you and Keep you and make His face to shine upon you and give you peace! Num6: 24-26

In His hands and under His wings, watching for His light in my life,

~Christi

100 days of movement – check

100 days of blogging – check

90 days of Bible reading – check(next is Exodus!)

50 days of T-Tapp – check

21 days of Fasting for Food – check