This year, God has put the word PREPARE upon my heart for meditation.
- Prepare ye the way of the Lord – as John the Baptist cried out.
- Prepare for the storm/battle ahead – as in put on the full armor of God, as Paul exhorted the Ephesians.
- Prepare to give an accounting for your days – as in Teach me to number my days that I may apply my heart to wisdom.
This journey is not mine alone, because I am not alone. I have been married to my husband for almost 36 years(this year). While we will stand alone before the Lord to give an accounting of our lives for Him, we do walk in this life together. What happens to me, effects him, and vice versa.
This past week, we have attended a Marriage Intensive, through the ministry of Michael and Amy Smalley. There is an online course, ReIgnite your Marriage. We decided to take a trip to the Houston, Texas area, and do one in real life. Our coach, Gil Martin, was amazing, and very well versed in the material, as well as the Life handbook, the Bible. I’m not going to tell you that it was easy. I’m not even going to tell you that Jim and I got all of our issues taken care of in this three day, 8 hours a day, session. What I can say is that these principles are based upon the Rock of Jesus Christ, and even basic conflict resolution skills and communication skills, but applied to the person in your life that can most easily get under your skin.
What I can also say is that this is preparation to move forward in our marriage. We’ve been given the tools. We’ve been pointed to the one that loves us enough to die for us, and asks us to live love for each other. By God’s grace, we can learn to move past 36 years of disconnection, and move together in HIS direction.
But that’s not what this blog is about.
As we were working through some of the material, I remembered one of the tools that Jim and I came up with years ago, and it helped us to connect. Why we stopped is probably why everyone stops doing something that works with their spouse – someone got angry, someone got hurt, and neither one knew how to get out of that cycle. While we did use this tool, we were growing together.
I’d like to share this tool with you.
P-R-A-I-S-E
- First, we purchased a spiral notebook. I picked out some cutsey ones that had hearts on them, somewhere near valentines day.
- Second, we chose individual colors. My color is blue, and Jim’s is red.
- Then, we set aside time to meet over breakfast each morning.
P-PRAISE (GOD)
blue – Praise God from whom all blessings flow
I read mine to Jim.
red – Praise God who blesses us with every good thing
Jim reads his to me.
if there are questions, here is where we ask them.
(sometimes this gets even more specific, but this is the idea)
R-REVELATION (WHAT HAS GOD BROUGHT TO YOUR HEART TODAY?)
blue – Ps 15 talks about who shall abide in God’s tabernacle, ending with “He that doeth these things shall not be moved” while Ps 16 starts with “Preserve me O God; for in thee do I put my trust!” Even though the Psalmist was given a list of things with a promise, he knew he had to cry out for grace and help from God!
red – Ps 1 progression. blessed is the man that
walketh not – community circles
standeth not – social circles
sitteth not – at home
A-APPRECIATION (OF YOUR SPOUSE)
blue – thank you for coming to this intensive
red – thank you for giving me time to lie down
I-INFORMATION (SOMETHING THAT WE BOTH NEED TO KNOW)
blue – the spot on my neck is causing some headache pain
I have appointments almost everyday next week
we are meeting our friends sat at 8:30am
red – I have trips in the middle of the week
I have a presentation to prepare for
I need to study to retake a test
S-SUPPLICATION (PRAYER REQUESTS TO SHARE)
blue – healing for our ‘son’ in Ethiopia
prayers for friends dealing with cancer
Faith’s pregnancy and birth and plans
red – healing
tests
travel
E-EXALTATION (A SONG THAT THE LORD LAYS UPON OUR HEARTS)
blue – he that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high
shall abide under the shadow of the almighty…
red – the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and he delights in his way…
Once we have shared back and forth, we then go to prayer together over the prayer requests, and any others. When we are done, we sing praises to God with the songs He laid upon our hearts.
This can take as long as an hour(I don’t think it ever has) and as short as 20 minutes or less.
There are so many way that this connects the two of us, and keeps us on at least a close similar page.
True confession – once Jim started traveling for his job, 3+ years ago, I was inflexible about how we would do PRAISE.
We tried it via email, but I missed the interactive part, and seriously, I wanted the pretty colored pages in the book for remembrance.
Via the phone didn’t work for me, because I really wanted to look into his eyes, and wanted him to look into my eyes!
Jim has worked on setting up video chatting, and really, that didn’t work so well until recently, with technological advances.
In order for this to work, both people need to disconnect from other things, and focus upon each other. That means, no computer, no tv, and no phone unless that is the device for the discussion!
This is just our take on various other versions of how to sit down and talk.
We’ve been to Marriage Encounter – and tried to learn to dialogue – but never got the follow up group, and we just never seemed to figure that out.
In this Smalley Intensive, they talk about LOVE talk.
There are many tools out there to teach conflict resolution, negotiation, communication, and respect. Pick one. Try it.
But understand, you are preparing for battle, and a storm is coming.
You aren’t battling your spouse,
but you are entering into battle with the one that comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Gather up some tools.
Practice.
and be PREPARED!
Me and My Love
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I want to thank Blue Letter Bible and Bible Gateway for the ability to search the Bible online.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
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