Tag Archives: one word

2018 Summary – My One Word and other thoughts

Hello 2019!
Good bye 2018.
But first, I tend to look over the past year, and see any mistakes, misunderstandings, mess ups so I can potentially change that for the next year.

One thing I have not normally done is look over the last year for successes! Hmmm, that goes along with my mental illness cognitive distortions…I’ve talked about those in other places. I think that the final days of 2018, I experienced a success. Let me tell you that story!

Last days of 2018 revelation

I had held my husband to a dream I called a vision that I had for us…and I held my children to one when they lived in our house. It was for our joy and the glory of God, so it’s all good, right?

Let me tell you the story.
We had just attended church where the pastor was talking about the mission statement for our church:

  • Loved
  • Life
  • Fulfill your purpose

Pastor talked about how after a very tragic event in he and his wife’s life, they were seeking God about what to do. They realized that they saw others hurting the same way they were, and they could minister to them, and give them hope. Out of that heart was born our church.

Now, this is the key to my purpose and ministry. Out of my wounds, I reach out to other wounded women, and lead them to the healing power and love of Jesus.

After Church, Jim and I went to dinner.
I like to discuss the message after church, it seems to help me settle it down in my heart.

I asked Jim what was his purpose in life.
“To be like Jesus”

Um, that is the general call of God to all those who believe upon Him. That is NOT a specific call.
Here’s what I have seen over the years.

  • He and I have had difficulties learning each other’s love languages.
  • He and I have separated and come back together, not with the heavenly music and angels, with the romantic nuances, but by hard work and determination to stay the course as a married couple(we both agree God called us to marry).
  • He and I have tools that we could share with other couples.
  • We have been told that we have a testimony that will change marriages.
  • We have been told that we are called to take what we’ve learned and share it with others.

I asked Jim what was his purpose in life.
“To Be Like Jesus”

Jim has no desire to be in couples ministry.
Jim has no desire to minister to other couples.
Let me clarify that last one.
Jim has no desire to minister to other couples AS A COUPLE.
In fact, we do not have the same point of view about how our marriage has been saved, nor about the testimony of the years, nor about how or what we’ve done, other than God.

My heart broke…Jim had no calling to minister with me to couples that were hurting.
This explained why he had no desire to give counsel to our children about the pit falls they were walking into in their relationships.
This explains why whenever I talk about marriage ministry I hear crickets.

So, I broke down, and spent a day in bed crying out to God.
What is wrong?
Why can’t he see his call?
“Is it his call?”
But Lord, it’s the focus of all things Bible…take the evil and turn it to good…take the wounded to bring healing…our marriage was broken, is broken, but we have tools that we can share to save other marriages!
“What is your call?”
To glean from my wounds to help the wounded seek Jesus and be healed, loved, and delivered.
And the Lord reminded me of one of my visions.
I was standing before women, with healing flowing from my hands as I spoke.
Jim wasn’t there.
The children weren’t there.
Only me.
THIS WAS MY CALL ALL ALONG!

The Revelation?
HE DID NOT HAVE THIS CALL!
Do I?
Maybe, but not as a couple, if Jim doesn’t have the call!
It kind of takes a couple to be a couple in ministry to couples. I’m only half of the couple!

Another revelation as I looked at OUR calling…
I also felt that the fact that our children and we collectively represented all 7 motivational giftings, and could be an enormous powerhouse for God…we just had to die to self and learn to work together! A ministering family!
I wanted our family to enjoy the joy of being with Jesus that I enjoyed when I did street ministry, beach witnessing, discipleship, working with homeless, and crisis pregnancy and wounded women. I wanted them to be part of the same joy that I was experiencing.

Instead, I was projecting my dream upon them.
Was there anything wrong with my dream?
No. there are plenty of families that have similar ministries to what I dreamed of.
Was there anything wrong with my approach?
Yes – if God didn’t give them a call, then I was pushing them, and that is NOT the way God works.
Can I see their giftings?
Yes.
Can I make them walk in their giftings?
No.
Can I place a call upon their lives because of the one placed upon my life?
Only if I am God…and I am not…and everyone said or shouted “AMEN”

I repeat, I was projecting a form of my ministry calling upon them. It’s NOT MY JOB to tell them what their calling is!
I’M NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT!

Again, let’s all say AMEN! and THANK GOD!

I apologized to Jim, and asked him to give me grace because i do see the greatness in him, and I see the potential for his story to help heal others, and I know that he is doing so, but not with me.

With me.
Hmmm.

Therein lies one of the lies I have embraced, or the fears that I have allowed to lead me.
I don’t want to be alone.
I will be all alone.
I will fail all alone.
I am alone.

One of the mental illnesses causes me fear when I meet new people that they will not like me or that they will hurt me.
It’s something that by God’s grace, I fight with His word, and when I am on His mission, fear is gone, and I can only love and reach out in Jesus’ name.

Before being anointed in an outing, I am fully human, and fully fighting for fear to leave and love to replace it.

Jim has been a rock for me here on earth – Jesus with skin on, if you will. He has the ability to ground me in an instant…not in the grounding like punishment, but in the grounding like mental peace.

My love languages are words…
Words of affirmation
Quality time

His are not.
Therefore, why would I think that he would be called to speak? Or write? Or do anything with words?
Now, to be honest, his current job has seen him grow in word usage tremendously, and his favorite game is words with friends.

His main language is acts of service…and he has an amazingly generous heart! Two very wonderful giftings!

When we were first married, he thought I was offended that he wasn’t as exuberant as I with worship. I didn’t understand, but I wasn’t offended or judging. Once we discussed it, I understood…he’s very quiet. When he lifts his hand in praise, he is moved tremendously!

I have spent much of our married life expecting a dream to come true if only…

  • If only I was more submissive
  • If only Jim was more open
  • If only I was more prayerful
  • If only Jim would learn to share(with me)
  • If only I was more reserved
  • If only Jim was more If only I were more…
  • THIS IS NOT FAIR TO EITHER OF US!

Jim’s call may very well be to be like Jesus.
He may have a more specific call.
I may have muddied the waters by putting out there the “call” I dreamed of…and for that, I am eternally sorry.

  • Our marriage has suffered because of my actions.
  • Our family has suffered because of my actions.
  • Our ministries have suffered because of me.

I’ve been learning about recognizing MY CALL for a little while…I mean a SHORT while!
The Associate pastor at church asked me to consider working with the children, because there was a great need. In the split second before I answered, I asked the Lord what to say. Here’s what He told me to say.

“Children’s ministry is where I hide out from doing my actual ministry. It’s an excuse not to work with wounded women”

Pastor Bob got it.
So did I.

Don’t project your call upon someone else!
And don’t let someone else project the need upon you as a call!

Pastor Keith said something else.
If you are not called to this church, I don’t want you here. Go where God wants you!

I’m not sure what that means about Jim and his choice for a church, but I cannot let go that I was called to this church.
That brings up another sticky situation in our marriage, doesn’t it?
But that’s something for us to work on in 2019.

You may be asking how is this a success?
I REALIZED THE SOURCE OF HUGE STRESS IN OUR MARRIAGE AND MY WALK WITH THE LORD!

Once you find the problem, you can find a solution.
Jim was very gracious in accepting my apology.
I’ve apologized for the pressures I put on our children before…and they have to walk in their healing, as all children have to walk in healing towards their human parents for being imperfect. That walk, in each of them, is taking different turns and ups and downs, but, we are so proud of our children.
No, non are in ministry.
No, non are in the super professions like doctor, lawyer, king.
All are functioning members of US society, providing for themselves, and in a couple cases, for their children.
All are ethical, moral, and can create an excellent argument from scripture, and some are even influencing social media for good in ways we’d never have expected.

And, we love them all.

So, to rehash “Be Like Jesus” I’m going to post some of the blogs.
My word for last year didn’t come gently. I started 2018 in pain.
Emotional and Physical.
On January 3, 2018, I didn’t like the phrase God was giving me, nor did I like the application thereof! My first writing as on learning the priority to love – like Jesus. It’s convicting, even a year later! I’m still not doing it so well, but I think the testimony at the beginning of this blog, as in, the end of 2018, says I’m learning something!

Midnight Musings are usually poetic, but the points that God gave me in the night, January 6, 2018, were these:

    • Glorify God in my struggles
    • Empathy
    • Do Good
    • Love
    • Joy
    • Peace

.

My first blog about my one word is also review of the Star Trek series Discovery. I discussed the pros and cons for this show, but, in light of “Be Like Jesus”, I came to this conclusion:

MY views…….
While they are encouraging and inspirational – they do not fill me with the love of Jesus that is MY healing power.

There’s much scripture about how I am trying to apply choices in my life. Because, being like Jesus IS a choice!

January 15th, I started unraveling some human aspects to what was keeping me from being like Jesus. Sin.

THIS IS OUR CHOICE! But if we remain afraid…if we continue lying…we will not know this freedom.

It includes one of my favorite songs by Keith Green:

Another huge thing I had to learn is that resting is being like Jesus! Say What? Yes. January 23, 2018, God cleared up the whole be Super Christian mentality for me, and let me know that HE knows that I need rest, and that HE even exemplified it for me, and created it for me! You also get a nice photo of my spoon collection!

How does this tell me to be like Jesus? REST
1. Recognize my limitations. I am finite. I am NOT GOD-Man!
2. Embrace the YOKE of HIS calling, not MY want to. Make sure I’m doing the Father’s will.
3. Remember that REST is a holy gift from my Father God. It honors God for me to rest.

The rest of the year, I wrote about preparation, recouperation, and recovery from Kidney Cancer in the Surgery Scuttlebutt series. It really was about how I learned how to be like Jesus going through a tremendous trial.

My praise in that time is that Jim said that I was always polite to the staff, no matter what their position, always thanking and always apologizing, no matter how many drugs I was on. I hope the two friends that came to stay with me afterwards can say the same. I was actively learning to be like Jesus!

I wrote several Bible studies, Lent Series, Itty Bitty Bible study, all of which you can search for on this blog. Each one, each insight into scripture, and scripture is how I learn to be like Jesus.

The huge thing(no, kidney cancer and surgery were not the most huge thing in my life this year) was shared in The End is Near… This is a play on my one word, but it is the testimony of how Jesus orchestrated our life change. It goes right up to the kidney surgery, which is then picked up in Surgery Scuttlebutt.

There are so many verses that can lead one to be like Jesus.
I can’t list them all.
There are many listed in the above blogs.
This year, I’m starting out doing Itty Bitty Bible Study in Titus – and the first few verses are about the qualities that should be evident in those that lead.

Titus 1:6-9 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
6 one who is blameless,
the husband of one wife,
having faithful children not accused of wildness or rebellion.
7 For an overseer, as God’s administrator,
must be blameless,
not arrogant,
not hot-tempered,
not addicted to wine,
not a bully,
not greedy for money,
8 but hospitable,
loving what is good,
sensible,
righteous,
holy,
self-controlled,
9 holding to the faithful message as taught,
so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching
and to refute those who contradict it.

That is a huge order.
But with God, nothing is impossible.
The fruit of the Spirit are evident in that list.
And, while I am not the husband of one wife…I can be committed to my one husband, and non of the others can be argued against, can they?

I guess, even though the phrase has changed….the concept is still the same!

Proverbs 4:23 English Standard Version (ESV)
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

Jesus kept his heart with all diligence, and we can agree that out of His heart flows springs of life.

Happy New year!

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2017 – My One Word – #mydays – wk8 day 3

I have started to read the book My One Word by Mike Ashcroft. (the link is added, but I do not have a partnership at this point).

Of course, this is still true:
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

#mydays

This is my insight for today – seeking wisdom from the Lord, and from my daily writing via 750words
This is not a grammatically correct writing – this is from a free flowing thought writing during my meditation. Some captitalization issues are more for poetic/artistic impact than grammar. Some of the flow, and sentence structure is more poetic than accurate writing code. Please be gracious as I share my heart.

Today’s came out as raw poetically.

and now, I need to be strong and courageous, not tremble or be dismayed.
the Lord my God shall be with me wherever I go
I need to be doing the art blog as well as the bible blog and the words blog
i need to be doing my bible study, my prayer, my spiritual warfare
I need to be a loving and supportive wife
i need to be a praying mama
i need to be a praying sponsor of my compassion and my NHM childre
i need to be a praying friend
i need to be what God has called me to be
and I need to allow that calling to be real…and all that i need.
all i need is Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
if i am more like Jesus
then i will not be seen
because if i’m more like Jesus
his love is all they’ll see
my heart is hurt
my mind is dull
my body is broken and tired
but all i need is Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to love and love
and all others will see is his love
i am not what others need to look at
i am not the prince of peace
i am not what others need to be like
i am not the creator of the universe
i am just a simple follower
i am just one saved by grace
i am just a simple child
that has turned my life to the father of lights
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with the holy spirit
all i need is to be more like him
when darkness comes and
i’m so afraid
when lightning strikes and
i can’t see thy face
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is my own Gethsemane
all i need is to lay down my life
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with His spirit
all i need is to be yielded to his grace.
my body is torn and tired and weary
my mind is split and fuzzy and blamed
my heart is sore, and wounded and troubled
but i’m a child of God
and I’m saved by grace
all i need is to be like Jesus
all i need is to be more like Him
all i need is to be filled with His spirit
all i need is to seek his face
His face
His grace
His love
fill me lord
His love
his peace
his joy
fill me lord
fill me lord

be near me lord Jesus i ask thee to stay
close by me forever and love me i pray
keep all your dear children in thy tender care
and take us to heaven to live with thee there.

all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him
all i need is to be filled with his spirit
all i need is to seek his face
all i need is to lay down my life
all i need is to embrace his grace
all i need is to be more like Jesus
all i need is to be more like him.
all i need is to love like Jesus
so those that see me will see his face.
in Jesus’ name
amen

this is copyrighted by M. Christine Wildman, as of this publishing – 22 Feb 2017, all rights reserved.

My 750words entry for today.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!
I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2017 My One Word – #mydays – wk7day3

I have started to read the book My One Word by Mike Ashcroft. (the link is added, but I do not have a partnership at this point).

Of course, this is still true:
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

#mydays

This is my insight for today – seeking wisdom from the Lord, and from my daily writing via 750words
This is not a grammatically correct writing – this is from a free flowing thought writing during my meditation. Some captitalization issues are more for poetic/artistic impact than grammar. Some of the flow, and sentence structure is more poetic than accurate writing code. Please be gracious as I share my heart.

The word of God is sharper than any two edged sword(Hebrews 4:12)
the word of God is hidden in my heart that I will not sin against him (Psalm 119:11)
then, why do i sin?
ah that age old question – Paul wondered that
The confession from church prays that I do those things that I ought not to do, and I don’t do those things that I ought to do and there is no help in us.

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou those, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou those who are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind in Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen. 1928 book of Common Prayer

Romans 7:15-20
15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

There is help in us…it’s called Jesus Christ!
He sent His Holy Spirit to fill us so that we could have the strength, the courage, the wisdom and the grace and mercy to do better.
do better?
is that the whole qualifier?
that I want to do better?
that I want to be better?
since I’m learning that God does not hold me to the standard of perfection –
since I’ve learned that God just asks me to move forward towards perfection – 
since i’m learning that moving forward, even if I fall back…

the steps of a good man are ordered by the lord and he delights in his way
though he fall, he shall not be cast down
for the Lord upholds him with his hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)

…falling back does not mean my walk with Jesus is over.
I’d have to turn completely away…and never return.

  • falling back means I’m human
  • repentance means I’m a Christian
  • forgiveness means I’m a child of God.
  • mercy and grace mean that I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and His father is MY father,
  • and my Father loves me enough to receive me back whenever I turn away,
  • to pick me up whenever I fall down and
  • to hold me in the palm of his hand, and
  • help me to run the race with endurance,
  • to finish the race, and
  • to see him face to face at the end of the age!

so why do i struggle with my position in the family of God?
because of my position in the family in which is was born.
again…they are/were all human.
God is divine, eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, omni everything.

  • He has known me since before I was formed in my mothers womb.(Jeremiah 1:5)
  • he has had a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11-13)since before I was formed in my mothers womb.
  • thanks to Jeremiah and Psalm 139 – I know that I was fearfully and wonderfully made
  • i know that i was made for a purpose
  • i know that i am here because God breathed life into me at birth
  • i know that i am here because God said “this one is mine”
  • and i know that i am a Christian because he gave me the gift of faith that I could believe.(Ephesians 2:8-9)
  • and I know that it was my choice to believe…(John 3:16-17)
  • i know that it is my choice to love God with my whole heart, mind, strength and soul.(Mark 12:30)
  • i know that it is my choice to choose daily to walk as Christ walked…or walk as christi might want to walk…and i don’t always choose well.

In the search for the holy grail, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade…’you have chosen wisely’ or ‘you have chosen unwisely’ – the choices are pretty dramatic for the results…
choosing unwisely brings death
choosing wisely brought healing and restoration.
it’s very much the same in the Christian walk.
Making choices that are clearly indicated in scripture – life and death:
choose ye this day whether you shall choose life or death – but I say choose life! Joshua 24:15!

Not all choices are so big and earth shattering in a life..such as the 10 commandments, the sermon on the mount, the love chapter, the fruit of the spirit.
Some choices have more subtle life and death choices

  • binging on chocolate or ice cream…and getting blurry eyes.
  • cutting for the adrenaline surge …and getting pain.
  • not sleeping – and losing energy, and mental clarity
  • ignoring a doctors instructions – and damaging already damaged tissue.

they don’t cause death…but they impair life.

  • the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10)
  • in the presence of the lord is joy forever more (Psalm 16:11)
  • Jesus came that i might have joy, (John 15:11)
  • and that joy, is my strength…Nehemiah 8:10
  • and i need to be in God’s presence to be immersed in that joy…Psalm 16:11
  • and that presence, i can enter in, because I have Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior (Ephesians 3:12)
  • and i can boldy go before the throne (Hebrews 4:16)
  • and in that throne room, i receive all that i need to choose life (Hebrews 10:19-20)
  • life, and life abundantly…(John 10:10)
  • full of joy, peace, and righteousness…in the holy spirit (Romans 14:17).

With all of this, why would i not choose to spend time in the Lord’s presence?
Ah – that’s back to the prayer…
i don’t do the things i ought to do…and there is no help in us.
thank you, Father, that I can come boldly and ask you for help…
thank you, Jesus, for loving me enough to die for my sins and raise me up with you.
thank you, Holy Spirit, for living in me, and guiding me and comforting me…as long as I ask.
Thank you – God, for being my God.
Amen.

Thank you for reading my meditation for today.
What does it have to do with “teach me to number my days”?
I guess it’s more about – “that I might apply my heart to wisdom”.
It’s about choosing to spend time in God’s presence.
It’s about choosing to hide God’s word in my heart.
It’s about choosing wisely!
I hope it blesses you!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!
I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2017 My One Word – #mydays week three – Get a Grip

I know that I need to get a grip on what I’m doing.
I need to figure out what I need to do every day.
I need to set a schedule – which would work well if I could actually fall asleep when I’m supposed to go to bed!

Sleep – bed time – that’s when the schedule should start!
evening and morning the first day.
I need to get my bedtime routine set, and then, with this in the morning, maybe things will start to fall into place.

Maybe I can even start some sort of exercise routine!
I can write 750words, and then move over to the itty bitty bible study and write those…

  • meditation,
  • prayer,
  • seeking God and then
  • bible study

Then maybe my body…sounds like I just got my #mydays word for the day.
I do have an armor of God workout that I’ve created and should put into practice again!

Father God, please guide me – teach me your ways that I may number my days and seek wisdom – your wisdom!

Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Today, I’m praying for

  • a friend’s sisters, and for her own peace
  • a friend having hernia surgery today
  • a friend who’s twin infant is hospitalized with breathing difficulties
  • a friend that is going through some trying times financially
  • a friend whose son will be deploying soon – as well as military moms I know
  • tonight’s group connect and the preparation for the home group in our home
  • my family
  • my friends
  • my country
  • my husband
  • my marriage
  • my walk with the Lord.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!
I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2016 – Arting at Stone Mountain Georgia(prepare)


Before we left for Atlanta and Stone Mountain, I was preparing my art materials in order to take them with us. One of my tools is a camera. The preparation was so that I could utilize one of the gifts that God has placed within me.

This is the meditation that came about as I thought about painting as worship. It also includes a meditation after I lost my camera.

~Christi

Psalm 139:14 I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Ephesians 2:10 I was created in Christ for good works which God prepared beforehand that ib should walk in them. 

He gives everyone gifts. Got Questions has written an answer to how does God give spiritual gifts.

1 Peter 4:10 We are expected to use the gifts that we have been given!

Romans 11:29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance

Matthew 5:14-17New International Version (NIV)

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

I have been told that I have a gift when it comes to art.
I have not been so sure, until folks that do art are doing things that amaze me, and tell me that my work, without training, is amazing.
I have denied what I have – and therefore, I have not used it for any type of worship consistently.

Don’t bury your gift/ talents !!!

Matthew 25:14-30
Luke 19:11-27

The parable of the talents is very scary when you look at the one that buried his talent…sent into outer darkness.
In Lukes version, they were brought and killed.
That’s a high price for hiding your talent! 

Like forgive as we are forgiven…if you don’t forgive,  God will not forgive you.

Matthew 6:14-15(Right after the Lord’s Prayer!)
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiveness is a gift. From God. Therefore, we should give forgiveness!
Ephesians 4:32
Colossians 3:13

Mercy is how we are given forgiveness.
Deuteronomy 4:31
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.

Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

A commentary about God’s Mercy is very enlightening.

Grace is how we receive the gift of faith.

Ephesians 2:8-9New International Version (NIV)

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

  • To not give forgiveness when it’s been freely given is to say that I have more right to be wounded than God!
  • To not be merciful when I’ve been given so much mercy is to cheapen that gift.
  • To not give grace through forgiveness is to hide that gift of God under a bushel.

Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men,  that they may see your good works (for which we are created) and glorify your father in heaven. 

This is how we turn our gifts back to God as worship.

So, on October 6, 2016, I chose to walk out to a pavilion, carrying my painting supplies, in order to worship God in the nature, and to paint as worship to Him!

Update; three days later –
That day, I took photos in order to paint after leaving the area. Once we arrived in Ohio from Atlanta, I searched for that camera, and it is no where to be found.

I fell prey to the enemy telling me that I was not worthy to be an artist for Christ. And, he’s right. I am not worthy.

I wrote this on Facebook:

I was so excited about painting at Stone Mountain.
I was so excited about my first plein air painting.
I was content to finish it with the photograph on my camera.
I was looking forward to painting Stone Mountain from the photos I was able to take as we left the park.
I am devastated to realize that the camera is missing – and unless it shows up in Jim Wildman’s computer bag(no reason for it to be there}, it is gone. Last known place is the rental car we turned in at Atlanta.
Even worse? I have no idea what other photos are on the camera,
And, today, I will not be able to take photos of our grandson playing football.
I’m feeling very stupid, careless, and a hundred other negative feelings about myself. The camera is part of my ‘job’ tools. If Jim Wildman were to lose his laptop, a composer lose his sheet music in progress, or a dancer lose her shoes – it would be similar in devastation.

I’m so sad. and the worst part is that I wanted photos of the grandkids.

I am not worthy – except that I have embraced Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to bear the name of Christ – as in Christian. IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to be a standard bearer, an ambassador for him. The enemy always forgets that part when attacking me! or any of us!

It always seems to be that once I commit to doing something for the Lord, something happens to undermine it. The other interesting part of this is that I felt that I needed to defend my discouragement by pointing out the issues like not being able to photograph our grandson. That was important, but, I have hidden my talents for so many years that I was really thrilled to pull them out and try to let them shine. I had a phone to take photos of our grandson. And they turned out pretty well! In my own lack of worth, I felt that I was not even good enough consider the loss of my camera for the art’s sake as important.

Was God surprised about the camera? Of course not.
Can we replace the camera? Yes – though we’d rather not spend that money right now.
Does God forgive me my carelessness? Of course.
Do I? That is a different story! Probably a different post!
Did God stop loving me or call me an unprofitable servant? Of course NOT!
Do I? call myself an unprofitable servant? It’s been known to happen.

There is something about learning to see myself with Jesus’s eyes.
This song is for me and my friend Shirley –

The upside is that Jim will be stopping by home, and coming back with our other camera, and we will be back in Atlanta before I return home. We will drive back to Stone Mountain, and by God’s grace and mercy, snap a few more photos so that I can share the glory of God!
No matter how dismal the situation seems, if my heart is focused upon serving the Lord Jesus, He will make all things work together for the good!

Romans 8:28-30

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Preparation?

  • First – know that you are called and have a calling! that means preparing with a relationship with the Creator God through His son, Jesus Christ.
  • Second – have the tools ready, available, and portable to go when and where you are called. Prepare with packing and packaging!
  • Third – Remember that our enemy is a roaring lion, prowling about looking for whom he can destroy. Prepare for the battles!
  • Fourth, and this may be the most important – prepare my heart by hiding God’s word within!

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my life. Once I have the new photos of Stone Mountain, I will post those here, and maybe even the finished painting!

Me and My Love

Me and My Love

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank Blue Letter Bible and
Bible Gateway and
Bible Hub for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media!
I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries