Tag Archives: prayer

2016 end of year thoughts

I am thankful to the Lord Jesus Christ for bringing me through this year.

The beginning of the year was not as bad as the beginning of 2015.

I spent from the end of March to the beginning of June in Youngstown, Ohio, to help our daughter with the birth of her third son.

I stayed in an apartment – and that enabled me to watch the other two boys.

with the help of my co-gramma, Kate Gibson, I planned and executed two parties – a Baby Shower, and a third birthday!
My BFF Susan Stephens came to help with the Shower:

Theodore Montgomery Gibson was born April 6, three days after the shower!

Oliver’s third Birthday was a success – with many cousins from around Ohio!

Sad part – my cat Purrl got outside on a wet, rainy day, and was killed.

Much of the time in Ohio was spent with the Gibson family, enjoying the boys, and of course, our daughter.
I missed the birthday party for Aubrey Jo, because i was sick. I did get to buy some dance outfits for her! And she did come to Oliver’s birthday, as did Brayden and Wyatt!

ADD FAMILY PHOTO

Sad Part – just as everyone was coming for Mother’s day, Gabriel started having ear issues, and was having difficulty standing up. We took him to a veternary ER. Within days, he could no longer hear – which seemed to be from the medicine.

Mother’s day – almost the whole family was together. Rachel flew in, Stephen came up with his son, Brayden, and we had a great time. It’s been a long time since i’ve had this much of a wonderful Mother’s day!

sad part – Meranda’s grandmother was on the last leg of her trip into eternity, therefore Meranda and Aubrey and Wyatt spent her last mother’s day with her. a week later, gramma was gone.

Gabriel was having difficuties understanding commands – which meant that he was in a questionable position as my service dog.

We came home, and Jim had planned a west coast trip in connection with RedHat Summit in San Francisco. We did a lighthouse tour from San Fran up to Seattle.
We could not take Gabriel – and we found an amazing lady to board him!
The really awesome gift was getting to see our daughter Anna in San Francisco!

In August, we found out that Jim’s PSA was rising rediculously fast – the cancer was back.
In September, we talked to the surgeon. And, I realized that Gabriel needed to be retired, and that I needed to travel with Jim to aide in the stress reduction of his travel. Therefore, I gave Gabriel up.
In October, we had a biopsy done. Gleason score of 7
In November, we were on a waiting list for the set up to repeat the HIFU procedure.Set up just before Thanksgiving.
In December, we had several procedures to handle Jim’s situation.
The end of the year – we traveled to Seattle to spend Christmas time with our daughter, Anna, and to relax for the end of the year.

My word for this year was Prepare – and I wrote several blogs about that word.
Moving to Ohio for three months really brought home the need for preparation.
Hearing that the cancer was back, and more aggressive – that really screamed the need to be prepared for anything.

i have been leaning on Psalm 23 these last few months. Things have been happening so fast, that I have not finished my devotions on Psalm 23!

That and the focus upon the trials of the original Christmas story. I have added painting to my trips with Jim in order to reduce my stress.

I sewed little bags for the ornaments – breaking out my sewing machine for the first time in years! actually, since the movers lost mine when they brought us down from Ohio to Texas in 2010!

Money has been tight, because the medical procedure is NOT covered by insurance, and we are still paying off the loan for the last procedure (Feb 2015). God has shown himself our shepherd – we shall not want! Jim’s job provided enough travel that most of our visit to Anna for Christmas is paid for by points! And, the things that we do here have been gifts from Anna! It’s been amazing to just rest, and let Anna take control! She has such good taste!

I have no idea what 2017 has in store.
A new president – which may enter in the events to allow Jesus Christ to return, and usher in the new Kingdom! If not – we still know that this world is not our home, we are just passing through.

Because of all the uncertainty, my focus for next year, that I don’t seem to get away from, is to number my days.

Psalm 90:12
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

I know I am supposed to finish the devotions on Psalm 23, I know I’m supposed to start up the Itty Bitty Bible Study again, and I know that I’m supposed to be painting.

I will be by Jim’s side as he fights this enemy.

I will try to live my life with Matthew 5, 6, & 7; 1 corinthians 13, and Galatians 5 as my examples.
I will try to remember to put on my armor – Ephesians 6, and to trust that the battle is the Lords – Psalm 91.

More than anything, this year, I want to live in the grace and mercy of the Father – so that the negative self doubt and self talk no longer keep me a spiritual invalid. I want to embody:
Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me

~~~~~

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Advent Day 27 – What to do while we wait

Advent Day 27
If doing the Advent Log, light candles 1-27

Even though Jesus has come, died, and rose again, we are waiting.
Again.
We are waiting for His return.

What can we do while we wait?

Acts 2:42-47
42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching
and to fellowship,
to the breaking of bread
and to prayer.
43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles.
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common.
45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.
46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.
They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,
47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

We can focus on some of the ways that Jesus comes to us!

Jesus comes to us by His Spirit
When Jesus was saying goodbye to His disciples, He told them that he would not leave them comforless, but send the Spirit that would be with them.

John 14:15-17
15 “If you love me, keep my commands.
16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[a] in you.

It is the sight of the dove coming down upon Jesus at His baptism that gives us the symbol of the dove for Christmas. It is the Symbol of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus comes to us in His Word – teaching
The Apostle John called Jesus the Word of God.
And Jesus said in Mark 13:31

31 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

By reading, meditating and memorizing God’s word, Jesus comes to us, and dwells in our hearts with knowledge.
Psalms 119 says that we hide his word in our hearts that we might not sin against him.
John 14:23 says that If a man loves me(Jesus), he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make our home with him.

God’s word helps us to know Jesus better, and to love him more, and in turn, he comes to dwell within us.

Jesus comes to us in People – fellowship
That would be by fellowship with other believers.
1 Corinthians says that we are the body of Christ.
It also says that we are the temple of the Holy Ghost.
and the best key of fellowship – Where two or more are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20

We are to be Jesus to each other!

These are just a few of the ways that the first century church remembered Jesus daily, and reminded each other that Jesus was still in our midst. We were meant to live and breath in Jesus.

More Advent Devotions

Merry Christmas!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2016 Word of the Year – Prepare – Marriage tools 2

I wrote recently about how God is preparing our marriage for, well, whatever. We started repairing our marriage by attending a Smalley Institute Marriage Intensive. I shared some marriage tools in Marriage Tools 1.

I admit, I did not think that this was going to work for us. I was, however, compelled(by my commitment, and by God’s constant reminding) to do my part. We were instructed to pray 1 Cor 13, personalized for the two of us. Like this:

4 Love is patient,
I will love Jim.
I will be patient with Jim

love is kind.
I will be kind to Jim.

It does not envy,
I will not be envious or jealous of Jim.

it does not boast,
I will not boast to Jim.

it is not proud.
I will humble myself before God and with Jim.

And so on….
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.

This is the NIV version.
The other versions have some additional twists….like verse 5 in KJV!

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Here’s CEB:

4 Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant,
5 it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints,
6 it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth.
7 Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails.

Here is the version that will give me the most challenge:
Amplified Version:

4 Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.
5 It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured.
6 It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail].
7 Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].
8 Love never fails [it never fades nor ends].

I confess, I tried to get out of this assignment by pleading to go back to Galatians 5:22-23. But the Amplified Version really convicted me:

22 But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

“the result of His presence within us”
“unselfish concern for others”

Those amplifications of being in the Spirit and love really threw me back to this assignment – praying 1 Cor 13:4-8 over Jim, as I confessed and asked God for grace and mercy to follow His path.

What happened?
I changed.
I have heard so often that if you pray for someone, you will love them more. Yeah yeah yeah! I pray for Jim – and not for him to change. That wasn’t changing me!
This changed me.

Try it.
I dare you!

Praying God’s word is powerful…especially if you are praying it over yourself!
Warning! This could change you forever!

Me and My Love

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank Blue Letter Bible and Bible Gateway for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries

2016 Word for the year – PREPARE – today

Ps 90:12 So Teach us therefore to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.

Proverbs is full of verses and passages about wisdom.

This blog meditation is about TODAY

Ps 118:24 This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. – TODAY

Heb 3:15 While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation – TODAY

Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve…. – TODAY

There is only one day for us to be concerned with – TODAY

We only have today
yesterday is gone
tomorrow is not here yet,
Today is all we have, that is why it’s called the present!

As believers in christ, it is our responsibility to go to the throne at the end of each day, and put our mistakes, sins, and anything that would hinder our progress under the blood of Jesus. Then, we are to let it go. If we believe that putting things under the blood, by asking forgiveness, and truly repenting – then we should LET IT GO!

As believers in Christ, we are to believe that God has tomorrow in His hand. We cannot do anything to effect tomorrow, except to live today in the most powerful way possible. That is to live by faith – not pulled down by fear and anxiety about tomorrow.

Elisabeth Elliot is quoted as saying that we do not have to worry about tomorrow because God is already there.

Tomorrow has enough evil.

Matthew 6:27

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

My focus needs to be on TODAY.
honestly, tomorrow is not promised – therefore, why do I waste energy worrying about tomorrow?

Choose ye this day….how to serve the Lord.

I was thinking about the 10 virgins that were called to wait for the bridegroom.
apparently, 5 of them took the time to PREPARE by obtaining extra oil. 5 did not. (Matthew 25)

They all fell asleep waiting for the Lord(bridegroom) to come.
they all heard the call – but the foolish were running out of oil.

Here is a lesson I want to dig deeper into someday.
When the foolish asked the wise to share their oil, THE WISE DID NOT DO SO! THEY DID NOT JEOPARDIZE THEIR READINESS FOR THE FOOLISH ONES!

The mercy in me wants to say “but they made a mistake! surely you can share a little!”
The server in my wants to say “it’s our duty to help out the brethern!”
The giver – well, the giver wants to give and give and give until my well has run dry.
Oh, there are parts of me that wants to say “you should have prepared!” or “if you had picked up a jar of oil, instead of the new eye shadow….” or “There is a lesson in this”

Somewhere in here is a truth – one that is not as goody goody and sugar sweet as love love love.
My relationship with Jesus Christ comes before anyone else!
Anything that takes me away from my relationship with Jesus, wears me out, leaves me too empty to stand in battle – that is something that is out to destroy me, or able to destroy me, and I could end up just like the foolish virgins that didn’t prepare!

During Y2K, there were many that were stockpiling things, along with guns to protect their families.
At that time, I stood up in a meeting of Christians, and asked how they were going to deal with starving neighbors coming to them for food. Their response was that they would shoot them. Kill to protect their families’ supplies. I could not swallow this. In fact, I stood up and said, ‘dont worry about yrou neighbors, the mormons have been saving up food so that they can bring in their neighbors and bring them into the flock. Far be it for Christians to serve the hungry and show them Jesus christ!’ Oddly enough, we were not invited back!

This has been my focus, to be PREPARED to help our neighbors when things get rough(and they are going to get rough).

A can of tuna is not the same as oil for my lamp that shines my light, the light of Jesus Christ in my heart. I need to separate the two.

Today, if you hear his voice – harden not your heart!
The oil is the word of God, hidden within my heart, that I would not sin against him.
In times of concentration camps, the word of God strengthened men and women.
Bonhoffer
Ten Booms
a story about men jailed, and each one quoted parts of the book of John, and between them all, they were able to compile the whole book.

Today, if you hear his voice – harden not your heart!
The relationship with Jesus Christ cannot be taken away from those that hold it dear.
During the first century, as Christians were being slaughtered, one man stood and stated that God had not abandoned him, how then could he abandon God in the face of death.
Foxes book of Martyrs tells much about those that gave their lives – and right up until they entered into the rest of the Lord, they were declaring Jesus Christ.
Stephen – the first martyr – preached the Bible from Genesis to the current revelation as he was being stoned.
The relationship, with the Word of God – will keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Actually, that scripture is Philipians 4:7

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It’s interesting – right before Phil 4:7, Phil 4:6 says this:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Back to Matthew 6:27-34 – focus on today – there’s enough evil in today to deal with. Paul tells us how to ‘not be anxious’ in his letter to the Phillipians – take everything to the Lord in prayer.

How can that bring peace?
Because we have a high priest (Jesus Christ) that knows us well, and has made a way into the throne room for us.
Heb 4:

16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Coming boldly unto the throne of grace requires the relationship with Jesus Christ. That relationship grows through prayer(time with Him) and study of the Word(getting to know Him).

We can do all things through Jesus Christ – including taking on the evils of this day – TODAY.

One other thought about the oil – often oil is a symbolism of the Holy Spirit.
I belive that being filled with the Holy Spirit is a second and separate invitation. Once saved, the Holy Spirit comes and abides with you. When invited in, the Holy spirit abides within, and the power of the Godhead dwells within the believer. Could it be that the foolish virgins were those that walked with Christ, but never asked the Holy Spirit in, in order to be empowered from on high? I would not give up my relationship with the Holy spirit within me for anything. And, if the indwelling of the Holy spirit is the only thing to keep me until the end, I can only offer it to others to go get it, I cannot give of mine to them.

It is the very endwelling of the holy spirit that keeps my heart burning for the Lord, learning of the Lord, and shining a light to the world.

I do like how Christian Apologetics explains the Baptism of the Holy Spirit, with wise counsel and warnings of the possible division.

WISDOM
Whatever way the oil is understood, relationship, word, baptism, it is crucial to understand that preparation is necessary to awaite the bridegroom. To apply my heart to wisdom, I must cherish my relationship with God the Father,through Jesus Christ, and by the Power of the Holy spirit. I must appreciate the importance of His Word to strengthen me to not sin. I must not grieve the Holy Spirit that dwells within, and learn to listen to that still small voice.

TODAY if you hear his voice, harden NOT your hearts!

Lord God, I come into your throne room, asking for grace and mercy that I would make sure that my lamp is full, and that I have reserves to handle whatever comes. I thank you that I only have to deal with today. Yesterday I put under the blood of Jesus, so that I can start new this morning, with your mercies. Tomorrow I put into your hand, and I thank you that you are already there. This is the day that the Lord has made – I will rejoice and be glad in in.

Me and My Love

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I want to thank Blue Letter Bible and Bible Gateway for the ability to search the Bible online.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries

What’s up?

It’s February – 2015…what’s up world?
Life has been crazy here at the WildBerry Patch.
January was spent at a wonderful Residential Program called LaAmistad.
I have spent January there for the residential program, and I have spent February, until next Monday, in the Partial Hospitalization Program.

Mental Health – Web MD gives a huge overview.

What is my problem?
I’m human.
But mostly, because of how I grew up – traumas in my life – and genetic make up from my parents – I have mental illness. actually – illnesses.

I would love to be so vulnerable and transparent as to list all of the illness I have – but, one is a biggie – and is something that many of our returning Veterans have as well for different reasons – PTSD.

What is PTSD?
Again – Web MD comes to the rescue with the definition of PTSD.

PTSD is classified as:

Acute stress disorder: symptoms occurring within four weeks of the trauma.
Acute PTSD: symptoms lasting three months or less.
Delayed onset PTSD: symptoms appear six months after the trauma.
Chronic PTSD: symptoms lasting more than three months.

Why don’t you just ‘choose joy’ Christi?
Why not just forgive and forget, Christi?

Repeated trauma changes the brain chemistry – and little road maps are created in the brain – and it becomes trained to react to things that remind you of the initial trauma. These are called triggers. Someone with PTSD did not choose to have to react to triggers – but they do.

Wounded Warriors do.
Rape Victims do.
Domestic Violence victims do.
I do.

Yes, there are many verse in the Bible that are comforting to the abused.

Isaiah 40:31 – They that wait in the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
hey shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.

Psalm 23 is very good:

verse 4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me

And, God promises to be with us:

Ps 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

And yet – we struggle. But the Christian has another source:

http://youtu.be/L5bLvVjJ4MA

So – through my storms this last three months, I’ve been learning to praise IN the storms. If you, or anyone you know, is having trouble with depression, dark thoughts, dangerous thoughts – seek help.
Suicide LifeLine Online

or call:
1-800-273-TALK(8255)

And know this – Jesus will be with you in this storm – and, if you need me to – send me an email – and we’ll talk.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Naomi’s Heart Mission

Sponsor a Child

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Where art thou, Christi?

so many things I planned to do – and then, things came up.
and then, I rewrote what I planned to do to take those things into consideration – and then, things came up.

Sometimes stupid stuff, like today – I left the toilet without making sure it flushed completely, and our whole RV is flooded – water running freely from 11 p, to 8 am. This was not what I planned for today.

Last Tuesday, I was planning to walk my 10k steps a day – to keep up what I had done at camp…but, I shut my foot in the car door – yes, I had to open the door to get it out.
Apparently, feet were not made for being shut into such tight spaces without at least being bruised.

Anyway – for various reasons, specifically my eyes, I did not start the Isaiah course I planned – and therefore – it is not here.

Because of a detox program by my doctor – I stopped the Plexus stuff – and therefore, stopped writing up those thoughts – though, I will be writing up some health journal stuff to bring this up to date. I have stopped the Plexus – because I don’t need it. But, that means, I haven’t kept up my health journal.

Because of travel – and only having a tablet that does not seem to put my blogs in the right place, and is not as convenient to type on for long thoughtful things(and, I can’t switch back and forth to have blue letter bible, google and photos easily added) – I haven’t kept up anything here!

Oh, the art? yeah – it’s sitting on the easels – untouched.

In two weeks, I have surgery on my neck. Am I scared? well, let’s just say that I feel like I am choosing the lesser of two evils. And, I’m not looking forward to it, so I’m not thinking about it, I’m thinking about November…not October 13!!!

And my mental situation? This week, I start dealing with past wounds and memories – to try to eliminate the triggers and heal – and, this is the scariest thing of all.
I think I’d rather go back and let the Navy do exploratory surgery on my back than go through this wound exploration – a lot is in journals – that I refuse to read – and now, I’m going to be discussing it with a therapist for an hour, after an hour of driving, and then, an hour of driving home.

My eyes keep dripping…my heart keeps racing…and nothing that I had planned is going to happen – and while this should be the place that I put all those wonderful no fear scriptures and memos and thoughts and sayings – right now – my mind is flooded – as I said, so flooded that my eyes are leaking.

But, if there is anyone that reads this – this is my short explanation as to where I’ve been and where I am.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Naomi’s Heart Mission

Sponsor a Child

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Oil of Joy

This is a very simple posting of an old Bible Study I did in 2003.
This is a perfect statement for my Joy Journey right now.

Oil of Joy – 2-13-2003 ©Mary Christine Wildman

Joy is a choice.

With my past experience with abuse, which plunged me into deep depression, medically declared not recoverable, as well as a mother with Bi-Polar/Manic- Depressive, and a daughter diagnosed as the same, as well as suicides running through the family spirit….Joy has been an elusive concept at times. I don’t take joy for granted. I respect the warning signs of depression.

It’s a choice? None of the above was a choice! What choice do I have?

Psal 16:6 (KJS) The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant [places]; yea, I have a goodly heritage.
7 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
8 I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence [is] fulness of joy; at thy right hand [there are] pleasures for evermore.

I can choose to trust in the Lord, look at what He has done for me, seek His counsel, hearken to His words, bless Him, set Him before me, and to stay in His presence, at His right hand.

Isai 61:3 (KJS) To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

I can choose to go to Him. He is glorified when I allow him to give me the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise of the spirit of heaviness…He wants to have the glory of being my joy! He knows that I am mourning, and has prepared a solution for it…before I was even conceived!

Hebr 12:12 (KJS) Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

My hands hang down when I am discouraged, my knees are feeble when I am afraid…..and then Lord says:

Nehe 8:10 (KJS) Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared:for [this] day [is] holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

He is my strength! If I let Him be my joy…then I will be strong..in Him!

2Tim 1:7 (KJS) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

He can calm my mind…when I am depressed, I do not have a sound mind…I am fearing…and that is not of Him! If I ask, He will give me the mind of Christ…and renew my mind. (Phil 2:5, Rom 12:2) He tells me to

1Pet 1:13 (KJS) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

Last week, I was overcome with discouragement…when all in the house were sick or not up to par, and the plan wasn’t working, and there was so much to do. I had finally, taken a walk with the Lord…and had started to pull out of the dumps…but even the work of Saturday, the hugeness of it, without really even touching what I needed to get done for school brought me to my knees in tears. I went to my prayer closet (bathroom) and cried.
Where is the joy? And He gently reminded me that joy is a choice…a choice of where I spend my time, where I place my heart, where I walk, and with whom I talk. In HIS presence is fullness of joy! I had been too busy doing what I thought He wanted me to do, that I hadn’t been with Him.

When I was marching around the house, thinking on the sins that were attacking our family, I had great joy…..from the presence of the King.

My prayer is
(Acts 17:27) That in Him I would live, and move and have my being.
That I would walk after the Spirit (Rom 8), (Gal 5:16-25) and live in the spirit-
Gala 5:25 (KJS) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

This is part of the Big Plan that God has for my family…

Jude 1:24 (KJS) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, 25 To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

What a Week – GRACE ABOUNDS!

In the last two weeks we have gone from settled into our trailer(RV) life in Spring, Texas, to wanting to possibly move it to Katy, Texas, to rethinking everything in our lives financially, and remembering our first desire of our life….to live debt free in glory to the Lord, and honoring His command to owe no man anything but to love him.

So…here’s the progression:

June 1-15, safely secure in our current situation – living in an RV in Spring, TX
June 16-17, find out about a new RV park in Katy,TX and discuss moving there!
June 17-24, financial digging – Katy does not make sense $$$, but, what about our desire to be debt free? (rent the same, studio +$150, drive rougher)
June 22-23, hotel suite in Austin – room, room, room- even Gabriel seems happier
June 24- Looking at Wildwood Forest Apartments – love, love, love! (two patios, facing lake, East and South sun, a studio 3x the size, for the same rent as RV lot and Studio/Storage)
June 25 – apply for apartment (called PPL RV sellers, they want the trailer by Saturday, free detailing, for their 4th of July sale! very excited)
June 27 – accepted – put in to move before July 1st – avoid rent at RV park
June 29 – move in and empty trailer (added to the going away party for those leaving for the Katy RV park – some day in the future, we leave tomorrow) And God blessed with a cloudy day and less heat!
June 30 – empty trailer – and drive through driving rain storms down to PPL (appraiser declares it EXCELLENT!)
July 1 – no trailer, no bed, no living room furniture – but we are in this beautiful apartment, in this beautiful complex, in obedience to the Lord.

We are praying that the trailer sells quickly, so that we are out of debt…AND with $1,000 extra that we may use purchase a bed.
But, God is not done with us yet!

On top of all of this provision…we are on the third floor.
In January, I was in a wheelchair!
I am able to walk up and down these stairs – yesterday, I did it twice!
AND walked a mile around this beautiful property!

On June 13th, I was rearended…went to the ER, and we were unable to find the police report until a week ago.
The insurance agent set up with me to meet on Monday, July 2…since we were moving.
On top of giving me the $120 out of pocket expenses, and setting aside the amounts to cover the medical – SHE GAVE ME $1000 FOR MY INCONVENIENCE!

The Trailer wasn’t even on the lot at PPL, and GOD had given us the $1000 for the bed!!!

Last night, we were discussing whether or not we would use one of the credit cards to purchase a mattress “just in case”
What were we thinking? Oh US of LITTLE FAITH!!!
We have now gotten totally free of the debt, and things we bought with debt because we wouldn’t wait upon the Lord…and before the trailer is even set onto the lot for the sale, we are talking about putting things back on a credit card?
AND IN THE FACE OF GOD PROVIDING TWO WEEKS EARLIER WITH A ROMANS 8:28 TYPE OCCURRENCE!

PRAISE GOD FOR HIS GRACE ABOUNDING IN OUR LIVES!
God is so quick to forgive, so gracious to allow us to be human, and to draw us nearer and nearer to HIM!
We both decided that WE WOULD NOT GO BACK INTO DEBT TO PURCHASE THINGS BEFORE THE VERY THING WE ARE SELLING TO GET OUT OF DEBT IS LISTED TO BE SOLD!
In fact –
We both recommitted to:

Romans 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

These weeks have been full of roller coaster rides, death of visions, renewal of visions and commitments, and connecting to each other to refine OUR vision of OUR life for Christ Jesus.
We have had to make some hard choices in order to choose Jesus instead of OUR plans.
The joy that we feel, even in this empty apartment, is indescribable!
Grace is definitely abounding to us!

Here’s some fun photos – and a youtube video!

Bye Bye Trailer, dropping it off at PPL

WildWood Forest – our apartment – top floor on the right

WildWood Forest

WildWood Forest

The fountain outside our apartment at night

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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28 DAYS OF GRACE – DAY 22! A NEW DAY!

Jim is doing a Level Up program through Nerd fitness….
and today’s post is AMAZING!

But it’s copy righted and for a private paid for group(I get bonus because I’m Jim’s wife).
But this is a quote that Steve quoted in this post:

Victor Frankl, author of the absolutely heartbreaking and yet incredibly positive “A Man’s Search For Meaning” once said:

“Those who have a ‘why’ can bear with almost any ‘how.”

Here’s my response:

Yes yes.yes…I’ve wanted a why for my whole life, and for our married life!

WHY?

and then, the what and how fall into place, or at least the what nots are more easily recognizable!

I’ve always had a WHY that pertains to EVERY Christian:

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Eph 2:10

walk in good works to glorify God!

WHICH GOOD WORKS?????

Obviously, the good works that ALL Christians are supposed to walk in…..
The Fruit of the Spirit – Ephesians 5, Galatians 5

The Number one Fruit – Love – John 13:34

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

The Whole Law – Matt 22:37-40

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

BUT WHAT DOES THAT SAY TO ME, SPECIFICALLY?
That gets into talents, hiding them, or investing them…

I wrote about that before…but the WHY for how to live, for me, is to glorify GOD!
The HOW and WHAT is all about investing the talents God has given ME to use for HIM.

And, there is another thought hidden in here for me….
“Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF.”

I HAVE SPENT MANY MANY YEARS NOT LOVING MYSELF!

Not taking care of my own health has been a self hatred behavior.

These 28 days of Grace…which was what I was begging and praying for to get through this Yeast Free program…has not just turned my body and health around…it has turned my heart and mind around.

I need to LOVE ME because HE FIRST LOVED ME!
And if GOD has decided to LOVE ME the way HE does…Who am I to argue?

Good food
Good exercise
Good prayer
Good fellowship….
Good life!

I CHOOSE LIFE!
God life!
And I pray that my life will glorify Him, as I learn my WHY, WHAT and HOW to walk in good works!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

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Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

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28 days of Grace – Day 13

What holds you back?
Why don’t you move forward?
Why do you hold back from doing your best?

I don’t have any answers for this one….since, I have just completed the 60 day challenge with T-Tapp, and I am struggling with the idea that I held back.
Could I have done more floor exercises? Sure.
Could I have eaten better the first 6 weeks? Sure.
Could I have been more consistent with what I knew to do? Of course.

The question is, did I take every moment, and make the choice to move forward? Fail forward if I needed to?
I don’t know.

Life is made up of choices…and we are the composite of all of our choices.
We are not in control of what others do to us, but we are in control of our reactions and replies.

The past 6 weeks, my husband did a challenge of his own.
Here is his blog post:

ON GOALS, CHALLENGES, AND DOING THE LITTLE THINGS,
by Jim Wildman
As I’ve said before, I frequent the Nerdfitness online community as “wildross”. Every couple of months the community runs a “6 week challenge”. Participants post 3 fitness goals and 1 life goal, then track their progress. In the most recent challenge, and video game system for scoring points was added (which I’ve ignored). The community is divided into “Guilds” depending on what your fitness focus is. Mine is weightlifting, so I’m a “Warrior”. My most recent 6 week challenge thread is here. As part of this 6 week challenge, the guild leaders proposed we try to lift the weight of a loaded space shuttle (4,000,000+ pounds) before the Enterprise was set on the deck of the USS Intrepid on June 6th. To track our progress, they published a Google spreadsheet and divided us into 2 teams.

Right off the bat I saw that keeping track of total weight lifted instead of just repetitions and sets added a different flavor to the competition. All lifts were counted at full weight, with pullups counting at 90% of bodyweight and pushups counting at 60% of bodyweight. I started out doing between 15 and 20,000 pounds of lifting during a workout.

On May 8th, I proposed a challenge to do 30,000# of weights in one session (no allowance for bodyweight exercises). That seemed like a real stretch goal to me. Two guys immediately did over 40,000#. It took about a week and I did it too. Not as hard as I thought at all. One competitor proposed a 100,000# workout. (No one has done that yet, but I believe I can with a bit more conditioning.)

As the challenge went on, I constantly had to revise my goals. 30,000# in a workout became my “standard”. I did it for 2 weeks straight, 5 days a week, with a max of 61,000# on the last day. I thought I would lift a total of 250,000# in the 6 weeks, then 300,000#, then 500,000#, then 700,000#… I ended up lifting over 970,000# of weights in the 6 weeks (including body weight exercises).

So what did I learn from all this lifting?? Maybe nothing new, but lots of basic things got solidly reinforced.

Consistency matters: going to the gym every day (or as my goal was, 5 days a week) adds up. A number or goal that seems impossible is attainable in steps.
Little things matter: the team I was not on “won” the challenge, mostly because several of the women realized that the pushups were “easy” and added up. One did 1,000 pushups in the last weekend (having never done more then a couple dozen in a day before); 10 or 20 at a time. Another did 500. Several of the men did as well.
Success breeds success: once we knocked off the 30,000# goal, we knew we could go much higher and were encouraged to do so. Once the women realized that they could do a set of 10 pushups every half hour, all day, it became possible to do it several days in a row.
To accomplish big things, you need to do a few little things well: The basis for my average of over 30,000# a day is my ability to do over head presses and bench presses. I can do 10 sets of 10 with a considerable amount of weight, every day. I would fill out the workout with other exercises, but those 2 were the base.
Lay the ground work by doing the little things every day: Early on in the challenge, I often thought about doing pushups before bedtime or before I took a shower, but I didn’t do it. 7 pushups a day would have put me over 1,000,000# for the challenge. But I didn’t know that until it was too late to make up the difference.
You have to use all your resources to do big things: I can’t lift 30,000# in a session with just my arms, or in just one exercise (at least not yet). But I have a number of exercises that use different sets of muscles that I can alternate. By varying the routine, I use the energy stored in all my muscles and get more done.
This one is old…slow and steady wins the race: Big and flashy wears you out.

So where does this leave me? Very encouraged at what I can do physically. Very humbled that I have not applied these simple principles to other areas of my life. I’ve sold myself short in many areas because I’ve swung for the fences (big splash) or thought a particular goal was beyond me. Or as the prophet Isaiah said it “Line upon line, precept upon precept”

So what big goal can you break down into little bit size pieces??

GREAT QUESTION!!!!
I’ve been held back because I could only see doing a Triathlon…not walking 1/4 mile 4 times a day.
I could only see doing the Full 15 minute Basic Workout for T-Tapp – not doing the 9 minute chair workout, twice.
I can only see the whole book written, not writing one chapter at a time.

I have been held back by seeing the hugeness of the task, and not breaking it into smaller bites.
Our daughter, Faith, memorized a poem from Shel Silverstein’s book, Where the Sidewalk Ends, and I can hear her recite it in my ear today:

Melinda Mae
Have your heard of tiny Melinda Mae,
Who ate a monstrous whale?
She thought she could,
She said she would,
So she started right in at the tail.

And everyone said, “You’re much too small,”
But that didn’t bother Melinda at all.
She took little bites and she chewed very slow,
Just like a good girl should…

…And in eighty-nine years she ate that whale
Because she said she would!

I pray that it doesn’t take me 89 years, but thanks to Jim, and several ladies I will be praising in one of my future blogs, I am making steps forward.
Here’s my favorite small steps song:

The goals Jim’s team made seemed impossible when they made them.
I do have to keep my health limitations in mind….but, I need to give myself grace, I need to look at things in smaller bites, shorter steps…one step at a time!
Thanks, Jim!

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5:1-2

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Or sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!