Today – my writing turned out a prayer, of sorts. Maybe, this will help anyone else that might read it. As I write with the 750words, I’m seeing the Lord’s focus in my heart.
Lord, I need eyes to see.
oh my – that’s a story in and of itself.
a lesson.
i am a life lesson.
my life is full of lessons to be shared.
Lord,
i want to shine my light,
i want to share my lessons,
i need your guidance, and yes,
i need support from Jim.
i don’t know how i’m going to do this.
i need you to provide for the cleaning,
and some of the other things that suck the energy out of and cause pain in my body,
and then, to help me to energize and support my own body so that
i can positively affect the body of Christ.
Christi’s body supporting Christ’s body.
That’s an interesting concept.
Oh, i want to go to school…
i want to go to college – bible college!
That’s probably never going to happen,
but I wanted you, Lord to know.
i want to study your word under teachers that you have anointed.
You have anointed me?
well, I guess I’m in the same mess as several of those in the bible that felt that they did not have what it took to do what you wanted them to do.
Thank you for not asking me to lay down, naked, playing with toy soldiers.
I’ll try to listen before you have to talk to me via the donkey!
Thy will be done.
you are my God – and i yield to you, even as I complain.
i know that You are,
You will be, and
You have it all under control
i know that You have my story written, and
if i just follow the steps you put before me,
i will never be lost.
i love You.
~me
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission.
The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media! I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
Before we left for Atlanta and Stone Mountain, I was preparing my art materials in order to take them with us. One of my tools is a camera. The preparation was so that I could utilize one of the gifts that God has placed within me.
This is the meditation that came about as I thought about painting as worship. It also includes a meditation after I lost my camera.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
I have been told that I have a gift when it comes to art.
I have not been so sure, until folks that do art are doing things that amaze me, and tell me that my work, without training, is amazing.
I have denied what I have – and therefore, I have not used it for any type of worship consistently.
The parable of the talents is very scary when you look at the one that buried his talent…sent into outer darkness.
In Lukes version, they were brought and killed.
That’s a high price for hiding your talent!
Like forgive as we are forgiven…if you don’t forgive, God will not forgive you.
Matthew 6:14-15(Right after the Lord’s Prayer!)
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Mercy is how we are given forgiveness. Deuteronomy 4:31
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Psalm 103
Of David.
1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—
9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
To not give forgiveness when it’s been freely given is to say that I have more right to be wounded than God!
To not be merciful when I’ve been given so much mercy is to cheapen that gift.
To not give grace through forgiveness is to hide that gift of God under a bushel.
Matthew 5:16
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works (for which we are created) and glorify your father in heaven.
This is how we turn our gifts back to God as worship.
So, on October 6, 2016, I chose to walk out to a pavilion, carrying my painting supplies, in order to worship God in the nature, and to paint as worship to Him!
Update; three days later –
That day, I took photos in order to paint after leaving the area. Once we arrived in Ohio from Atlanta, I searched for that camera, and it is no where to be found.
I fell prey to the enemy telling me that I was not worthy to be an artist for Christ. And, he’s right. I am not worthy.
I wrote this on Facebook:
I was so excited about painting at Stone Mountain.
I was so excited about my first plein air painting.
I was content to finish it with the photograph on my camera.
I was looking forward to painting Stone Mountain from the photos I was able to take as we left the park.
I am devastated to realize that the camera is missing – and unless it shows up in Jim Wildman’s computer bag(no reason for it to be there}, it is gone. Last known place is the rental car we turned in at Atlanta.
Even worse? I have no idea what other photos are on the camera,
And, today, I will not be able to take photos of our grandson playing football.
I’m feeling very stupid, careless, and a hundred other negative feelings about myself. The camera is part of my ‘job’ tools. If Jim Wildman were to lose his laptop, a composer lose his sheet music in progress, or a dancer lose her shoes – it would be similar in devastation.
I’m so sad. and the worst part is that I wanted photos of the grandkids.
I am not worthy – except that I have embraced Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to bear the name of Christ – as in Christian. IN HIM, I am counted as worthy to be a standard bearer, an ambassador for him. The enemy always forgets that part when attacking me! or any of us!
It always seems to be that once I commit to doing something for the Lord, something happens to undermine it. The other interesting part of this is that I felt that I needed to defend my discouragement by pointing out the issues like not being able to photograph our grandson. That was important, but, I have hidden my talents for so many years that I was really thrilled to pull them out and try to let them shine. I had a phone to take photos of our grandson. And they turned out pretty well! In my own lack of worth, I felt that I was not even good enough consider the loss of my camera for the art’s sake as important.
Was God surprised about the camera? Of course not.
Can we replace the camera? Yes – though we’d rather not spend that money right now.
Does God forgive me my carelessness? Of course.
Do I? That is a different story! Probably a different post!
Did God stop loving me or call me an unprofitable servant? Of course NOT!
Do I? call myself an unprofitable servant? It’s been known to happen.
There is something about learning to see myself with Jesus’s eyes.
This song is for me and my friend Shirley –
The upside is that Jim will be stopping by home, and coming back with our other camera, and we will be back in Atlanta before I return home. We will drive back to Stone Mountain, and by God’s grace and mercy, snap a few more photos so that I can share the glory of God!
No matter how dismal the situation seems, if my heart is focused upon serving the Lord Jesus, He will make all things work together for the good!
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
Preparation?
First – know that you are called and have a calling! that means preparing with a relationship with the Creator God through His son, Jesus Christ.
Second – have the tools ready, available, and portable to go when and where you are called. Prepare with packing and packaging!
Third – Remember that our enemy is a roaring lion, prowling about looking for whom he can destroy. Prepare for the battles!
Fourth, and this may be the most important – prepare my heart by hiding God’s word within!
I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my life. Once I have the new photos of Stone Mountain, I will post those here, and maybe even the finished painting!
Me and My Love
Thanks for joining me in this journey, In His hands and under His wings, ~Christi Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or choose to LIKE me on facebook, or other social media! I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here is one that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.
Do you remember the commercials years ago where everyone wanted to be like Michael Jordan?
The Original:
The Remix:
Ok, what does that have to do with the Bible? Or a 50 year old, 5’2″, 250 pound me?
This quote:
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~Michael Jordan
or this quote:
If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. ~Michael Jordan
Michael was looked over in his sophomore year for basketball. He was 5’11’ and deemed too short to play.(Wikipedia) He eventually grew to 6’6″.
I’ve read that he spent hours practicing foul shots. I can’t find that right now, but the point is, Michael Jordan is what he is because of talent AND tough practice. And he was practicing before anyone even though the was good enough.
Real sports practices are tough. Just ask any football player doing “three-a-day’s” in August heat! My husband says they come home beat…then turn around and go back. Why? Because they want to be the best.
I know the girls I coached in soccer didn’t like the running around the fields, after school…even in the cold and wet. But it paid off in our 1-8 record! Ok, so I was given the unwanted team, the under-dogs, under trained, under provided for, and made fun of at every game. We won our last game…against the top team. Why? Because we practiced. We trained. We talked soccer before the game, during the game, after the game, and of course, at practices. Those girls were never so happy, as when they were jumping up and down, on that cold day, having won, their one and only game. Priceless. No one grew up to be a Mia Hamm, but I pray that victory stayed with those girls forever.
Exodus 31:1-5Then the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts–to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship.
God chose someone – filled them with the Spirit of God – to be creative, to have talent.
Ex 31:6 Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan, to help him. Also I have given skill to all the craftsmen to make everything I have commanded you:
KJV says it this way: And I, behold, I have given with him Aholiab, the son of Ahisamach, of the tribe of Dan: and in the hearts of all that are wise hearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee;
Then Moses went back and said – Hey Bez and Aholiab…God says you know what you’re doing, so you’re gonna oversee and build all the stuff for the Holiest place on earth!(Ex 35:30-35)
Who, ME? God called me out by name?Um, people have died when He called out their names!
The creative force upon the water in Gen 1:2 was poured out upon men.
Ex 36:2(NIV) says this Then Moses summoned Bezalel and Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the Lord had given ability and who was willing to come and do the work.
God even included those that were willing to do the work….just hold that thought.
God put within Bezaleel and Oholiab(Aholiab) special wisdom by His Spirit to be able to do special tasks for HIS Kingdom. Skills, ability and knowledge have been placed within these two for the glory of God. But where had they been practicing these skills? In Egypt!
Matthew Henry doesn’t believe that any Israelites would have been used to perform this special work in Egypt…so, therefore, it was a supernatural impartation. But when Aaron created the golden calf, he had some sort of engraving tools and knew how to do so. So, in my humble opinion, I believe that these men learned their skills at the hands of the Egyptians, who would not have desired to do such lowly tasks as creating the furnishings for themselves. They had slaves to do that. This does NOT deny the fact that giftings are imparted by the Holy Spirit. Only that some giftings come from the heat and pressures of life.
In Germany, the Jews continued to do the special crafts under the iron fists of the Nazis. In America, slaves did the elaborate sewing for the women of the plantations. In Africa, the slaves work with the diamonds from the mines. In a German cell, Dietrich Bonhoffer wrote his beautiful memoirs.
WE are the diamonds that God is working on. WE are HIS workmanship, WE are His crowning glory of creation. A naive person cannot be considered wise, because they are prevented from knowing the wisdom that comes from knowledge and choices. A diamond does not become a diamond, unless it goes through heat, fire, and pressure.
My husband has been reading a book called Outliers:The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. The book is about how talent really doesn’t matter as much as putting forth the time and effort. What he’s shared with me has been very interesting. Many of the people we consider greats in our time were people with the time, the opportunity, and the willingness to apply their aptitude to something, and it later turned out great. Bill Gates is one example.
Through the years of being a slave to Pharoah, Bezaleel learned something, and when the time came, God called upon him and said “build my tabernacle”. And he did. And he oversaw and taught others to do the same. The sad thing? Bezaleel never entered the promised land, and of course, never saw the Temple(built much, much later).
I have a friend who has suffered with many things in her life. She is an amazing artist. I know that there were years where she was housebound, a slave to her physical issues. On Feb 6, 2011, she has an art show. God has blessed her with talent, and I’m sure that her time in that slavery had an impact on her art.
Beethoven was deaf.
Michelangelo went nearly blind painting the Sistine Chapel.
Though my struggles with slavery to trauma, tragedy, and terror, I learned to paint. People have said that God has given me this talent, and I assume that would indicate God putting His Spirit upon me.
I can’t jump like Mike.
I can’t run like Eric Liddell.
I can’t kick like Mia Hamm.
I can’t write music like Handel, Mozart or Beethoven.
I can’t paint upside down like Michaelangelo, and
I am not a skilled scientist like Leonardo DaVinci.
But I can do what God has given me.
Matthew 25 starts with the tale of the foolish virgins. They all had oil to begin with, but five foolish ones didn’t do what it took to have oil to take them all the way through the night.
Then, the parable of the talents. Each person was given something, and told to make something of it before the master returned. No one knew when the master would return.
When the lacking virgins returned, they were late to the wedding, and the bridegroom said: But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.(Mat 25:12)
moral? Matt 25:13Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.
What happened with the servant that just hid his master’s coin in the ground?
Matt 25:26 His lord answered and said unto him, [Thou] wicked and slothful servant,
Matt 25:28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give [it] unto him which hath ten talents.
Matt 25:30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
That is a high price to pay for not cultivating the talents that God has given me. Did you hold the thought about those willing to do the work? Here’s where that comes in. It is my heart’s desire to hear a different phrase from my master when He comes.
Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.(Matt 25:23)
The ones that did the work were blessed AND ENTERED INTO THE MASTER’S/BRIDEGROOMS JOY!
Bezaleel died with the others in the 40 years wandering. He never entered into the physical promised land. I don’t know if he’s in heaven or not, but we know that only two lived to go into the promised land – Joshua and Caleb. I can’t imagine working with my hands to create the home of God here on earth, and not following through to get to see the promised land. Well, actually, yes, I can.
I have hidden the talents that God has given me for long enough. I painted one painting that stands out, and then I basically stopped.
This year is about coming out of the darkness, and bringing things into the Light. But, like Mike & Eric Liddell, I need to acknowledge that God has given me gifts. AND like Mike and Eric, I need to practice the talent God has given me. I believe that Bezaleel was chosen because he was given a talent by God, and he had practiced it, and was skilled when the time came to create for the temple. I believe that every one of us has a talent. What’s your talent? Is it still hiding under a bushel?
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only Wise God our Savior be glory and honor, dominion and power both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25