Tag Archives: walking

Oil of Joy

This is a very simple posting of an old Bible Study I did in 2003.
This is a perfect statement for my Joy Journey right now.

Oil of Joy – 2-13-2003 ©Mary Christine Wildman

Joy is a choice.

With my past experience with abuse, which plunged me into deep depression, medically declared not recoverable, as well as a mother with Bi-Polar/Manic- Depressive, and a daughter diagnosed as the same, as well as suicides running through the family spirit….Joy has been an elusive concept at times. I don’t take joy for granted. I respect the warning signs of depression.

It’s a choice? None of the above was a choice! What choice do I have?

Psal 16:6 (KJS) The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant [places]; yea, I have a goodly heritage.
7 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
8 I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence [is] fulness of joy; at thy right hand [there are] pleasures for evermore.

I can choose to trust in the Lord, look at what He has done for me, seek His counsel, hearken to His words, bless Him, set Him before me, and to stay in His presence, at His right hand.

Isai 61:3 (KJS) To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

I can choose to go to Him. He is glorified when I allow him to give me the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise of the spirit of heaviness…He wants to have the glory of being my joy! He knows that I am mourning, and has prepared a solution for it…before I was even conceived!

Hebr 12:12 (KJS) Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

My hands hang down when I am discouraged, my knees are feeble when I am afraid…..and then Lord says:

Nehe 8:10 (KJS) Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared:for [this] day [is] holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

He is my strength! If I let Him be my joy…then I will be strong..in Him!

2Tim 1:7 (KJS) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

He can calm my mind…when I am depressed, I do not have a sound mind…I am fearing…and that is not of Him! If I ask, He will give me the mind of Christ…and renew my mind. (Phil 2:5, Rom 12:2) He tells me to

1Pet 1:13 (KJS) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

Last week, I was overcome with discouragement…when all in the house were sick or not up to par, and the plan wasn’t working, and there was so much to do. I had finally, taken a walk with the Lord…and had started to pull out of the dumps…but even the work of Saturday, the hugeness of it, without really even touching what I needed to get done for school brought me to my knees in tears. I went to my prayer closet (bathroom) and cried.
Where is the joy? And He gently reminded me that joy is a choice…a choice of where I spend my time, where I place my heart, where I walk, and with whom I talk. In HIS presence is fullness of joy! I had been too busy doing what I thought He wanted me to do, that I hadn’t been with Him.

When I was marching around the house, thinking on the sins that were attacking our family, I had great joy…..from the presence of the King.

My prayer is
(Acts 17:27) That in Him I would live, and move and have my being.
That I would walk after the Spirit (Rom 8), (Gal 5:16-25) and live in the spirit-
Gala 5:25 (KJS) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

This is part of the Big Plan that God has for my family…

Jude 1:24 (KJS) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, 25 To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

28 Days of Grace – day 19 – in the flow!

This morning, I woke up before Jim, and got dressed to take Gabriel out for his walk.
Before I was ready, Jim awakened, and offered to go with me.
As we walked, we made plans for the day.

I walked further than usual, and then asked him to walk up to the exercise room with me.
We walked in, and I tried my feet at the bicycle(first time in a year or more!) and he showed me a few exercises that I could get started with.
When we walked back, with full intentions of following OUR plans for the day, we bumped into some friends we hadn’t seen for a while.

These friends told us about a new RV park over near where I go for Physical Therapy. We had wanted a place in that area for any time that I might need extended care.
We decided to drive there right then.
But we were out of eggs, so we went to a restaurant, and I was able to order just eggs and meat for breakfast! And unsweet iced tea!

We were almost to this new RV park, and our friends from Katy(the area where the new RV park is located) called us.
These are the friends that we were not able to meet up with because of the car wreck. Their morning was open, for a change, and we were able to run on over.

Their daughter and son-in-law were home from Germany, and we were able to take everyone out for a welcome home lunch!
Kaley and Omar got to meet Gabriel.
We all got to sit and visit.
We went to a restaurant that I knew, and was able to ask for my salad per my needs, with a half a lemon and olive oil for dressing! And unsweet iced tea!

If Jim and I had not gone on the long walk, and had not walked into the exercise room, we would not have just bumped into our friends.
If Jim and I had not just taken off to head towards Katy, we would not have been in the position to say, Hey, let’s just drop by!
If Jim and I had not been open to the Spirit of the Lord moving across the waters of our plans, we would have missed the beautiful time we had with the Maben family!

Then,Jim was able to put together some of my meal plans for supper…for a wonderful turkey spaghetti, with black beans and grated goat Parmesan cheese! Absolutely delicious! Ah, but all out of unsweet iced tea! LOL!

Jim’s word? Serendipitous!
My word? Divine Intervention!

The truth? being filled with the grace of God to follow where HE leads!

Ps 37:23The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

Ps 121:8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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28 days of Grace – day 14 – Hope

I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I
hope.
Psalm 130:5 AMP

I have been participating in a 60 day challenge for T-Tapp. In these 60 days, a person agrees to only do T-Tapp, walking, and swimming.
They can also choose to do better eating, also supported by T-Tapp.
At the beginning and the end, you submit photos, and measurements, and an essay.

Here is my essay, part one.

My name is M. Christine Wildman. I am 51 and 3/4 years old, mother of five, and wife to a wonderful supportive man of 32 years. Joining this 60 day challenge was an act of desperation on my part, desperate to find some shred of hope that I would someday be able to have health. I didn’t expect any physical results, because I was not able to do many of the T-Tapp exercises. I wanted to see if the bloodwork levels would change. While there were several health issues that I listed on my application, my greatest goal was to obtain hope that these health issues could be helped.

My health history includes a total hysterectomy at age 29, at which time I was a 15% body fat, 115 pound, quite fit mother of five toddlers, aged 1-7 years. In the following 6 years, I had a surgery a year. That was over 20 years ago. At age 51, I had all but given up hope for the future.

At the beginning of 2008 I competed in 5k sports, though always in last place. In September of 2008, I either walked with a walker, or rode in a wheelchair. Many of my hip and lower back issues were discovered then. In November 2009, with the help of a Physical Therapist, Personal Trainer, and my faith in Jesus Christ, I was able to complete the three parts of a mini triathlon, while maintaining my sugar levels between the events. I was in training for a sprint triathlon February 2010, but other things got in the way.

In the 2 years since I have had 6 surgeries. Four were repairs on torn tendons in my ankles or feet. One was repair to torn tendons in my left elbow. The latest one was to repair and reconstruct my left ankle and ruptured Achilles Tendon. The history prior to these surgeries isn’t much better. Both knees have had meniscus repairs. I have inflamed SI joint issues and my hips tend to rotate out of alignment because of loose tendons. I have a broken back bone, with five lumbar vertebra that like to slip in and out. I was beginning to become concerned that I had some sort of tendon disease, even involving fingers that needed surgery.

At the beginning of this 60 day challenge, my weight was over 240 pounds. My body fat is embarrassing, even on x-rays! I could barely walk my dog, stairs were a chore to be avoided, and I was on the diabetic and cholesterol medicine. I have a service dog to alert to my blood sugar drops, help me with balance, and keep an eye (ear? nose?) on my heart rate. Staying awake all day was next to impossible, but sleeping at night was iffy, even if I forced myself to stay awake during the day.

During my previous foot surgeries, I was able to do T-Tapp MORE Chair, MORE in a CHAIR and even got to doing BWO in a chair! I did Awesome Legs to keep the swelling down, and skin brushing to help the lymphatic drain. As soon as I could put a little weight on my right foot, I worked on the 15 minute workout, OIP/HF/Elevators. I even did a workout with Kirsten while I was in a wheelchair. But these last two surgeries were harder on me, and I was in too much pain to bounce, press, push, or even butterfly. Actually, I was forbidden to butterfly for a while – I was not to fully extend my arms. I did try to keep up Awesome Legs and Skin Brushing. I couldn’t set things up for doing a video, so even the program that kept me active for the first four surgeries was not available to me this time. By now, depression was setting in, and with that depression, lethargy and apathy. I felt like I had a huge “I CAN’T” emblazoned on my forehead.

I am in a small, private email group with T-Tapp Trainer Trisch Richardson who cannot stop talking about T-Tapp and all the benefits. She urged me to join the challenge, and encouraged me that I could do it. Over the last two years, in the midst of all of these surgeries, I have been encouraged to have gastric by-pass surgery over and over. I was approved, but that surgery was delayed because of a third right ankle surgery. Then, because of the concern for the left Achilles tendon and ankle bone and eventual surgery, the by-pass surgery was delayed even longer. Once the Achilles was repaired the doctors started talking about Gastric ByPass again. They said I would not be able to heal with all this weight. Trisch spoke into my life with her focus that it’s not always about weight – but about health! “Less is More!”, “Teresa says…..”, and multiple other T-Tapp quotes that can be read all through the website, forum and the book! After more than two years, she convinced me to try the challenge, just to see that “Yes, I Can!”

Part Two coming next.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

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Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

28 Days of Grace – day 7

Yes, day 6 is missing….it’s sitting in it’s draft position because we had a wonderful day yesterday with a new church and a new group of people.
that post will be coming(just out of order)

Today, I woke up feeling great!
Nice, since this is DAY 7 of the YF diet…no symptoms.
I was realizing – I hadn’t taken Robaxin or Mobic to sleep for several nights! That IS a big change.
That means, no muscle spasms and no pain…at least not that I thought would keep me up!

Here’s another PRAISE!
I walked down the outside steps like a non handicapped gimp! as in, using my left foot with full motion and strength!

This morning my friend and I walked Gabriel 1.11 miles.
By the program I used to track it, we did it in…35 minutes….but we stopped to talk with friends for a few minutes, and Gabe kept slowing us down. On Monday, he has to smell all the smells from all the dogs that stayed in the RV park that weekend…no walking along on Monday!
That to say, I may have actually walked 2 mph!
and I don’t hurt!

What if, by choosing to take care of my body, my body is able to start taking care of itself????
By nourishing my body with GOOD things, everything is able to work together!

The Body of Christ is the same!

Eph 4:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Huh????

NIV From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Everyone in the Body of Christ is needed in order to grow and build itself up in love!

1 Cor 12:12 For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also [is] Christ.

Last night’s study was on 1 Peter 4:7-11

1 Pet 4:10
As every man hath received the gift,
[even so] minister the same one to another,
as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

Each person has received a gift – a job to do – and we need to recognize that this gift, this job, is in essence, the GRACE of GOD!
We must be good stewards of this GRACE of GOD!

NIV says it this way:

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.

I have a saying when I offer something to someone, and they try to refuse it:
“Do you really want to steal my blessing?”
Why does someone refuse a gift? Pride? false humility? fear of obligation? Socially expected response?
But, it prevents the giver from enjoying the blessing of giving!

Last night, I saw the other aspect, the other side.
I have gifts that I have held inside because of fear – fear of rejection, ridicule, or failure.
Nah, I say it’s because I’m not ready, I’m not good enough, I’m not needed, or whatever false humility statement fits the bill.

I have buried these gifts, and kept them from being shared with others…
I have prevented others from receiving the GRACE of GOD that HE planted in me, in order that I would walk in good works, and bless others, to the GLORY OF HIS NAME!!!

That’s like burying your hand in the freezer because you don’t want to seem prideful that it is pretty….or something like that.
Oh, I know…it’s like having a surgery that removes parts of the body, and sends other parts reeling trying to make up the difference.
No matter that the removed part was going to destroy my life…the after affects caused my physical body to be ravaged.
My body didn’t have an extra that could step in…though my Thyroid and Adrenals tried to…they just couldn’t keep up.

In the Body of Christ, God is not going to let His body suffer and not move forward, but those that try to fill in the gaps of others burying their gifts can be burned out.
There may be other toes in the body, to help bring balance.
There may be another spleen, kidney, liver…whatever….but there is something that is lost because the person burying the gift did not GIVE it to the body.

As I ponder on GRACE – I realize that my gifts are FOR ministering the GRACE OF GOD TO THE SAINTS!

I have struggled with the concern that I am burying my gifts…sometimes by life situations…sometimes purposefully…sometimes in fear.
But until last night, I didn’t realize that by burying my gifts…odd gifts that many are not interested in accepting…I am robbing the Body of Christ the gifts of GRACE that GOD preordained to be shared by me.

I’ve been trying to place my giftings out for availability for several years now…though not all have been exposed.
Maybe that is part of the fear in obtaining this studio…
I’m coming out!
I’m coming out of my basket!!!!
I’m already out of the boat!

I wonder what will happen as I take my walks with Jesus farther and farther…growing stronger and stronger?
That basket will disintegrate in the face of HIS GLORY AND GRACE!!!

John 1:14,16 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.
And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.

1 John 1:4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

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Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

28 days of grace, day 0

Tomorrow I start a 28 day yeast free diet designed by a medical doctor that is also a naturopath.

This is to cleanse my body of toxins from unhealthy living as well as UN health.

As I start this journey, I can’t help but wonder what spiritual parallels will come to light.

So far I am learning that any journey takes preparation and counting the cost. In addition, I need to learn to say no to things that are not good for my body, like a specially made carrot cake or cool whip chocolate pie.

Commitment is always strongest at the beginning, and I have already eaten some sugary things for which I’ve paid a tummy price.

Tomorrow is bloodwork, and the first day of the rest of my life.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Just sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps #34 – Prayer to be a light on my Path

This blog is not so much what I’ve been learning as it is a prayer to practice what I’ve been learning. In one week, 12/29/2011, I will have Achilles tendon surgery, with some bone deformities repaired and many spurs removed.

There is an insurance issue. Someone changed our insurance policy – causing us to supposedly need to pay 1000 deductible(and ‘only’ 200 has been met…totally bogus) and 10% of the surgery. On 9/27 and 11/2, surgeries were covered 100% – but, a person, somewhere, did something…and we are having trouble THIS WEEK getting things approved for next week. Christmas is Sunday and no one will be at work tomorrow or Monday. New Years is coming…and with that, a new program with higher deductibles.

I’m sure anyone can imagine what stress that adds to getting together with family. And we have an additional family member attending our weekend that is especially caustic.

A dear friend shared Rom 15:13 with me…

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

it goes nicely with Phil 4:7 –

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I have been battling down fear for this 12 week situation – 8 in which I am non weight bearing(cannot walk)…and I guess the enemy has not enjoyed the fact that I have been in victory over this, and has been throwing all sorts of things in my path. I have stumbled. I have fallen.
But Ps 37:24 says

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.

I am trying to hold onto Is 41:10 and 13

Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Victory is mine – in the Lord, and I know

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.(Phil 4:13)

My desire is to

Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That (I) may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom (I) shine as lights in the world;(Phil 2:14-15)

Hebrews 11:1 reminds me that

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Just because I cannot see the manifestation of my faith in this situation, does not mean that God isn’t working in me.
I will always be in a battle – until the day I see HIM face to face…but in the mean time, I need to dwell in the secret place that is so eloquently described in Ps 23.

So, what is my prayer request?

That I will hold fast to the truth,
that I will stand fast in the Word of God,
that I will be a light shining on a hill to all in the next week, and in the 12 weeks that follow.
I pray that the joy of the Lord will be my strength(more specifically,
that I will run into the name of the Lord, that strong tower,
and absorb that joy that is in His presence, and be strong), and
that the Prince of Peace will reign in my heart in the midst of the storms swirling around me.
I pray that I will hear HIS voice saying – PEACE, BE STILL –
and that I will instantly obey.

Total healing would be great, too…but, I have no problem believing for that.

It’s for my walk with the Lord that I am asking for prayer – and not just that, it’s that my life will shine to all who meet me. I can get so self focused when I am in pain, and I want to be a blessing to those that help, serve, and care for me.

This is my prayer.

I hope that these songs bless you, as the Word of God will bless you – in the midst of storms. I pray that I will dance in the midst of the storms.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 spiritual walking steps – 28 – sticking with the map

Our family, 1999

Yesterday, I read the daily devotional, for October 18, from the book Made to Crave God-Every Day of the Year. It was based around:

Matthew 5.20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

That last phrase hit me right between the eyes.

ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven

I made that red, because that is Jesus talking. Jesus said except my righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the Pharisees I will in no way enter into the kingdom of heaven.

What?!

I have admitted that I’m a sinner
I have repented of my sins
I have asked Jesus to be Lord of my life, Savior of my soul, King of my heart
I have followed this inward action with a public declaration by water baptism
and as dear Martin Luther declared, the just shall live by faith

I’ll get to “the just shall live by faith” eventually.

First, to let everyone know…I know…

Ephesians 2.8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

NO, we are not saved by our works, and in this study of these Scriptures, I’m not looking for salvation. But, here are some verses:

Mark 16.16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
John 10.9 I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.
Acts 2.21 And it shall come to pass, [that] whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Acts 4.12 Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
Acts 16.31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.
Romans 10.9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Romans 10.13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved
2 Tim 1.9 Who hath saved us, and called [us] with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

I hope this will convince those that read this, I do know that salvation is by faith in Jesus Christ. Titus 3 sort of puts another twist and what I am looking at:

Titus 3.5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;
6 Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour;
7 That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
8 [This is] a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.

“that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works”

Ephesians 2.10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Oh, look! The verse following Ephesians 2.8&9, is Ephesians 2.10! The very verse used to contradict any “works benefit” is followed by a verse that declares we were created for good works that we should walk in!

There are several things that come up when I look at these verses.

what is righteousness?
can we lose our salvation?
should we be working on ‘doing’?

I posted two of the quotes from October 18th’s devotional on facebook. I have no idea who the men are. Wikipedia articles on William Law and John Keble describe them as devote writers from the 1700’s.

“You perhaps will say that all people fall short of the perfection of the gospel, and therefore you are content with your failings..
But this is saying nothing to the purpose: for the question is not whether the Gospel perfection can be fully attained, but whether you come as near it as a sincere intention and careful diligence can carry you. Whether you are not in a much lower state than you might be if you sincerely intended and carefully labored to advance yourself in all Christian virtues. W.M. Law. (from the book “Made to Crave God – Every Day of the Year’ for Oct 18).”

‎

“We know not exactly how low the least degree of obedience is, which will brain a man to heaven; but this we are quite sure of, that he who aims no higher will be sure to fall short of even that, and that he who goes farthest beyond it will be most blessed.” John Keble (from the boook “Made to Crave God – Every Day of the Year” for Oct 18)

These also hit me in the head, and caused me to reevaluate my walk…am I really aiming high? Am I taking righteousness, separation, and sanctification seriously? Do I look, act, respond differently than the world? Or is there too much ‘world’ in me? And, how much is too much?

We’re not supposed to lust after the world, we’re not supposed to act like the world, we’re not supposed to love the world, that’s simple New Testament. Yes, they are supposed to know us by our love. Yet, I believe there is something about keeping God’s commands that I may be missing, because He says if you love me you will keep my commands(John 14:21). Do I keep His commands? What ARE His commands?

If Jim told me he never wanted me to wear green again, how would he feel if he came home and I was completely decked out in green? Or, reverse that, and how would we feel if our husbands came home decked out in something we’d told him that we did not like. I’d feel unloved, disrespected, and dishonored. Don’t we owe God at least that much if not much more love and respect and honor?

Anyway, it’s not about works. It’s about a heart that desires to love God enough to lay down naked and play with Army soldiers if need be(Isaiah 20, Ezekiel 4). And the thing is, He’s not asking that of us! He’s just asking for obedience, just as a father asks for obedience of the children, and respect from the wife.

An example from my life. I go back to the hair and the dress issue with which I have struggled.

Jim and I, 1999

For years, I have heard my husband share how he was hurt because he had made his desires known.

Jim's girls, 1999

He gave us free choice, and we,
myself and our three daughters, eventually, chose to cut our hair and wear pants.

Dear Jim, I’m sorry. Please forgive me for all the years that I have not loved you enough to honor and obey your desires. I do love you, and I thank God for giving me to you, and you to me.

And now, as I try to be a better wife for Jim, I have to try to give God at least as much.
This makes it a little clearer for me.

Jim doesn’t love me because I wear dresses,
and he didn’t/won’t stop loving me if I wear pants.
But when I choose to do something to acknowledge his desires, our fellowship is sweeter.
If I wear pants, he won’t divorce me.
When I cut my hair, he doesn’t kick me out of the marriage.
if I choose to do the opposite of what would please Jim,
I hurt him,
I disappoint him,
and there is a block in our fellowship.

And that’s with someone I can see, hear, smell, touch, and actively talk things out with. If I can’t do it with him, whom I can see, what chance do I have with the God I cannot see?

1 John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

And then, all the years that I proclaimed my liberty and freedom of choice as a wife, I also proclaimed my liberty and freedom of choice as the daughter of God. But what was I declaring my liberty and freedom from? Obedience?

This is not condemnation, this is conviction, mourning over the ways I have hurt the two most important beings in my life. And this sorrow is godly sorrow, and I pray that it brings about the righteousness of Christ in my life.

2 Cor 7:9 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.
10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

What is the map? The Word of God…I say with Peter:

John 6:68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

So, I am taking some time to make sure that I am walking down the path that I see, as I read my map.

Mat 5:20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed [the righteousness] of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Phil 2:12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

I want to walk this walk towards my Saviour…pressing on for the MARK of the prize of the high calling in Christ Jesus. There is a pressing on. There is a working out our salvation with fear and trembling. There is a race to be run – and some will not finish the race. I want to finish the race, with all that is in me, glorifying God in every way. I will be looking into those three questions in future blogs. Thanks for hanging in here with me!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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100 spiritual walking steps – 27 – the festivals along the way

~I apologize, before hand, for the inconsistencies in this post, as I am using a speech to text program, and have only one hand with which to type. please give me grace for the mistakes.

Right now, the Jewish community is celebrating Sukkot. This holiday began the evening of October 12 and continues until the evening of October 19. Everyone else, especially the pagans, are preparing to celebrate Halloween. Although the celebration is always October 31, the communities celebrate Halloween on various days to make it safer for the children.

How does one walking along the path of life choose which festivals to participate in? Or DO you participate in any festivals?

Because I am a Christian, and because I try to live my life through Biblical principles, I will not be discussing festivals of other religions. I will be discussing festivals/holidays, celebrated or not celebrated, by the various forms of Christianity.

There are some in the Christian faith that don’t celebrate any holidays. Their thinking is that the Jewish festivals are gone/past because we are not bound by Jewish law under Christ, and the so-called Christian festivals were Christianized pagan holidays, and we should not participate in the holidays of the pagans. Some take this as far as to not celebrate birthdays. Some will not celebrate the national holiday because of the rebellion to the authorities of that day.

On the other hand, there are those of the Christian faith that celebrate everything, with no difference from the world. their position is, it’s all in fun!

As for my personal opinion and position, I am torn.

When Jim and I married, Jim was not that big on holidays, but I had sweet memories of them. In the beginning, Jim and I chose not to celebrate holidays in the same way as the world. Then we joined a church that exposed the pagan origins of Christmas, Easter, and Halloween. At this point we stopped celebrating holidays, except Thanksgiving and birthdays. This caused a great rift with our extended families.

When the children came along, and the first one went to public school, I decided to focus on the Christian aspects of the US holidays, such as Christmas. Everything we did related to a Scripture verse, or Biblical principle, to be tangible lessons about God’s grace. We didn’t do Santa because we didn’t want to lie to our children. We did do Nativity scenes, but made sure they understood that there were no Kings at Jesus’s birth.
My purpose was to give them a godly worldview in the midst of an ungodly world, something to hold onto, that illustrated our difference.

We did participate in harvest festivals as opposed to Halloween parties. But as we participated in the Halloween alternatives our children asked us what was the difference. In our understanding of the Bible, and the origins of Halloween, we felt it was a pagan holiday and as Christians we should have nothing to do with pagan celebrations. Our children concurred, therefore we quit. “and a little child shall lead you”(Is 11:6)

Today, I am looking into the Scriptures that talk about not participating or joining in any way the ways of the pagans. That said, I do not believe that it is right to throw out an error free thing that evil has used for a sign for itself.

God gave the rainbow to Noah as a promise. -error-free
Homosexuals have used the rainbow to declare their opposition to God’s design in Genesis.
do we throw out the rainbow?

The Bible says in Psalm 8 that creation declares the glory of God, God created the Evergreen – error-free
Christmas trees go back to the pagans,do we have to give the pagans the evergreen tree?
Doesn’t God teaches about eternal life with that? Didn’t God create the evergreen tree first?

****but what to do with this passage in Jeremiah?

Jeremiah 10.2-4 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
3 For the customs of the people [are] vain: for [one] cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

I cannot get over the fact that this sounds like a Christmas tree. But not an evergreen tree, growing in the forest. Man has taken what God meant for good and used it for evil.

I believe that Judaism is the foundation of Christianity.
I believe that God intended celebrations and therefore instituted them in the Jewish religion, as a remembrance His works before the eyes of his people.
I believe that God wants us to celebrate, and that the celebrations are meant to remind us of His activity in our lives.
I believe as Christians that we should participate in communion (the Lord’s supper) as a remembrance of what Christ did for us on the cross.
In that regard, awhy we don’t celebrate the feast of the Tabernacles as our Jewish brothers and sisters do but with the glorious knowledge that the foreshadowing as been fulfilled in Christ’s birth, God Tabernacle-ing with us.
why don’t we celebrate Passover, the great foreshadowing of our deliverance?

Do we throw away the Old Testament? is celebrating the biblical feasts really being bound by the law? I don’t believe Jesus came to abolish the Old Testament but rather to fulfil it. And if the same celebrations were good enough for Jesus, why not remembering Him in the celebrations that He fulfilled?

As the day nears for Christ’s return, I want to be sure that when He calls out my name I am not entangled with things of this life. I am 51. If God grants me the gift of 70 years I have 19 years left. (Ps 90:10) I have 19 years, 29 maybe, to give, to serve my Lord Jesus. No man knows the day that Christ will call him home.(Luke 12:16) When He does call my name, what will He find me doing (Luke 18:8)? I have been convicted that while I believe there is room to have parties, to have fun, to laugh, to sing, yes, even to dance, I need to number my days (Ps 90:12), and to the best of my ability to all things to the glory of God (I Cor 10:31).

Since we are in October, and Sukkot and Halloween are upon us, I an going to post links for these two holidays, and let the reader decide.

A pagan explanation of Halloween
Wikipedia’s article on Halloween
a Christian view from Grace to You
Wikipedia’s article on Sukkot
Judaism 101’s article on Sukkot
Jews for Jesus connecting Christ with Sukkot

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 spiritual walking steps – 25 – at a crossroads

~I apologize, before hand, for the inconsistencies in this post, as I am using a speech to text program, and have only one hand with which to type. please give me grace for the mistakes.

Have you ever been at a crossroad?
I mean, we’ve had big crossroads,

are we going to sin, or choose Jesus?

but I’m talking about more specific things to ourselves.

Like for me, I’m being convicted about what I put in the Temple of God.
Understand I’ve been convicted before, but this time it’s like I’m at a crossroads, before it was just stuff to work on while I was walking down the road headed towards being like Christ.

Now, it’s like there are some things that if I hold onto them I will have gone down the wrong road. None of them are “sin” in the eyes of most, or in many interpretations from the Bible. These are things specific to me, between me and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I have several things at this point that God is holding up in front of me, and it’s like I can’t go forward with him unless I drop these things.

One is about headcoverings. this comes from first Corinthians 11
Another is wearing dresses. this comes from first Timothy 2
then there’s the food I eat.

1Cor 3:17If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which [temple] ye are.

Actually, it’s all about how I treat the temple God.

These could be a legalistic issues, but for me it’s something the Lord is working in my heart for many years. What is the struggle? why do I have a problem? Am I…

sitting on the fence?
regretting my hand to the plow?
wondering how much is worth sacrificing?

I’ve heard the teachings that first Corinthians 11 is for the social issues of the day. well, specifically, first Corinthians 11….

I can’t even separate the verses about headcoverings without separating the verses about Christ being the head of the church,or man is the head of the woman, or God is the head of Christ. 1 cor 11…..can you?

what does this mean?

John 15.10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

John 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.

John 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

I put my hand plow, I don’t want to turn back.
I’ve been sitting on the fence for way too long.
How much is worth sacrificing for the One who sacrificed His life for me?

can I give up everyday ice cream?
can I wear a scarf on my head?
can I wear dresses and skirts?
Is that too much to ask from someone who bought me with His blood?

I’ve done it before, and quit because it bothered others. It didn’t line up with their interpretation of the Bible. They felt my life, my practices, were judgments on them.

Is that really my problem? No I don’t want to be a stone around the necks of those who have not studied the Scriptures enough to stand on their own. But does that mean I compromise what God has put in my heart? Or does it come down to the 10 virgins, and I’m giving up my oil to those that did not gather enough for themselves?

Like I said, I am at a crossroads with things the Lord has put on my heart, and my understanding of Scriptures.
My crossroads is this,

are you going to obey what I have shown you?
yes or no?

the bottom line is, am I going to say yes Lord, and trust others to Him?
Oh yeah, one question I’ve been asked by those who I have shared this struggle with is, what does Jim say?
Jim likes me wearing headcoverings
Jim likes me wearing dresses
Jim would like me to eat healthy

So then, the other crossroads, am I willing to give up”fitting in” to please my husband, and obey my God?

As I write this out, I’m shaking my head. By God’s grace, I will walk out my specific commandments with courage, with grace, with peace and with out condemnation or fear of what others might think.

and today, on Facebook, from my friend Pam Dodson, I read this quote

“When you are arguing against Him you are arguing against the very power that makes you able to argue at all.” C.S. Lewis

there’s really nothing else to say.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

there are giants in my land – part three

~It would seem that part three should be the third giant, but it’s only the second. I explained the giants in number one, and discussed the giant of fear in number two.

The second giant that has overshadowed my life is the giant of depression.

Many people think that the opposite of depression is happiness. Happiness is based on what happens around you, and joy is based on your Jesus relationship.

There is a simple circle that brings this truth to life.
Jesus came that we may have joy

John 15.11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and [that] your joy might be full.

In the presence of the Lord there is fullness of joy

Psalm 16.11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence [is] fulness of joy; at thy right hand [there are] pleasures for evermore.

The joy of the Lord is our strength

Neh 8.10 : for [this] day [is] holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

We can do all things Christ Jesus who strengthens us…

Phil 4.13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

…Because Jesus came that we might have joy

John 16.24 Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.

So the bottom line is, if I’m depressed, where my dwelling?

Several years ago I wrote a post called “The Oil of Joy”, and that was the beginning of my battle with the giant of depression. The giant of depression had been around for quite a while, but this is when I started to learn how to battle. Here it is.

Joy is a choice. This is what God was telling me.

With my past experience with abuse, which plunged me into deep depression, medically declared not recoverable, as well as a mother with Bi-Polar/Manic-Depressive, and a daughter diagnosed as the same, as well as suicides running through the family spirit….Joy has been an elusive concept at times. I don’t take joy for granted. I respect the warning signs of depression.

It’s a choice? None of the above was a choice!
What choice do I have?

Psal 16:6 (KJS) The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant [places]; yea, I have a goodly heritage.
7 I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
8 I have set the LORD always before me: because [he is] at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
10 For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence [is] fulness of joy; at thy right hand [there are] pleasures for evermore.

I can choose to trust in the Lord, look at what He has done for me, seek His counsel, hearken to His words, bless Him, set Him before me, and to stay in His presence, at His right hand.

Isai 61:3 (KJS) To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Hebr 12:12 (KJS) Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;

My hands hang down when I am discouraged, my knees are feeble when I am afraid…..and then Lord says:

Nehe 8:10 (KJS) Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for [this] day [is] holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

He is my strength! If I let Him be my joy…then I will be strong..in Him!

2Tim 1:7 (KJS) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

1Pet 1:13 (KJS) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

Last week, I was overcome with discouragement…when all in the house were sick or not up to par, and the plan wasn’t working, and there was so much to do. I had finally, taken a walk with the Lord…and had started to pull out of the dumps…but even the work of Saturday, the hugeness of it, without really even touching what I needed to get done for school brought me to my knees in tears. I went to my prayer closet (bathroom) and cried. Where is the joy? And He gently reminded me that joy is a choice…a choice of where I spend my time, where I place my heart, where I walk, and with whom I talk. In HIS presence is fullness of joy! I had been too busy doing what I thought He wanted me to do, that I hadn’t been with Him.

When I was marching around the house, thinking on the sins that were attacking our family, I had great joy…..from the presence of the King.

My prayer is(Acts 17:27-28) That in Him I would live, and move and have my being. That I would walk after the Spirit (Rom 8), (Gal 5:16-25) and live in the spirit-

Gala 5:25 (KJS) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

This is part of the Big Plan that God has for my family…

Jude 1:24 (KJS) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present [you] faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, [be] glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

it was some time after this post that I changed my signature Bible verse to Psalm 63.7

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I learned that if I abide in the secret place of the most high and dwell under the shadow of the Almighty(Ps 91), nothing can keep me from singing.

I have written about the power of music to quiet demons in one’s head.

David played for Saul to quiet his demons. 1 Sam 16.23

God inhabits the praises of his people. Psalm 22.3

Psalm 100 gives step-by-step how to abide in the Lord and in his joy with singing.

A psalm. For giving thanks. Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.